"Big strength, huh?"
Nick wanted to become the best Magician. Ideally that would mean becoming a rank 10 World Class Magician. There were less than 8 of those people to have ever existed on Grand Earth. If Nick wanted to reach such heights, big strength was indeed required. Now that he was back in reality, Nick could understand all of what Strength had said to him.
(What a weird 'vision'. It was similar to what I experienced in the dean's office. It seems that it was trying to teach me something. Strength said that you could only find real strength through your own efforts and that it is found in harsh places. I pretty much already knew that but a reminder is a good thing. I know how to develop strength but how do I develop 'big strength'?)
Looking back, Nick remembered that Big appeared as just a larger version of Strength himself.
(Does that mean that I should put in more efforts in the things that gave me strength in the first place? That sounds about right.)
Nick decided at that moment to recommit himself to his dream of being the best Magician and he would do that by continuing to work hard and the stronger he gets, the harder he would work. Determination burned in Nick's eyes.
"Now, to improve the Laws of Syracuse, I've already received some inspiration that I can tell has something to do with Big. Somehow my understanding of rule magic also increased by a little, it's an intuitive feeling but I can definitely sense my improvement."
Nick thought back to the moment that Big looked into his eyes with those glowing red eyes of his.
(Big...)
Nick picked up his notebook and began working on reformulating his new Laws of Syracuse with some improvements and additions. For the next week, Nick continued his routine of pushups, practicing math questions and working on the Laws of Syracuse and so he barely left his room. At the end of the week. Nick looked at his new set of Laws of Syracuse as it shone with a dull red light. Nick decided to rename his new laws, 'Big Improvement.'. He would only know their true effects after he engraved them into his mindscape. With the magic energy he was feeling from the written laws, Nick could intuit that they were satisfactory enough to carve into his mindscape. Nick decided to get some sleep before his attempt. He did his usual reps of pushups, showered and then went to sleep for six hours. When he woke up, he ate some snacks and then sat at his desk for his attempt. Nick closed his eyes and begun chanting his meditation. Nick's consciousness appeared in his mindscape and after making sure that the surroundings were the same as before including the endless road with cracks in it that was crumbling continuously, the figure of golden light walking on the road, the turbulent sea below and the night sky with around twenty stars shining brightly, the biggest one shone with a bluish red light.
"Okay, time to get started."
Nick had already read a few books that described the process of carving the foundation laws; it was not a difficult process. Nick willed and symbols for the laws of Big Improvement appeared in bright light in front of him one by one; it just so happened that forming a mindscape significantly improved one's memory and because of this, Nick actually remembers all the laws for Big Improvement. An hour later Nick had created many symbols made of white light, they remained stationary in midair. Nick thought that everything was going fine until...
"You're worthless!"
A scene of his grandaunt looking down on his younger self played out in his memory. The memory appeared so suddenly and brought up so many negative emotions that his carving of his foundation laws was momentarily interrupted. The symbols Nick had already formed crumbled and his consciousness was forced out of his mindscape. Nick jumped up from his desk because of the pain; he was bleeding from his eyes, nose and mouth. The next moment he felt completely light headed and collapsed where he stood. Before he lost consciousness, he whispered from his lips:
"A failure."
Everything turned dark for Nick. After what seemed like a long time Nick opened his eyes to see a full moon above him. He was currently lying face up on the ground and so he turned his head to have a look around.
(This isn't my dorm room.)
Nick was currently inside a small space that was barley lit and seemed to have narrow walls. The only light source seemed to be the full moon that appeared in the sky above him which he could see through an almost circular opening.
"Am I in a hole? What the hell? I have to get out."
Nick tried to move with all his might but he could not, it's as if his back was glued to the ground where he laid and like there were boulders holding his limbs down.
(Since visiting the dean's office, these visions have been coming to me. Did the dean do something to me?)
Flop!
Nick grew suspicious but before he could think more about his suspicions, something fell through the opening above him and fell near him a few feet away. Nick looked over and saw a small dog with brown fur and a bushy tail lying on the ground in the same situation as him. Next, unexpectedly, the dog looked at Nick and spoke in a worried voice:
"Damn it, I was so close to reaching my goal but I slipped while walking down the path and ended up falling down a deep hole. Who are you?"
Nick answered in a matter of fact manner:
"My name is Nick Capitol and I just woke up down here and I have no idea how I got here and I can't move either. What is your name?"
The brown dog answered in a less worried tone:
"My name is Failure. I was on my way to my goal but something unexpected happened and now I'm in this hole. Do you know the way out?"
Nick spoke with an uncertain tone:
"No, I do not know the way out."
After hearing that, Failure started to loudly wail and continued to do so for a long time. Nick tried to get him to stop but Failure was inconsolable. Nick was annoyed but could understand Failure's emotions so he stopped trying to get him to stop wailing and went silent.
Hiss Hiss Hiss.
Suddenly from the unlit part of the hole, a very menacing looking green snake emerged from the darkness. Nick could not see the end of the snake's body as it moved towards him and Failure. When Failure saw the snake, he wailed even louder. Nick screamed at the snake, trying to intimidate it:
"Who are you? Why are you here? You better not come over to us, or else!"
The snake slithered on the ground moving towards the wailing Failure but momentarily spoke without even bothering to look at Nick:
"Foolish boy, you ask who I am but who else could I be but the one and only, 'Loss'? Don't you know that the presence of failure is likely to attract loss. Look at how loud Failure is being, if he had been quieter, I may not have come so quickly."
Loss sped up his movements and arrived beside Failure. In the next moment Loss opened his mouth and slowly began to cover Failure with his mouth, all the while Failure was crying and begging for his life. In a few moments Loss had swallowed Failure and Failure could no longer be heard.
SILENCE
For a moment there was complete silence. Loss looked over at Nick with its glowing green eyes and spoke confidently:
"The consequence for failure always ends in loss."
Loss slithered towards Nick slowly, Nick still being unable to see the end of his body. Nick tried to buy himself some time by insulting Loss:
"You wicked bastard! How could you eat Failure like it was nothing? Do you even have a conscience?"
Loss scoffed at Nick.
"If you were so concerned about Failure's well being, then why didn't you stop him from all his wailing earlier, after all, that's the reason that I came so quickly."
Nick didn't have much of an answer, he opened his mouth to speak and then closed it.
"..."
Failure adopted a sinister smile and spoke:
"I'll tell you why. It's because you sympathized with him, didn't you, so you let him be, wailing for the whole world to hear? If you actually gave a damn about his condition you would have told him to stop wailing and to get up from his failure. Only a fool or a saboteur sympathizes with failure, even someone else's!"
Nick felt enlightened.
(I can't lie down like this in my own failure.)
Nick tried to exert strength over his body. To buy himself time he screamed at the approaching Loss:
"I know my failure is why I am here and so helpless but I'm going to do all I can to escape from this predicament and stomp on your neck!"
When Nick finished saying this Loss was already beside him opening its mouth in order to swallow him. Suddenly, Nick felt like there was no more pressure on him keeping him on the ground and so he jumped up and dodged Loss's attempt to devour him. Nick jumped behind Loss's head and indeed stomped on his neck, keeping him in place. Nick was exhilarated but puzzled.
"Why was I able to stand up so suddenly?"
Loss heard his question and replied grudgingly:
"Foolish boy, don't you know that accountability mitigates the weight of the failure that kept you down? Holding yourself responsible for your circumstances is the first step in getting up from failure."
Nick felt that Loss's words were really profound but he was still unsure of one thing.
"Loss, you were very menacing just a moment ago but how comes you seem so weak and powerless now."
Loss stopped struggling against Nick's foot on its neck and spoke listlessly:
"Sigh, loss always looks more threatening when you are feeling the weight of your failures but once you stand up in spite of them, I, Loss, have no more power over you."
Nick felt that what Loss was saying had a powerful lesson within it.
(So...persevering through failure makes the losses I suffer trivial. I understand now.)
Suddenly, Nick's vision went dark and when it returned, he found himself on the ground of his room. Nick's eyes were filled with determination; he picked himself up, washed his face, ate a few snacks and sat back at his desk ready to try carving out his foundation laws again.
(I'm truly ready this time.)
As soon as his consciousness entered his mindscape he willed for the laws of Big Improvement to form in midair. Hours passed by with scene after scene of his past traumas entering his mind, scenes involving his grandaunt, his sisters, his high school peers, his teachers and even other people who he barely knew.
"Why are you so useless, can't you do anything right?"
"Why doesn't he talk to us? Is there something wrong with him?"
"That boy clearly has no sense."
"You'll never amount to anything."
"Hey sis, that idiot is leaving now. Why does he even bother going to school. Someone who can barely talk to people can't possibly do anything in school, right?"
In the last scene, a girl from his high school science class looked him in the eye and said:
"You really are an ugly little duckling."
In the real world two lines of tears trailed down Nick's eyes, falling off of his face and onto the desk.
(I won't ever stop going after my dreams.)
At that moment the last symbol appeared in midair. The symbols shone a brighter white light which quickly changed to a dull red. The symbols floated into the night sky, enlarged to seemingly encompass Nick's vision and then disappeared.
"Carving the foundation laws is complete."
Nick's consciousness immediately left his mindscape. Nick's mind was now hazy; he felt his face and realized that there was a trail of tears leaving both of his eyes. He looked down at the desk and saw that they had formed a small pool on his desk after falling off of his face. Nick clenched his right fist and spoke:
"No amount of failures will ever stop me."