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"Kisuke" A voice like silk called out.
Through the beeping of his computer, and the clashing of training swords, her voice was muffled.
'Gah! What kind of scientist has a messy lab! He never used to be this unorganized.' The woman thought as she made her way deeper into the room.
But there was her target. Kisuke Urahara.
His mouth was open in pure joy, and the telltale signs of sleep depravation framed his eyes.
"Kis-...What's that?" The woman asked, Clearly startling the Shinigami out of whatever stupor he was in.
Kisuke's eyes landed on the woman, and he smiled again, this time more excited.
"Maa, Yoruichi-chan, It's impolite to just barge into someone's work, especially when they haven't finished it."
Yoruichi opted to slap the man's head, "Hush. Now seriously, what's up?"
She was asking about the man's monitor...Or, What was on the monitor.
"Ahh! my fragile head" Kisuke said, and cradled his head in mock pain. "But...I think I've finally tracked him down."
At this, Yoruichi's eyes widened, as she sat next to the scientist, analyzing the monitor screen.
Mirba's smiling face while cooking could be seen, as a black sheathed sword came into view. The giveaway was the Manji guard that was an icon for the person they were searching for.
"I-Ichigo!" Yoruichi gasped, as Kisuke nodded.
She turned her head to the right and met his eyes and said "But how? Did you find the Hogyoku's reiatsu?"
Kisuke hummed and nodded.
"I did. I was searching far and wide through the interdimensional compass I've finished last year, and only recently have I found it's signature. It appears to be fully awakened, and sentient. Judging by the Reiatsu readings, Not only has Ichigo's reiatsu signature changed, It's unbelievably more powerful than it was when he fought Aizen. It's on par with the Soul King's." Kisuke said gravely.
"W-What are you saying?" The flash-goddess asked, already knowing the answer.
"Ichigo's become a god." Kisuke said, his grin widening.
Sheer surprise painted itself on Yoruichi's face, as her attention was back on the screen.
"But what's on the screen?"
"Hah! Why, we're seeing through the eyes of the Hogyoku! I had already installed a surveillance system before Aizen took it." Kisuke said, sipping water from a cup.
"...Will he finally be able to come back?" Yoruichi asked, standing up again.
"From this check, he's been able to come back for some time, all of the hogyoku's features have been online and active for a while. But...I'm unsure if he himself knows this. I'll attempt to find a way to contact Ichigo."
Yoruichi said "I see...Oh. Also, I have bad news."
Kisuke's face contorted to a frown.
"Ah...Yes. It would seem that Hueco Mundo has been invaded." Kisuke said, while watching the monitor screen. Everyone's face shown seemed to be happy.
"Indeed. The Quincy's are back." Yoruichi said, leaving Kisuke's office.
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(Three months since the marriage ceremony)
Ichigo's face was blank, as he opened the door to his room.
There Hephaestus was, on her back panting next to the new dresser Ichigo got for her.
"...What are you doing?" Ichigo asked, as he walked into the room.
He had gone to investigate the horrendously loud shrieking coming from the room, it turns out that the dresser was the thing making the noise on the floor.
"...Im...Moving...the dresser.." She said, wiping sweat from her brow, and then she began to look at the Shinigami.
"What are you...doing." She asked in return.
"Well have fun with that." Ichigo said, and began to walk away.
Hephaestus jolted up and said
"H-Hey wait! Aren't you going to help me?" while pouting.
Ichigo stopped, and turned around.
"You wanted help? Why didn't you say so" Said Ichigo while shrugging.
"I didn't know I needed to ask." Hephaestus pouted harder with her arms crossed.
Ichigo's face flashed with confusion, and walked over to the dresser.
Picking it up with ease, Ichigo then dropped it over to where Hephaestus indicated.
"Jeez, Why didn't I just ask you to put it there in the first place." Hephaestus said, putting her hands on her hips.
Ichigo dusted off his hands, it appears he cracked the furniture slightly.
It's been three months since Ichigo had gotten Hephaestus pregnant, And thus stunning the goddess, Her two week timeframe was gone. It seems that Hephaestus's pregnancy would be abnormal...for both gods.
"How are you feeling?" Ichigo asked, leaning on the dresser.
Hephaestus looked down at her stomach, and she said
"I'm a little anxious, but that's to be expected. My hormones are fluctuating often."
Ichigo cringed slightly, As he remembered the last time He and Hephaestus argued over something trivial due to her emotions.
Hephaestus's hair clung to her damp forehead, and her nose crinkled slightly as she stood up.
"That's alright." Ichigo said.
He had no clue what to tell his Fiancé in order to make her feel better about her situation.
'Don't worry, It'll be over soon...nah if I said that, she'd yell at me for not knowing her situation first hand.' Ichigo thought.
He opted for walking up to her.
"Hmm?" Hephaestus hummed in question as she stared up into the Shinigami's eyes.
He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace, and his nose crinkled as well.
"Go take a shower, stinky." Ichigo said, as he played with her hair.
"How tactful of you, but Thank you, I was going to anyway." Hephaestus said, and playfully slapped Ichigo's arm.
Ichigo rubbed his arm in mock pain, and the goddess rolled her eyes with a smirk while she entered the bathroom.
Once the door closed, Ichigo chuckled to himself.
'What would Goat-Chin think about all of this?' Ichigo thought to himself as he left the room.
()()()()()()()()()(
The mansion had been modified to accommodate the Familia's needs and wants. It used to be just a two layer mansion, with a nice interior. But now, It had an additional two stories below where the familia can go should they need shelter. Sort of like a bunker.
As Ichigo walked down his stairs to his living room, He noticed that other than mirba, the house was empty.
"Mirba?" Ichigo asked, as he got down the stairs.
Mirba stopped whisking the batter in a bowl she was holding, and looked up at him.
"Yes?"
"Where's the familia?" Ichigo asked.
"They went to the dungeon, Acero scolded Ren for buying pure soma with the familia's fund, so they're down there to get the wasted Valis back."
Speaking of the familia...Ichigo had requested Zangetsu's help on this matter, and together they had unraveled Cassandra's prophesy.
"Ah...Damn. How much did it cost?" Ichigo asked.
"220k." Mirba responded in deadpan.
"..." Ichigo sighed and walked to the couch.
"It's alright, They'll get it back!" Mirba said in a minor panic, seeing her god's disposition.
"Hm? No no...It's not that big of a deal, I wish he'd ask before spending, though. But what's bothering me is that prophesy that Cassandra gave me.
"Huh? You believe her?" Mirba said, sounding kind of shocked, as she poured the batter into a cupcake tray.
Ichigo chuckled and said "Of course I do. Why?"
"Oh..Uh...Nothing hah" Mirba said, covering up the fact that she thought that Cassandra's prophesy was nothing but silly talk.
"If you say so" Ichigo said, and laid back.
'So...Ishtar is gonna use Apollo in some way to Kill Hephaestus...Unless I kill Ishtar first, and then destroy Apollo.' Ichigo thought as he layed zangetsu on his lap.
"Preemptive attack, or retaliation attack..." Ichigo asked to nobody in particular.
The dilemma was this: Should Ichigo go and secretly annihilate Ishtar, or should he wait until she does something worthy of declaring war in the first place...
"Ichigo. Something's happening." Suki said, from out of nowhere.
Ichigo sat up in alert.
'What is it? What's going on?'
"I feel...Tingly, Like I'm growing somewhat."
'...I-I see, Are you alright?' Ichigo asked, relaxing slightly.
"Yes, I'm alright. But I feel like my conscious is being expanded." Suki said, sounding relieved.
'Is that so?' Ichigo asked, fully relaxing.
(Play: Bleach ost-Pain)
"Ichigo...Do you think about home?" Suki asked, with unusual emotion.
Ichigo's eyebrow raised and said 'What do you mean? We are home.'
"No. We are not. We are guests in a reality we do not belong in. I mean HOME, Karakura town, the seireitei, EARTH" Suki said
The god's eyes widened at the nostalgia those names brought to him.
"Ichigo, For the while we've been here, I've had time to analyze the currents of the flow of time here. six months pass back home, and one passes here."
Ichigo's eyes bulged. 'four years! No way!' Ichigo said as a hand went to his head.
"Because I was made in that time current, I also realized that my abilities regenerated that much faster...My special ability of dimensional transportation has been ready for a couple weeks now. I began to suspect something was wrong when at the war game, my ability 'Wish fulfilment' worked on Mirba, awakening her hollow abilities and regenerating her eye."
'Woah, Woah! Where'd all this information come from?' Ichigo asked, feeling overwhelmed from the the information she just casually slapped him with.
"Sorry, but It's only now just become clear to me." Suki said, feeling better with getting everything off her chest.
Ichigo's face was pale, and he was now conflicted.
Does he stay here to help, or does he go back home?
"Ichigooo!" Hephaestus called from atop the stairs.
Ichigo didn't respond.
Hephaestus's eyebrow raised, as she began to walk to him.
"Ichigo? Dear?"
'Though, Why'd you sound alerted?'
"Anyone would be alerted if they began to grow suddenly."
Ichigo's face went neutral, as he resisted the urge to face-palm.
'Fair enough.' he said.
"King...What's the objective" Zangetsu said, bringing the topic attention back to the Prophesy situation.
"Yeah" Suki began "What are you going to do?"
Ichigo was silent for a while, and in contemplating silence.
"I've figured it out. I'm going to go and talk to Ishtar. See if I cant diffuse the situation before it starts."
It seems that the three spirits agreed with this course of action because after all, how difficult can she be?
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Ichigo walked the streets of Orario, searching for Ishtar. He walked out of the mansion without knowing where to go, and also not knowing what Ishtar looked like. He rounded a corner to the main street that lead to the Dungeon entrance. He cursed himself for not at least waiting until tomorrow's daylight.
His scowl was firmly in place to deter any unwanted conversations, but it seems that it didn't work because as soon as he walked in front of the Hostess of Fertility, the cheery voice of syr called out to the god.
Ichigo stopped walking, and Zangetsu clanked in it's scabbard from the abruptness of the stop.
Syr walked out of the bar to meet Ichigo face-to-face, and with a smile, she said "Hey, we haven't seen your familia in a while? Maybe come down here for a drink sometime?"
"Yeah, sure. Hey, I have to get going.." Ichigo said, a rushed smile on his face, as he began to walk again.
Syr's face saddened slightly, but nevertheless she kept her smile as she said
"Okay, no worries. Bye-bye!"
She began to walk back into the bar.
"King! Dumbass, You coulda asked her for directions to Ishtar!" Zangetsu yelled inside Ichigo's head.
Ichigo had a face of surprise, and then burned of embarrassment.
"H-Hey wait! Syr!" Ichigo called out, and to his surprise, She turned back around with a curious face.
"Yes?" She said, as she turned to face the god.
Ichigo sighed and scratched the back of his head, and said "Uh actually, where would one find Ishtar?"
The girl's eyes widened, then a small blush formed as her eyebrows lowered.
"I didn't take you for a cheater, Ichigo-sama"
Ichigo's eyes nearly bulged, but he kept his composure.
"Not that way! I just need to have a conversation with the woman. Nothing more, nothing less!" Ichigo retorted, Hoping that she believed him but the suspicion in her eyes didn't leave.
"Mhm, Sure. She's in the Entertainment district, with the large tower. Head towards babel from this street, and then head southeast. You literally can't miss the purple lights." Syr said with a giggle, after seeing how easy it was to rile up Ichigo.
"Thanks." Ichigo grumbled, and followed the directions.
Syr smiled and waved as he walked away, but was startled when Ryuu's hand met her shoulder.
"Gah! Ah Ryuu! Don't scare me like that." Syr said, her skin prickling with goosebumps from the adrenaline rush.
"Was that Lord Ichigo? What did he require?" The elven barmaid asked
Syr walked into the tavern and said "Just some directions." and walked back to the kitchen.
Ryuu's eyes narrowed as she looked back to the street she saw him walking down, only to see that he wasn't there any longer.
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'Damn!' Ichigo said, as he was in the air on a platform of reishi.
He was currently observing a massive amount of Amazonian women rushing around the area, seemingly to look for something.
'Oh! There's Hermes" Ichigo said aloud, as he used Flash-step to get back to the ground.
Startling a couple people with his sudden appearance, Ichigo walked up to the messenger god.
Hermes was talking to a person with a blue cloak, Ichigo couldn't see who, but he sensed that she had a reiatsu tainted with Hermes's presence. Possibly one of his familia.
"Hermes" Ichigo called out, as he walked up to the god.
Startled, The woman in the cloak turned invisible and dashed away.
"Ahh! Ichigo! My my, you mustn't scare people like that!" Hermes said, faking fright.
Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the invisible woman who stood atop the roof nearest to Hermes.
"Yeah, My bad." Ichigo said, looking back down to Hermes. "But could you possibly tell me where Ishtar could be?"
Hermes's smile went from friendly to lewd and he put his arm around Ichigo's neck.
"Ah, you wanna see ISHTAR eh? You can find her in that spire right down the street from here" Hermes said as he gestured to the brightly illuminated tower.
Syr's words 'You can't miss the purple light' echoed in Ichigo's head, as once again he felt himself being embarrassed.
"Thanks." Ichigo said, as he went to move Hermes's arm off of his neck, but Hermes held fast.
"Wait my boy, Here, take this..." Hermes said as he gave Ichigo a small purple vial.
Ichigo looked down at the vial before taking it and inspecting the liquid.
It was purple in color and had specks of blue energy flowing around it, it was actually quite pretty to look at.
"Say, What's this stuff?" Ichigo asked as he turned the vial around a couple times.
"An aphrodisiac" Hermes said, his smile widening.
Ichigo's face exploded in red, and his mind instantly flashed to Hephaestus.
"N-No Kidding?"
"Heh heh yeah. Cost quite a sum too."
Ichigo's face dropped. Hermes was undoubtedly going to use this as a chance to get in favors with Ichigo.
"Nah, I'm not interested in debt." Ichigo said as he moved to give Hermes back the liquid.
Hermes only chuckled in response.
"HAH! Since when did I say you needed to pay me back? Lets just say that this is a gift between men." At this, Hermes unhanded Ichigo and began to walk away.
Ichigo's eyebrow raised in surprise, but said words of appreciation anyways.
"Don't mention it." Hermes said, before turning around with a dark look. "Literally. Don't."
Ichigo sweat dropped and pocketed the vial and said "Yeah, No worries."
At this, Hermes returned to his usual happy-go-lucky demeanor, and walked away.
'What the hell was that all about.'
This could have been top 5 of Ichigo's strangest encounters, and it was a damn good thing that nobody paid attention to the two gods as they conversed.
"Back to the matter at hand." Ichigo said. 'Saving Hephaestus.'
The Shinigami began to make his way to the home of Ishtar, the god of beauty.
The walk itself was unnerving as little by little Ichigo discovered the purpose of the 'Entertainment District'.
Seeing Brothel after Brothel, Ichigo picked up the pace as he began to hear the cries of people engaging acts of love behind closed doors.
'What a sick part of town!' Ichigo thought as he began to use Flash-step.
He was at the gates of the tower in no time, only to find it completely unguarded.
"Hello?" Ichigo called out, and to his annoyance, nobody answered.
Moving closer, The shinigami Put both hands to his mouth to amplify his voice.
"Hello?!" His voice echoed around the great hall, and still no answer.
Ichigo shrugged his shoulders and walked towards the gate, not stopping even though the gate was closed with a locking mechanism.
The god of death walked through the bars of tempered steel, and created a man sized hole in the entrance, making the material screech with it's unwanted movement.
Ichigo's sandals clacked against the stone of the ground and made quite an intimidating rhythm, as he approached the main door.
Smells of acrid body odor and perfume permeated the air and made the Shinigami's nose wrinkle.
'Ah. High school.' Ichigo thought, as he gave the door a thorough echoing knock.
Near instantly, the door flew open to reveal a livid and very naked Ishtar.
"Did you find him ye-!" and her face drained of color, before exploding into a blush.
Backing away slowly, the scent of her tobacco pipe wasn't at all as disgusting as regular tobacco products because it smelled of berries.
"I-Ichigo? What are-are you doing here?" She said.
"We need to talk." Ichigo said, stepping into the area without looking anywhere near her ample breasts, causing the goddess to walk backwards slightly faster.
Ishtar's eyes scanned Ichigo's features from head to toe, and appreciating every inch of the man before her.
"About wh-what?" Ishtar said, getting annoyed at her flustered speech.
Ichigo closed the door, and noticed an Amazonian woman watching the exchange atop a balcony.
"Are you in contact with Apollo?" Ichigo asked bluntly.
Almost instantly, Ishtar regained composure and answered.
"What? I...No. I am not." Ishtar said, averting her eyes slightly from the steely look from Ichigo.
Ichigo didn't buy that for a minute. Suki sensed Traces of Apollo's reiatsu nearby, but he's nowhere in the city.
"I see. So you're saying If I flipped this place upside down, I'd find no evidence of Apollo being anywhere near this city?" Ichigo inquired, with a half glare.
Ishtar was intimidated, as she began to experience heart burn. A sign of Reiatsu dominance.
Ichigo had been suppressing more and more of his reiatsu as the conversation went on, and she was beginning to feel it.
Due to his astronomically high reiatsu, no living being could feel it unless he suppressed it to a point that it could be felt anyway.
Small loose pebbles from the ceiling of the area had begun to shake loose, and dust fell along with them.
"N-No, And even if he was, What business of it is yours?" she asked, boldly stepping forward.
Ichigo's eyebrow raised.
"Right. What If I told you that I banished him from Orario under the threat of single combat, and that anyone who helped him would suffer under the same consequences?" Ichigo said, half lying.
Ishtar's eyes widened and that blush intensified, as did the sweat on her face.
'...Did she seriously get turned on by a threat?' Ichigo thought internally, but externally he kept suppressing more and more of his reiatsu.
The area was beginning to shake slightly, and the dust falling became more apparent.
"I...I..." Ishtar began to struggle to stand, as she couldn't believe the strength of the man before her.
"Talk" Ichigo ordered as he got real close to her face and glared at her.
Ishtar's ankle rolled from the pressure, as she collapsed to her knees. At this point, her guards had all rushed in but were far worse off than she was, as they were on the ground unable to move.
Tears came from Ishtar's eyes as she broke finally and said "Fine! Fine! YES! I TALKED TO HIM!"
She was finally gasping for air as Ichigo let his spiritual pressure loose again, becoming undetectable once again.
"Talk.." Ichigo ordered once more, and helped Ishtar stand up.
Ishtar's right heel of her stiletto broke, so she was off balance.
Looking to the right, Ichigo spotted one of Ishtar's guards and said "Give her a chair." And instantly one of the less clothed men sprinted to her and got down on his hands and knees, and Ishtar sat down.
This seemed to be usual.
Ichigo looked at Ishtar in disgust (tanjiro . jpg) before Ishtar said "I contacted Apollo to help me with a project of mine. That's it." Ishtar said, taking a drag of her still lit tobacco pipe.
Ichigo sat down on a platform of reishi, and said "Okay." He crossed his legs and then leaned back on an additional platform of reishi
"What's the project."
Ishtar's face darkened with a blush and she said "It's personal."
Ichigo sighed and said "Enlighten me. You're talking with an exiled god, and you already know the parameters of his exile."
Her face paled slightly and she coughed into her hand.
'Why am I acting like a schoolgirl! I've taken MANY men AND women to bed! Why is this so difficult to get out!' She thought to herself, questioning her own bravery.
'Wait...' she thought slyly, before looking up and into Ichigo's eyes.
Her own eyes began to exude a purple hue, and glow.
Ichigo's eyebrows raised at the same time, before lowering in curiosity.
"What is that? Why does that tickle?" Ichigo said, looking away.
Ishtar was stunned.
'Ichigo, she's trying to charm you.' Old man Zangetsu said, remembering the briefings of the gods that Hephaestus gave the man.
"What?" Ishtar asked, her eyes glowing brighter as she intensified her charming technique.
It still didn't work, it did however irritate Ichigo's eyes as he closed and rubbed them.
"Listen, Ishtar. It's going to get very ugly, very fast if you don't tell me what I want to know. And fast." Ichigo said, emphasizing fast.
The lights on Ichigo's pauldrons pulsated faster with each charming attempt.
"Very well..." Ishtar said, conceding completely. For if her strongest weapon as a goddess of beauty failed, what more could she do?
"Apollo wants revenge on you, and he wanted me to take down Hephaestus with my familia."
Ichigo nodded, it seemed Cassandra's prophesy was 100% accurate.
"I see. I already knew." Ichigo revealed, setting Ishtar off.
She stood up and nearly fell over. The embarrassment of that pissed her off even more as she screamed "Then why did you interrogate me like that!"
Ichigo chuckled and glared at the woman.
"I prefer to end things before blood can be spilled. If you would have gone through with that, then I would have had to kill you. It wouldn't have been pleasant either." Ichigo threatened. "One more thing, I thought you were on good terms with Hephaestus? Why agree to take her out?" Ichigo said, Ignorant of her feelings towards him.
"Because she stole you from me!-" She blurted out angrily, as she covered her mouth in shame. The hot tobacco spilling out of her pipe and landing on her servant's hand, and no sounds of pain were heard from him either.
Ichigo's eyes widened slightly, but now it made sense. The prophesy only came to existence once Hephaestus's relationship with Ichigo was revealed.
"...And that's a good enough reason to kill someone?" Ichigo asked, annoyed by the trifling truth of the conspiracy.
Ishtar's eyes stung with the tell-tale signs of tearfall as she nodded.
"It was to me." She said lowly.
"You're a dumbass." Ichigo stated, and she looked up to him angrily.
"But-"
Ichigo interrupted her and said "Nothing except for defense of yourself or family is proper justification to take a life! Wanting to kill her because you had a crush on me? Pathetic! You would have fought to see everyone around you die! Think Ishtar!" Ichigo said, putting his pointer fingers to his temples.
Ishtar's eyes flashed to her familia, though pawns, she did grow fond of them. To see them all dead would have been devastating.
"..." Ishtar's silence was palpable.
Her familia looked on in anticipation, waiting for her to give orders.
"So now you're under the threat of annihilation if you continue to work with Apollo. Do you understand me?" Ichigo said, his aura flaring slightly.
"...Yes." She said lowly.
Ichigo took this as enough of an answer, and decided to use flash step to leave the same way he came.
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Bell was running for his virgin life. He had already vowed to give it to Ais when they married, but these Amazonian girls were chasing his tail like no other.
"AHH! Leave me alone!" Bell yelled as he ducked under another woman's arms, and jumped forwards into a brothel.
The women chasing him gave him no respite and continued the vigorous pursuit.
"Halt! Everyone stand down!" The Amazon named Aisha
Everyone at once turned towards The woman in question, and said "But why?! We've almost got him!"
"Orders from Goddess Ishtar."
And at that everyone rolled their eyes and scoffed as they reluctantly followed direction.
"I'll find you little rookie" A dark voice called out, as the Amazonians retreated.
But deeper into the Brothel, Bell was hiding.
It seems that the people pursuing him had begun to leave, and he would be safe soon, so he'd just hang out here for a while before heading back
Luckily nobody had noticed his presence though, so that was goo-
"Welcome master" A voice like honey called out to the argonaut.
Turning to stone, Bell turned slowly to face behind him, and his eyes were met with the most beautiful pair of green eyes he'd ever seen.
But quickly he noticed he was staring at another woman, and averted his eyes.
"I see that you're blushing, master..I can take the lead if you want." She said, as she slowly approached Bell.
He was frozen in time. Liquid lead pulsed through his body and his fear of the outside was greater than his will to escape.
But suddenly, as soon as she moved Bell's shirt slightly below his collarbone, she fainted into a blushing incoherent mess.
Bell panicked and began to take care of the fox-like woman.
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It wasn't long until Ichigo returned home, He found out that the Familia had returned from the dungeon as well, so that was also a plus.
As soon as Ichigo walked through the door, Mirba's head snapped to his location and a great-big grin was on her face.
"Lord Ichigo's back!" She called out, as one by one, everyone assembled to the entryway of the Mansion.
Ichigo's eyes widened and the corners of his lips were tugged into a smile.
"Hey guys, what's going on?"
Ren, Acero, Daphne and even Cassandra all had smiles.
Mirba had her hands behind her back and said "Close your eyes and hold out your hands!"
Ichigo chuckled and complied. "What's this about?"
"Hehe" Mirba only giggled, as she placed what she was holding in her hands onto Ichigo's own.
Feeling a cold weight of a bottle, Ichigo grew curious.
"Open your eyes!" Mirba said Happily.
It was Pure soma. soma. And on it was a note.
"...Soma?" Ichigo asked, and looked around to his familia's faces.
Ren chuckled and said "Haha, Yeah I know. I know. Amazing right? Here's the story." Ren began and after getting approving looks from Mirba, He continued.
"We were in the dungeon right? And we were in a fairly low level. Barely any effort. But as it turns out, Ace here" Ren tapped onto Acero's chest, "Slayed a jackbird."
Ichigo's eyes widened and he said "What do you mean?"
"Well the killing of a jackbird isn't nothing to bust a nut at, but what dropped from said jackbird...Well it's pretty moist." Ren finished, gaining a slap on the head from Daphne.
"What dummy here is trying to say...We found and sold a 'JackBird's Golden Egg'. And with it, we gained enough Valis to spend on whatever! We're calling it the 'Whatever fund', and it wont drain the familia's personal coffers!" Daphne added, excited.
Ichigo gave a hearty laugh, and he said "You guys are great"
Everyone was visibly pleased that Ichigo was happy.
"That's smart too. Make separate funds for different purposes.. I like that." Ichigo said.
"But...What's the soma for?" Ichigo asked?
Mirba took this chance to answer Ichigo's question.
"It's a gift from Lord Soma. Read the note." Mirba chirped happily, her dress swaying as she moved side to side in anticipation.
Obliging her, Ichigo looked at the attached note.
"Dear God of Death, Ichigo.
Ever since you came to my familia, I've somehow been able to see things clearer than I used to.
'Even when my familia would lie to my face, you were the only one who showed me what was really going on. Even if you didn't do it personally. I'd like to gift you the first bottle of 'Perfect Soma'. I've cleared all the Impurities that soma had, including the near instantaneous addiction it would bring. What kind of god would I be if I continued to damage our children like this? You must mix it as such: One Teaspoon of Perfect Soma Per three gallons of any drink of your choice. Be careful and Please take this as a token of my appreciation. I'll also like to inform you that My familia has been purged of those only using me for their next fix.'
'I thank you for showing me the gritty reality that was my Familia.'
'P.S. I've also sent the Second bottle to Hestia.'
'-Forever thankful, Soma."
Ichigo's eyes were slightly widened. He didn't even do much. All he did was ask him to change Liliruca's falna...What else did he do?
He spent a couple more minutes thinking of this, but decided that he couldn't remember and left it alone.
Ichigo looked at the bottle's contents, and saw that it looked like a standard alcohol. A light cream color was visible through the clear glass.
"...So...Did you...Uh..Wanna crack open the bottle?" Ren asked, Getting disproving looks from everyone, but nobody chastised him since they all wanted a taste. Minus Cassandra.
The shinigami chuckled again and began to walk to the kitchen.
"What juice do you all like to drink? Collectively." Ichigo asked.
Everyone had a look of confusion, but answered nearly instantaneously.
"Orange juice" -Ren
"Apple Juice" -Mirba
"Tea" -Acero
"Mango juice" -Daphne
"Watermelon juice" -Cassandra
Everyone then turned to each other and looked surprised.
"I said collectively, you fools...and Ace, Tea isn't a juice." Ichigo deadpanned.
Acero balked and crossed his arms before saying "Tea is indeed juice. Hot leaf juice."
Ichigo scoffed, but couldn't deny the logic.
'Found Acero's first quirk. Huh.' Ichigo thought to himself.
It took a while of discussion, but they all agreed with watermelon juice. Which made Cassandra smile.
"Get me three gallons, and a small barrel." Ichigo ordered.
Mirba and Ren hopped to with a "Right!" and did as ordered.
A little while later, Ren came back with a new barrel and spigot, and Mirba was carrying three liters of fresh watermelon juice.
'Damn...' Ichigo thought. 'They really want to try this.'
Ichigo then waited for everyone to assemble in the kitchen, and he then began to pour all three liters of the juice into the barrel.
Now full, Ichigo then turned around and went to grab a teaspoon, and then walked back to the barrel of juice.
"Now, It's one teaspoon per three liters of any other beverage. Just like soma ordered."
At this, everyone gasped and paled.
'Three liters? Just how strong is this?' Ren thought excitedly.
Ichigo carefully unsealed the bottle of soma, and poured a teaspoon amount into the barrel.
The liquid began to turn a bright purple color, as opposed to its fruity red.
"Woah!" the familia responded.
Ichigo re-sealed the soma and said "Ren, Put the lid onto the barrel please?"
The man did as instructed, and boom. They had a barrel full of 150 proof Soma: Watermelon.
"So...When do you wanna drink it?" Ichigo asked
And as soon as that happened, Ren grabbed his mug and filled it full with the steel spigot.
It smelled simply divine. The watermelon scent was enhanced, and made his mouth water.
"Bottoms up! Cheers!" Ren said, and downed the drink in three painless gulps.
Ren put the mug down and stood there for a second, staring at the empty mug in his hands.
"I couldn't taste the soma...Nor any alcohol to be precise...It tasted like ordinary watermelon juice..." Ren said.
Ichigo's eyebrow raised, and he said "Really? Let me see." and Ren handed the shinigami his mug, who then filled it 1/4ths of the way full, and downed the drink too.
Ichigo chuckled and said "Damn, I think soma played a fast one on us. Shame, I don't even like....watermelon" Ichigo said before his vision grew brighter.
And everyone face-palmed and laughed along with him.
"Right Ren?" Ichigo asked after setting Ren's mug down atop the barrel.
No response.
"Ren?" Ichigo asked, Looking at the man, but was met with the drunkest of men, swaying side to side, his face blushed and his eyes distant.
"...thats...sum gud shiii" he said, Acero caught him as he fell.
"Oh my god" Mirba stated, as she looked on in astonishment. Apparently to drink this, they'd need to take small shots.
"Lord Ichigo?" Mirba asked as she saw Ichigo's face redden.
Ichigo was having one hell of a head rush, his vision was almost double and his legs were on fire.
"Y-yeah...Take...Ships..I mean..Sips of that..." Ichigo said, stumbling to the hallway.
"Here, Let me help you." Daphne said, causing Mirba to pout, as she helped the stumbling god down the hallway to his room.
"Brin...Bring me the soma...I need to...Put it in the vault." Ichigo said, Fighting to keep his coherence.
Daphne nodded, and Mirba brought the bottle of soma to Ichigo. However, due to the nature of the alcohol, a miniscule amount left over from the teaspoon had remained on the bottle cap...which mirba touched.
As soon as Mirba left back downstairs she sat down on the couch and began talking to Cassandra about the book cassandra was reading, only to fall into a drunken stupor minutes later.
Daphne noticed this and made mental notes to treat this alcohol like some sort of highly infectious poison.
Ren's head was literally spinning, Acero's cheeks flushed and Cassandra was rushing amidst the laughter to get the group hydration. Mirba began bench pressing the sofa for some odd reason, and Acero's usually stony disposition cracked to reveal a small smile.
However, the entire situation was VERY comedic.
seconds later, Ichigo would be brought to the room where Hephaestus was, and she was already laying in bed under the covers reading a book titled "The molecular construction of iron", A book she's studied trillions of times over.
"Good evening Lady Hephaestus, Lord Ichigo made a very potent alcoholic drink. Please take care of him." Daphne said, as she sat Ichigo onto the bed.
Hephaestus's face was at first very worried when she saw the state Ichigo was in, but quickly softened when she saw that he was alright.
"Of course, Thank you."
Daphne bowed, and said "Of course, Lady Hephaestus. Good night."
After bidding the goddess farewell, She closed the door and walked back downstairs to help Acero make sure Mirba and Ren wouldn't do anything stupid.
"...Now I'VE gotta wait to taste this." Daphne said, looking at the cursed barrel of dumb dumb juice.
-()()()(-Back upstairs with Ichigo-)()()()-
"Oh dear. What happened?" Hephaestus asked, as she let Ichigo lay his swirling head on her lap.
Oh Ichigo's inner spirits were having the time of their lives at Ichigo's expense.
From the center of the universe, Hephaestus's lap, Ichigo answered with "I..Didn' drink that much eithrr..*Hic*"
Hephaestus looked down at him lovingly as she played with her hair, while gently caressing Ichigo's face.
"I see. It's alright. You'll be alright." Hephaestus said softly.
That got Ichigo's attention, as he turned his head to the right, and looked at Hephaestus's face.
"...You're beautiful." Ichigo said, nearly coherent.
This slapped a nice crimson blush on Hephaestus's face. It was very heartwarming, especially the fact that Ichigo is clearly intoxicated, He still thinks Hephaestus was beautiful without her eyepatch.
"You goofball" She said, lowly, and moved to kiss him on the lips, but he turned his head.
"Huh?" the hammer goddess questioned, confused.
Ichigo looked intently at Hephaestus and said "You're preganant...thiss stuff can get you drunk by touching it. Mirba got drunk by touching it. You're Bregant" Ichigo said, trying to sound informed, but he just sounded silly.
Hephaestus giggled and said "Alright, Alright. No kisses for you tonight dear. But just try to get some rest, Alright?"
Ichigo got up, which made Hephaestus give him a questioning look, and then he stumbled over to his side of the room and put his sheathed Zanpakuto upon its stand, which made Ichigo's shihakusho disappear.
That Aphrodisiac Hermes gave Ichigo went along with the shihakusho, since it was in a pocket.
"Ok, Now the old man's happy."
'Old man? Oh, Zangetsu.' Hephaestus thought to herself, as she closed her book and put it on the nightstand next to her, in case she needed to help Ichigo.
"Come to bed dear, This will be over by tomorrow morning." Hephaestus said.
Ichigo nodded, and turned around to face the woman and stripped down to his boxers. A habit he kicked when he got to this world, but one he formed in high school. It seems that old habits return when your guard is down.
Hephaestus gasped, and her blush intensified.
His other Zanpakuto was in Shikai, And Ichigo didn't notice as he made his way to the bed.
"I-Ichi, Sweetheart, Are you alright?" Hephaestus asked, noticing the newly formed One-Tent campsite where Ichigo layed.
"Mhm..Im fine." Ichigo said as he layed down, the effects of the alcohol starting to wear off.
Hephaestus's control was wearing thin and she finally decided to just go to sleep.
She shut off the nightstand's lamp, and went under the covers.
She was already in her nightgown, so she had no reason to get out of bed anytime soon.
"Goodnight dear." Hephaestus said, putting her head on her pillow, and pulling the covers up.
The air inside the room was thick with one-sided tension, and even two hours in Hephaestus found that she couldn't sleep.
She sighed and continued to lay in place, regardless.
Then suddenly...
*BOOP*
Something inserted itself between her thigh-gap, and a pair of arms wrapped around her mid-section.
"! I-Ichi!" Hephaestus called out quietly, to no response.
'What kind of drink did he have?! An aphrodisiac?'
"Ichigo" Hephaestus called again, and still no answer.
She was turned on to the max, but didn't want to do anything when Ichigo couldn't say yes or no.
She was stuck...
()()()()()()()()(Next Morning)()()()()()()()()()()
'That was hands down the best sleep I've ever gotten. And one of the most vivid dreams. Pshh, Like why would Quincies ever Invade Hueco Mundo?' Ichigo thought as his eyes fluttered open.
...
...
...
...
A mop of Crimson disheveled hair was all he could see, and a blushing, panting mess that was Hephaestus was laying on Ichigo's stomach, parallel to him, with his...Member between her thighs.
"Ichigo~" Hephaestus whispered.
"Y-Yes?" Ichigo asked. Was she mad? But why is she blushing?
"You're not drunk anymore, right?" Hephaestus asked?
Ichigo looked at the woman curiously, and said "No wh-" And all of a sudden, he remembered mixing that drink last night and getting drunk off his ass. "-Yeah, no I'm not drunk. And I don't think I have a hangover either." Ichigo said, feeling great.
"Thats good...That's good..." Ichigo heard Hephaestus pant lowly.
"S-So...What's up?" Ichigo asked, as she looked up at him a bit quickly.
She didn't answer, instead she quickly reached down, ripped a hole in Ichigo's boxers, and pulled her panties aside and slid Ichigo's Entire manhood into her.
"H-Huh? Wait" Ichigo asked.
She stopped and pouted. "What is it?" Hephaestus asked.
"W-what's going on?" Ichigo asked.
Hephaestus gyrated her hips onto Ichigo's pelvis, pleasure exploding into their bodies as she said
"Ichigo...Last night, this little guy-" She said and hopped up and down, "Was in-between my thighs, where you shoved it. All night. I could not sleep, and I did not...Nghh...want to do anything to you without your consent." Hephaestus said, moving her hips up and down as she spoke.
Ichigo was speechless. Not complaining either.
"I..see. I'm sorry" He said as he thrusted into her, satisfying her craving for force.
"Do not be, just let me sleep after, okay?" she said, nibbling his neck.
Ichigo was absolutely in cloud 99. First, he wakes up from the best night's sleep in his life, and now he's getting the best thing he's ever experienced in life.
'I see this as an absolute win' Zangetsu said from inside his head.
Ichigo willed his thoughts to silence as Hephaestus did whatever she wanted to with Ichigo's body.
The bed creaked, cracked and splintered in some places from the sheer force she was riding him with.
She was loving every minute of it, and after an hour, it ended.
Hephaestus collapsed on top of a worn out Ichigo, and passed out then and there, as Ichigo himself just broke into a fit of silent laughter.
"Holy hell..." was all he could say.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
"Holy Hell..." Kisuke Urahara and Yoruichi Shihoin said in unison.
They had both entered the supervision office and switched on the hogyoku's feed, and caught the last remaining minutes of Ichigo's activity with Hephaestus.
"...Did you teach him that?" Kisuke asked the Flash Goddess.
Yoruichi said "Hell no, that boy-...man was such a prude when he was here! What happened?"
Kisuke ate some more noodles from his top ramen cup, and said "Maa Yoruichi-chan, sure you did! Don't you think showing him the goods all those times back then might have given him some ideas?"
Yoruichi gasped and said "That doesn't explain how he got such a damn hottie!"
Kisuke chuckled and said "Apparently, they're Married and expecting, from the footage I recovered from the Hogyoku."
Yoruichi laughed loudly and said "If only Isshin knew about this!"
Kisuke laughed along with her.
Their laughing lasted a while before they calmed down.
"say..Yoruichi, What's the status on Hueco mundo?" Urahara asked
Yoruichi looked away from the screen that showed Ichigo getting dressed.
"...Nothing new, The quincies are still interrogating Harribel.
"Such a shame, she was pretty too." Urahara said, garnering a slap from Yoruichi.
"Letcher!"
"Don't be like that, Yoruichi-chan, After all, You are the FLASH-goddess, you exhibitionist." Kisuke said, poking fun at her dislike of clothing.
And of course, this also gained Kisuke another slap.