Chapter 75 - chapter 72

"A small light illuminates the shadows,

but in the void,

it is swallowed whole."

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Ren is holding the girl's limp form in his trembling grip, hovering in the air, staring at her pale face.

For a moment he just hovers there, looking at her, thinking to himself,

"What am i doing? Why am I saving her? I'm not hero, I don't save people... But"

He hears voices from below, a small crowd gathering. People are taking pictures and making videos.

"Shit," he mutters, extending his hand, clocking them both in shield, becoming invisible.

He then takes off with her, getting away from the scene with her in his arms. But the guilt claws at his insides, twisting like a knife.

"Why am I doing this? Why do I care if she dies? People die every day. I can't save them all, I don't want to save anyone.

So why?"

The question gawns at him, unrelenting:

"Because she tried to die because of me? Because it's my fault?"

He lands softly on a rooftop of an abandoned building, the chill of the air prickling his skin.

He sets the girl down gently, but as soon as her feet touch the cold surface, she stumbles. Her body shakes, her arms wrapped around herself as if trying to keep her very soul from escaping.

She doesn't look at him, doesn't say anything, but her entire body trembles with silent sobs.

Ren feels his heart crush under the weight of the silence. He doesn't know what to say, where to start, but he knows he has to try.

"Are you going to kill me yourself?" Her voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through him like a blade.

Ren freezes.

"No! No, I—" His words falter, his throat tight.

He swallows hard, his eyes searching hers, desperately trying to find some trace of the person she used to be, but all he sees is a broken shell.

"I… I don't want to hurt you."

The girl laughs, but it's not the sound of a person who's alive. It's hollow, bitter, filled with so much pain it feels like the very air around them might suffocate.

"Hurt me?" she scoffs, her voice cracking.

"You've already done that. Do you really think killing me would be any worse than what you've already done? Because it feels like I'm already dead."

Ren takes a step forward, but her words stop him in his tracks.

Her head hangs low, her hands clutching the fabric of her shirt like she's trying to hold herself together.

"If you're not going to kill me, then just leave me here to rot. I don't care anymore. Do you understand? I don't care about anything." Her voice shakes as she looks up at him, tears streaming down her face.

"You've taken everything from me, and now… all I want is for it to end."

Ren's heart twists in his chest.

"No," he whispers, taking another hesitant step.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think… I didn't think you'd…" He struggles to find the words, his mind racing.

He can't understand it. Why is she like this? Why is she breaking in front of him, so far gone that she wishes for death?

She pulls her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them, her entire body shaking.

"You don't get it, do you?" she says, her voice dangerously calm, though the pain behind it is suffocating.

"You've destroyed everything that made me feel alive. All I wanted was to be normal, to live my life… and now, I can't even look at myself without hating what you've turned me into."

Ren's breath catches in his throat.

"I didn't mean to—"

"You didn't mean to?!" she cuts him off, her voice rising, a thin thread of desperation lacing through it.

"You didn't mean to? Do you know what that means? That means you've ruined me by accident. I wasn't even important enough for you to care about what I'd become. You're the one who doesn't get it. You can't just not mean to destroy someone's life and expect them to forgive you."

Her words hit him like a physical blow, and he falls silent, the weight of her pain crashing into him. He wants to apologize, but the words feel too small, too hollow in comparison to what he's done, he realises that now.

"I never thought it would be like this," he murmurs.

"I thought people… they move on. That's how it works. I thought if I was strong enough, I could do anything. That people would forget."

She laughs again, but it's full of nothing but despair. "Forget?" she echoes, her voice cracking.

"You really thought I could forget? That I could just… go back to my life, like nothing happened? Well, I can't. I don't know how to. I don't even know who I am anymore."

Ren staggers forward, his hands trembling.

"I didn't want this for you. I didn't want this for anyone," he says, his voice breaking.

He drops to his knees in front of her, his body shaking with guilt.

"I was wrong. I see that now. I thought I could just… take what I wanted. But now I realize I've taken more than I could ever repay. I'm so sorry. I can't take back what I've done, but please… please tell me what I can do to make it right."

Her head jerks up, and for a split second, Ren sees the raw pain in her eyes, the depth of her hurt that goes beyond anything he could have imagined. But it fades almost immediately, replaced by an empty, haunted look.

"I don't want you to make it right," she says softly.

"I don't want anything from you. I just want it to end. I don't care what you do anymore. I'm so tired."

Ren's throat tightens as he hears the weariness in her voice. The hopelessness. It's like a weight that crushes him, making it impossible to breathe.

"Please, don't say that," he pleads.

"Please don't give up. I… I'll never..."

She closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"You're not the one who has to live with it. You're not the one who has to wake up every day, knowing what you've done. I have to live with this." Her voice breaks, and she looks up at him, her eyes full of tears.

"I don't even want to be alive anymore. Please… just let me die. Kill me, Please. I can't do this anymore."

Ren stares at her, the weight of her words crashing over him like a wave. His body trembles, his hands shaking as if they have a mind of their own. He reaches for her, pulling her into his arms before he even realizes what he's doing.

She doesn't resist, doesn't push him away, and Ren holds her tighter, his own tears falling uncontrollably. His head presses against her shoulder, his heart breaking at the sound of her quiet sobs.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, his voice cracking.

"I didn't know… I didn't know it would be like this. I was just… so selfish. I didn't think of you. I only thought about myself."

She doesn't say anything, but her body shakes in his arms. Her fragile form feels like it's about to fall apart, and Ren holds her as tightly as he can, as though trying to hold all the broken pieces of her together.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness," he chokes out, his voice hoarse.

"But please… don't give up. Please don't leave me with this guilt."

She doesn't answer, but the silent weight of her grief hangs between them, heavy and suffocating.

Both of them cry together, lost in the tragedy of what Ren has done, and what has happened to her.

The rooftop, cold and empty, feels like a tomb, and neither of them knows if they'll ever find a way out of the darkness.