"Hey, Satoru, how do you feel about Uzumaki Naruto?" A figure appeared instantly beside him. With long white hair and dressed in red and brown clothes—an "oil" symbol engraved on his forehead protector—it was none other than Jiraiya, one of the legendary Sannin!
Shiratori Satoru looked at Naruto in the distance and smiled slightly. "He's a very sunny boy. If I were him, I might have already destroyed this village."
He knew what Uzumaki Naruto had endured—bullying since childhood, rejection from villagers, manipulation by the Third Hokage, and constant scrutiny from Danzo. Was this what a child should experience? If he were in Naruto's shoes, he would have certainly turned dark.
"Hahaha! If that's the case, even if it costs me my life, I'll stop you!" Jiraiya laughed heartily while patting Satoru on the shoulder. It seemed like a joke but held serious undertones.
"The Fourth Hokage and his wife hoped that people would see Naruto as a hero for sealing the Nine Tails." Shiratori Satoru took out a lollipop and popped it into his mouth; no lower limit spell came without mental strain—sugar was necessary.
"But what's the truth? Those old fogies in charge have always wanted to mould Naruto into a weapon for the village."
"Naruto has been oppressed since childhood and labelled as an evil fox—but only a few were present when the Nine Tails were sealed."
Satoru pointed at Jiraiya with his lollipop. "Why does everyone know Uzumaki Naruto as Nine Tails Jinchūriki?"
Jiraiya fell silent.
"That's right; you know who I'm talking about." Satoru tapped Jiraiya's heart with his finger while hanging onto the lollipop. "This narrative was spread by the Third Hokage. As everyone hates Naruto, their so-called 'Will of Fire' becomes their only salvation."
"The Will of Fire has good intentions—uniting those who hate each other—but extremes can lead to disaster," Satoru said with a light smile. "The old folks have really put the cart before the horse."
"Of course, this doesn't concern me directly," he added with a slight pause before his expression turned dangerously serious. "But if it affects Tsunade, I will destroy this village."
Tsunade was not just his adoptive mother; she was someone he deeply respected.
"Hahaha! Scary boy! I can't chase Tsunade without you! Recently, I've shifted my focus to a beautiful woman in Longren Village!" Jiraiya scratched his head and laughed heartily.
Though he appeared carefree, Jiraiya understood Satoru well. If Tsunade was ever in danger, Satoru would act decisively.
"Is she pretty?" Satoru asked with curiosity.
"She's stunning!" Jiraiya replied enthusiastically. "The front is so big; the back is so big! Only 800 ryō for a night…amazing!" He gestured wildly.
"I'll take you to meet her when I get the chance," he promised with a pat on his chest.
Satoru chuckled at memories of sneaking out for drinks as an adult—how Tsunade had chased him down after discovering his antics!
"I'm glad you're here," Jiraiya said seriously. "I've discovered Uchiha Itachi's whereabouts; he seems to have joined a mysterious organization."
"I'll take care of Tsunade," Satoru assured him with a wave.
Jiraiya smirked slightly. "I didn't mean for you to babysit Tsunade, I meant for you to look after Naruto! I'm just going to investigate, don't act like I'm off to die!"
With that, Jiraiya vanished in an instant.
"If things get too troublesome," Shiratori Satoru muttered as he stretched and pulled out "Kissing Heaven", an infamous book known for its risqué content—very pornographic and violent but worth watching!
...
The next morning dawned bright and clear over Konoha. Excitement buzzed through the village as new Genin prepared for their first day as ninjas—everyone except Class 7!
"I... I'm going to starve! So sleepy... so hungry... I want my ramen!" Uzumaki Naruto lay sprawled on the ground looking utterly defeated after arriving fifteen minutes late at 7:15 AM.
He rushed to avoid being stripped of his Genin status but never expected that Shiratori Satoru wouldn't even be there!
Uchiha Sasuke leaned against a tree trunk with an air of indifference. "Hmph! What can someone who's late on their first day teach me?"
"Don't say that! Mr. Shiratori might be dealing with something," Haruno Sakura forced a smile but felt her own frustration rising.
It was now 7:30 AM—what was taking their teacher so long?
Time dragged on until it finally hit eight o'clock—an entire hour wasted waiting for their teacher!
Naruto groaned from the ground. "That bastard Teacher Satoru! If I'd known this would happen, I would've eaten ramen!"
"I'm leaving," Sasuke declared as he stood up.
"Sasuke! We need to wait! If we leave now, we might lose our Genin status!" Sakura pleaded while clutching her stomach that growled audibly.
"Shut up, ugly girl! Even if I don't become a ninja, I'll gain power!" Sasuke shot back coldly.
(A/N: LOL)
"Ugly... ugly girl?" Sakura's face darkened as she raised her fist but hesitated upon seeing Sasuke's handsome face.
Damn it!
Suddenly inspired by an idea, she squeezed her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe this is all part of a test! Teacher Shiratori could be testing our endurance!"
Everyone paused at her words; both Naruto and Sasuke perked up at the possibility that they were already being evaluated as ninjas.
After all, how could such a dignified Jōnin be late?
.
.
...
(A/N: How's it)