It takes me half an hour to get to the pizza place where I'm supposed to meet Kaylee. I try not to think too much about Derek during the short-ish trip, but my emotions are a mess. Every few seconds I feel tempted to check my phone, just to make sure he hasn't messaged me again.
Only when I get to the restaurant do I allow myself a glance. I've kept my phone on silent like I always do at work. Derek has texted me again, and so has Kaylee.
I force myself to read Kaylee's first.
*r u gonna b here soon??? waiting*
I roll my eyes fondly and send her a simple *y* as confirmation, then I wrestle with myself over braving my chain with Derek. I can't resist.
*don't punish me like this, babe*
The message makes my stomach twinge. It's hard to read his tone. This could be exasperated or annoyed. It could also be pleading. Or furious.
Within seconds, I'm trying to come up with other instances where Derek might have said something similar, but I can't. Nothing comes to mind. Usually when we fight, Derek pulls away. He'll tell me that he needs time and space and that always hurts because I'd rather be working through things together.
The last big argument we had was months ago when Derek got a huge speeding ticket. It'd been a shitty day at work and I'd been passive-aggressive about it, annoyed with him for being so reckless. It hadn't been about the cost of the ticket at all, it'd been about him driving dangerously. I don't drive. I'm actually pretty scared of it after what had happened to my parents and he knows that. He still acted like I was being irrational and naggy.
He walked out on me during the fight and didn't come back until the next day. Afterwards he told me he'd spent the night at his parents' place. I never questioned it. Those are not happy memories so I push them away.
Whatever is going on with Derek right now, I know I'll feel better once I've talked to Kaylee about everything. I walk up to the restaurant, forcing myself to be in the here and now and not let my worries drag me down unhappy memory lane.
Teddy's is one of those little Chicago joints that's had a thousand lives, yet somehow, always kind of stayed the same at its heart. The sign outside still reads *Teddy's Pizza & Pasta* in the blocky, slightly faded font that hasn't been updated in at least twenty years.
For as long as I can remember, Teddy's has been a revolving door of owners trying to give it a makeover—first a full-on Italian trattoria, then a sports bar with TVs hanging in every corner, and now it's landed somewhere between family-owned pizzeria and cozy neighborhood hangout.
Inside, the lighting is low, which gives it a half-accidental sense of charm. But if you know the place as well as I do, you understand it's to make the stains less obvious.
Booths line the walls, their cracked, red vinyl seats patched up with black tape that's more nostalgic than functional at this point. There are framed pictures of old Chicago everywhere, and in the back corner, a dusty photo of a big bearded guy who I assume must be *Teddy*—though who knows which owner named it that.
The tables are dark, polished wood, heavy and a little scarred, each one topped with mismatched salt shakers and cheese dispensers caked with that stubborn layer of grated parmesan dust.
Despite all the changes over the years, the place always has the same comforting smell, a mix of garlic, melted cheese, and sweet tomato sauce that settles around you the second you walk in.
The deep-dish pizza here is still the same old-school recipe, with a crust so thick it's almost like a pie crust, buttery and crispy on the edges. They load it with mozzarella that stretches like taffy when you pull a slice, and each bite is a reminder of why people actually wait in line for this kind of pizza.
When I spot Kaylee already sitting in one of the far booths, looking down at her phone, I feel a pang of nostalgia. Teddy's has been our spot through every strange, rebranded version of itself, a convenient place to meet when she's home visiting her parents.
And now, just seeing her here—close to the house we grew up running to on weekends—makes me feel like a kid again, like nothing has really changed.
It's a bittersweet feeling, one that makes my heart seize. I catch myself wishing I could step into a time machine and be eighteen again, but of course that's not possible. I have to make the best of where I am now, changes and all.
I walk over to the booth and Kaylee looks up. Her face breaks into a grin when she sees me. She's wearing the same outfit she did earlier, and why shouldn't she? Teddy's is one of many somewhat grimy but still charming Chicago places, no dressing up required or even appreciated.
"Took you long enough," she greets me with good-natured gruff as I slide into the seat opposite her.
"So?" she spreads her hands on the table, palms up, as if expecting a gift. "Fill me in, Skye."
I huff a huge sigh and am instantly rescued by the waitress who sidles up to us, cheery smile fixed on her face, pen and notepad raised like weapons for battle.
"Hi, what can I get you ladies?"
Kaylee clocks my relief and smirks. Her eyes are on the prize and she's not giving me a break until she's heard the whole story. She rattles off orders for both of us without even glancing at the menu and as soon as the waitress has jotted everything down and turns on her heel, Kaylee's eyes are on me again.
"Come on," she prompts, "what happened?"
Haltingly, I recount it all again. The cake tasting, Emily, my heartbreak, the miserable career presentation I gave, how it led to me finding the notebook and then how I did what she'd told me to do.
"I tried the spell." I roll my eyes as I say it, trying to convey that I didn't do it because I believed in it. "I followed the instructions in the notebook and like five minutes later, Derek called, begging me to give him another chance. He was..." I don't even know how to describe it. "... really upset and emotional and I just couldn't send him away."
It's an understatement that doesn't even come close to conveying the state Derek was in.
"Huh," Kaylee says. "So... do we think--?"
"No, nu-uh," I interrupt her, then stop myself as the waitress returns with our drinks. I wait for her to set down my diet coke and Kaylee's bottle of beer before shaking my head. I touch a droplet of condensation on my glass and idly trace a path across the smooth, cool surface with my fingertip.
"I mean, geez, Kaylee, that's crazy."
She just shrugs and nurses her beer.
"It's what you wished for."
"So? It's a coincidence. Derek was stewing all day, sitting around with his parents or whoever." *Emily?* My brain supplies, unbidden, and I wince a little, wishing I could stomp on the thought and crush it beneath my heel.
"Anyway," I catch myself, "he obviously regretted the way he treated me. He apologized, we kind of made up... and now..." My words taper off. I can't think of a way to explain this new weird now.
"Are you seriously just going to take him back? Did he even tell you how far this thing with Emily the clown went?" Kaylee lobs the two questions at me like we're bitter rivals at Wimbledon.
"I...I... um..." I take a quick drink to buy me some time. The diet coke prickles on my tongue. "He told me it was nothing." Not exactly what he said, but also not entirely untrue. Kaylee continues to stare at me in disbelief.
"Skye..." She leans back in the booth, the vinyl creaks. Laughter drifts through the restaurant. "Tell me you got a good explanation. Anything that would justify what he did to you." Her gaze is searching, piercing blue eyes on me like spotlights. I squirm under the scrutiny.
"He had cold feet. He freaked out, lost his nerve... I don't know." I want to throw up my hands at Kaylee's disappointed face. "I can't toss away a relationship of five years because of one bad day!"
"Uhhh, yeah, you can, you should. I mean by that logic you could say, hey, think about all the days he *didn't* cheat on me!"
"He didn't cheat. He told me that he might be developing feelings for someone else, that's all." Shit, saying it aloud makes it sound like a much bigger deal than I want it to be.
Kaylee cocks her head in that *bitch please* way that she has.
"Do you like actually hear yourself?" she drawls, eyeing me with undisguised pity.
I deflate, my righteous indignation withering like a flower left unwatered for weeks. "Yeah, I do, but I still love him. I want to try again." Those are facts I can't change. The love is still there; it didn't just evaporate the moment Derek hurt me, that's sadly not how that works. I love him, I want him. I can't give up.
We sit in silence while the waitress brings out the food. Once she's gone again and I have a deep-dish pepperoni pizza with a side of fries sitting in front of me, I still don't know what else to tell Kaylee.
Well, except for the obvious, somewhat scary stuff.
I draw in a breath, savoring the aroma of my food. My stomach grumbles and I remember that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. I pick at the pile of fries, nibbling the ends until they're all little stubs before I give up and reach for my fork. The deep-dish pizza is delicious as always, thick and gooey with cheese, but while it should be exactly what I want, I'm still too troubled to really enjoy it.
I have to tell Kaylee what's been bothering me regarding Derek's apology. So I tentatively start telling her about how Derek is all clingy now, super intense and full of promises.
"He sent me five texts while I was at work," I finish lamely, wondering if I'm the one who's going crazy.
"Wait, Derek did?" Kaylee asks, eyebrows raised. "Didn't he just wordlessly dip from the wedding group text the other day?"
"Yeah," I mumble, "he's never been big on texting. It's like he did a complete 180 last night."
"And you don't think it's just guilt? Or he's trying to manipulate you?"
I sigh, glancing at my barely touched Diet Coke. "Maybe? But… he's just so different. Five minutes after I'd tried the stupid spell, he called, completely beside himself and then he came running back to me, literally."
I take a bite of pizza, mostly to avoid her skeptical look. Kaylee shakes her head and takes another pull from her beer, clearly enjoying the familiar ambience of Teddy's. "So, what are you saying? You think that spell actually worked?"
I chew, trying to arrange my thoughts.
"I don't *want* to think that," I say slowly. "I'd love it if I could write this off as him just feeling guilty or whatever. But it's… unnerving. Every time I turn around, it's like he's there, texting or calling, just *waiting.* I... I actually don't think he even went to work today." He was still hanging around the apartment in his sweatpants when I left for the library.
Kaylee's lips twist into a thoughtful frown. "Well, the way I see it, there's only one way to know for sure if that notebook's legit."
I stare at her. "Kaylee…"
She shrugs, unbothered. "Just saying, if it worked once, try it again with something different. Something that would never happen under normal circumstances. Just…" She waves her hand dismissively. "Ask for something so out there only magic could have caused it. See if it comes true."
I toy with my straw, watching as a few soda bubbles rise to the top. "I don't believe magic made Derek come back to me, that'd be insane," I say, even as a sliver of doubt creeps into my heart and the idea of trying the spell one more time plants itself firmly in my mind.
"Right. So, do it and prove it to yourself." She reaches across the table, grabbing a fry from my plate like it's her god-given right. "Besides, if you don't test it, you'll just sit around worrying about what might or might not be going on with Derek. You've got nothing to lose."
Which is exactly what she told me the first time. It's one of Kaylee's favorite questions: *What do you actually have to lose, Skye?*
She pops the fry into her mouth, throwing me a look that is pure challenge. "And anyway, you know I'm dying to see if you can conjure up something."
Despite myself, I feel the faintest glimmer of curiosity sparking beneath the worry. "Fine," I mutter, mostly to keep her from looking so smug. "One small test. Nothing big. And if it doesn't work, we can laugh about it, and I'll move on." Though I can't even imagine what moving on might look like.
Kaylee grins, her expression wolfish as she goes for my plate again. "You know it can't be something small, Skye. Let's do it together this time, I already know exactly what to wish for."