As I stood on the porch and watched the last of the light fade behind the trees, the cool evening air settled over the town. I was alone with my thoughts, thoughts that had grown more and more jumbled, while Theo slept upstairs, exhausted from yet another adventure with Logan. I wasn't sure how to feel about Logan starting to feel like a constant presence once more.
I was startled out of my reverie by the buzzing sound on my phone. I noticed a message from an old friend, Lana, when I looked down at the screen. She had supported me during my darkest moments, including my pregnancy, my heartbreak, and the evenings when I felt like I would never be whole again. She reminded us of our meeting this week in her brief message. However, remembering those difficult moments and seeing her name served as a wake-up call. It made me think about why I had initially constructed these walls.
I turned to look at Logan as he came around the corner of the house, his face partially obscured by the sudden sound of footsteps. He appeared to have picked a small bouquet of wildflowers while returning from the woods. The gesture was unexpected—sweet, even—but I couldn't get rid of the wary feeling that came over me.
As he ascended the stairs, he gave me a tentative little smile and said, "You're still up."
I answered, sounding softer than I had meant, "Couldn't sleep." He followed my eyes and held out the flowers as I looked at them.
He remarked, "These made me think of you." "I thought adding some colour to your day couldn't hurt."
I took them slowly, feeling a sudden sense of nostalgia from the delicate scent. I muttered, "Thank you, Logan," hardly looking him in the eye.
As though he was waiting for me to say something more, he sat down beside me in the chair, the silence extending comfortably. The two of us sitting together, enjoying the simplicity of simply being near each other, felt strangely like the past. However, the fact that things were no longer straightforward weighed heavily on my heart.
"So... How are you handling everything? Logan enquired in a soft, cautious tone.
I tried to arrange my thoughts by biting my lip. To be honest, it's a lot. You're returning to both Theo's and my lives. I thought I had buried things, but it has uncovered them.
He looked at the ground and nodded. "I get it. I don't want to complicate matters for you. However, I also don't want to leave. To me, Theo is everything, and— His voice grew softer as he paused. "You also do."
My heart tightened at those final words, a pulsation of hurt and warmth mingling until I felt lightheaded. Hearing that from him after all this time and after all the suffering was odd.
I omitted the rest of what he had said and simply said, "I appreciate you being here for Theo." "He has become very attached to you."
His face flashed with a slight sadness. "I can't bear the idea of missing any more of his life; I've already missed so much."
His voice was one of regret rather than anger, which in some way made it more difficult for me to maintain my own resentment. He was evolving into someone I could have trusted—someone I could have fallen in love with again. However, the memory of the day he had so easily pushed me away came back to me, and the pain was as acute as ever.
He broke the quiet with a gentle "Aria." "You greatly raised him." You are the reason he is such a great child."
A glimmer of warmth softened my resistance as I gazed at him. "I'm grateful, Logan. I wanted to give him the best life I could, but I was powerless to do otherwise. even if it meant working alone.
"I see that." He seemed to be deep in thought, and his voice was barely audible. "If I could return... If I could alter the course of events...
"But you can't, Logan," I cut in, my tone firm but not rude. "The done is the done. There is no going back, and we are both different now.
A shadow of pain passed across his face as he turned away. "I understand." But perhaps—just perhaps—we could begin anew? For the benefit of Theo and perhaps for ours as well?
I swallowed hard, caught between the protective instinct I had developed over the years and the glimmer of hope his words evoked. "I'm not sure, Logan. It isn't that easy. I can't act like it never happened.
His shoulders drooped slightly as he nodded. "I get it. However... If you don't mind, I will continue to try. No matter how long it takes, I will make every effort to regain your trust.
He reminded me of the man I had once loved, and the sincerity in his voice made me shudder. And perhaps did, hidden beneath layers of hurt and treachery. However, I felt that acknowledging that to myself was a betrayal of all the strength I had worked so hard to develop.
It was a heavy, charged moment that hung between us. Then, suddenly, he extended his hand and touched me with his fingers. I recoiled, taken aback by the warmth of his touch and the rush of memories it evoked. Both of us froze, the unsaid tension growing between the past and the potential for something new.
However, Theo's drowsy voice interrupted the moment by calling out from inside the house. With the spell broken, I withdrew my hand and got up.
I retreated towards the door and muttered, "I should go check on him."
Logan nodded, and his face softened. "Obviously. Aria, good night.
A tiny part of me wanted to say more to calm the desire in his eyes, but I hesitated. Instead, though, I turned and went inside, thankful for the dim hallway that concealed the bewilderment that hung over my face.
---
I lay in bed later that night, but I couldn't fall asleep. Logan's touch lingered on my skin like a spectral warmth that would not go away, and his words replayed in my head. This tug-of-war between self-preservation and forgiveness was frustrating; it left me worn out but unable to switch off the memories.
I reflected on all the lonely nights I'd spent sobbing myself to sleep and wishing things had turned out differently. Together with Theo, I had created a decent life that had been satisfying in its own right. But Logan's presence was now causing me to reevaluate everything I had previously believed I wanted and open doors I had previously forced shut.
The idea was both thrilling and terrifying.
In the dark, I prayed to the moon in a whisper, asking for courage, wisdom, and a clue as to what I should do. However, the quiet only grew more profound, as though not even the night had the solution.
My dreams were plagued by flashbacks to the past and shadows of what might have been until I was unable to distinguish between the two when I finally fell into a restless sleep.