A story from when I was still 'truly' twenty-two.
"─I'll rape you."I felt dizzy as I uttered the line I had only thought about in my head. As I leaned back against the chair, my stiff neck and back cracked with a loud pop.I swiveled the chair around to take a short break and looked around.The room, with a large wooden cross hanging on the wall, was bathed in the fluorescent light.No matter how hard I tried to see it as spacious, the studio apartment near Daehak-ro, with a monthly rent of 350,000 won, was undeniably cramped.Whirr-. The old, stuttering computer and the refrigerator, which roared loudly despite being empty, competed to fill the silence.An unusually quiet room.I massaged my eyes with the palms of my hands and read aloud the sentence written on the bright blue monitor screen again."I'll rape every woman in the world."…Could there be any words more horrifying than these?If it were me, I wouldn't even want to associate with someone who would say such a thing. Of course, there was no way such a person who would say this in earnest actually existed in the world.This outrageous sentence was just a line from a character in a novel.「I'll rape every woman in the world! Men are slaves! The elderly and children will be sacrificed!」The character who uttered this line was the protagonist of the novel 'Heretical Scumbag Cult' that I was writing, and he was a terrible villain.A villain so heinous that there was no room for sympathy.But for me, he was the cleanup hitter who would bring in a lot of money."…I need money."Overdue rent bills and late payment notices were piled up next to the keyboard. But the real problem wasn't the phone getting cut off or the water supply being stopped.The loan from a private lender that the orphanage director had desperately taken out had a very high-interest rate, and it quickly snowballed like a snowball.If things continued like this, the director and the younger kids at the orphanage might have to be separated. So, I had to come up with about 40 million won within three months.But I was just a theology student who had just returned to school in my second year after a break, and I was an orphan.Where could I, a person like me, earn 40 million won in three months?How?How…?As I was agonizing, I saw an online advertisement banner.It was shimmering with a blue light, like a revelation from the Lord.「Evilpia's Hellish Adult Web Novel Contest!」「Chance to win up to 100 million won in prize money!」100 million.100,000,000.It was an amount of money I never thought I'd be able to touch in my lifetime.With this money, I could pay off the orphanage's debt, and the remaining amount would be more than enough for me to use until I graduated from seminary and graduate school."It takes a lot of money to become a pastor."Pastors were generally a poor profession.But ironically, it took a lot of money to become a pastor.And my dream was to be a pastor of a pioneer church!Starting with just one believer in a place where there's nothing!And marrying a pure and devout 'maiden' as my wife and navigating life together.That was my fervent wish."Therefore, I need this 100 million won. I have to aim for the Excellence Award with a minimum prize of 40 million won. Absolutely! Absolutely! This is my only way!"This 100 million won prize advertisement felt like a calling or a revelation to me, and I became desperate.Fortunately, I was confident in my writing skills.Humanities were a basic requirement for a theology student who would eventually become a pastor and write sermons.Also, the orphanage had a lot of donated books, so I had a knack for reading and writing since I was young.The problem was… that the theme of this contest was 'adult novel'.Adult novel.19+.It had to be an explicit adult novel, not a sensual literary work like 'Norwegian Wood', which I had secretly read before.In other words, it had to be erotic."100 million…"Erotic novel and 100 million won.After much deliberation, I logged into the website Evilpia, read a few adult novels, and started typing on the keyboard."Let's do this! Lord, don't take away this tribulation from me, but give me the strength and wisdom to overcome it! Please grant me the talent for writing…!"In the end, my desperate prayer seemed to have worked, and I won the grand prize.「Grand Prize Confirmed! User 'BetrayedtheLight' with 'Heretical Scumbag Cult'!」「A work that shines with vivid psychological descriptions and a realistic story. The opening line, 'I'll rape every woman in the world─' is a masterpiece!」「Author's acceptance speech – I'm speechless. That's all.」When an amount of money I had never seen before appeared in my bank account, I was dumbfounded by the thrill I had never felt in my life.It felt like my chair was floating 5cm in the air.I was confident in my writing, but to earn 100 million won with my first erotic novel?Did I really have a talent for writing?The readers' reactions were also very, very enthusiastic!「Finally, a 19+ masterpiece has emerged on Evilpia.」「Isn't the description especially vivid when he kills people or rapes them?」「I saw a comment saying that the author is rumored to be a four-time convict…」「It definitely feels like a story that couldn't have come from the mind of an ordinary person lol. The way he writes his afterword is weird too, so he's definitely not normal.」「The author is somewhat suspicious…」People in various online communities started to dig into 'me' as a person.They were making absurd claims like I was a convict, I was wearing an electronic anklet, or that I had actually raped and killed people.I, Hyde, have never even held a woman's hand, let alone commit rape or murder.「Like we saw in Chapter 4, maybe the author has kidnapped women in his basement? He said he lives in OO city in his afterword, right? lol」「If it's a studio apartment near Daehak-ro in OO city, it must be OO district, right? Let's find all the places with basements lol」The problem was that they started tracking my email and real address through my username."This is bad."I was a little scared.Some people might think, "So what if it gets out that you write erotic novels in the 21st century?" But I wasn't an ordinary person, I was a theology student!What if it got out that my identity was 'Hyde', a second-year theology student who had just returned to school?I would definitely be expelled from the seminary, and the orphanage director, who had paid off the debt with the money I gave him, would surely throw the money back at me in a fit of rage!The brothers and sisters at the orphanage would treat me like trash!"I have to withdraw."I thought I should withdraw from the suspicious web novel site Evilpia.But the 'Withdraw' button was quite difficult to find, and while I was rummaging through the site, I saw the amount I would be paid next month.「Cumulative Payment Amount: 44,446,667 won」「Request Withdrawal」Chills ran down my spine, and cold sweat started to trickle down. My lips became dry, my breath quickened, and my body trembled.With this money, it would be a great help in establishing 'my own church' after graduating from seminary.What if this kind of income continued to accumulate every month until the story was finished…?"…Should I take another semester off?"I started typing on the keyboard with my now familiar skill.Flash. Boom-!At that moment, lightning struck inside the room, and I lost consciousness instantly.I don't know how lightning could strike a 3rd-floor room, but that's all I remember.When I opened my eyes, I was lying in Bluebeard and Nicola's hospital room.Yes, I remember everything now.This is a dream, isn't it?Breath-.As I tensed my body, my consciousness floated.I opened my eyes and saw a room in a luxurious mansion.A blanket was draped over my shoulders, and it smelled strongly of flowers."Did Psyche cover me with it? I must have fallen asleep and had that old dream again."The reason I had that old dream was probably because I was holding a pen and writing.Whenever I fell asleep while writing, I always had a dream about being struck by lightning.About the time when I was writing erotic novels out of greed for money and received divine punishment!"I won't write erotic novels anymore. I want to write a masterpiece that deeply explores faith and truth, like 'The Pilgrim's Progress'. And in my opinion, that masterpiece has already been completed by my hands!"Swish-.A manuscript was placed in front of me on the desk where I had been dozing off.The title was 'The Village of the Back Alley Nymph'.I dare say it was a top-notch fairy tale that contained the essence of my theological knowledge, tailored to the level of a child.I took it and headed towards my brother-in-law's room.It was late afternoon, and the sun was setting through the window in the hallway.The maid who was running errands stopped me again."Stop. Didn't you hear what Scholar Selim said? The young master is in poor health. He is not allowed any visitors today."Scholar Selim, Doctor of Theology.His words seemed to carry considerable authority among the people in this mansion.It was the same in the 21st century.The opinions of doctors who appeared on YouTube and said, "Exercise, don't eat this or that─" were always accepted with high authority.Meanwhile, when clergymen said, "Don't sin. Go to church." to save the truly important souls, it was considered old-fashioned!"Then please just give this book to Young Master Dihon. I heard that Young Master Dihon enjoys reading books and listening to stories, so he'll surely like it."Swish-.I handed the bundle of papers to the maid.The maid took the bundle and looked at me with suspicion.Step, step.I retreated from the hallway.When I returned to my room, Psyche was sitting on the bed.She looked happy to see me."Hyde, I've been waiting for you!""Psyche. You were waiting for me?""Did you finish your nap? It seems you were writing something. I know it's rude, but I was curious about what you were writing, so I took a peek. I wanted to talk to you about it!"Psyche read my writing?I was a little nervous.It was the same whether it was in the past or now, I always got nervous when someone read my writing and reacted to it."Well, I've written many things before, but this is my first time writing a fairy tale. So I'm not sure if it's interesting or not. It's more of a story for moral lessons than for entertainment─."Psyche's eyes lit up."It was a wonderful story! I was especially moved by the nymph? That creature, struggling alone to survive in a strange world, yet not losing her innocence!"The Village of the Back Alley Nymph.It was a story about a fairy nymph who fell into a strange world and struggled alone, but didn't lose her innocence.That's right.It was an autobiographical novel about me, Hyde, who fell into this barbaric world and yet didn't lose my faith!To accurately grasp the theme of the story, which could be difficult to understand…As expected, Psyche was definitely the perfect match for me, born to be my wife.Psyche continued,"Hyde, I heard from Mother. You said you're going to try to cure my brother Dihon's illness?""That's right. I wrote this story because of that. I thought I needed to become close to Young Master Dihon first. But I have a question.""A question?""I heard that you vowed to remain chaste because of your brother, Young Master Dihon. Is that true?"Psyche closed her mouth.Did she choose silence over lying?Soon, Psyche nodded and opened her lips in a calm voice."That's right. Dihon has had a weak heart since he was young. So I, like a child throwing a tantrum to the Lord, made a promise to myself. I said that if I remained chaste, He should heal Dihon.""I see, so you've been refusing marriage all this time to keep that promise. There were various complex reasons. It's a common thing. Making vows to the Lord in exchange for something."For example, some believers would often make vows like, "I'll attend dawn prayer every day, so please let my son do well on the college entrance exam─."To be honest, I didn't like this kind of behavior.Faith that seeks blessings is no different from primitive shamanism.Psyche's face darkened slightly at my words.Her two blue eyes were getting moist, as if she was about to burst into tears."I feel like if I don't keep that promise… Dihon will never get better. Hyde, I'm really sorry. I should have told you this before we got married.""It would have been better if you had."But if I had known beforehand that Psyche was a chastity advocate, would my choice have been different? Of course not.I would have married Psyche anyway.Because I had a crush on her from a long time ago, and I recognized her as my only soulmate.Also, to teach Loras, Manaan, and Oscar Archibald a lesson, it was best to have the Agarphe's power on my side."Hyde."Pat.At that moment, Psyche held my hand.Our first hand touch.I was surprised by her softer-than-expected touch when Psyche said,"Hyde, if you want to have children, you can take a second wife. I can even find a suitable person for you myself. We can raise your child with that person as if it were our own…""A second wife? Are you serious?"Since this kingdom only recognized one wife, she was suggesting I take a 'concubine'.Nobles and high-ranking priests often took concubines.But for the wife of a Count to suggest her husband take a second wife… Did Psyche not have the pride typical of a noble lady?"I'm serious."That must mean she felt that sorry to me.Psyche was even willing to throw away her pride for me.Feeling Psyche's 'deep sincerity', I thought it would be rude not to react at all."Psyche, what woman could catch my eye when I have you, who is called one of the 'Three Flowers of the Kingdom'? You're saying such hurtful things. My love for you is real.""…Hyde, you…!""If there's anyone else who could barely catch my eye, it would be one of the 'Three Flowers' like you. Alright. Then I'll take a second wife, so please introduce me to one of the 'Three Flowers'.""…Huh? Huh?""Well, even the ancestors of faith, Abraham and Jacob, had multiple wives, so why can't I? It's not a problem biblically."I wanted to remain chaste with Psyche, but…Since Psyche so desperately wanted me to take a second wife, I couldn't help it.Didn't Sarah, the wife of 'Abraham, the ancestor of faith', also suggest her maidservant Hagar as Abraham's second wife because she couldn't bear children?Therefore, this was a very biblically correct story."Psyche, please arrange a meeting between me and Archbishop Archibald's youngest daughter, who is also called one of the 'Three Flowers', just like you. Then I'll take care of the rest!""…Huh?"