The first monster Max faced in the assessment was a training golem: six feet of enchanted stone designed to test basic combat abilities. Most participants approached it with their weapons drawn, demonstrating the proper stances and techniques they'd learned.
Max approached it with a bucket of mud.
"This is not going to work," Griffin muttered from the sidelines, watching as Max dragged his bucket—a contraption he'd cobbled together from tree bark and sap—toward the golem.
"PARTICIPANT READY?" the automated assessment voice boomed.
"Almost!" Max called out, mixing his carefully collected varieties of dirt with water from his canteen. The golem stood perfectly still, its glowing eyes tracking Max's movements with what almost looked like confusion.
"What exactly is your plan here?" Elara asked, genuinely curious despite herself.
"Simple," Max replied, continuing to stir his mud mixture. "The golem's joints are its weak point. Everyone knows that—it was probably mentioned in the combat tutorial I skipped. So, if I can get enough mud into those joints..." He trailed off, focused on getting his mixture to just the right consistency.
"BEGINNING ASSESSMENT IN 3... 2... 1..."
The golem lurched forward, its stone fists raised in a basic attack pattern. Max immediately dove to the side, rolling in a way that would have made his combat instructors wince. As he moved, he swung his bucket, sending a wave of specially prepared mud toward the golem's legs.
To everyone's surprise—especially Max's—it worked. The golem's joints began to grind and stutter as the mud seeped into the gaps between its stones. Each step became more labored until finally, it ground to a halt, frozen in mid-stride.
```
Assessment Update:
Combat Challenge 1: COMPLETED
Method: Environmental Advantage
Note: Unconventional strategy detected. Adjusting difficulty...
```
"I can't believe that actually worked," Griffin said, shaking his head. "What are you going to do for the next challenge? Throw your pinecone collection at it?"
Max's eyes lit up. "Actually..."
The next opponent was a spectral wolf, designed to test agility and reaction time. Participants were expected to demonstrate proper footwork and defensive maneuvers.
Max demonstrated the aerodynamic properties of pinecones.
"The trick," he explained as he pelted the confused spirit wolf with his carefully curated collection, "is using the ones that are slightly opened. They're lighter, so you can throw more at once."
The wolf, more bewildered than hurt, kept trying to dodge the barrage of flying pinecones. In its confusion, it backed straight into a trap Max had hastily constructed from vines and those "suspicious-looking leaves" he'd collected earlier.
```
Assessment Update:
Combat Challenge 2: COMPLETED
Method: Resource Utilization
Note: Please refer to proper combat techniques in future assessments...
```
By the time Max reached the final challenge—a test of overall combat prowess against a training dummy—he had used:
- Three types of dirt
- Seventeen pinecones
- One bundle of "definitely not magical" sticks
- Various rocks of "historic significance"
- Something he swore was fairy dust but was probably just sparkly sand
- And one very confused squirrel that had been nesting in cart two
"FINAL ASSESSMENT COMPLETE," the automated voice announced, sounding almost resigned.
```
Final Assessment Results:
Combat Form: F
Technique: F
Proper Equipment Usage: F
Resource Management: A+
Creative Problem Solving: A+
Overall Grade: C-
Special Achievements Unlocked:
"Outside the Box" - Complete all combat challenges without using standard combat techniques
"Resource Hoarder Supreme" - Use over 50 different collected items in a single assessment
"Squirrel Whisperer" - First recorded use of local wildlife in assessment history
Note: While participant has technically passed, strong recommendation for combat technique review.
Additional Note: Please return the squirrel.
```
As Max triumphantly headed back to his convoy, Elara and Griffin fell into step beside him.
"You do realize," Elara said, trying not to smile, "that you could have just used your sword like everyone else?"
"Boring," Max replied, already thinking about restocking his depleted inventory. "Besides, did you see how well that mud mixture worked? I bet if I collect more of that reddish dirt from the combat area and mix it with—"
"Max," Griffin interrupted, "we have two more assessments today. Please tell me you're not going to—"
"Of course I am! I still have two whole carts of unused materials!" Max's eyes gleamed with possibilities. "You know, I bet those dead beetles would make excellent distractions..."
"They're not dead!" Elara and Griffin corrected in unison, but Max was already running back to his convoy, mentally calculating how many beetles it would take to create a proper beetle-based smokescreen.
Behind them, the assessment instructors were huddled together, frantically rewriting the rules to specifically prohibit the use of insects, dirt, pinecones, and unauthorized squirrels in future combat evaluations.
Max, of course, didn't notice. He was too busy wondering if the next assessment would allow him to use his collection of "tactically significant" pebbles.
He had so many pebbles.
So, so many pebbles.