Kakashi and Obito's team was a peculiar one. In a more conventional squad, the members would have likely gone their separate ways long ago.
In fact, if this squad had disbanded earlier, perhaps the three of them wouldn't have faced such tragic fates.
The little blond sensei (Minato) was essentially dragging three burdens across the battlefield nonstop.
Looking at the mission scroll in Jiraiya's hand, Hyuga Takashi raised an eyebrow and asked, "You've got a mission?"
"Huh?"
Jiraiya blinked, then grinned sheepishly. "Ahaha, yeah. I'm leading a small ninja squad to the frontlines. The Sand Ninjas have been invading the territory around our village. Things are getting pretty intense."
"Well, good luck with that. Hopefully, I don't see you in the medical ward. If you can help it, choose the ward over the morgue—the latter's not exactly lucky."
"Hey, hey, don't jinx me!" Jiraiya spat, glaring at Takashi. "What kind of blessing is that?"
"Oh, by the way, how's your book coming along?" Takashi asked casually.
Jiraiya's mood instantly brightened. "Still collecting material! I'm letting the ideas simmer before I continue writing."
Takashi smirked. "Well, keep it up! Maybe aim for something as classic as The Tale of Pure Bai Jie and Brave Ah Bin!"
"Wait, what? Bai Jie? Ah Bin? Who are they?" Jiraiya asked, puzzled.
"You don't know?" Takashi raised an eyebrow. "Wow. I thought you were well-read. Let me tell you about them—it might even inspire your next book."
Takashi began narrating the story. As Jiraiya listened, his expression shifted from curiosity to deep fascination. His dark complexion reddened, and he leaned forward, captivated yet embarrassed. His back hunched like a cooked shrimp, as though suppressing a strong reaction.
Jiraiya, the infamous pervy sage, looked utterly stunned.
Is he… actually excited by this?
Noticing Jiraiya's awkward posture and flustered expression, Takashi instinctively took a few steps back to put some distance between them.
"This story… it's amazing!" Jiraiya exclaimed. "I've decided—my next book's heroine will be her! Bai Jie! That's a fantastic name. And Ah Bin… no, no, that's too ordinary. I'll give him a better one."
Lost in his thoughts, Jiraiya's face grew redder, and his grin turned suspiciously lecherous. He even started drooling.
Hehe, writing this is going to be very fun.
Wait a minute. Did I just… corrupt Jiraiya?
Compared to what I'd read in my past life, the risqué tales in the ninja world are child's play—barely scratching the surface. But even this seems to set Jiraiya's imagination on fire. If I were to bring over some real classics from back then, it would probably blow everyone's minds.
"Hahaha! This story blends perfectly with my material!" Jiraiya burst out laughing, throwing his head back with his hands on his hips. Unfortunately, the conspicuous "tent" in his pants made the scene… quite uncomfortable.
"Lord Takashi, we need your help here—"
A young medic rushed into the room but froze in her tracks, her eyes falling on Jiraiya's unfortunate display. Her face turned beet red.
"Pervert!!!" she shrieked.
Jiraiya's laughter died immediately.
"No! I'm not a pervert! I swear! Let me explain—"
It was too late. The flustered medic fled the room, branding Jiraiya as a pervert for life.
"Takashi," Jiraiya pleaded desperately, "you'll back me up, won't you?"
Takashi glanced at the pot of medicine simmering on the stove.
"Oh look, my brew is ready. The patients need this," he said, swiftly picking up the pot and walking away.
Leaving Jiraiya to deal with his existential crisis, Takashi thought, Explain? How? Should I say, "I told him a risqué story, and now he's… excited"? That would make me just as guilty.
Within hours, the story of Jiraiya's "perverted" moment spread like wildfire through the medical ward. Medics, injured ninjas, and staff alike were all whispering about the "shameless pervert" in the rest area.
According to the rumor mill, he had strutted around in broad daylight with a "tent" in his pants for all to see.
Hearing the embellished tales, Takashi silently offered Jiraiya three seconds of pity.
It wasn't entirely his fault. But seriously—getting this worked up over a simple story? No wonder people think he's a pervert.
Fortunately, Jiraiya had endured plenty of embarrassing moments in his life. Though mortified at first, he eventually shook it off and returned to his usual carefree self.
Still, unwilling to linger at the camp, he quickly led his ninja squad to the frontlines, determined to distract himself with work.
Meanwhile, Takashi remained in the medical ward, busy treating patients.
"Hold still, brother. The broken kunai is stuck in your bone—it's going to take a bit of work to get it out."
With practiced precision, Takashi used his chakra scalpel to sever the pain nerves, then carefully extracted the weapon. After suturing the wound and applying a healing technique, the procedure was complete.
A kunai lodged in the ribcage wasn't the worst injury Takashi had seen.
One particularly unfortunate patient had been struck by a shuriken—in the butt. The placement was… awkward. If it had been just a couple of centimeters closer, the poor guy's rear exit might have been destroyed entirely.
When the unconscious man was brought in and his pants cut open for treatment, the sight drew a crowd of shocked medics.
Good thing he wasn't awake to witness it. If he'd known people were gawking at his backside, he might've fainted all over again.
"Lord Takashi, this patient's poison is spreading!"
"Lord Takashi, we have a critical injury here!"
"Lord Takashi—"
Late into the night, after finishing a long day's work, Takashi slumped in his chair, too exhausted to move. Orochimaru walked in, his mouth curled in a smile that nothing could wipe away.
It was clear he was in a good mood and had gained quite a bit.
Unfortunately, after a day of relentless work, Takashi had little energy left to discuss puppets with Orochimaru.