The dim light of the hideout cast long shadows across the rough-hewn walls, creating an atmosphere of secrecy and uncertainty. I stood frozen, my heart pounding against my ribs like a trapped bird, my mind reeling from the encounter. The air hung heavy with the scent of herbs and unspoken words, the weight of his presence pressing down on me. He called me Katherine, a name that echoed through the corridors of my fragmented memories, stirring a maelstrom of emotions I had long suppressed.
"Why are you looking for me?" I finally managed to ask, my voice a fragile thread in the tense silence.
Alexios – no, Alex – stepped closer, his gaze intense, a mixture of longing and sorrow swirling in his eyes. "Because I never stopped searching for you, Katherine. I believed you were out there, lost but alive. And now, here you are. But it seems you don't remember…"
The name "Katherine Davis" reverberated through my mind, triggering a cascade of fragmented images: sterile white walls, the prick of needles, and the cold calculating gaze of my father as he transformed me into a living experiment. These memories, sharp and disjointed, were like shards of glass piercing through the carefully constructed facade of my new life.
"I'm not her," I retorted, my voice laced with a defensiveness I didn't fully understand. "That person… she doesn't exist anymore. I am Amira, and I've left my past behind." The words felt like a shield, a barrier against the encroaching darkness, but even as I spoke them, I could see the pain in his eyes, a reflection of the bond we once shared, a bond I couldn't fully recall yet couldn't entirely deny.
"But you can't just erase who you are," he replied softly, his voice a gentle counterpoint to the turmoil within me. "You may wear a new name, but deep down, you are still Katherine, the girl who laughed with me under the Korean stars, the woman who shared my life, my home, my heart. You always will be."
His words sparked a flicker of resistance within me. "I'm living my own life now, free from expectations, free to shape my destiny. I won't be tethered to a past that I can't even remember or as if it happened."
"But it's more complicated than that," he insisted, his voice taking on an urgency that made my pulse quicken. "Your soul traveled from one realm to another, while I came here with my body. That changes everything. We are still connected, even if you can't fully remember."
I frowned, my mind grappling with the implications of his words. Doubt gnawed at me. In the webtoon I read, Alexios was the heroic male lead, a figure who transcended worlds. How could I reconcile that character with this man standing before me, claiming to know me, to love me? I don't even know what he's saying that we loved each other while we're both in Korea.
"I helped Papri escape from the Bronzite Knights," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "She's not my sister either. I just met her, and now you're telling me about a past I don't even recall. The memories I have… they're scattered, like pieces of a puzzle I can't assemble. After my father slapped me, everything became a blur. It's like I've been living in fragments, trying to piece them together but never really knowing who or what was real."
His expression softened, but I could see the hurt beneath his resolve. "You may think you've left it all behind, but those memories are part of you. We can uncover the truth together, Katherine."
The name struck a raw nerve, making me recoil. What if my memories were more than just fragments? What if they were the truth? How could I trust him when my mind felt like a labyrinth of deceit? The thought of trusting Alexios, of allowing myself to be vulnerable again, sent a jolt of fear through me. It felt strange to be drawn to someone who stirred feelings I had worked so hard to suppress. The very idea of it was disconcerting, and I quickly pushed the feeling aside, reminding myself to remain guarded.
"No," I told myself, steeling my resolve. I couldn't afford to dwell on the past, not when my survival depended on it. I had a plan, one I had carefully crafted to avoid my demise. Letting Alexios drag me back into that life would only put me in danger. My priority now was to follow my plan, to focus on escaping the fate that loomed over me—and that began with helping Papri.
"I don't know if I can trust you," I said, my voice trembling with a vulnerability I couldn't conceal. "You're… you're just a character in the story I knew, the male lead, while I am just a passerby, a side character destined to meet her demise during the war. How can I believe you are real?"
He stepped closer, his desperation palpable. "I may have been a character in a story, but the feelings we shared were real, Katherine. You may think of me as just Alexios from the webtoon, but I'm also someone who's spent years searching for you, and who has faced countless obstacles to stand here now. I refuse to be just a part of your past or a mere figment of your imagination."
The intensity of his words resonated within me, but I felt a coldness settle over me, a defense mechanism against the vulnerability he evoked. I didn't want to become attached again, to risk the pain of loss, the shattering of my carefully constructed world.
"I've chosen to leave the Ironclad Empire for good," I declared, my voice firmer now, masking the turmoil within. "You shouldn't get involved in my matters. It's safer for both of us."
His eyes darkened with a mix of understanding and determination. "But Katherine, we need to help Papri. I may know she's not your sister, but she's someone you cared for enough to risk everything to save. We can work together to find a solution."
I shook my head, my heart heavy. "Papri is not my responsibility. I've only just met her. It's just out of guilt that I have to help her, and I'm done with the past. I won't let anyone drag me back into it."
A flicker of disappointment crossed his face, but he didn't press further. The air between us crackled with unspoken words, with the weight of our shared history and the uncertainty of the future. I stood firm in my resolve, clinging to the belief that distance was my only protection.
"Fine," he said quietly, his voice laced with sadness. "Just know that I'm here if you ever decide to face your past."
I turned away, feeling the weight of his gaze on my back, a tangible reminder of the connection I was denying. As I glanced over to where Nevi was tending to Papri, a sense of urgency surged within me. My survival hinged on following my plan, on distancing myself from everything that would pull me back. Papri was a piece of that plan, a key to unlocking the secrets of the webtoon, a means to stay hidden from the powers that sought to exploit me.
The journey ahead would be fraught with danger, but I was ready to face it, one step at a time. Even if it meant doing so alone.