There's no way love can make a person feel guilty, there's no way love can make a person wish they didn't know what love is. Love is supposed to be beautiful, colorful and most of all wonderful. It was Dan's mistake to choose the hurtful and most painful love. He chose the kind of love that no matter how much he loved, his love was never going to bear fruits. It's not like that was his first time falling in love, it just happened that this time, he could only watch his love and never experience it for his own. Dan stood outside the caravan as he heard the laughter coming from inside.
"Hey... stop it..." Mia's sweet voice refracted outside into his ears. The giggles, the sounds of the kisses all pierced right into his heart... Dan forced himself to stay and let his heart get pierced deeper and even more deeper till it lets go of the feelings that have been hurting him for some time. After all, he also deserved to laugh like they did, to hear his love's voice echoing in his ears. Not from another man's tickles but from him tickling. Until when was he going to accept the lying and the deceiving he's been torturing himself with.
He stood at the door with his hands trembling from the hurt, he pushed himself not to shed a single tear because it was absolutely true that he deserved it. He digested all sounds and actions he could hear. "Let it be a lesson to you Daniel..." he thought to himself. The set that day had suddenly ended earlier than usual, therefore, Dan thought maybe he'd finally get the chance to spend time with Mia whom he's fancied for quite sometime now. He was also aware of the ambiguous relationship she shared with the son of the sponsor of their movie, Tom. At times he found her crying her eyes out because of him, or even look extremely tired and out of shape.
He's not sure if Mia had ever caught the wind on his feelings for her at all. It's been a year since he saw her after all. Mia the rising star in Hollywood, the future and upcoming face of the movie industry. She had both looks and talent, both dedication and resilience. Most actresses envied the natural beauty and dared to compete with her yet she never needed competing. Mia was the public's favorite and the directors just hitched a free ride to blockbusters if they casted her in any of their movies. Mia as any actress or actor started at the bottom with child roles and support of support roles. However, she climbed the ranks one by one and is finally a few steps to the top.
In terms of scandals and dirty plays from her competitors, she wasn't left out as well. An article would pop out each month painting her dirt unhinged. Mia was in the news for breathing, for drinking a certain brand of coffee or even for feeding the cats in the streets or on set. All these were things the news houses or paparazzi speculated but Dan had witnessed it all personally. Dan loved Mia's laid back character despite her immense fame. He loved how she always spilt her ice cream cone because she couldn't focus on it. He loved her little habit of dancing during set brakes, her love for small animals and even her little panics when she was late on set. Mia with a sunshine personality always made Dan feel light and refreshed. With Dan's introvert personality, it wasn't very easy for him to make friends on set.
In fact, as a rookie actor, the best thing you can do is stay humble and never intrude. If you wish to survive in the industry for long, staying aloof was always the best solution. This was such a piece of cake to Dan, he could almost camouflage with silence in some instances. Staying invisible is something he's been doing all his life, the few years he's taken to acting were nothing.
However, things just changed when he started having all these feelings for Mia. He scolded himself several times and dared to never even let the wind know of his feelings towards her. How could he even dare to fall in love on set when the only thing he was supposed to do there was work? How could he even covet a star in the sky while being a rock on earth himself. Out of all the many handsome men that merry-go-rounded Mia, he was the least charming and the most talentless. In this entertainment industry, Dan was nothing compared to his current peers. It was his luck getting paired with her, if not, he wouldn't even dream of his name being placed next to her's. The director that casted him just suddenly ended up casting Dan just because he had all the similarities with the main character of the movie. However, he could see the difference in himself and the others despite landing the main role. Some even doubted the director's decision but thankfully he was a severely stubborn man. And so Dan became part of this particular movie.
While standing outside the caravan, he recalled all these moments. It was definitely a wake up call because at some point he forgot his place and dared to be greedy. He was thankful anyways, thankful that he was knocked into reality soon enough before he drowned even deeper and turned this into a feeling not obsessive but something similar to that. Love cannot be forced, it's something that happens.
From afar, Tim called him. He turned and stared at Tim who kept waving his hand, signaling where he was and asking him to approach. He took a final look at the door then headed where Tim was. As he walked, Tim saw how dejected he looked. Almost as if he had his heart broken for some reason.
"Are you ok?" Tim asks out of concern.
"How many scenes have I got left?"
"Umm... director said we were done for the day. That's why I called you to ask if you wanted to head home already..." Tim carefully answers.
"Yeah, let's go home... Am so tired today..." Dan answers in a flat tone.
"Well, you can head to the car... I'll grab your stuff and join you. But, are you sure you are ok?" Tim sounded worried.
"See you in the car Tim..." Dan says while walking away.
Tim runs and grabs several stuff then runs back to the car. In the car, Dan sat with his thoughts as he looked through the window. Suddenly, he saw a car approach, a black Ferrari with tinted windows slowly passed by his window. As the car passed, the window to the driver's seat slid down and the driver who had sunglasses on seemed to stare at him for a moment.
"What did it mean?" Dan thought, "That was clearly Tom's car?"
It took him a minute then he gasped out loud. His hand on his mouth and heart pounding like crazy, Tim surprised he asked, "What is it?"
Dan had been too freaked out he couldn't put his shock into words. Tim confused he murmured, "Why you acting weird today?"
All this happening was just too random for Tim. He always found Dan as the calm type, even when they scolded him or laughed at him... Dan would probably just forget it in a minute. However today, Dan looked especially dazed. As Dan's manager, this was a side he was seeing for the first time in the several years he's worked with him.
"I'm driving..." Tim alerted Dan yet again there was no feedback whatsoever.
In Dan's mind lined up several questions and that final look that Tom gave him could literally mean one thing, but...
In his ride back home, his mind and heart felt extremely restless. But why did he feel restless? In normal sense, Dan hadn't done anything he were to feel guilty for. If people were to be held accountable for their selfish feelings then many would've been victims. Dan has always kept his feelings to himself, no one knew and no one will because he decided to stay away and bury the feelings if need be.
Dan reached his house, he didn't even bother say goodbye to Tim despite him shouting he was leaving several times. As the night grew deeper, his thoughts deepened and finally returned to that one night a year ago...