"You poor things, there's no need to brew potions for now. Let's first learn some basic wizarding first aid, so you know what to do when you're injured," Madam Pomfrey declared after pacing the classroom.
For a moment, the classroom was filled only with the sound of quills scratching against parchment as everyone diligently copied down what Madam Pomfrey had written on the blackboard.
Once the students had finished, she asked, "Does everyone have their copy of The Healer's Handbook?"
A murmur of agreement spread through the classroom.
"Good," Madam Pomfrey continued. "This book has five volumes, and we'll start with the first one. It has sixty chapters, and each chapter has three hundred subsections. Please turn to page five, and let's go over 'The Three Hundred Most Common Beginner Mistakes.'"
It was mind-numbingly dull, much like listening to Professor Binns drone on in History of Magic.
William, bored out of his mind, began to twirl his quill between his fingers, spinning it rapidly while flipping the pages of his textbook with his other hand. It was quite the spectacle, almost like a circus performer juggling two acts at once.
Cho, sitting beside him, stared at the quill, her eyes glazing over, clearly lost in thought as well.
Halfway through the lesson, Judy Crouch could no longer stand it. She raised her hand.
"Yes, dear? Do you have a question about the material?" Madam Pomfrey asked.
"Not about the content, no," Judy replied.
"If it's unrelated to the subject, we can discuss it after class."
"Madam, I have a question about the purpose of this lesson," Judy said, standing up. "Isn't this supposed to be Potions class? Shouldn't we be brewing potions?"
"Brewing potions?" Madam Pomfrey chuckled softly. "Of course, we'll brew potions. Don't worry, I'll teach you how to brew healing remedies. But that's next year's curriculum. For now, let's focus on the basics of medical care."
Another student, Arthur from Slytherin, raised his hand. "Where is Professor Snape?"
Madam Pomfrey hesitated for a moment before answering softly, "Professor Snape is assisting the Ministry of Magic with an investigation. He'll return soon. Until then, I'll be covering his classes."
"Did Professor Snape attack the Ministry?" Bell Lem from Ravenclaw blurted out.
All eyes turned to Madam Pomfrey, who fidgeted uncomfortably under their expectant gazes. It was clear that the students were far more interested in gossip than in the lesson.
Madam Pomfrey looked flustered by the unusually keen interest in Snape's whereabouts.
"No, that's absurd. You must trust Professor Dumbledore—" she began.
"But why was Professor Snape taken away?" another student interrupted.
Clearly irritated, Madam Pomfrey snapped, "Who told you he was taken away? That's ridiculous. On the night of the incident, Professor Snape was sent on an errand by Professor Dumbledore. End of discussion!"
Refusing to answer any more questions about Snape, she quickly steered the lesson back to the book.
The students, however, were completely disengaged, each sinking deeper into boredom.
On the first day without Snape, everyone was already missing him.
In a desperate attempt to re-engage the class, Madam Pomfrey eventually pulled out some bandages and began teaching the students how to properly wrap injuries.
Cho, attempting to practice on her pet rabbit, ended up wrapping it in so many layers of bandages that it resembled a mummy.
Marietta, meanwhile, seemed to be more focused on turning her bandages into intricate knots, playing around with them rather than practicing seriously.
While the students busied themselves with the bandages, Madam Pomfrey strolled around the room, picking up various potions that had been brewed in earlier classes and sniffing them.
"These are terrible, just awful," she muttered. "That one's completely wrong—blood-replenishing potions without the right amount of dittany? What's the point?"
"Professor Snape actually gave this a passing grade?" she gasped, examining one vial in disbelief. "If it were me, I wouldn't have given more than half a point."
Then, she picked up another bottle and her eyes widened in shock. "Good heavens, is this Amortentia neutralizer? Why on earth would Professor Snape teach students how to brew something so dangerous?"
Madam Pomfrey seemed appalled by Snape's teaching choices. To her, only healing potions should be taught in a school environment—everything else was far too hazardous.
As she moved through the classroom, she muttered several times about reporting Snape to Dumbledore and recommending that his salary be docked.
Poor Snape—sitting in a Ministry holding cell, oblivious to the fact that, even in his absence, he was being blamed for everything. By the time he returned, he'd probably find his entire year-end bonus had mysteriously disappeared.
After confiscating several more potions, Madam Pomfrey assigned the class a surprise essay. "I want a parchment-length essay on how to treat someone who accidentally drank Draught of Living Death. Hand it in by Monday. Just because Professor Snape is gone doesn't mean I'll go easy on you."
Draught of Living Death was a powerful sleeping potion, one that required stimulating the stomach to induce vomiting in case of accidental ingestion. The real problem was that the students hadn't even learned how to brew it yet–they were supposed to be learning how to make it, not how to treat someone who'd already taken it!
As they filed out of the dungeon classroom, the moment they were out of earshot, the students began grumbling loudly about Madam Pomfrey's teaching style.
"Madam Pomfrey is nothing like a Potions professor," one Ravenclaw student said. "She won't even let us brew anything! How are we supposed to keep up with the curriculum when exams come?"
Ravenclaws, unlike students from other houses, were already worried about their end-of-term exams. Potions was a critical subject that required extensive practice.
If their performance was poor, they might end up being held back, and it would be difficult to pass their O.W.L's in their fifth year.
The Slytherins, on the other hand, were more concerned about whether their head of house, Professor Snape, would return. Despite his bad temper, Snape's blatant favoritism toward Slytherin made him a valuable ally.
Not everyone was unhappy, though. Marietta, for one, was thrilled. Madam Pomfrey had awarded her two extra points for tying an exceptionally neat bow with her bandages.
Overall, the debate over whether Madam Pomfrey or Professor Snape was a better teacher remained unresolved.
For most of the Ravenclaw students, though, they secretly hoped that Snape would return soon. Despite his harshness, he knew his stuff, and he certainly wouldn't waste their time with lessons on "Post-Injury Care for Pigs"... er, Wizards.
But William's attention was soon drawn to something else entirely: Hagrid had sent him a letter, inviting him to his hut for an important discussion!
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