Life's a bitch and I mean it.
I used to be that young boy with twinkling eyes and impossible dreams that would make any parent snort from the ridiculousness, then the problem was that I never grew up from that shitty trance of a phase. I always believed I can be a successful writer, someone that can make a book filled with magical words that inspires people to throw money at my face so I can share more of my fantastic ideas, but news flash! I'm no J.K. Rowling.
Now I woke up from the reality of life that my young dreams were beyond of my natural capabilities, "I can't do that shit young me, not anymore." And I regret the fact that the realization occurred to me as I got my seventh manuscript rejection after years. I always believed that hard work eventually pays off, but now I'm way too tired and demotivated to do anything else.
Maybe I should've thought twice after dropping out of college, maybe I should've grabbed the chance of getting a stupid diploma so I can get a stable job rather than relying on my dependable girlfriend who's been there with me for years, supporting me as I write a failure of a novel.
"We're here." The driver mentioned.
"Oh, thanks." After stepping out of the cab, I grabbed the ring I had on my pocket and stared at my home apartment. I was planning to propose to Maeve after submitting my manuscript, I was so sure that I was going to get it this time, though maybe now's the time to stop and think things through, I'm already 25 and writing has only wasted my time after years of doing so.
"Alright, I can do this." I told myself as I entered the building.
Then by the time I was already facing the door of my apartment, I can already imagine Maeve's disappointed face. Though she would always try to smile and give me that pat on the shoulder, telling me that there's always next time – but this time I'll tell her that I'm out of the game for good now.
This time I'll make it up to her.
"Maeve, I'm home." I announced, only to be welcomed by some gasps and a scene that stung my eye.
"Aiden!" My girlfriend yelled as our eyes met, she pushed away the guy kissing her by the neck. "What the hell, Maeve!? What is this!?"
"Hey! Don't go shouting at her, you don't get to shout at Maeve!" I went straight up to this audacious guy defending her, I was about to throw a punch though I hesitated when I noticed up close that he's bigger than I am.
"Aiden, I can explain!" Maeve cried.
"Yeah? Then explain what's this dips shit doing here mangling your neck!?"
"Aiden, you–"
"You don't deserve her, there. I said it." The douche bag stepped closer and hovered on me, intimidating me with his height and glare. "And what makes you say that?" I dared to ask.
"Glad you even bothered to ask! Don't you realize that you've been weighing Maeve down for years now? She's also a person with her own dreams and ambitions, not a slave you can use for your own sake. You keep putting your own stupid dreams first, forcing her to overwork herself just to sustain a leech writing garbage!" I was trying to hold myself back from throwing hands 'cause there's definitely no winning against a big guy like this one, but the moment he called my writing garbage, he made me want to strangle the life out of him.
"AIDEN!"
The next thing I knew, I was already on top of him before my girlfriend could do him, choking this asshole with the very hands I use to write the garbage he spoke off. Actually, why am I mad? This guy is right, my writing is garbage. It never got me anywhere else in life but rock bottom.
My hands went loose on his neck as I realized that I was flipping off over a worthless reason, what's worst is that I wasn't even upset about the fact my girlfriend cheated on me – I was way more upset he called my writing is garbage.
"Damn it, I'd hit you but I don't want Maeve to hate me for that." The guy pushed me off and coughed, then Maeve went to my side, looking like a mess as she kept crying miserably.
"Oh Aiden, I… I didn't want things to be like this." She sobbed, making it harder for me to look at her.
"Why?"
"…I get tired too, Aiden. And we're not getting any younger. I can't keep working for you… I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry."
Of course she's tired. Of course she'd dump me like this eventually. I know she's the one in the wrong in this situation, but giving all those years we spent together a thought, this damn asshole was right. She does deserve better, "Fuck it, Maeve. Do what you want."
I hope she find that thing she deserves in life. Before I can leave the apartment, I heard the guy calling me a jerk even when I did them a favor of giving them some space so they can finally fuck each other after I interrupted them.
Now it was a dark cold night for a homeless guy like me to wander off the streets alone, my heart broken by a rejection and betrayal. Indeed, life was an absolute bitch. And so, I found myself heading to the beach in the middle of the night. What was I going to do there? I don't know, maybe think about my life… get my shit together… or just off myself right here, right now.
"As if, you're a chicken. You're even talking yourself out of it like how you're doing it right now."
No, I can definitely do it tonight. There's nothing else for me to do in this cold cruel world.
"Then do it. DO IT!"
I will, damn it. Just wait for one sec.
"See? Chicken."
You idiot, can't you just shut up for a moment and let me have a peaceful moment by myself in this lonely yet beautiful cold night.
"Excuses!"
Oh, what am I doing? I buried my face on my palms, trying to feel warmth from this numbing cold place. I breathed in the salty air and tried to compose myself even though I'm already fine in the first place. "Shitty girlfriend… shitty dream… shitty life… how much more should I suffer!?" I yelled to the world. "Alright, bring it on! Make me more miserable, torture me until I go insane, kill me! COME ON, I'LL FUCKING TAKE IT ALL!"
Ugh, I'm so tired.
Even though I feel so tired, I can't stop from talking trash with the world. I'm at my wits end and I don't think I'll stop any time soon, or maybe I will after I squeeze all this force and energy out of me and kill myself from hypothermia outside here. And when I almost tripped and fell on the chilling salty water, somebody caught me right before I froze to death.
"Be careful!" This person caught me by the chest, his thin arms barely holding me securely. But it was just in time for me to reposition myself, I turned to him and had to give my thanks. "Geez, that was a close one. Thanks for stopping me from freezing to death so I can be released from this stupid stream of time filled with tormenting experience we call life!"
"Uhh… you're welcome." He awkwardly replied, but as we stare at each other for a brief amount of time, his face grew familiar as if his name was hanging on the tip of my tongue. "Wait, do I know you?"
This strangely familiar man smiled warmly and looked at me as if he actually knew me, "I guess you forgot about me, but that's fine. It's been a while since we saw each other after all. How's your stories coming along, Aiden." It shook my core when he mentioned my name, this weird pretty boy with long curly blond hair that appeared here in the middle of the night and conveniently came to my rescue just in time before I was going to submerge myself in the icy cold salt waters, who also happens to know my name.
"Who are you?"
As he answered my question, the stupid waves at crashed at the shore, tuning out his words introducing himself.
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