15 th December 1994
There were times when Sirius regretted taking up his Lordship. That afternoon was quickly becoming one of those times. Having returned from two tense meetings with minor pureblood Houses who were clearly trying to manoeuver for a détente without actually admitting they wanted a détente (which meant two whole hours of Slytherin fencing and saying everything by saying nothing), he paused in the doorway of his study at Hogwarts, scanned the heap of paperwork on his desk and groaned loudly.
Penny gave him a commiserating smile from her seat in front of the fire. She'd spread out her work on the sofa. "Sorry but Remus says they all need your review and signature."
"Remind me again why I thought this was a good idea?" Sirius asked as he threw himself into his chair and dragged the first parchment towards him.
"Harry." Penny answered as she continued to open envelopes with a brisk wave of her wand.
"Right." Sirius said brightly. Because Harry was the reason and he made it all worthwhile. The quiet pop of Dobby beside him brought much appreciated refreshments and Sirius dug into the work with a renewed, if grim, determination.
Most of the paperwork consisted of financial reports from the various properties and businesses that the House of Black managed. Remus had used muggle yellow sticky paper to highlight the salient points and direct Sirius's attention to decisions that he needed to make as Lord. The report on the Fevrier negotiation for the Italian's version of the Lumiere document was filled with numerous yellow stickies all basically saying 'not bloody likely' in respect to Fevrier's need for more money for odd items he deemed necessary supplies.
Half-way through, restless and bored with the financial reports, Sirius changed tack and delved into another pile. It was a tactic he used to keep himself motivated. As soon as he started to chafe at one task, he'd switch for a time to another to ensure he kept working. He'd just reached for the first parchment when Bill knocked on the open study door.
Sirius waved him inside. "What's up?"
"Thought you'd want to know the talk with the Ravenclaw ghost didn't go well." Bill sighed and slumped against the door jamb. "She basically told the Headmaster to sod off."
Sirius arched an eyebrow, torn between amusement (because he would have loved to have seen that) and frustration (because the search for the damn diadem in Hogwarts was going nowhere).
"Next step?" asked Sirius mildly.
"The Headmaster's going to ask a few of the other ghosts but…" Bill shrugged, "Caro and I figure we'll continue searching out from the original route we devised and take it from there. I don't think we're going to be done any time soon."
Sirius sighed. It was hard not to be discouraged. "You heading home?"
Bill nodded. "I have a date with Alicia."
"Is that Veela still following you around?" teased Penny.
"Quarter Veela," Bill said defensively and nodded, "I have told her I'm not available but she insists she just wants to be friends and…"
"And you don't want to break her heart by telling her to take a hike." Penny concluded.
Sirius cleared his throat and the two of them made apologetic looks, Bill quickly excusing himself and Penny returning her attention to her work.
With the interruption over, Sirius grabbed the top parchment which turned out to be a hiring request from Remus; he had detailed out his assistant's job, the salary and benefits, his view of his suggested appointment's relevant skills and experience. Attached was Clara Holliday's Curriculum Vitae, references, and a letter from her to Sirius detailing out her reasons for assuming the role. Sirius frowned as he reread over everything. On paper, it looked like a good fit especially since Remus had revealed nothing of a romantic nature was going to happen between them with Clara's interest being permanently elsewhere (although Sirius wasn't certain he was going to forgive Remus for a whole hour of whining about Clara's lack of interest over the mirror). Clara was an intelligent witch with good references and her own letter had revealed a dry wit and a sensible attitude. He had an inkling he'd like her very much but that wasn't the point.
He scrawled a message to Remus stating that they hadn't covered whether Clara would be able to do the position wholly from the farm (if that was the intention) and he'd like to meet her before saying a definitive 'yes.' He had to admit Remus had been right about Percy as a prospective candidate; that Percy had needed to find his own way. Sirius had learned from Arthur that Percy had been taken on by a friend of Brian Cutter's as a legal secretary with evening classes to complete a Mastery in Law. It looked like a good move for him.
Sirius's eyes sneaked to Penny. She and Percy hadn't resumed their romantic relationship although he knew Penny had gone to see him soon after the werewolf attack and had come back happier with the overall situation. Sirius thought it was a shame. They were a good match as a couple but then…maybe they weren't if Percy could ditch her at the first sign of trouble.
There was too much lovey-dovey stuff flying around the place, thought Sirius with sardonic amusement. Between Remus's romantic misadventures, Penny's broken-ish heart, and Harry's first foray into love with Hermione, Sirius felt surrounded. A tiny pang went through him; longing for something of his own, regret that he didn't have a love in his own life, but then there was a larger part of him that was relieved that he didn't have the ups and downs of a romance to deal with on top of everything else. He also wasn't entirely convinced that Harry was as sangfroid about Sirius dating as his son had claimed. So all in all, better that he was free and single and…
"Sirius?" Penny's puzzled tone cut through his thoughts and dragged Sirius back to the reality of his desk and the mountain of paperwork.
"Hmmm?" Sirius threw over his shoulder.
"This letter is telling me that as I am neither Mister Padfoot nor Mister Moony I should keep my beaky nose out of it." Penny said amused as she waved the parchment at him.
Sirius's blood ran cold. His wand was out immediately casting detection spells for harmful hexes and curses. They came back negative and Penny looked at him wide-eyed.
"Sirius?"
"Give me the letter." Sirius ordered. "It's from Worm…Pettigrew."
Penny blanched and hurried over. He levitated it from her hand, sealed it with an Auror spell to preserve evidence and finally grasped it. The instant the parchment was in his hand, the writing Penny had seen disappeared and new writing began to reel across the paper.
"Padfoot,
The Dark Lord has ordered Greyback to kill Moony. He will offer Moony a deal if he survives and expects when Moony declines another member of the pack will kill him instead to become Alpha and take the deal.
Wormtail."
"Bloody bastard!" Sirius snarled harshly, unsure if he meant Voldemort, Greyback or the rat. He closed his eyes briefly. He froze the writing so it could be read by others. "Dobby!"
The elf popped in immediately.
"Take this to Amelia Bones. Tell her it came in the mail and is from Peter Pettigrew." Sirius said.
As soon as Dobby departed, Penny turned to him. "Do you think…has he…is he on our side now?"
"No." Sirius said curtly. He motioned his apology with a vague hand wave. "Peter is all about looking out for number one. I would guess he's playing both sides just like he did last time." He leaned a hip against his desk and folded his arms. "I'm not even sure that this wasn't done without Voldemort's sanction. Peter still has to be a willing servant for the ritual to work in the Summer, and I'm certain Peter won't risk not being exactly what he's meant to be because if he got the ritual wrong, Voldemort would kill him."
Penny sighed. "So we can't trust anything he says?"
"We don't trust his motives and confirm everything he tells us through other sources." Sirius confirmed. "And in this particular instance, he's already late in his news." He pointed at the rest of the correspondence she had been working through. "If you get something else from Pettigrew set it aside immediately for me to examine. I know our mail flows through Gringotts and they deal with the hexes and everything but…it doesn't hurt to take precautions."
"I will." Penny promised. She made a tempus charm and frowned. "Mrs Malfoy should be here shortly."
Sirius repressed the urge to groan. "You get yourself home." He instructed. "Did Narcissa say what this meeting was about?"
"Just family business." Penny said, moving to retrieve her work and pack up her things.
She had just finished by the time Dobby announced Narcissa was waiting in the living room. Sirius escorted Penny out and returned to greet Narcissa formally.
He kissed her cheek and ushered her to sit again. "Tea?"
"That would be lovely, Sirius." Narcissa said, rearranging the skirts of her ice-blue velvet robes. They were trimmed with some white fur that probably wasn't fake and diamonds glittered at her earlobes and wrist. Her blonde hair was free around her shoulders, falling in a silken waterfall. She looked as beautiful as an ice sculpture and about as approachable.
Dobby set the tea and a plate of homemade shortbread on the table. Narcissa smiled at him tightly. "Thank you, Dobby. They're my favourite."
Dobby gave a cautious nod and popped away. Sirius remembered belatedly that he had once been the Malfoys' elf.
Narcissa played Mum, pouring their drinks with elegant grace before she subsided into her chair and picked up the delicate china cup.
Sirius regarded her thoughtfully. "Why the meeting, Cissy?"
Her blue-grey eyes flashed at him for the nickname. "I wish to inform you as my Head of House that I am with child." She couldn't help her lips curling up at the edges into a sweet awestruck smile or the softening of her expression.
"That's wonderful news!" Sirius said sincerely. He placed his cup aside and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Congratulations, Cousin."
"Thank you." Narcissa said, allowing the smile to form properly. "I'm very happy."
"And Lucius?" Sirius asked politely, picking up his cup again.
"He agreed to the attempt but I haven't informed him yet." Narcissa explained. "Protocol…"
Protocol was for her to have told her Head of House first and Sirius held primacy.
He winced visibly. "I'm sorry. You could have told him first. I wouldn't have minded."
"I would have." Narcissa said simply. She gazed at him with something that looked like amusement. "You've restored honour and status to the House of Black, Sirius. I'm proud to be a daughter of the House and I am deeply satisfied to have you as Lord Black. It was no hardship to tell you first before my husband who agreed to give me this child as a way of keeping me biddable."
Sirius wondered if he should feel as pleased as he did at her praise for his performance as Lord Black before he focused on her comment about Malfoy. "I thought things were fine between you two?"
"They are." Narcissa said firmly. "But our dynamic has changed and Lucius prefers to believe that within our home he holds primacy. He knew I wanted another child and hopes that by giving me one, I'll continue to support him with you; that I won't push to shift from my position as the woman behind the politician to being the politician when we host his alliance."
Sirius sighed and drank his tea rather than say something he'd regret.
"But for all that, he's a good father," Narcissa continued, "and he's an acceptable husband. He doesn't beat me or mistreat me. His dalliances have been discreet and never within our home. He doesn't love me but neither do I love him."
What had he been thinking about romance and love, Sirius mused darkly.
"You deserve better, Cissy." Sirius said softly.
"I have my children, a beautiful home and a husband that appreciates me." Narcissa lifted one shoulder in a graceful shrug. "It is more than I hoped for when Father told me there would be an arranged marriage."
"If you ever change your mind…" Sirius said lightly.
"You need Lucius at present, Sirius." Narcissa commented dryly. "He's your only check on Wenlock where the pureblood Houses are concerned." She didn't mention Lucius's value as a link with Voldemort and the former Death Eaters.
"True." Sirius demurred. "But circumstances change and if they do change in the future and you want out, you should let me know." He held up a hand to prevent her from arguing the point. "Let's talk of the child. How far along are you?"
"I'm due at the beginning of July." Narcissa said, brightening. "She's a girl."
"You said Lucius agreed to the attempt so presumably he'll be pleased with your pregnancy?" Sirius asked. "What about Draco?"
"We discussed the prospect of another child with Draco and he agreed." Narcissa's lips twisted. "However, he may have some difficulty adjusting to the reality of his no longer being an only child."
"How do you want to do the announcement?" Sirius said.
"I'll inform Lucius tonight." Narcissa said. "I thought he and I could speak to Draco before tomorrow's family dinner and it could be announced to the family then?" She paused. "I would like your advice on a formal announcement…"
"Lucius will want to do it regardless of primacy, I assume." Sirius shrugged. "I'll work it out with him." His eyes narrowed as he considered the increased risk to Narcissa from her pregnancy. "You may become a target for Voldemort. He kidnapped two pregnant pureblood women for this ritual we think he's going to do. You're not impregnated by a muggle but…"
"He may see me as an acceptable substitute as I am the vassal of a Marked servant of his?" Narcissa's hand grazed over her belly protectively.
"Kreacher!" Sirius called for the Black elf who arrived promptly.
"Lord Black." Kreacher's ears waggled.
"Narcissa carries a child of the House of Black." Sirius said. "Your primary duty, excepting any other order from me or my Heir, is from this day forward to protect and serve her until she has the child."
Kreacher bowed low to Sirius and then to Narcissa. "I bes honoured, Mistress Narcissy."
"Thank you, Kreacher." Narcissa said.
"Appoint another elf to look after Black Manor and the School House." Sirius ordered and dismissed Kreacher.
"Thank you, Sirius." Narcissa said. "I will admit that I am comforted by the additional protection."
Sirius nodded. "Kreacher's fanatical about the House. He'll take care of you." He drank down the rest of his tea. "So a girl. Any idea about names?"
"I was thinking of either Dorea or Regina as possible names."
"Regulus would have gotten a kick out Regina." Sirius said thinking of his younger brother with regret.
Narcissa nodded. "I think so too." She sipped her tea. "He tried to warn me, you know. The last time I spoke to him, he told me I should take Draco and move to Mother's relatives in France; that the Dark Lord was not the promise he purported to be and Lucius would be lucky to escape with his life." She pressed her lips together. "I didn't listen to him."
Sirius had no idea what to say. Grief at losing Regulus stirred again. "I wish he'd come to me." He said quietly. "Before he'd ran off and tried to take on bringing down Voldemort on his own."
"He would have wanted a position of strength when he did come to you, Sirius." Narcissa said evenly. "It would have been important to him."
Sirius nodded. That sounded like Regulus. Sounded like himself. Sounded like every Black he'd ever known.
He poured himself another tea and topped up Narcissa. "Did you ever meet Bartemius Crouch Junior?"
"Once," Narcissa said, spooning sugar into her freshened cup, "Bella brought him round for lunch soon after he was Marked. I was sworn to secrecy as no-one was supposed to know outside of the LeStranges."
"What did you make of him?" Sirius asked interested to know the answer given Narcissa's sharp observational skills.
Narcissa took a sip of her tea. "He had taken the Mark out of love for Rabastan and for no other reason. He was not politically minded. He was…uncommitted on the issues whereas Bella…"
"Always had strong opinions." Sirius supplied when Narcissa considered her words.
"Yes," Narcissa agreed softly, "and therefore I turned the conversation to other things and there…he was an intelligent and articulate wizard with interesting theories about charms and potions. His magical ability was downplayed but the depth of his knowledge indicated practical application, yet he was charming and I didn't call him on it."
"So no hint that he'd turn into a raving madman?" commented Sirius idly, contemplating a charming, witty Crouch taking lunch with Sirius's cousins.
"Only when the subject of his parents was raised."
Sirius's head snapped up and he stared at her, silently requesting more of an explanation.
She smoothed a hand over her skirt. "He was…adoring of his mother. Bella teased him that he was a Mummy's boy but it was more than that. He spoke of her in almost reverential tones." She sighed. "His father was the complete opposite reaction; angry terse comments. You could tell that he wouldn't have thought twice about killing him even then."
"Problems in his childhood?" theorised Sirius out loud. "Stern father, sympathetic mother?"
"More damaged than that, I fear." Narcissa murmured speculatively. "His parents were quite the couple in society terms before their son was imprisoned. She was beautiful and quiet; an adornment for her husband's authoritative leader demeanour. But for me there was always the sense that something was rotten underneath the surface and their son…he was the embodiment of that picture; surface perfection and yet underneath, hostility and resentment and ruthless cruelty all bubbling away in a soup that would boil over eventually." She paused as though she had surprised herself.
"So basically he was nuts even back then." Sirius concluded, mulling over her comments in his head.
Narcissa shot him a warning look. "Damaged." She corrected sharply. "Possibly his mother giving her life to obtain his freedom coupled with his father's imprisonment of him destroyed whatever sanity he might have had left."
Not to mention Sirius killing his lover.
She didn't say it but she didn't have to, Sirius thought wearily.
"Why the question?" asked Narcissa.
"There's some increased concern that I'm a specific target of his." Sirius said.
Narcissa's eyes narrowed. "Through Severus, I presume? I assume you know he's attempted communication with the Dark Lord? Avery couldn't wait to tell everyone."
"At my request although Lucius isn't to be told of Snape's exact loyalties." Sirius said mildly. He figured Cissy liked Severus enough not to put him in danger but his words made sure of it given the vows she had taken.
"I understand." Narcissa said after a moment. "And I assume Severus has concluded much the same as I in regards to Crouch?"
"If you're talking about the completely nuts, you'd be right." Sirius said brightly.
There was a chime that sounded through the rooms and Narcissa set down her cup, understanding it signalled the end of the school day.
"I should be getting home." She stood and Sirius did the same, kissing her cheek before she curtsied to him.
"Take care of yourself, you and the baby, Cissy." Sirius said.
She inclined her head and left.
Sirius sat down to wait on Harry's arrival. While Harry's punishment had effectively ended with his weekend grounding, and Harry hadn't seem unduly moody in the aftermath at all, Sirius couldn't help the churning gut of unease that disciplining Harry always left him with. He knew Harry knew Sirius loved him; he was certain Harry loved him back. But punishing Harry always made Sirius feel as though their relationship was off kilter somehow and he very much wanted everything back to normal.
It didn't take long before Harry walked in the door and Sirius was unsurprised when Ron, Hermione and Neville followed him – all of them talking over each other, babbling about the last lesson of the day and their History of Magic homework.
Harry waved at Sirius as they took seats at the dining table, pulling out books and parchment. Sirius got up and went over.
"Good day?" He said, placing his hands on the back of Harry's chair.
"Tons of homework." Harry replied, motioning at the school work littered across the table.
"Tons." Ron parroted morosely.
"Which is why we should start it now." Hermione said briskly, rearranging her own space into a tidy area of stacked books, inkpot, parchment and quills.
Neville nodded. "She's right though. If we can get the History of Magic essay done tonight we have all weekend to spend on the Herbology project."
"You just want to spend the weekend on the Herbology project, mate." Ron retorted.
"Not denying it." Neville said cheerfully.
Harry chuckled.
Hermione rolled her eyes expressively. "Let's just get on with it."
"I'll get Dobby to bring you some snacks." Sirius said. He ruffled Harry's hair and got a fondly exasperated look in return.
Sirius headed for his study and his own stack of work. He glanced back at the dining table and saw the kids all immersed in their study, quite happily ignoring him. Well, he'd wanted everything back to normal, Sirius thought wryly.
o-O-o
19 th December 1994
Harry gazed intently at Hedwig on the perch beside him.
She returned his look with an amber glance of reassurance. She spread her wings in a wide arc, bent her legs visibly so he would see the bend and then the release as she launched herself into the air. He watched as she adjusted the angle of her wings as she glided to the second perch across the room; watched as she banked her wings, stuck her legs out and landed, braking with her wing movements gracefully. A moment later, she returned to his side and he watched the landing up close.
It was his turn.
He took as much of a deep breath as he could in his raven form. He spread his wings, bent his legs and…
He was aloft!
He was so giddy at the rush of flight that he almost forgot what he was doing – the landing perch suddenly a lot closer than it had been a moment before. Hurriedly, he stuck his legs out, and banked his wings.
It wasn't a good landing; he teetered on the perch for a long minute, flapping his wings wildly and gripping like mad with his claws, before he regained his balance and settled, his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage.
Minerva clapped from where she stood with Sirius observing at the side of the training room. "Well done, Harry. Now back again, please."
Harry took another deep breath and tried to calm his heartbeat. He just needed to nail the landing which meant not getting so enthralled with the flying. He launched himself back across the room, focused his gaze on the perch and…
He managed to land without overbalancing but he still needed to flap his wings madly to stop himself.
Hedwig nuzzled his neck and gave him an approving hoot. She arched her wings, launched, flew once around the room and landed on the perch again.
Lesson two, Harry thought with unbounded delight. He launched into the air.
Ten minutes later, Minerva brought the lesson to a halt.
"Time to change back, Harry."
Harry grumbled with a disgruntled caw – he loved flying – but his wing muscles were achy and he had almost overshot the landing again on his last flight. He launched off the perch and onto the chair Minerva brought over before making the change to his human form. Minerva had insisted that he wouldn't have the flying lessons until he could make the change between his forms seamless.
Still, he checked everything was back to normal as Minerva beamed at him proudly and Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder.
"How do you feel?" Sirius asked, his hand rubbing Harry's shoulder as though he already knew it was sore.
"Like I've just played a few hours of Quidditch." Harry admitted ruefully, rubbing at his wrists. He felt drained. His shoulders felt pained and his arms hurt.
"A hot shower." Minerva advised. "We use different muscles when we operate in our animal form and it can take a while for those muscles to build up stamina and strength." She smiled at him. "But I'm very pleased. You did very well and I'm sure your flying teacher would agree."
Hedwig shifted position on the perch and dipped her head in a parody of a nod.
"I suggest you change and fly every night until you can manage a half an hour comfortably without too much ache in your human muscles afterwards." Minerva said authoritatively.
Harry had just enough energy left for a grin. "I can do that!"
Sirius sighed but his eyes were twinkling. "I guess we can add it into your schedule." He nudged Harry off the chair. "Go, get your shower."
Minerva smiled at him. "I'll see you tomorrow in class, Harry."
Harry escaped the training room, Hedwig following him up the stairs. She made for her perch in his bedroom. He locked himself in the bathroom and stood for an age under a barrage of hot water until he figured his muscles had relaxed enough to be able to get out of the shower. Back in the bedroom, he pulled on some sweats, wincing as his muscles protested. Maybe he shouldn't have demanded one last flight, Harry thought grumpily.
A soft knock dragged him out of his pity party.
It was probably Padfoot checking on him before dragging him down to dinner. He blushed a little remembering the stern talking-to he'd endured over sneaking out. He had kind of deserved it but it had still stung. The two days of grounding had been much more bearable than seeing the look of disappointment in Padfoot's eyes.
"Come in." Harry called.
It was a surprise to see Ron poke his head around the door. "Sirius said I should come up. You decent, mate?"
"Yeah!" Harry waved him inside. "What are you doing here?"
Ron slumped into the chair by the window with a hefty sigh. "Did you know that Lavender's going to the Ball with Dean?"
Harry winced. "Nope. Sorry, Ron." He hated seeing Ron's morose expression but, on the other hand, it wasn't like Hermione and he hadn't tried encouraging Ron over the past weeks to ask her out sooner rather than later.
"I asked her in front of the whole Common Room." Ron blurted out suddenly.
Bugger, Harry surmised with a sinking heart.
"And Dean was properly hacked off me with. Which you know if I'd known I wouldn't have…" Ron flapped his hands expressively and lifted his gaze to the ceiling. His cheeks were almost as red as his hair.
"He didn't hit you or anything?" Harry asked, concerned.
"Nope, just glared at me the whole time as she told me." Ron sighed heavily again. "I couldn't stay in the Common Room. Neville's on a date with Hannah and Hermione's out bug searching with Luna again. Is it OK if I have dinner here?"
"OK with me." Harry said. He quickly called Dobby and asked him to check with Sirius and if Sirius was fine with Ron staying to send word to Minerva.
"Thanks, mate." Ron said, relief written across every freckle. He fidgeted for a long moment. "I think I'm going to go home for Yule."
Harry's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened in shock. "Why?"
Ron looked away from him. "Well, I just think…my Dad got hurt and there's Percy, I probably should apologise in person. Ginny's not talking to me because of the whole thing with Michael and…" he sighed, "it's not like I have anyone to go to the Ball with so…" he shrugged as though unconcerned but Harry knew it was the complete opposite.
"Ron, there are plenty of people without dates." Harry assumed there were plenty of people without dates anyway.
"Nobody from our year in Gryffindor or in the other Houses. Parvati's going with Blaise," Ron ticked off one finger, "Sally is going with Ernie, Lisa is going with some sixth year bloke and even Draco's nabbed that Selwyn girl despite his 'woe is me I'm no longer the only child' misery…there's no-one left to go with me."
"There's bound to be someone." Harry pointed out, although he wasn't entirely certain Ron's information wasn't right.
Ron crossed his arms over his chest, pulling his uniform robes askew. "The only one I know is Eloise Midgen and I am not going with her."
And she probably wouldn't want to go with Ron if she knew she was a last resort, thought Harry. Or maybe she would in preference to going alone. He really had no clue where girls were concerned.
Dobby popped in and announced dinner. Harry dragged Ron to wash his hands before they made their way downstairs and they sat down at the table where Sirius was waiting.
"You alright there, Ron?" Sirius asked as the food – steak pie and chips with a side of mixed vegetables – appeared.
"I'm just a disaster with girls." Ron half mumbled before pushing an overly ambitious forkful of food into his mouth.
Sirius nodded sagely. "Most men are."
Ron chewed quickly and swallowed, looking a tad more relieved. "Yeah?"
"Absolutely." Sirius said scooping some pie crust. "Look at Remus. He approached a girl the other week and it turned out she preferred the fairer sex herself."
"Wow." Ron blinked. "That's…wow."
"So, not an unusual thing for a man to make a fool of himself over a woman." Sirius continued. "James tripped over himself with Lily a million times before she actually consented to give him the time of day."
"Right." Ron's shoulders straightened a bit and Harry shot Sirius a grateful smile for cheering up his best friend.
"So has this one had a chance to tell you about his first flight as a raven?" Sirius asked, winking at Harry.
Harry brightened and immediately began to tell a rapt Ron about his animagus lesson. He grimaced as he finished explaining and rolled his shoulders experimentally.
"I am going to have to practice because it is a bit painful." Harry said cheerfully. "You'll have to do the same when you master your form."
Ron gestured with his loaded fork. "Rather you than me with the whole flying thing, mate." He said. "'Sides, I don't think I have to worry about all that stuff for a while. I can only transform a toe of my dog form."
It had surprised everyone that Ron had found his form before Hermione who still struggled to maintain the meditation long enough to make sense of any vision of her potential forms. Ron had simply fallen into a meditative snooze one lesson and woken up with the surety that he was a dog. He had been slightly grumpy about not being a lion but he liked the idea of how useful a form being a dog was and had embraced his lessons.
"I only had a paw for about two months." Sirius commiserated. "Eventually, I managed to get the whole leg and then that was it. James could do everything separately but couldn't put it together for a while and one day; boom! It all came together. Bloody scared the life out of the rest of us."
Ron nodded. "I'll keep working at it." His gaze held a wealth of promise; a loyalty that Harry knew resonated in the symbolism of his chosen form.
The plates were scraped clean just as the door chimed.
Sirius motioned for them to carry on with dessert as he went to answer the door. Luna and Hermione were ushered inside and took seats at the dining table with Sirius's invitation, Hermione sliding into the empty seat beside Harry, Luna taking the one next to Ron.
Harry blinked at the bizarre butterfly clip that was attached to Luna's hair and focused on his dessert.
"Dobby," Sirius said dryly, "I'm going to take my dessert in my study. You kids enjoy yourselves." He wandered off leaving Harry alone with his friends.
Harry felt a pang of guilt that they'd somehow forced him from the room before his attention was snagged by Ron.
"I guess you heard what happened." Ron said sheepishly, poking at the peach and plum cobbler he'd drowned in custard.
Hermione nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Ron. If I'd been there, I would have warned you. Lavender told me this morning but I haven't had a chance to tell you."
"It's alright." Ron sighed heavily. "I made a prat of myself and Dean's not happy with me."
"Dean said to say he figured nobody had told you when you looked so mortified and he's, and I quote 'cool with the whole thing.'" Hermione shook her head at Dobby's offer of cobbler. "Lavender's pretty gutted, I think. She really wanted to go with you but there's only a week to go and well…Dean asked her since Parvati who he wanted to go with agreed to go with Blaise."
Harry shook his head. When had Hogwarts turned into such a soap opera, he mused grumpily. It was like that awful Australian soap his Aunt Petunia had watched where the kids kept swapping girlfriends and boyfriends and getting married and falling pregnant – not necessarily in that order. It was all the fault of the Ball, he determined.
Ron nodded at Hermione, downcast.
Harry and Hermione exchanged a mutual helpless 'what do we do now?' look.
Suddenly, Ron's head shot up and his eyes went to Luna, wide with hope and realisation. "Luna, you're a girl!"
Luna smiled serenely at Ron. "Yes, Ronald. I will go to the Ball with you."
Ron's smile lit up the room. "Really?"
Hermione frowned heavily at him. "Ron, that's a terrible way to ask someone if they want to go to a Ball with you. It makes it sound like you only asked Luna because Luna's a girl."
Ron squirmed under her disapproving gaze but Harry sympathised with Ron. It wasn't easy asking someone to a Ball.
Luna shrugged. "I don't mind, Hermione. I'd like to go to the Ball and it will be nice to go with a friend even if I'm only a last minute choice."
Ron shot her a pleased look. "Thank you, Luna." He smiled at her warmly. "And even though the way I asked was pants, I promise you won't regret it."
Luna smiled sweetly at him.
Ron smiled goofily back at her.
Uh-oh, thought Harry and cast about desperately for a change in subject. "Bug! You guys were out bug searching! Did you find the bug?"
Luna's silver eyes sparkled as though she'd guessed why he'd asked and was very amused. "Not yet but we think that the bug and the press people may be related."
"The one time I've seen the bug was the evening the press corp were visiting Hogwarts for the Yule Ball press conference thing you and the other Champions did." Hermione said, a gleam in her eyes.
Harry winced. That had been excruciating.
"When I went over the times Luna's seen the bug, she's also only noticed it on days the press is around." Hermione tapped her fingers against the table top restlessly. "There has to be a correlation."
"It is a surprising relationship." Luna said breezily. "We're going to be prepared for the next time the press is around."
"That'll be the Yule Ball." Harry pointed out because he really didn't want Hermione distracted by a hunt for a bug when they were at the Ball.
Hermione frowned, understanding without him saying anything. "Well, we can keep an eye out while we have fun, and maybe plan a proper trap for the time after that."
Luna nodded, her blonde hair swinging and her butterfly clip flapped wildly on the side of her head. "It's so exciting discovering a new species!"
And as talk turned to the bug, Harry let out a small sigh of relief that Ron's Ball woes were over. He slipped his hand into Hermione's and for the first time began looking forward to it.
"Merlin!" Hermione said suddenly. "I'd better get back to the dorm! I promised Neville I'd review his Herbology project report." She kissed Harry's cheek as she eased out of her seat and Harry felt the usual surge of fluttering delight that accompanied their kissing.
"Hmmm." Luna said, getting up. "I should go and finish my charms essay…"
"And I'd best get back and do my apologies." Ron said grimly. He shook himself and smiled shyly at Luna. "Shall I walk you back to Ravenclaw?"
"Thank you, Ronald." Luna said.
As the girls made their way to the door, Ron hung back with Harry.
"Thanks, mate." Ron said sincerely.
"Any time." Harry said back.
Ron nodded, cast a look to check on whether the girls were far enough away and leaned in with an anxious face. "Merlin, Harry! Dancing! What do I do about dancing?!" He hissed.
And so much for the end of Ron's Ball woes, Harry thought amused, dragging a hand through his dark hair even as he made comforting noises about practice to his best friend before shooing him out of the door.
o-O-o
24 th December 1994
It was a miserable day.
Sirius glared out of the window of his study. Rain fell relentlessly out of the sky washing everything grey. The sky was opaque; filled with cloud and blocking out the weak Winter sun. He didn't need to set foot out of the door to know there was a freezing wind since all the trees in view were bent under its force; the few students traversing the outside huddling into their clothes and each other for warmth and protection.
School had officially ended the day before with the first and second years, along with those students in the upper years who didn't have a date for the Yule Ball or who didn't want to attend, shipped home to their parents and guardians. There'd been an increased Auror presence at Hogsmeade and King's Cross – Amelia wasn't taking any chances. But everything had gone to plan; the home-bound students were safely home and Hogwarts was half-empty. The rattling and echoing hallways and corridors suited the eeriness of the day.
He shook away his mood in a move that was reminiscent of Padfoot shaking off water. He strolled back into the living area and found Remus reading the paper on the sofa. Moony looked well-rested. The full moon had passed without incident, Clara had begun work as Remus's assistant, and Remus had appointed Patrick as his beta back at the farm. Sirius felt a spark of satisfaction that Remus looked – if not happy – contented.
The fire was crackling merrily away; four stockings hung above it named 'Pronglet,' 'Padfoot,' 'Moony,' 'Minnie' and 'Dobby.' The rest of the room was similarly decked out for Christmas; swathes of gold and red tinsel with a real tree tucked into the corner, full of the traditional Potter Christmas ornaments that had been rescued from the cottage at Godric's Hollow.
They'd only done the tree the night before at the family dinner and it had been a wonderful evening even with the Malfoys present; eggnog and good food, all of them decorating the tree. There was the lingering scent of a cranberry candle; chestnuts and mulled wine. Sirius had told stories about the ornaments he remembered, Narcissa had supplied a couple of others when she noticed a few that must have come from the Black side of the family, and Harry had listened to everything with wide-eyed eagerness at learning more of his history, his heritage.
It was Harry's heritage and history that was the plan for the day; a visit to the Potter vaults and Godric's Hollow, the cemetery…
Sirius swallowed hard and breathed deeply, searching for the calm and strength he knew he would need to get through the day and be there for Harry, for Pronglet, for his son.
"We don't have to do this today." Remus commented, not raising his eyes from his newspaper.
"Harry asked to do this today." Sirius retorted, folding his arms over his heavy cable-knit black jumper.
"And Harry would understand if you want to delay." Remus did look up as he argued. "If you're not ready…"
"I'm ready." Sirius stated firmly.
Remus stared at him and Sirius caved under the concerned warmth of Remus's gaze.
"Just…I have been back to the cottage but not inside and I'm a little worried about freaking out and scaring Harry." Sirius confessed, talking quickly because he didn't think he would be able to say it otherwise.
"I think you'll be far too concerned about Harry and being there for him for any freaking out, Sirius." Remus said quietly. His head lifted as he heard movement above them. "That'll be him now." He stood up and brushed down his clothing; a black v-neck jumper over a plain grey shirt, with black corduroy trousers.
Sirius grimaced at the expanse of black but he'd gone for the same; black jumper teamed with black denim jeans.
And Harry was decked out the same when he came down the stairs; black jeans but a dark green jumper. His hair was its usual mess and the green eyes behind his gold frames were dark with trepidation.
"Ready?" asked Sirius, dredging up a smile from somewhere.
Harry nodded jerkily.
"If you want to change your mind about doing this today, you can." Sirius reassured him. "Neither Remus nor I will mind."
Harry sighed and pushed his hands into his jeans' pockets, rocking back slightly. "I need another wand." He said stubbornly. "And we're all agreed that since it's illegal to buy another wand – which I don't really get why it's illegal to buy another wand just for the record – that my ancestors' wands are likely to be the best match for me."
Sirius sighed. "I would argue that I don't make the laws but I kind of do but I can argue that I didn't make that particular law and…"
"It's to do with the limited supplies of wand cores." Remus explained, breaking into Sirius's ramble. "Fifty years ago, the Wizengamot and most other countries determined an embargo on buying more than one wand. Replacement wands in the event of loss or breakage were fine but not buying two wands at the same time. It's not actually illegal to carry two wands just to buy two wands…and I don't know why I'm telling you this." He trailed off at the bemused glazed expressions on Sirius's and Harry's faces.
Harry patted his arm. "I guess I understand why it's illegal now?" He frowned at Remus. "Are you sure you're OK with leaving Sian alone for the day?"
"Tonks is with her." Remus said dismissively. "I actually think Tonks has moved in." He admitted, a confused look darting over his features for a long moment.
"It's all part of her dastardly plan to get you into bed now Clara's turned out to like women more than you." Sirius commented.
Remus's hands clapped over Harry's ears. "No talking about me and Tonks in front of Harry, please!"
Harry rolled his eyes at Sirius, mischief and amusement all over his face as he batted Remus away from his ears. "Hermione thinks she's just protecting her territory and making sure Sian doesn't make a move on you since Tonks wants you herself."
Remus went bright red. "Hermione…" he repeated faintly. He turned around and glared at Sirius. "Who else have you told?"
"Nobody." Sirius said hurriedly.
His friend searched Sirius's innocent expression and started to turn away.
"Just Andy." Sirius said brightly, watching with amusement as Remus went stiff as a board. "And she's probably told Ted. Maybe, possibly, most definitely I also told Simeon when I was chatting to him the other night but that's everybody I swear."
Harry chuckled and tried to turn his chuckle into a cough when Remus glared at him.
"There will be retribution." Remus stated calmly, straightening his shoulders. "And it will be mine."
Sirius felt a tiny frisson of alarm shiver through him because Moony was never to be underestimated. "Right!" He clapped his hands. "Coats!"
He grimaced once they had pulled on outerwear because they were all in black and it very much looked like they were off to a funeral. He sighed and led the way out of Hogwarts so they could apparate directly in front of Gringotts. Sirius side-alonged with Harry; he'd taught Harry how to apparate but only over short distances.
Remus split with them once they entered Gringotts as he had business with Kipbold. Sirius and Harry took the cart down to the Potter vault, the goblin assigned to guide them there actually giving them a smooth ride. It backed up the view from Dirk and Cornelius that the goblins were pleased with the steps that the Wizengamot had taken to review the laws around magical creatures and races.
Harry stepped out and placed his hand on the Potter vault door. It swung open and Sirius followed Harry inside. The last time they'd visited after Harry's inheritance ceremony there had been no time to properly explore. Harry had dived for James's old school trunk and that had been about it.
As Harry wandered further inside, Sirius's gaze wandered around the cavernous vault; money was set to the right in large heaps; gold galleons piled on top of one another as far as the eye could see; knuts buried beneath so it was gold as far as the eye could see.
The left was storage space; furniture and trunks and old sleeping portraits, mostly landscape, that had wound up in the vault instead of a Potter property. Most of it was stacked haphazardly with no organisation except for the section at the front that Remus had overseen where the trunks from Godric's Hollow were placed in order of rooms and items.
Harry had bypassed them, wandering through until he stood in front of a shelving unit filled with odd ornaments and items. Sirius's eyes skated over the trunks from the cottage once last time and went to join Harry. He was almost beside him when Harry reached out and plucked a box from the shelf in front of him.
It wasn't an ornate box; just a simple wooden lockbox. But it had Sirius's heart pounding when Harry pulled it closer to examine it.
"Harry, what are you doing with that?" Sirius hated the sharpness of his tone and wasn't surprised when Harry's gaze snapped to him with guilty innocence.
"I, uh…it just…called to me?" Harry raised the box to show it to Sirius. "What is it?"
"Well, the box is just a box but inside the box…" Sirius resisted the urge to tap it, "is the Resurrection stone."
"The other Hallow?" Harry quickly stuffed the box back on the shelf and pushed his glasses up his nose. "It is creepy that it called to me like the wand? My cloak doesn't do that."
It was a good point.
"I'm prepared to go with creepy." Sirius admitted. "There's nothing in the story that said the Hallows could call to the Peverell they'd been given to but then we know the story is really just that: a story. We really don't know enough about their true properties beyond the obvious." He needed to have Richard or Augusta go back out to Paris and push Fevrier. He didn't want to do it himself because that would mean leaving Harry alone.
"Maybe because the cloak is the Hallow of your actual ancestor and you embraced it from the start it doesn't call to you?" Sirius theorised out loud. "It doesn't need to call to you. You're resisting the stone and the wand, and even if it was the family magic that created them, they're once removed in familial terms."
Harry bit his lip. "I guess."
Sirius shrugged and smiled. "Remus will have another theory if you don't like that one. Now," he said redirecting the conversation, "we are supposed to be looking at wands." He pointed towards a small trunk labelled 'Wands' that they'd seen on their last visit with unerring accuracy.
They opened the trunk together and looked at the arrangement of wands with surprise. The trunk was a specialist model, Sirius realised. Small trays neatly labelled with each generation, and as Harry pulled out the uppermost tray, neat rows of leather loops held each wand separately with a label underneath denoting whose wand it was.
Harry reverentially ran his fingers lightly over his father's and mother's. Remus must have arranged for them to have been removed from the Godric's Hollow trunks and stored correctly.
Sirius felt a hard lump in his throat form; a weird mix of pain that Harry had never had the opportunity to know such wonderful people, that they had never had the opportunity to know him, and jealousy that as much as he was Harry's father, in one important respect he wasn't.
He pushed the thoughts away angrily – he was there as moral support for Harry – and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "There are two possible ways to do this; one, you work your way up your family tree testing each one to see if it works for you, and start with theirs…"
"Or?" prompted Harry, gruffly.
"Or see which ones resonate with you by passing your hand over the tray and only test the ones that give you tingles." Sirius completed.
Harry looked at him fully with askance. "Tingles?"
"It's a technical term." Sirius defended his description briskly. "Either way while Gringotts do allow a wizard to use their magic within their own vault, they do get antsy if they detect a lot of magic since they do have the whole no wizard magic rule within the bank itself. So…"
He saw Harry draw in a long breath and breathe out again as he considered his options; weighed the prospect of using his parents' wands against the need to find the wand that worked for him quickly.
"Option two then?" Harry murmured.
Sirius acknowledged his choice with a tilt of his head.
Harry spread out his hand and moved it slowly across the tray. He sighed and shook his head.
"No tingles?" teased Sirius gently, hoping to alleviate the disappointment he saw glistening in Harry's eyes.
Harry smiled at him lightning fast and moved onto the next tray.
And the next.
And the next.
They were on the last tray, and Sirius was getting very worried they were going to have to bribe Ollivander into making them a second wand and giving it to Harry in some way to get around the illegality of it, when Harry's hand paused over a wand.
Sirius glanced at the name. Ignotus Peverell.
Merlin. Well, not Merlin but it was close enough.
"That one?" Sirius asked, proud that his voice came out calmly enough.
Harry slid it out of the loop and closed his eyes briefly as the wand fitted into his hand. Holly, Sirius realised, recognising the wood. He watched amazed as Harry swished the wand and lifted the trunk, levitating it without any problems. He lowered it and straightened his shoulders.
"Expecto Patronum!" Harry said clearly.
Prongs clattered out of the wand in a stream of silver light. He snorted as he looked around for the threat and saw none. He trotted over to Harry and nudged his shoulder.
"I know," Harry said, "I've been calling you when there's nothing around but I have to practice."
Prongs seemed to agree with that, carefully nuzzling into Harry's chest and accepting the petting of his creator with apparent relish.
Sirius ached to touch the stag but he held back. It wasn't really James, he reminded himself, any more than his patronus was his alter ego, Padfoot. Sirius's eyes slid to the innocuous box that Harry had picked up before and shook away the temptation. The box had been locked by Albus at Bertie's request – and Sirius had since realised Albus had locked it using the Elder wand. He doubted that any wizard excepting Harry had the power to unlock it.
Harry patted the stag's nose gently one last time and dismissed it. It disappeared in a whirl of light. He examined the wand with a frown. "It's colder than my wand."
"Colder?" questioned Sirius.
"When I use magic with my wand, it's warm." Harry shrugged. "I wonder what the core of this wand is?"
"We could take it to Ollivander." Sirius suggested. "He'd be able to tell us, I would think."
Harry shuddered minutely. "But not today?"
"But not today." Sirius agreed. He examined Harry's pale face with concern. "Are you sure you want to visit Godric's Hollow today? We can go another time."
"I'm sure. It just feels like something I have to do." Harry said softly. "I mean, I don't…I've never been to their graves and I want to know where we lived and…everything really."
Sirius nodded in understanding. So much had been kept from Harry before he'd taken guardianship that he could understand Harry's need for the knowledge; to see for himself where he had lived with his parents, where they were buried. But Sirius also believed that Bill had been right to warn them against returning and facing the scars writ large in the shape of a cottage that had once been a home; in headstones that took the place of living breathing loved ones.
Harry slid the tray door shut and closed the trunk before sliding his second wand into the deep inner pocket of his coat. He glanced himself towards the Resurrection stone box before turning away again and making for the door of the vault. Sirius fell into step beside him.
Remus was waiting for them as soon as they got out of the carts.
"I've arranged for us to portkey from a Gringotts transportation room." Remus explained, holding up a wooden key. "Word got round that we were here and…well, something of a crowd's gathered at the front of the bank. Gringotts won't let them in as they don't have business with the bank but…I don't think we want to fight our way through and try to apparate."
"Good idea." Sirius said, placing an arm around Harry's shoulders protectively. "Lead the way." Even as they crossed the main floor of the bank, the babbling chatter fell to a hushed rush of whispers as wizards and witches turned to peer and stare at them, specifically Harry.
Sirius wanted to glare back at them but he knew most of the attention wasn't malicious but simple curiosity since Harry had been hidden away at Hogwarts for a few months.
"Good luck with the tournament, son!" shouted one old wizard, brandishing his cane. "You go and win it!"
"Yeah!" Another witch called out. "You win it, Harry!"
A smattering of applause started, growing in strength until most were clapping, whistles and cheers echoing through the large hall. Sirius noted the few holdouts – an older witch with a face like a dried-up old prune pretending nothing was happening, a glowering rotund man with a purple face, and a couple of youngsters who sneered at the display as obviously uncool.
Harry slowed their progress to a halt as he stopped to acknowledge the outpouring of support with a wave and a shy grin. "Thank you!" He said loudly. "I need all the luck and good wishes I can get!"
There was a delighted outbreak of laughter at Harry's words. Sirius smiled sharply at the crowd, tightened his grip on Harry and nudged him along. They were too exposed. Thankfully, Remus must have felt the same because he slipped into position between Harry and the crowd, providing a shield on the other side of him.
The transportation room was a blessed sight. Sirius was pleased when the goblin guard shut the door behind them and they were safely inside.
Remus held out the key and they all gripped it. Sirius kept an arm around Harry who still had problems keeping his feet during a portkey. Remus muttered the trigger word and Sirius felt the pull behind his navel. He bent his legs and landed heavily, only just managing to keep Harry upright; Remus staggered and only just managed to keep his balance.
"Well," Remus said brushing down his black woollen jacket, "that wasn't one of my better landings."
"Mine either." Sirius admitted.
Harry shrugged. "I never have a good landing but I didn't fall on my face this time."
Sirius grinned at him. "It's an improvement."
Harry was about to respond but his gaze was snagged by a tree swaying to his right. It drew his attention to the cottage – to the ruin of the cottage. "Is this…"
"Yes." Sirius managed to get the word out. He breathed in deeply and shifted to look fully at the house the way he'd done the night he'd escaped Hogwarts. He moved to stand behind Harry who was staring at the cottage, drinking it in. He placed his hands lightly on Harry's shoulders. "It's a bit rundown now but you should have seen in its prime."
"It was a wonderfully cosy and welcoming home." Remus supplied gently.
Sirius pointed at the front of the house. "Your Mum planted those window boxes. They were full of herbs and flowers she used in her household potions."
"The front garden was filled with honeysuckle and lavender." Remus added. "You can't tell now but in the Summer the scent of it filled the house."
"The knocker was a present from your Granddad when they moved in, well, really the whole house was a present but he got the griffin knocker especially because Lily loved the griffin knocker at Potter House." Sirius picked up the reminiscing as though he and Remus had practiced.
"Is that why we have the griffin knocker at home?" Harry asked.
"Yes," Sirius confirmed softly, "it is." And there was so many things they still had to tell him about Lily and James, Sirius mused; so many little things that were forgotten and only remembered in remembering.
Harry tensed under his hands. "Can we go inside?"
"Structurally, it's a mess." Remus warned. "You'll need to keep a tight rein on your magic or it may bring the whole house down. Do you think you can do that?"
There was a pause while Harry gave Remus's words serious consideration and Sirius was pleased with Harry's cautionary nod. Sirius also nodded at Remus who waved his wand at the ward stone.
Sirius took a deep breath, his hands cramped into fists as they began the slow walk up the path. It was important he kept control too; he knew that. But memories bombarded him with every step…Lily gardening and planting the border, James opening the upstairs window to shout something down to him, Harry on a blanket in the front garden during the Summer after he was born, Remus resting one day on the stoop tired from the full moon, and Peter…
No.
He wasn't thinking of the rat.
Not then.
Not ever.
Sirius dragged his mind back to the present and cast a look at Remus. Moony wasn't doing any better than him, Sirius determined, taking in the tensed jaw and grim expression. He moved his attention back to Harry; his son stood in front of the door; pain and heartache, hope and curiosity written blatantly across every inch of his being.
And it made all of Sirius's angst melt away like a snowflake caught in a beam of sunshine.
He placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "We're right here with you, Pronglet."
And they would be. They would take every excruciating step with him.