He picked up her tattered robe. Hoping to take advantage of this lull in her antics to get her dressed again. Her moods were seesawing crazily, from the heights of happiness to tears.
He came up behind her like she was a wild horse to be broken. He threw the robe over her shoulders.
There was a struggle between them while she tried to get out of it. He gripped her under the shoulders, trying desperately to re-tie the torn knot tightly, without touching her chest.
She pulled out from the wide sleeves of the men's robe and ran.
Unfortunately, he had mistakenly grabbed the end of her chest binding and tied it to the tattered robe tie. The chest binding now unravelled and fell to her feet as she escaped the robe. She kicked it aside without a care, spinning back into her martial dance.
The poor bedraggled scholars who had just climbed back onto the hulls of their overturned boats looked up in time to see this heavenly sight.
"Wooah!" came the roar of their shouts, and the slightly balanced men started to wobble and tip alarmingly again.
Two more boats now joined the traffic jam, smashing into the upturned boats, one of which started to sink.
"Let me up, let me up," cried those in the water, pushing the water out of their eyes so they didn't miss this wonderful performance!
"One of the boats just sank Mei Meili," Tan Bowen said wretchedly, his head in his hands.
This story would spread all over the capital. He could only hope no one made the connection to the youngest daughter of the Mei family… He should help encourage rumours of a visit by an immortal fairy.
He felt his smooth face despondently. Who knew how much longer he could expect to look so handsome after the Mei brothers were finished with him. He must enjoy the last of his handsome days…
Meili seemed to be having trouble with her leaps and tricks now that her chest binding was removed. The changed aerodynamics had unbalanced her.
She looked down to see what the problem was.
"Oh no! Why have you unravelled me?" she belatedly noticed she was displaying an uncomfortable amount of cleavage. "Look. Look at this Tan Bowen," she indicated her body. "Everyone will laugh at me now. You really shouldn't do that to me," she cried sadly.
Tan Bowen sat mutely now. He didn't trust himself to speak on this topic.
Down at the canal, the scholars were now shouting up at him and shaking their fists.
"How could you make a beautiful woman like that cry, young sir?" called a scholar.
"Yes, you'll see how we'll punish you," cried another.
"An angel like that should not shed tears, good sir."
"Sir, sir. The pen of the tongue should be dipped in the ink of the heart," a handsome young scholar said ardently.
Tan Bowen rushed over to the banister. "A tiger does not take insults from sheep," he shouted angrily.
"When anger rises, think of the consequences," cried out a bedraggled scholar who stood on an upturned boat.
"You'd better be thinking of the consequences of my anger!"
"Fair lady," called one brave scholar:
"Short and tall stands floating heart
Left and right she plucks it
Fine and fair is the good lady
Awake and asleep he wants her."
Tan Bowen flew back to the edge of the balcony and shook his fist at the man. "Get lost," he snarled.
The group of men shook their fists back at him, calling out insults.
Tan Bowen pulled Mei Meili away from the railing and the eyes of the rowdy men.
"What gives you the right to deprive us of this fairy from heaven performing such a dance?" a shout floated up.
"I'll deprive you of your heads if you don't get lost!" yelled Tan Bowen.
"Tan Bowen," called Mei Meili, "I don't feel so good."
He really must owe her from a former life, he thought.
"I feel horrible… I think I'm sick Tan Bowen," she covered her mouth with her delicate hand.
He quickly led her towards the side of the balcony that overlooked a narrow canal, too small for the pleasure craft. He held back her masses of long wavy hair while she leaned over the balcony and lost the contents of her stomach.
This is a job for your intended, or for a husband, he thought grumpily. This was really all of the downside and none of the up.
"There, there, you'll be fine," he patted her back.
He caught a glimpse of her cleavage through the thin under-robe as she leaned over the railing, and he quickly averted his eyes. After tonight's display of scantily clad athleticism, he wasn't sure he could take much more provocation.
She stood up, looking around in puzzlement. He handed her his handkerchief wearily.
"I feel much better now!" she said joyfully, taking a swig of tea to cleanse her mouth then hunting around for his sword, which was safely back in its scabbard at his waist.
"Uh, uh, uh. No you don't! That's enough of your antics for one evening young lady. I'm taking you home now."
"Home, home, home," she chanted happily.
"Yes, home. To the Mei mansion, where you live. Back to the inner courtyards where you can't cause any damage."
"Ok Tan Bowen," she said, demure as a lamb.
He knew now to hurry before the fuse was lit again in this firecracker.
He pulled on the tattered robe and used some of the fallen chest binding to tie it roughly together. He didn't dare ask her to reapply that binding or Christ knew what might happen…
He pushed her bare feet into the crushed shoes she had jammed under the doors. Then he hunted down the discarded guan and stuffed as much of her hair into it as he could, leaving the rest flowing down her back.
There was no hope of her passing for a man now anyway, and at this hour there wouldn't be many people about. That was the best he could do. God forbid they should run into anyone. She looked like a beautiful maiden who'd been ravished.
He left some silver on the table for the mess they'd made of the balcony, then put his arm around the girl, propping her up and leading her down the staircase.
"Thank you, young Mast…ers," the greeter looked uncertain now.
Was this the odd little fellow who had come in with Master Tan?
He stared after the pair. That little man, was a woman?