I'm now in a small restaurant vendor, sitting and talking with my friend to vent about my frustration due to my break up this morning. 

"I told you man, she only cares about herself. Every time I came home late, she's always asking me where I was and stuff like that. It feels like I was being interrogated!" 

"Yea, yea... it's already the god knows how many times you've told me that man. That's just how it is being in a relationship..." 

My friend, Patrick replied. 

"But it feels like she doesn't trust me with the way she's asking those questions." 

"Listen here Arnold, it's perfectly normal for a couple in relationship to be curious about what their partner are doing, where is it, and who they were with. Did you even message her that you'll be home late?" 

"I did message her about it." 

"With everything I just told you?" 

"... No" 

"Sigh..." 

Letting out a sigh, Patrick continued 

"Try to imagine your girlfriend telling you that she will be coming home late, but she didn't mention anything about where she's going, who she's with, and what time she will be home. How would you feel about that?" 

"I'll be fine, of course. If she wants to tell me about it, then she will." 

"That's what you say now, might be different when it actually happened to you." 

After saying that, Patrick picked up his backpack and is getting ready to leave. 

"I came here to listen to you venting about your ex-girlfriend, at least cover the bill for me, okay?" 

"But I'm not done ye-" 

"Okay bye." 

I haven't finished talking yet when he cut me off then started walking away. 

Looking at the empty plates on the table, since it was just the two of us, the bill doesn't really cost much. 

I sighed and walked over to the counter to pay for the food, which cost approximately 42 Australian Dollar for a couple plates of fried race, with a drink each. 

After tapping my card on the device, I walked out the restaurant and headed towards the train station to go home. 

On my way home, I recalled the conversation I had with Patrick earlier. 

When I said that I'll be fine if she doesn't inform me about where she's going etc, it's a lie. 

It happened once before and I got really mad at her because I was worried. 

It's been really long time since that happened and I didn't think much of it anymore. 

But now that Patrick mentioned it to my face, although I don't want to admit it, I'm the one at fault for not informing her. 

I just didn't want to admit that I've done something wrong. 

As the train keeps on going, I checked my phone to see that I have no new notification. 

I started to feel lonely and opened up my social media to see how my friends are doing. 

While going through their stories, my ex-girlfriend's story popped up next. 

There's a lot of stories that she updated, some of them showing that she's getting her nail done, hanging out with her friends at a cafe, and even went to hair salon. 

I felt a little weird when I saw that because I haven't seen her doing any of these activities whenever she's with me. 

As I got lost in thought, the train arrived at the suburbs where I live. 

I headed towards my apartment straight away and unlocked my front door. 

I saw the shoes cabinet and noticed that only my plain colored shoes are left. 

Looking ahead towards the living room, I noticed that none of the lights are on. 

The once colorful room are now gray and dull, with no sign of life. 

I can hear the sound of water ticking coming from the bathroom. 

The red rose on the table is showing sign of weathering. 

An uncomfortable feeling started to rose up within me. 

I quicky shook my head and turned on the light before heading towards the bathroom to take a shower. 

After taking a shower, I go to my bedroom to rest as I had already eaten dinner earlier. 

Laying on the bed by myself, the once cramped bed feels so spacious now. 

Trying to rid of the feeling that I don't want to become aware of, I quickly fall asleep. 

. 

. 

I'm a recently graduate university student currently working in a big retail store. 

My work hours started from 10am – 6pm, every Monday – Friday. 

Today is Friday, my last day of work this week. After that I will have the weekend off. 

Noticing that the time is now 8.30am, I get up from my bed to brush my tooth before getting ready to go work. 

As I passed through the living room, the usually filled with food dining table is empty this morning. 

There's something off that's been bothering me, but I don't know what that is. 

I quickly just finish getting ready and started heading out earlier than usual. 

It took me 15 minutes to get ready and 30 minutes to commute to work. 

By the time I arrived at the store, it was still around 9.30am, so I just took a seat on the staff lounge when someone came up to me. 

"Yo Arnold, how's it been?" 

Turning my head over, it's someone that I recognize. 

"Ben, it's been good. How're you today?" 

"Doing well, what's got you looking grumpy this morning?" 

"Grumpy? Who, me?" 

"Obviously I'm talking to you dude." 

I was a little surprised when he said that I'm looking grumpy. 

"Uhm, it's nothing bro, just had a bad morning..." 

"What is it, a fight with your girlfriend early in the morning?" 

"Oh no... We just broke up a couple days ago..." 

Now it's his turn to be surprised. 

"What?! Are you serious?" 

"Ye- yeah... why do you sounds so surprised?" 

"Ah, nothing... it's just that I thought you guys seem like a happy couple because you're always eating a homemade lunch box every time I saw you eat..." 

"Hahaha... it's okay, I was just getting bored of her food anyway..." 

After saying that, he just stares at me for a few seconds before patting my shoulder before walking away. 

"It's okay man, stay strong..." 

"All good man..." 

Now that he mentions it, I didn't have a lunch box with me today. 

So, I'll have to buy food for my lunch break. 

As I started working on the store, I noticed that I'm feeling different than usual. 

It feels like I have no energy to do anything. 

I then realized that I didn't have any breakfast today, unlike usual. 

By the time it's lunch break time, I went out of the store to get some food by myself. 

Usually, I would bring my lunch box and eat with my colleagues, but today I just feels like eating by myself. 

I brought the food back to the staff lounge, where there are other people sitting as well. 

I don't usually sit here to eat because you're not allowed to be loud here, and every time I ate with my colleagues we always cracked a joke which makes us kind of loud. 

As I'm eating my food, an unfamiliar taste came into my mouth. 

I bought a chicken katsu bento, which looks kind of similar to the food that my ex-girlfriend made before. 

But I didn't realize it taste this different. 

Now that I think about it, why did I buy this one out of all the lunch boxes that they sell? 

But that question remained unanswered the whole day even after I finished working. 

As I was working, it feels really weird for some reason. 

I don't feel as energetic as usual, and my insides feels very uncomfortable. 

I quickly clocked off on time and started to head home straight away. 

Opening my front door, a familiar scene occurred to me. 

Not the usual bright and colorful room with a nice smell coming from the kitchen. 

But rather a lifeless dark and gray room with no sign of people. 

Suddenly, I started to think of a certain smiling face that came to greet me every time I came home. 

'Welcome back, Arnold!' 

'How was work today?' 

'Did anyone made you felt angry today?' 

That was how it was before, but lately it seems different. 

'Why didn't you let me know that you'll be late?' 

'Where did you go and with who?' 

'Do you know what time it is? I was worried!!" 

The question that was asked of me every day has changed. 

I didn't notice when it happened. 

As I thought of that, all the uncomfortable and weird feeling that has been holding back inside me burst at once. 

My chest hurts. 

It feels like its tearing me up from the inside. 

It feels like my tear is going to come out any moment. 

Yes, this is an emotion that I haven't felt in a long time. 

Is it since we started moving together? 

Now that it's come to this, I'm remembering things that have long passed. 

When we first started moving in together, I always noticed every little thing that happened between us. 

Whenever something happened, we sat down at the table. 

Took our time to talk about it and we always solved it before going to bed together. 

We always take turns doing the house chores. 

She cooks, and I will clean. 

Whenever she's busy with exam, I always took over for her. 

Whenever I'm busy with work, she always took over for me. 

But after some time, things change. 

More like, I had changed. 

I realized it now. 

I don't ask her about her day anymore. 

I stopped caring about her wellbeing. 

And worse, I stopped noticing every little thing that she did for me and I had showed that I didn't care. 

I took everything, as in her, for granted. 

I thought that she will never leave me no matter what I do. 

But now this is reality. 

It had already happened. 

I lost her. 

The moment I thought of that, tears started to run down my face. 

I crouched down, and held my chest tight. 

"Ugh.. Aghh.." 

I groaned due to how painful it was. 

After a moment, I stood up and run outside towards the train station. 

I heard from Patrick that she's now living with her friend for some time and I know where it is. 

I took the train and after two stops I got off. 

The moment I stepped outside the train station, I saw her with her friends, just out of a supermarket. 

It wasn't the fact that I saw her there that surprised me. 

But what I saw was a laughter that had left her face long time ago. 

It was a sight that I haven't seen lately. 

And the cause of that was me. 

After that I stopped. 

I stopped myself from approaching her. 

I stopped myself from asking for forgiveness. 

I don't want her to lose that smile again because of me. 

And the most important reason why I stopped, is the fact that I was too embarrassed to ask for forgiveness in front of her friends. 

And when I realized that, I thought to myself. 

'What a piece of trash I am.' 

Going back to my place, I felt nothing. 

Or at least that's how I convinced myself to ignore the pain in my chest. 

. 

. 

Days passed by, and nothing interesting really happened. 

I cleaned up my place during the weekend and decorate it to be brighter. 

I also replaced the weathered rose on the table with a new one. 

I reflected on myself a lot, and kept on reminding myself not to make the same blunder again. 

It really feels like I grow mature overnight, but what really happen is just that I realized that people can change, and they might not even know that. 

I learned this the hard way through my break up. 

I also remembered that there are times when she wants to talk to me, but I always brushed it off saying that there is more important thing to be done. 

I regret it. 

I regret everything. 

I regret not listening to hear when she speaks to me. 

I regret not giving her my time even when I have spare. 

And ultimately, I regret not being able to give her what she deserves. 

And now, I'll have to live with regret from now on. 

Maybe, she too, have feelings similar to mine. 

Hoping that someday this regret of ours will be resolved.