I'm just a girl.
A girl whose bedroom is her fortress. My best friend is my phone, even though I don't have many real friends to talk to on it. I have a hard time making friends.
My world is small, very confined. I sometimes feel like a bird in a cage. I guess all 13-year-olds feel like this. Right? I go to school, but I don't feel any urge to talk to anyone. I just don't fit in like the others do. Everyone seems to mesh together, while I stay an outcast, not belonging anywhere. I have a few "friends," but I've never been someone's best friend. I guess I'm okay with that.
Classes are long, and the hallways are overcrowded, making it difficult to get to class on time. I hate lunchtime because it's awkward sitting alone. A few people sit with me, but we're not close. We just sit together so we're not alone. Sometimes, I don't go into the lunchroom at all. Instead, I'll hide outside and eat my packed lunch on the ground somewhere. "Why am I like this?" I think to myself.
John rounds the corner and spots me sitting against the school building. He looks down at me, confused. "What are you doing here?" he asks. I take a moment to think of what to say. "I just like being out here instead of in there with the crowd," I say, smiling, trying to be polite. John's a pretty cool dude. He's quiet, but don't let that fool you—he's hilarious.
"Lunch is almost over," he adds.
"Yay…" I say sarcastically. I get up from my pitiful solo picnic, dust my backside off, and look at him, laughing.
"You're silly," he says as I gather my things.
"I know…" I reply awkwardly.
It's now 3:20 p.m.—ten minutes until school lets out for the day. I bet my mom is already waiting to pick me up. I'm ready to get out of here. I always leave school with a headache, so she always brings me a Gatorade to help. The bell rings, and class is over. Yay.
I get in the car, and Mom is already stressing over the traffic as all the students exit the parking lot.
Home at last. Free at last. I take my shoes off at the door and bring my bag to my bedroom—my fortress. Dinner is ready. Mom, Dad, my brother, and I sit at the table, talking about our days. "Say your prayer first," Mom says. Blake, my little brother, folds his hands and mumbles a prayer none of us can understand. "Amen," he finishes. That part we did understand. We talk and eat, then go our separate ways in the house. It's a small house, so we don't have to go far. I go to my room, put on my headphones, and zone out like I always do.
Mom pops into my room. "I need to go to Walmart for a few items. Are you staying here or coming with me?" she asks. I take off my headphones and follow her out the door. Mom is a fast shopper, and before we know it, we're in line to check out. As I'm standing beside her in line, I hear my name called from a distance behind me. I turn around, and it's John. "Hey, John!" I say, surprised. He nods awkwardly as he passes by. Beside him is an older guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, like John's. He glances at me for half a second—probably not even that long—and hurries along with John. I turn back around, and Mom is already putting her items on the belt.
"Who's that?" she asks with a smile.
"Someone from school," I say, happy that someone actually acknowledged me outside of school. It felt nice. It made my night. I went back home feeling a little brighter. I know I said I'm okay with being an outcast, but a little socializing feels great. I help Mom bring in the groceries and then head back to my fortress. Headphones back on, but this time listening to something happier.
The alarm goes off in my ear. I must have fallen asleep listening to music. I'm so glad it's Friday. I get ready, eat breakfast, and Mom takes my brother and me to school. He goes to elementary school, so he gets dropped off first. Then me.
"Love you, have a good day," she says. I won't, I think to myself. I close the car door and head inside, where another day of the same thing awaits. Every day.