During the Lunar New Year, the city of Taipei, known as the City That Never Sleeps, sheds its vibrant neon lights. At this time, most of the city's densely packed population has left, with only a few remaining—those who wish to leave later to avoid traffic or the homeless without a place to go.
Of course, the true-blue locals of Taipei remain, including Ouyang Xiaoqing and her family.
In previous years, her two good friends would stay in Taipei to celebrate the holiday together, but this year—
They were nearing thirty, and their boyfriends had grown impatient. Lei Ziping had managed to lure Ren Qiumi to the U.S. to spend the holiday with his parents, while Jiang Yizhou was being held captive by Jiang Yunxiao on Yangmingshan.
So this year, it was just her and the two kids celebrating the New Year.
"Mommy, I'm so bored." Little Kaiyin rubbed her eyes and yawned. "I'm so bored I want to sleep."
"Come on, Mommy will take you to sleep."
"Okay." Little Kaiyin let her mother hold her hand as they walked into the room.
Once she settled the kids, the house was filled with silence, leaving her alone to bear the loneliness.
Ouyang Xiaoqing remembered her childhood, leaning against the windowsill, waiting for her mother to come home from work. She had tasted the loneliness and solitude of that wait many times; every time she faced the empty house alone, she would envision a wild beast looming before her, its terrifying jaws wide open, intent on swallowing her whole.
Now, she had grown into an adult—a twenty-nine-year-old with two children—but as time passed and she accumulated experiences, that loneliness still held a destructive power over her.
The loneliness of being alone... it felt suffocating. She didn't want to experience this terrifying feeling of solitude, especially on this cold, rainy night.
She gently lifted the curtain to look outside. The dim streetlights filled two-thirds of her window, while the shadow of a person under the streetlight, receiving the rain, occupied her entire line of sight—Du Yuheng!
During the New Year season, most bars and coffee shops closed their doors, but a few remained open for business.
This PUB near National Taiwan University on Roosevelt Road was packed with urban men and women who seemed oblivious to the holiday spirit. Du Yuheng was one of them.
He wasn't homeless; it was just that he was the only one left at home, and whether he was there or not didn't matter. Besides, he was feeling troubled. After returning home for over three months, he had either been busy with Taiwan's business or dealing with the American branch. His spare time was consumed by the kids and Ouyang Xiaoqing—after three months of thinking, he still hadn't come up with any solution.
"Is there no way other than marriage?" he muttered to himself.
The last time he saw Ouyang Xiaoqing was two months ago; afterward, he was preoccupied with year-end company accounts and trade planning, leaving no time to visit her and the kids.
In truth, he didn't want to visit her either. Until he figured out a plan, he feared he would be unable to resist recognizing the kids, which might bring unnecessary trouble to Ouyang Xiaoqing.
Du Yuheng lightly tapped the bar table and ordered another gin.
"Sir, you're going to get drunk," the bartender advised. "You've already had three drinks; that's enough."
Du Yuheng glared at him with a fierce expression.
The bartender shrugged and reluctantly poured another drink.
The loud rock music was assaulting everyone's ears, but no one minded; after all, it was the New Year, and it was supposed to be lively. Who cared if it hurt their ears? Indulging in revelry was essential to the holiday atmosphere.
However, the noise diminished significantly by the L-shaped bar, as the speakers and the bar were positioned at the farthest diagonal points. Du Yuheng sat there for this reason.
Silently sipping half his drink, he tapped the table again.
"Are you married?" Du Yuheng suddenly asked.
"Eh?" The bartender was taken aback for a moment before smiling. "Yes! I even have a daughter."
"Oh?" Du Yuheng looked up, noticing the bartender was burly but wore a proud smile, complete with dimples.
"My daughter is three years and seven months old, and she's as beautiful as her mother." Fortunately, she didn't inherit his physique. "When she smiles, she has cute little dimples on her cheeks."
"Oh." Kaiyin and Kaifeng didn't seem to have dimples.
"But I don't plan to have my wife get pregnant again." He was satisfied with just having one beautiful daughter.
"Why?"
"You don't know—" The bartender poured the cocktail he had just mixed and, handing it over to a waitress, leaned against the bar to chat with Du Yuheng. "Women really go through hell to have children! I was in the delivery room when my daughter was born, watching my wife scream, see her water break, see the child being delivered... it was bloody. Can you believe it? I felt dizzy just watching. It was so painful to give birth that I don't want my wife to go through it again, to hurt once more. But she plans to have another one—how strange is that? It's obvious it hurts more than being run over by a truck, yet she's willing to endure it again. Women, they say they're weak, but they're often braver than us men when it comes to pain—it's really odd." He chuckled as he spoke.
"What are you laughing about?" Du Yuheng asked.
"Women really are silly. For the man they love, they can endure any pain." He was also silly, willingly stepping out of the world he thrived in to become a stable, ordinary person for the woman he loved.
"Are women willing to have children for love?"
"Otherwise, for what?" The bartender poured himself another drink. "A woman having a child for a man means she loves him dearly; otherwise, why would she risk her life to bring that child into the world?"
"Love, huh…" Was Ouyang Xiaoqing the same? No, that couldn't be; they had only met once, after all. But why was there another voice inside him arguing against his certainty?
Realizing this inner conflict left Du Yuheng feeling flustered. He hurriedly threw down a thousand-dollar bill and got up to leave. "No change needed."
When Du Yuheng realized where he was, he found himself soaked.
In the pouring rain, Ouyang Xiaoqing stood before him holding an umbrella. "Why are you standing out here in the rain?" It was so cold; why was he out there?
Fortunately, she had pushed the curtain aside to see him; otherwise, he didn't know how long he would have stood there.
"Can we go inside?" Without waiting for his answer, she held the umbrella in one hand and took his hand with the other, leading him into her apartment.
"Sorry, I don't have any clothes that fit you," Ouyang Xiaoqing said apologetically, looking at Du Yuheng, who had just walked out of the bathroom wearing only a men's bathrobe. This robe was one she had won in a raffle at the department store, and she had thought she would never use it, planning to cut it up for rags in a few days.
"Don't worry; I've already put your clothes in the dryer, and they'll be ready soon."
She turned into the kitchen and brought out a bowl of ginger soup. "Drinking this will warm you up."
He took it and looked up at her.
"Don't you like it?" She had been silent since he walked in, her expression so serious it was scary.
"It's not that I don't like it." He took a sip of the ginger soup, the spiciness making him grimace.
Ouyang Xiaoqing sat on a stool across from him, watching as he drank the ginger soup sip by sip.
The room was so quiet that even the sound of the dripping faucet could be heard, heavy like the rainy season in summer.
"Uh…" She needed to find a topic to talk about; it felt awkward like this.
"Are the kids asleep?" Before she could think of something to say, Du Yuheng spoke first.
"They're all asleep," she replied. "Do you want to see how they look when they're sleeping?"
It would be a lie to say she didn't want to, but it wasn't appropriate at the moment. "No need," he answered, and the atmosphere became tense again.
But this time, Ouyang Xiaoqing thought of something to say. "Why were you out in the rain?"
"I came to see you."
"For the kids?" Their connection seemed to revolve around that.
"No." He shook his head. "For you and me."
Ouyang Xiaoqing felt a jolt of fear. "What do you mean?"
"Tell me, is the only reason you had children because you wanted company? Nothing else?"
"I… I…" Ouyang Xiaoqing stood up, stepping back repeatedly.
"I need to know what you truly think." Seeing the expression on her face, could it be…
"Is there no other reason?" Du Yuheng also stood up, walking toward her.
"This… this… I…"
"Tell me, is it because—"
"It's not!" Before he could finish, Ouyang Xiaoqing interrupted him, her face flushed like she was drunk.
"It's not what?" Her quick denial raised suspicion.
"It's not… it's not…" She couldn't articulate it, no matter how hard she tried.
The feelings buried deep inside her heart were impossible to excavate and express all at once; she couldn't do it.
Du Yuheng moved closer to her, his eyes glowing with an unusual light, his body radiating warmth.
"You—" Before he could finish his sentence, Du Yuheng stumbled forward, collapsing onto Ouyang Xiaoqing, pushing her down. "Ah!" His body was so hot! Even through their clothes, she could feel his unusually high temperature.
Having drunk alcohol and gotten soaked in the cold rain, it was no wonder such a strong man like Du Yuheng had fallen ill with a fever to the point of fainting.
"Doctor, thank you. I'm sorry to bother you on New Year's Day," Ouyang Xiaoqing said apologetically.
"It's no trouble at all!" The old doctor packed his medical bag and waved his hand dismissively. "Don't mention it. Oh! Make sure he takes his medicine on time, let him sweat, and don't let him get cold. This year's flu is serious."
"I know." Ouyang Xiaoqing silently repeated the doctor's instructions in her mind.
After sending the doctor off, she carried a basin of water and grabbed a towel, heading into her bedroom—she had let the sick Du Yuheng lie on her bed. She wrung out the towel and placed it on his forehead, sitting beside him, her eyes filled with inexplicable affection.
He looked peaceful in his sleep, his normally stern features softened by slumber, though his brows were still furrowed, as if even in sleep he was troubled.
That year, she watched him for a long time. She wanted to remember him for life, not out of love, but because he was the first man she had ever been close to; also, because of his rare beauty. He wasn't extraordinarily handsome, but his presence complemented the impression he left.
She had fallen for him, but it wasn't a fleeting infatuation, nor was it a sudden desire after a night of passion; rather, she loved him through their children, via the bond created through motherhood.
During her pregnancy, she was filled with a mix of fear about the uncertain future and joy from imagining the child's face based on his features.
She often wondered whom the child would resemble, and in doing so, she often thought of him. It wasn't until the child was born that she started to look for his traits in the baby's features and expressions, only to realize that, unbeknownst to her, she had already fallen in love with him. She believed this love would last; admitting it was difficult, yet denying it was contrary to her honest nature. In the end, she chose to quietly accept it in her heart, thinking she would never see him again.
However, fate often plays tricks on people rather than obeying them.
She buried the memory of Du Yuheng deep in her mind, but he suddenly appeared in her life again, shattering the calm she had painstakingly built, like ice breaking apart in a flowing river.
She had had children to have family, yet fell in love with him because of those children. Should she even speak of this feeling?
To him, she was probably just one of many women in his life, and because she had his children, he had no choice but to remember her.
Ouyang Xiaoqing smiled at herself bitterly. Compared to his obligation, her feelings seemed trivial.
A CEO of a large corporation! And she? Just another ordinary person among the masses.
Yes, everyone knows the story of Cinderella, where a sparrow turns into a phoenix; it's a hope every woman shares. But the question is, are there really that many princes? In a world of scarcity, not every woman can fit into a glass slipper. And she never thought she had the perfect feet for it.
Just sitting beside him and watching him was enough to satisfy her, no matter the reason for his presence.
Bang!
"Shh! Be careful; it would be terrible if you woke Mommy!" Little Kaiyin crawled quietly across the floor.
"Okay." Little Kaifeng followed suit, imitating her.
The two little ones crawled to the edge of the bed, peering at the man lying there.
"Is that Uncle Du!?" Little Kaifeng whispered excitedly.
Little Kaiyin nodded, noticing the towel on Du Yuheng's forehead. She remembered her mother using a similar towel when both she and Kaifeng were sick, so her little mind concluded—Uncle Du was sick.
"Uncle Du is sick; how pitiful." Mommy was still over there sleeping.
Ding! A light bulb went off in his head. "Feng, let's play doctor!"
"Okay." Little Kaifeng nodded. He loved playing games with his sister.
The sounds of their voices gradually stirred Du Yuheng awake, little by little—until he felt someone pinching his nose, making it hard to breathe, which finally jolted him awake.
As soon as he opened his eyes, he was startled to see two little faces in front of him, and it took a moment to realize where he was.
"Ah, Uncle Du is still alive," Little Kaifeng reported to his sister, who was pretending to be the doctor.
"Good," Little Kaiyin nodded seriously, mimicking their grandfather's doctorly tone. "Then a shot will make you better." She handed her brother a mechanical pencil to use as a syringe.
"Yes, Doctor."
"What are you two doing?" Du Yuheng asked softly, allowing Little Kaifeng to poke him with the pencil.
"Uncle Du, you're sick," Little Kaifeng said, his big eyes filled with sympathy. "I'm helping you get a shot. Mommy said it will make you better faster."
Du Yuheng couldn't help but laugh at his serious expression. So, he was sick—he hadn't been ill in decades…
"Do you feel better?" Little Kaiyin reached out to touch his forehead. "Not hot, not hot, you must be better."
Her small, fair hand gently caressed his forehead; it would be a lie to say he wasn't moved. Ouyang Xiaoqing had taught them well about caring for others. Then he noticed Ouyang Xiaoqing sleeping by the bed and the basin of water on the nightstand. She had been taking care of him all this time…
"Uncle Du, does your head hurt?" Little Kaifeng asked from beside the bed. "If it hurts, I'll tell Kaiyin to give you another shot."
"No, thank you." Du Yuheng ruffled Little Kaifeng's hair. "Thank you, Kaifeng." His son.
He got up and noticed Ouyang Xiaoqing was still curled up sleeping, clearly exhausted.
Du Yuheng tiptoed to her side, gently lifted her back into bed, and covered her with the blanket.
He had never cared for anyone like this before, but trying it out for the first time—it felt good.
Little Kaiyin and Little Kaifeng peered at their sleeping mommy and at the sick Uncle Du. Suddenly, Little Kaiyin asked, "Uncle, will you marry my mommy?"
Uncle Du and Mommy were both very good-looking.
Marry? This question had been asked too many times before, and he had always shook his head in denial, hadn't he?
But coming from the kids—he hesitated, realizing he didn't have a firm rejection in mind.
"Uncle, will you marry my mommy and be my daddy?" Little Kaifeng asked too.
Though they were still young and didn't fully understand the meaning of marriage, they probably knew that if Mommy married, they would have a new daddy, and they wanted a daddy.
"You want a daddy?" he asked, taking one child in each hand as they walked toward the door, wanting to let Ouyang Xiaoqing sleep peacefully.
"Of course! A daddy can protect Mommy, protect me, protect Feng, and play games…"
Their voices gradually faded as they walked through the door, while on the other side, Ouyang Xiaoqing was sleeping soundly.
In her dreams, she played and laughed with the children and Du Yuheng, like a… family, the kind she had longed for.
When she woke up, Ouyang Xiaoqing was a bit confused about how she ended up in bed and where Du Yuheng had gone. But when she opened the door, she was nearly brought to tears by the sight before her.
She saw Du Yuheng happily playing with the children, the three of them laughing and having fun together.
"Mommy!" Little Kaifeng spotted his mother first and ran to hug her leg. "You slept for so long; Uncle told me not to wake you."
Ouyang Xiaoqing picked him up and looked at Du Yuheng, who was sitting on the living room floor. "Thank you."
"I should be the one thanking you." When he brought the kids into the living room earlier, he had noticed his clothes neatly laid out on the table, ironed and tidy.
"Do you feel better?" Ouyang Xiaoqing asked.
It seemed the kids had learned to speak from her; Little Kaiyin had asked the same question. "Almost," he replied.
"Then—" She glanced at the clock on the wall: 2:50. Goodness, she had slept for so long! "Have you eaten?"
"We were waiting for you!" Little Kaiyin patted her tiny belly. "I'm starving."
"Let's go." Du Yuheng picked up Kaiyin. "What do you want to eat? Western food? Chinese food? Or something else?"
"Uh—" Ouyang Xiaoqing was taken aback. She couldn't figure out what was going on.
"Mommy—" Little Kaifeng, still in her arms, wriggled. "Hurry up! I'm about to starve!"
"Me too!" Little Kaiyin chimed in.
Ouyang Xiaoqing still looked puzzled, not understanding Du Yuheng's intentions.
He seemed a bit different today, but she couldn't quite pinpoint how, and she had no chance to think about it.
Because Du Yuheng had already wrapped one arm around his daughter and the other around her shoulder, urging her to go out for a meal.
Du Yuheng chose a family restaurant with play facilities for the kids. Upon seeing the slide, swings, and other fun things outside, the two children forgot all about their empty bellies and rushed off hand in hand after gulping down some food.
On New Year's Day, most people returned to their hometowns for the holiday, so the restaurant wasn't very crowded.
"What did you come to find me for?" Ouyang Xiaoqing put down her chopsticks, unable to enjoy her meal with a big rock hanging over her heart.
"I came to see the kids."
"Oh." The disappointment in her heart was palpable; after all, to him, she was merely the mother of his children, utterly insignificant. "As you can see, they're doing well."
"Indeed, you've raised them well."
"No," she replied, "I don't have that ability. It's Qiu Mi; she raised the kids. Their liveliness and quirks all come from her. I didn't teach them anything."
"Leading by example is the best method of education," Du Yuheng said sincerely. She taught the kids to care and be considerate—things that couldn't be taught.
Ouyang Xiaoqing lowered her head to hide her flushed cheeks; she wasn't used to being praised, especially not by him.
No wonder people say women are most beautiful when they look down. Du Yuheng smiled faintly, admiring her elegant neck; he now realized that this little woman was truly charming.
From their reunion until recently, he had criticized her regarding the children, neglecting the series of effects that arise when a man and a woman face each other without the child-related issues clouding their interactions.
It wasn't fair to view her through the lens of motherhood, just as it would be unfair to ask him to give up his child.
In fact, she was just a simple woman; so why should he dwell on it?
Suddenly, the word "marriage" flashed in his mind—not as a frustrated thought about finding solutions, but as a sudden burst of desire.
To spend a lifetime with her… Upon reflection, he found her personality acceptable, and he felt secure with her methods of raising their children. Even if they lived in two separate worlds, couldn't they coexist in the same space?
"Let's get married!" Du Yuheng said.
His declaration caught Ouyang Xiaoqing by surprise. "For the kids?" Shaking her head, she felt a mix of emotions. To marry her for the children? She felt her heart grow cold, as if rivaling the outside temperature of eleven or twelve degrees.
"Don't insult me." This phrase had been on her lips since she met him. "I never thought to use the kids to tie you down or to marry you." His decision hurt her. In truth, she had thought about it, but not because of the children, but for love—yet it had all been one-sided.
"Why?" His rejection was completely unexpected. He didn't think she would agree because of his wealth, but he believed she would at least nod for the kids. Now, she shook her head and said no.
"There are no feelings between us. Even if there are, they are just ordinary friends, unrelated to romantic feelings. I cannot marry a man who doesn't love me, just as you cannot marry a woman you don't love. Such a marriage would be wrong and not good for the kids."
Du Yuheng listened closely, catching the flaws in her words. "You love me?" She had just said she couldn't marry a man who didn't love her. If she was referring to him, then, combining it with what the bartender had said yesterday, she—
"You—how can you say that!" Caught off guard, Ouyang Xiaoqing jumped to her feet.
"I'll go keep Kai Yin and Kai Feng company!" Without waiting for his response, she fled as if escaping a disaster, leaving Du Yuheng alone with a table full of dishes.
The answer was clear—from her panicked retreat, he could tell. But he didn't understand why she had fallen in love. Since their first meeting six years ago, they had only seen each other a few times. Could that really be enough for a woman to fall in love with a man?
She loved him. Realizing this, he should have felt heavy-hearted, as he had never considered love necessary. Having it only felt burdensome; lacking it felt much lighter. But now, he felt unexpectedly good.
Du Yuheng unusually spent the whole day playing with the kids, so much so that the two energetic children eventually fell asleep in the car, exhausted. Finally, the two adults had to carry one child each back to their soft little beds.
The two similar little faces pressed together in sleep made it hard not to steal a few more glances before reluctantly closing the door.
"Thank you for taking the kids to the amusement park." She was always busy, typically just taking them for strolls in the Taipei Botanical Garden, but today, Du Yuheng had taken them to the amusement area in Taoyuan, letting them have a joyful time.
"Don't be so distant with me." With the connection of the kids, they should be closer.
Ouyang Xiaoqing smiled and walked into the kitchen. "That's quite ordinary for a regular friend."
"Regular friend?" He frowned, clearly annoyed by that term.
"We're friends—" Ouyang Xiaoqing glanced back at him, then turned to make coffee. "Aren't we?"
Du Yuheng stepped into the kitchen and quickly cornered her between the sink and his arms before she could escape. "Are you upset about what I said earlier?"
She shook her head, but it was clear she wasn't being honest.
"You are upset—very upset." His face drew closer to hers, close enough that they could smell each other's scents. "If my words hurt you, I apologize."
"You…" Ouyang Xiaoqing leaned back slightly, trying to increase the distance between them. "You did nothing wrong. Marrying for the kids… If anyone else faced this issue, they would likely do the same."
"Hmm?" Du Yuheng moved closer, pressing her back again.
"It's just that I… I can't accept that method. Please, please back away?" She was close to losing her balance.
Du Yuheng held her waist with one hand, the other still resting on the edge of the sink.
"Drink!" Ouyang Xiaoqing exclaimed, suddenly aware of how intimate their position was.
"You don't accept a marriage without love?" he asked. Is love that important? He thought the world was full of people who maintained marriages out of a sense of duty—like him, for the kids, for the future care of them and their mother.
"I know you'll laugh at me for being naive, but I've always thought this way. I won't compromise myself to marry someone without love for the kids. You might call me selfish, but I believe it's better for kids to grow up in a loving single-parent family than in an environment where their parents don't love each other. Even if there are regrets, at least they will feel happiness compared to the former."
Love… He was sure of his kids; but their mother—
"I take back what I said earlier."
"What?"
"Let's get married! Not just for the kids, but for you and me as well."
"Do you think I would believe that?" No matter how naive she might be, she wasn't foolish enough not to detect the sincerity in his words. "Du Yuheng, you might be at the very end of understanding love; you don't comprehend it at all."
"What a commendable spirit of provocation." She was right; he truly didn't understand. At the same time, he began to feel a bit intrigued. In their conversations, he discovered that whenever she was pushed into a corner, she naturally reacted with a visible expression of anger that was normally hidden, and she would extend her adorable, tiny hands—unable to harm anyone but evoking feelings of pity and reluctance to bully her further.
"But I'm not opposed to learning." Because it was necessary, he would learn.
"What do you mean by that?"
He held her chin and leaned in closer to her lips.
Their four lips intertwined, bringing forth shared memories.
Everything began with that kiss.
During the long holiday for the New Year, Du Yuheng boldly stepped into her home, playing with the kids while also spending time with her.
Whenever he was playing with the children, Ouyang Xiaoqing felt like an extra, just sitting at a distance, watching them laugh, listen to their chatter.
It was truly in their nature! The kids quickly bonded with Du Yuheng, developing a rapport, while she, as their mother, became the odd one out, feeling ignored.
She didn't understand his intentions, just as she was perplexed by his sudden kiss a few days earlier.
He wanted to learn to love, but can love be learned?
She believed love came from feelings, unrelated to learning; it was an innate instinct in humans. If he said he wanted to learn, where would he even begin? She didn't think he could understand.
"Mommy—" Little Kai Yin climbed onto Ouyang Xiaoqing's lap. "Can we let Uncle Du be our daddy?"
Ouyang Xiaoqing froze, her gaze flitting between little Kai Yin and Du Yuheng.
It's you again. She signaled with her eyes.
Shoot the horse first. He assumed it was a given.
Futile effort. She retorted.
Where there's a will, there's a way. In terms of patience, he had yet to meet his match.
"Please?" Little Kai Yin cooed.
"This…" Ouyang Xiaoqing hesitated, her gaze shifting between the two children before finally landing on the instigator. She understood this much. But was it really necessary to sacrifice their happiness for the kids?
She loved him, but he needed to learn to love her. How forced, how contrived.
The kids' request wasn't wrong; every child needed their parents to grow up. Yet her situation felt like a gamble—whether to bet or not, it concerned her entire life, as well as his and the children's futures…
To bet? Not to bet? To gamble? Not to gamble? To agree? Or to disagree?
She could choose to hand the kids over to him; but doing so would feel like dying. She couldn't bear to part with her children, especially those who resembled him.
"Do you love the kids?" After a long silence, Ouyang Xiaoqing asked. She didn't ask if he loved her, knowing the answer would certainly be no; she didn't want to humiliate herself.
"Of course." The children were his flesh and blood.
"Then—" Taking a deep breath, Ouyang Xiaoqing heard her own voice barely a whisper; "You can do as you wish, and I will cooperate. Kai Yin and Kai Feng will call Uncle Du 'Daddy' from now on, okay?"
After saying that, she heard the kids cheer in a half-understanding way; but she also felt as though she had been thrown into an iron cage, hitting the ground hard.
Was this truly good for the children? She didn't know. Years of life's pressures had crushed her optimistic nature; the carefree girl she once was had long faded into the dusty memories of the past, and she dared not imagine the future.
Her pessimism blinded her to Du Yuheng's concerned gaze, which held a hint of worry.