Mikasa's POV
My life after that intense, oddly mesmerizing fight took an unexpected turn. Every day, Eren was there—standing in front of me with that same unreadable look, his eyes flickering with something I couldn't quite place. As if the outcome was already set in stone, he called to me with that level voice of his," Get ready Ackerman..."
The way he used our last names made him sound like he'd already taken charge of everything. And yet, I couldn't resist. "Ready. Just… don't expect me to go easy on you," I replied, trying to keep my cool as I lunged at him.
Every day, without fail, he'd pin me to the ground, and every day, frustration flashed through me —but deep inside, my heart roared out,"Oh Eren hold me tighter.... Don't let go..."
His touch.... it came with a spark of something else. His face inches from mine, our bodies sweaty and entwined in the scorching heat. Everyday, I'd catch myself imagining… things.... Dirty things. Eren on top of me with me at the bottom and we are on a bed doing—damn it, Mikasa. Get a grip.
It has been only a couple of days since we started hand to hand combat training and as much as I hate to say it.... I kinda like this side of Eren... He's really, really strong... At first I thought he was arrogant filled with pride... But now I understand he just wants to find a strong opponent to keep him entertained... I guess.... And he's so, so cute when he looks at me in the daylight and I just....
"Uck..." I grunted as I fell on the ground, the impact bringing me back to reality and Eren was right on top of me. His voice cut through my thoughts with cool detachment. "That's all?"
I gritted my teeth, trying not to blush. "Don't get cocky just because you beat me doesn't make you any strong. One day, you'll be at the bottom with me dominating you at the top.... Just wai...." Shit.... did I really just say that?
But Eren didn't react. Oh that pure soul he had no idea what it meant. His green eyes met mine, calm as ever. "We'll see then" he said simply, and stepped back.
His steady, expressionless gaze lingered long after he'd gone. I threw myself into training, barely sleeping, wanting to be ready for him each day.
Because for those two hours, as much as it drove me crazy, he was mine to fight, and maybe… just maybe, I could keep his interest locked on me for a little longer.
It was one of those days, intense and relentless, yet... something embarrassing.... really really embarrassing happened the very thought of it still makes me blush.
During one of our duels, the kind where every move was so swift even the wind seemed to hold its breath, I lost myself in the flow of our fast-paced fight. Each strike was like a heartbeat, pushing us both to the edge of what we could handle.
I must've caught him off guard because, suddenly, my fist connected with his cheek in full force. "Ere…" I whispered, my heart thudding as I noticed the small trail of crimson on his face. I hurt him.... He was bleeding...
He seemed… surprised, but there was something more in his eyes, like he wanted to keep going. I took a deep breath, and with a heavy heart, threw myself back into the fight, each of us moving faster and sharper.
Then, in another split second, I saw him preparing to pin me to the ground with a feint. I dodged it just in time, tangling my leg with his to knock him off balance. But Eren—he reached out and grabbed my shirt, pulling me down with him.
"Eh?" I whispered, breathless. My eyes widened as our fall shifted, time slowing, my heart skipping every beat. And.... and...Our noses brushed first, a feather-light touch. And then… our.... our lips touched. They met, soft and unexpectedly warm, the shock of it flooding through me like wildfire.
His hands had slipped to my waist, and in a blur of instinct, he managed to change our trajectory so he took the brunt of the fall, with me resting on top of him.
I… I couldn't even think. His lips—dry, soft, sweet, warm,—interlocked with mine, and it felt like the entire world had vanished. The wind around us seemed to still, the echoes of our duel fading. I couldn't tell what he was feeling.
Did he taste my tears, the salt from all the times I'd cried over him? Or maybe he sensed something deeper in that kiss, something sweeter, something that went beyond just this fight.
Before I knew it, my hands had moved on their own, cupping his cheeks as I leaned in, deepening the kiss, pouring everything I couldn't say into it.... Shit I was so shameless...
His hands pressed against my waist, his fingers gripping slightly, as if he was fighting for breath. It was overwhelming, and my heart wanted nothing more than to stay in that warmth.
But reality snapped me back. I cursed myself, quickly parting our lips, though… even as I tried to pull away, I hesitated, selfishly lingering just a moment longer, feeling the warmth of his breath.
And all I could think was how desperately I wanted to follow that warmth, to lose myself in it… to kiss him forever. "Shit.... My Eren just.... We just kissed...." I thought to myself but Eren's voice pierced through my thought.... I just couldn't look at him right now.... Not with my crimson red face.
"Sorry... it was my fault," Eren murmured, his voice barely audible. I could hardly breathe, my face turning scarlet—probably as red as my scarf. I looked at him, trying to regain some composure, but my heart was racing, every beat betraying me.
I noticed that while he kept his face expressionless and tried to stay collected, there were small signs that gave him away—like the tips of his ears, burning red. And his cheeks, bruised as they were, held a faint crimson that was unmistakable.
"No... I was the one..." I began to whisper, but before the words even left my lips, he turned and walked away. I shouldn't have been surprised; it was so like him to keep his distance, to let silence fill the gaps between us.
But a small pang shot through me—an ache, wondering if maybe... just maybe, he left because I'd pushed too far. When I'd deepened the kiss, was he frustrated? Did he realize how selfish I was, using him and using every fight, every moment, just to be closer to him?
A shiver went through me as I stood there, torn between feeling elated and… haunted. I didn't know if I should be filled with joy or crushed by this aching fear.
However, all my doubts vanished the next day when I saw him standing there again, fists clenched, ready to face me again. "I… I thought… you'd never want to spar with me again after what... What happened yesterday," I managed to say, feeling a mix of hesitation and hope, unsure of his reaction. Eren stayed silent for a moment, his intense gaze unyielding.
"Not after yesterday's defeat" he finally said. "I'm done going easy on you, Ackerman."
Those words—those fierce, straightforward words—made my heart leap. Relief washed over me, and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. It wasn't just satisfaction; it was something deeper. My first kiss… taken by the person I'd admired for so long. And here he was, still challenging me.
"Looks like you're more capable than I thought, kid… Let's see how long you last today."
I blinked. "Ah… what… what did he just say?" Heat rushed to my face as my thoughts betrayed me. How long I last? Eren, don't say things like that so confidently…
I swallowed, pushing back my lewd thoughts. "Whatever… Come at me," I retorted, raising my fists. But I barely finished speaking before Eren was already moving.
In a heartbeat, he closed the distance, overpowering me in a single, fluid motion. Before I could react, I was pinned to the ground, his knee pressing lightly on my torso, our hands interlocked as he held me down.
"How did you—" I bit down my frustration, catching sight of the small crowd watching us. Great. He's probably already bored of me after that quick win.
Eren didn't say a word. He simply held my gaze, his deep green eyes searching mine as if seeking something hidden beneath the surface. Finally, after a long, intense pause, he released me, stepping back.
"Train harder, Ackerman," he commanded, his voice low but resolute. "I want to fight you without holding back."
With that, he turned and left the training field. It was the first time he'd ever demanded anything from me, and it ignited something fierce within. My training sharpened, each session tougher than the last.
I pushed myself to my limits every day, feeling my muscles ache and strengthen, developing abs and scars that told a story of their own. The pain was worth it, all of it—for the chance to face him without holding back.
Each day we fought, but Eren… he seemed different, like he was holding back, even moving sluggishly as if our duels bored him now. That look—disinterested, half-hearted—cut through me.
A frustration surged inside, one I didn't know what to do with. Angry, sad, and desperate, I'd lunge at him again, giving everything I had. But somehow, no matter what, he always outpaced me.
His movements blurred, and I'd find myself flat on the ground, staring up at him. The disappointment in his eyes stung worse than the bruises.
One day, something snapped. Without thinking, I blurted out, "I… I want to get strong… like you. But no matter what I do, no matter how much I train, I can't reach you. Why?"
Eren sighed, pushing himself to his feet. For a moment, he looked away, as though searching for the right words, then he spoke, his tone steady and piercing.
"Your movements… your attacks—they come from sympathy. From pity. The day you won't hold back, the day you fight without that hesitation, you might even surpass me."
His gaze grew colder, almost indifferent. "I'm here to find someone who can challenge me. But if all you see me is as the friend you grew up with… then I have no reason to keep coming back everyday to fight you."
He looked away just slightly sliding his hands down his pockets," Attachment is nothing more than a burden, Ackerman... Try setting yourself free from that..."
The words hit me harder than any punch. His usual blank expression, those icy, detached eyes. Every single day he'd say things that'd just somewhat convey the message to get strong and forget the past?
He turned away without a second glance, leaving my heart scattered, his words echoing relentlessly. After that, he stopped showing up for our combat sessions altogether, and I became invisible to him again.
In class, I'd watch him from a distance, only to see him wedged between Christa and Ymir, sometimes surrounded by others.
Every now and then, another girl would ask to sit by him, and he'd just nod with that same bored, detached expression, staring straight ahead at Keith Shadis as if no one else was there. He never noticed me anymore.
Even during training, he seemed magnetic, especially to the other girls, all asking him to help with their ODM gear. He'd assist each one, his actions mechanical, efficient, but always detached. Eren was everywhere, surrounded by everyone, and yet… to me, he felt further away than ever.
Then there was Annie Leonhart. She seemed interested in Eren in the same way as the others, her respect for his skills was obvious. One day, when Eren and Reiner were sparring, she approached them with her usual cool, almost detached demeanor.
"Hey, Reiner… if you're alright with it, mind if I fight with him?" Reiner nodded, eager as always, and Annie lunged forward with her signature fighting style.
Annie was like Eren—a quiet, unreadable mask. But as skilled as she was, she couldn't match his strength. In moments, he had her pinned, their faces close enough that anyone watching might hold their breath.
And that little flame of jealousy flared up in me. How often had Eren pinned me down like that, our faces inches apart, hearts racing… just like when we'd kissed. And here I was, wondering why my mind was wandering back to that memory now.
"Not bad…" Annie muttered, her voice laced with something more than just admiration. She then offered, "Let me teach you a technique, Yeager… it'll be useful for you." Eren, still expressionless, nodded and stepped back, ready.
"Ready?" Annie challenged, eyes intense. Eren didn't respond, merely waited with a calm that everyone bordered as arrogance. Annie clicked her tongue, muttering, "Arrogant bastard…" and rushed forward, feinting a punch. But instead of aiming high, she aimed a fierce kick at his leg.
Crack
A strange crunch echoed across the field. My heart clenched. Eren… Did she break something? But instead, a sharp gasp escaped Annie as she stumbled, clutching her shin, her face twisted in pain. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes while Reiner rushed to her side, calling for help.
Eren looked down at her, his eyes devoid of neither pity nor pride. " How was that useful?" Eren said his voice calm as ever.
"Fuck.... You.... Yeager. " Annie frustrated said as Reiner prepared to take her to the nurse.
"You want attention? Earn it I don't give it for free... And try focusing more on your training rather than spying on me." His voice was cold, like a verdict no one wanted to hear.
And with that, he turned his back on the field, leaving a hush over everyone around him. Some whispered about his arrogance, but I knew better. It wasn't pride. It was simply a truth too heavy for most of us to bear Eren was the strongest amongst all.
As months slipped by, our time as cadets was nearing its end. The last assignment left was a small expedition that would take us across a vast section of Wall Rose—a test of our skills and endurance.
Two teams were formed, each group balanced with a mix of cadets. Eren, Annie, Connie, Sasha, Marco, and Reiner with some other cadets were on one team, with Eren appointed as the leader and Marco as his support. On the other team were Armin, Christa, Jean, Ymir, Bertholdt, and myself, with Armin as my support.
The plan was straightforward: each team would venture in opposite directions, following a semi-circular path until we met again, there we'd part ways and retrace the opposite team's path. After three days and two nights, we'd arrive back at our starting points.
"Team leaders Mikasa Ackerman and Eren Yeager," Keith's commanding voice echoed through the assembly of cadets, "this expedition relies on you both and your teams. Any misbehavior is unacceptable. Your support cadets will guide you, and you each have flares to signal your location to the other team. Show great leadership out there. Dismissed!"
I stepped up to Eren, hand extended. "Good luck, Eren," I said in a steady, authoritative voice, meeting his gaze. He took my hand, and as our hands clasped, I felt a flicker of warmth—the familiar feeling of his touch that, even after months, hadn't faded.
A faint smile crept onto my face, and I held his hand just a little tighter with my other hand feeling the softness of his palm, savoring the fleeting moment.
"You too," he replied, his voice calm. " Don't die." His words, simple as they were, struck a quiet chord in my chest. I nodded, the weight of his trust settling into me as we released hands and turned to face our separate paths, setting off in opposite directions.