The day began as it always did. I watched Piku laugh with our classmates, carefree as ever, unaware of the memories etched into my mind like scars. The echoes of our rooftop encounter lingered, haunting me with the weight of actions no one else remembered. I clenched my fists, the memory of his blood on my hands as vivid as ever.
And yet, here he was, alive, blissfully unaware. I'd lost count of how many times we'd danced this same deadly waltz, his laughter morphing from a comfort to a curse.
I felt like I was about to lose my sanity.
Throughout the morning, every glance he gave, every innocent word he spoke gnawed at me. I could feel the darkness twisting inside, like a parasite, tainting every thought. Piku's voice faded into the background, blending with the sounds around me, and my mind drifted to the only thing I'd come to dread more than the cycle itself—the girl.
No matter how many times I faced her, she was always waiting, a silent witness to my failures, a voice woven with poison, urging me to confront the shadows within.
---
Later, on the rooftop at lunch, I was alone—Piku had left to talk to someone else. I welcomed the solitude, sinking to the ground and running my hands through my hair.
"Giving up so soon?" Her voice floated down, soft and mocking.
I didn't look up. "Isn't that what you want?"
She laughed, a sound that cut deep. "Want? No, Takeru. This isn't about me—it's about you and what you're willing to do to break free."
I exhaled, anger bubbling beneath the surface. "I've tried everything. I fight it, I resist, but… no matter what, it always ends the same."
"That's because you're fighting yourself, Takeru." She stepped closer, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her kneel beside me, a strange softness in her gaze. "You're convinced that this darkness is some enemy, something outside of you that you can overcome or avoid. But what if it isn't?"
The words lingered, unsettling. "Then what is it?"
She tilted her head, studying me. "It's a part of you. The anger, the resentment… it's all yours, Takeru. You've been trying to kill it or ignore it, but maybe the answer is to understand it."
My throat tightened. "Understand it? All it does is make me want to hurt the people I care about."
She raised an eyebrow. "Or is that because you keep pretending it doesn't exist? You've let it fester, grow. You think that because Piku's happy, you can't be? Or maybe you believe that because you struggle, others shouldn't find joy?"
I flinched, her words cutting through my defenses. "So… what? I'm supposed to embrace this darkness, let it consume me?"
"Not embrace," she said, her tone gentler now. "Accept. Acknowledge that it's there, that it's part of who you are. And maybe, just maybe, it won't control you anymore."
---
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, but I stayed rooted in place, her words echoing in my mind. It felt impossible—accepting the thing that had dragged me through this endless nightmare.
But as I rose and made my way back to class, I felt something shift, the barest crack in the cycle's iron grip. The weight of my resentment felt a little lighter, like I was finally beginning to understand my own darkness, even if the path forward remained uncertain.