I do not own Percy Jackson, it belongs to Rick Riordan and Star Wars currently belongs to Disney, as well as any other elements that appear here, credits to their respective creators.
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"Log of a Sarcastic Demigod Among the Stars" will basically be told from the recorded log of everyone's favorite sarcastic son of the sea, Percy Jackson, who has lived for almost 500 years.
It will be a few "entries" before Percy reaches the "Galaxy Far, Far Away."
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[Click, pause, sigh.]
Percy's Log: Entry No. 21, 876... perhaps you can call this part as Diary of a Reluctant Demigod Searching for a Lost Goddess
Date: September 15, 2483
Location: The forests of Canada
Day 1 of a New Quest: The Hunt Begins
It's been nearly two weeks since Thalia and Reyna sent that message suggesting Artemis might be in trouble. Honestly, if I had a drachma for every time one of my relatives has been "in trouble," I could open a chain of pizzerias. But I'm not one to take a chance on Artemis, the goddess of the hunt and one of the few who does something when trouble looms, even if now my opinion of her and the hunters is very different than when I was actually in my twenties.
However, there is something strange about this whole situation, like a demigod's first attempt at cooking. It's promising until you try it and then your taste buds wish they could escape.
But even so, there was something strange about that possible void created by Artemis's absence and I could only wonder while I can only think that trouble is coming: In the name of Chaos, what is happening now?
Although something curious was that as I went deeper into the undergrowth of the forest, I thought about how wonderfully ironic it was that I was there looking for the goddess of the hunt... Once again... But that I had become a personal tracking service for some god was not something new, nor if this becomes ridiculously complicated.
The truth was that I had seen more than enough to make even the gods like Uncle Hades tremble, which sometimes made me paranoid, other times I can only think that having experienced everything I have lived is what led me to where I am and who I am today... And other times they make me curse for more than an hour...
I have met Norse gods, who were more interested in preparing for Ragnarok than in paying attention to what happened in the world today... dined with Egyptian gods who preferred a kind of wine in ceremonial cups... trained with some gods such as Sun Wukong who would sweep the ground with Greco-Roman gods...
And of course there were my large number of Greek-Roman relatives... Don't even get me started... At least some of the few advantages of getting involved with many divine pantheons is all the knowledge and skills I've developed...
However, I have walked through the thick undergrowth of these forests, employing several of the spells and tracking rituals I have learned over the past five centuries and thought that living so long would mean that I would eventually become an expert at something, but instead, I have just gathered a ridiculously long list of talents that don't seem to be useful most days that I need them.
So right now, I'm relying on the teachings of Skadi, the Norse goddess of winter and hunting, and some of the whispers I've learned from the various magical languages I've encountered during my wanderings around the world.
But I've found unmarked trails, broken branches, and even some barely noticeable tracks of wild animals. The chill of the air reminds me of what I have to do, though I'd probably have more fun hunting marshmallows than looking for the trail of a goddess. Who would have thought that being a demigod would also mean playing the role of a glorified hound?
[End of log entry.]
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[Click, buzz, crack.]
Percy's Log: Entry No. 21, 877, Day 2: Iris's Message
Date: September 16, 2483
Location: Still in the Woods of Canada
Well, I hate being right about sinister vibes and a bad feeling... Just when I thought I might have found Artemis's trail, I received a Iris message of Chiron.
Apparently, the sons of Apollo and Hermes have been having prophetic nightmares, about their parents one asking for help. They dreamed of shadowy figures, a faded symbol of an arch, stars, echoes of screams in a dark forest and a cave. Wonderful. I guess it's official... three events are now a pattern... and in the world of demigods, that always signals disaster.
I cursed loudly enough to wake up a close family of frightened deer who looked at me as if I had insulted their mothers.
I'm sorry, Bambi, but if I don't vent my frustration, I'll end up talking to the crows. Oh wait... I've already done it a few of the times I've gotten into some trouble with Magnus and the other Nords!
Maybe I should look for a therapist trained in dealing with immortals and demigods instead of this ancient tape recorder. Trying to keep my sanity intact while dealing with the drama of the gods, who are unfortunately my kin, is proving to be an increasingly Herculean task even by my standards with each passing decade...
[Click, buzz, crack.]
[End of log entry.]
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[Click, buzz, crack.]
Percy's Log: Entry No. 21, 878, Day 3: Unwanted Meeting
Date: September 17, 2483
Location: Deeper into the Woods
I spent the morning searching the nooks and crannies of the undergrowth, using every tracking spell I could remember. I even stumbled upon who knows what at least three times.
You'd think that with all the wisdom I've accumulated over the centuries, I'd learn to avoid the roots of strange trees. But no, there are some things that can't be undone, I'm still a clumsy demigod from time to time. The classic Percy.
Even so, I'm sure that one of those roots is actually a root or branch of the World Tree and by the world tree I don't mean just the Yggdrasil, no, that's just a part of the real World Tree that connects all the realms or dimensions that are on the planet, such as the 9 kingdoms, those under the control of the Japanese gods, the Hindus, the different realms of the dead, and many more. (1)
Which now makes me wonder, as well as worry if Artemis is not in trouble, but that she collided with a root and ended up in another realm... and now it's probably causing more problems of another kind because of the temperament that most of Zeus' descendants have, whether they're gods, demigods, legacy, and something else.
Chaos, I hope not.
Anyway, in the afternoon, I met someone I least expected: a hunting party of the Artemis Hunters.
There were four of them and it was an unusual meeting in which they made it clear that they were also looking for Artemis as the rest of the hunters were scattered throughout the forest doing the same. So I exchanged serious looks with the leader, a girl named Lyra, who seems capable of leaving a deer in an icy coma with a single look, although to me with everything I've seen she looked like a 7 year old girl trying to look at you angrily... she was adorable.
"Have you found a trace of Artemis yet?" I asked them.
"Not yet," Lyra replied in a serious voice while she and the others gave me the classic look of the hunters to men. "Thalía and Reyna informed us that you would come to help, although your help is not necessary."
"A little extra help never hurts," I told them, although I was tempted to roll my eyes at the classic attitude of the hunters
That's great. Now I'm standing next to a handful of teenage girls clinging to their narrow and simple ways of thinking... Just what I needed... More dramatic tension...
Personal note, I must remember to have a drama meter handy while I'm at it.
[End of log entry.]
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Note #1:
Various cultures have a myth about a world tree, not only the Norse
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