Waking up with his heart pounding, Shed sat up in bed, trying to calm himself with deep breaths.
In recent days, ever since his encounter with those four from Hope, he often found himself waking up with a start due to the dark dreams that repeatedly plagued him. He frequently had nightmares in which, for example, he was discovered as a member of Hope and imprisoned in a dark cell, only to be brutally tortured.
Shed had never thought that merely accepting to be part of Hope would weigh so heavily on his spirit. In fact, apart from the mornings after waking up, he didn't feel particularly burdened by it. The problem was those damned dreams, which were gradually making him more paranoid even during the day.
"I just need to get used to it…" he told himself, getting out of bed.
Trying to shake off those thoughts, he had a hearty breakfast and then headed, as he did every morning, to Ri's office.
'This afternoon I also have to meet with Alice…' he thought on the way.
Shed had arranged with Alice to meet in his room for training three times a week. This would be the first time seeing her again since 'that day,' and it made him both nervous and excited. He was thrilled to learn more about Ka from her, but nervous because she didn't seem to like him much, and also because of some other thoughts he dismissed as 'unnecessary.'
When he arrived at Ri's, Shed practiced with her with a bit less focus than usual, as his mind was filled with thoughts about the afternoon, causing him to make some basic mistakes. Ri didn't seem to pay much attention to this and didn't ask Shed any questions about the reasons for his distraction, simply suggesting he rest in the afternoon.
Back in his room, Shed ate a light lunch at a relaxed pace before sitting on the bed. While waiting for Alice to arrive, Shed, wanting to distract himself and pass the time quickly, decided to pay the 100-credit subscription to Tele-Tio and watch some live Colosseum games.
After a couple of hours, a notification caught the young man's attention. It was from Alice.
"Open the door," read the message.
Shaking off some unnecessary thoughts, Shed went to open the front door.
Alice stood there, dressed in a beautiful midnight-blue kimono. Her long, straight black hair with a fringe framed her sweet-featured face. When Shed had seen her without a mask for the first time, perhaps due to the context, he hadn't really paid attention to her face. Now, however, seeing her again, he couldn't take his eyes off her for a moment. She had a truly beautiful alabaster face, delicate as a porcelain doll's. A small mole at the end of her right eyebrow made her face even more captivating.
Some of the thoughts he had tried to dismiss since morning gradually crept back into his mind. After all, Alice was a beautiful girl, and soon they would be alone in his room... training on the Ka, of course, but that awareness wasn't enough to entirely suppress certain hopeful, lustful thoughts typical of a boy his age.
"Well!? Can I come in!?" she asked in an irritated tone, giving Shed an annoyed look.
Her words brought Shed back to reality.
"Y-yes, of course."
'Too bad about her personality…' he thought to himself.
"Anyway... why in my room?" Shed asked.
"Well... I prefer to stay as far away as possible from the eyes of the hawks... but I didn't want you in my room... so I chose yours, okay?" she explained indifferently, then sat on Shed's bed.
"Is my room safe from the Colosseum's security eyes too?" he asked curiously.
"Of course, even though you're still in a trial period... you're still a member of Hope, and every member's room is secure from the hawks..." she explained.
Shed didn't fully understand how they managed to keep the rooms secure from the hawks, and he didn't really care to know. What mattered was knowing that from now on, he could speak freely in his room.
"What do you know about the Ka?" she asked, changing the subject.
'Straight to the point...'
Shed sighed, both her tone and attitude suggesting that she was there reluctantly. Her attitude, although irritating, helped Shed focus more on the real purpose of their meeting.
"I know little... um... I know that the Ka is what allows a person to use their abilities... and it's a kind of energy we can use through our spirit..." he mumbled.
Alice huffed, appearing irritated.
"You really don't know much…" she commented, her tone sharp.
"What a-" 'pain in the ass she is...'
Shed managed to stop himself, keeping the second part of his comment about her only in his thoughts. However, her furious gaze suggested she had already caught on to his thoughts just from the "what a-".
Noticing this, Shed flashed a smile, which he quickly hid behind his hand.
Soon after, she huffed again, softening her stern expression a little.
"The Ka is what allows us to interact with the universe, sometimes even to modify its laws, and thus change reality through our own thoughts and intentions... the Ka is present everywhere and in everyone in different concentrations. It can be produced within us, or absorbed from the outside... what channels the Ka into something usable is our spirit, or if you want to call it something else, our soul... which in short can be defined as the reason for our existence, and in a sense, the reason for who we are."
She explained. Shed wanted to ask her several questions, not fully understanding her words. However, not wanting to provoke any more irritating comments from her about his ignorance, he decided to pretend he understood, staying silent and putting on a confident expression.
"First, I will help you get to know your Ka better, making you aware of it. Later, I'll teach you how to use your Ka to meditate, with the goal of making you more self-aware... finally, through meditation, little by little, you'll come to know your spirit, until you reach your inner world..." she added.
Her words electrified Shed.
'Reach my inner world?'
In Shed's mind, all of this sounded incredibly poetic and fascinating.
"What's the inner world?" Shed asked, curious.
She gave a small smile. It seemed she enjoyed talking about these things.
"It's a question that's hard to answer concretely, you know. There are various theories about it..." she explained.
"I think the most credible theory is probably the one that considers the inner world as a way in which our mind creates a graphical and understandable representation of something very complex and intangible, like the spirit, the Ka, our skills, and self-awareness…"
"In this sense..." she continued, "Reaching the inner world would simply mean reaching a better understanding of oneself and one's skills. And indeed, the more we discover about our inner world, the more our skills and our ability to use the Ka improve..."
"However…" Her gaze suddenly brightened, "there's another intriguing theory... almost seductive, that I like to think about from time to time, which paints the inner world, and its growth, as a way to get closer to some god who created this universe we live in… precisely because the more you delve into your inner world, the more you become capable of interacting with the universe."
'Indeed... it's an intriguing theory...' Shed thought, swallowing in surprise.
However, Shed also agreed with Alice that the first theory she mentioned was the more credible one, even if it was the more 'boring' one.
"So... first, I have to become aware of my Ka, right? How do I do that?"
After thinking a little about what she had said, Shed asked enthusiastically.