Running, twisting around trees, leaping over the forest floor—everything became a blur. He pushed himself harder, trying to rid himself of the guilt and anguish over what he had done. He knew he had been too impatient to have her understand what he was and to just accept it. She was so frightened of him, but he had also felt her attraction to him.
He could sense that, because of the species difference—him with four legs and fangs, her being human—the conflict inside her was immense. The cultural and religious teachings ingrained in her prevented her from wanting to get any closer to him. Two thousand years with this curse, and he had long since released any moral misgivings on his part. She experienced one day, and it ate at her moral center to think of him like that. He so wanted her to see him as the man he used to be, not the monster he was now.
Asinus Stultissimus! Why did I have to push? After two thousand years, I thought I had developed patience.
He had to figure out how to help her without doing any more damage to her mind. Her emotional state was extremely fragile right now. This is a woman who had known, up until today, for a fact that monsters don't exist. Now, everything she thought she believed was proven wrong. Well, not completely, but who knows—maybe that Jew was right: all can be forgiven if you believe. It hadn't worked in his case, but maybe this was different.
He had seen others like himself before, but they avoided each other. No one wanted to get any closer to another than they absolutely had to. He still wasn't entirely sure how his own curse had been passed to him. Luckily, none of his victims ever rose up to become like him, and as far as he could tell, he had never passed this curse onto any living person either.
He had to think of her now—how to fix what he had done. He tried remembering what he had learned from those weird monks in those ragged peaks in the East. They had accepted him at face value, neither judging nor fearing him. They knew what he was, and that was that. He had traveled to them seeking advice, and they had given it freely, without any expectation of payment nor wanting any either. He had lived with them for over a hundred years, and they never once revealed his secret to anyone. He missed them. The only reason he had left was because they didn't particularly care for his interest in female company. There wasn't any there in those mountains, and he had to go elsewhere to find it. He started glimpsing memories of those lessons.
Yes, I remember now. I have to get back to her before the damage I have done becomes permanent.
He turned his course and increased his speed back toward the cabin. He flashed past a doe eating some grass next to the creek. She didn't even have time to register that a threat was close before he was gone. He sped up to the porch of the cabin and stopped. He was breathing rapidly, and his heart rate pounded at several hundred beats per minute.
Using the teachings of the monks, he gathered his thoughts and calmed his speeding heart and breathing. He further calmed his mind, driving out the demons of his past and the impatience of the present. Within a few moments, one couldn't tell that he had just sped through the forest at twice the speed of the fastest racehorse and had traveled several miles at that speed. He looked and felt like he had just risen from a nap.
He slowly entered the cabin, pushing ahead with his senses; he felt her presence. It's strange to feel like this. The radiance and joy that normally preceded her was gone; in its place was an empty shell—nothing. He stepped over to the cot and looked at her face. Using the lessons he had learned from the monks, he went about fixing his mistakes.
She was inside her mind, unfeeling, just lying there. Then she felt a presence, warm, caring, and full of love. It almost felt like her father at first, but she knew that couldn't be; he was gone. Was she dead? Was this what heaven felt like? No, she couldn't be dead; she could hear her heartbeat. The presence got stronger, and somehow, she could tell that it was male.
Comforting and soothing her, wanting to protect her from the dangers of the outside world. She thought she heard a whispered voice, gentle and deep in tone. She vaguely recognized it but wasn't sure it was real. There it was again. That deep baritone was gently calling her name.
Casey, my love, wake up. I am here for you. I will always be here for you. There is nothing to be frightened of out here. Come on, you must wake up now. Come to me, follow my voice.
She opened her eyes to see Dagomarus standing above her. He had a serene expression on his face as she looked back at him. He grinned, showing all those razor-sharp teeth, but they didn't frighten her; they comforted her instead. She knew in her heart that he would never harm her.
"What happened? Did I pass out?"
He nodded.
"How did I get onto this cot? Did you put me here?"
He nodded again. She carefully sat up and stretched.
"Wow! I feel like I slept twelve hours. How long was I out?"
He furrowed his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. She giggled when he did this. Seeing an oversized wolf shrug was an amusing experience.
"I dreamed that you were hugging me. Strange, huh? You don't have the arms to do that."
He stepped up to the edge of the cot, put his head over her shoulder, and dropped his chin, pulling her against his chest. He squeezed her gently, then released her, backing up. He grinned at her. She laughed and smiled back at him.
"Yeah, I guess you can hug me. That was nice; I liked that."
She felt warm and secure sitting on the cot. She started to remember why she had passed out, but the fear and the pain weren't there anymore—just the images. She calmly reviewed everything he had shown her. Coming to the last of the flashes, she concentrated on the reflection in the pool: the upright werewolf with the hands and torso of a man, but the legs of a wolf. She frowned and looked at him, waving her hand over his body.
"So, if you were half man for a while, how'd this come about?"
He gently nudged her with his thoughts, slipping them in without pushing too hard in the wrong places. She couldn't really hear his voice in her head this time; he just used body language and facial expressions with some minor vocalizations to get his meaning across. She didn't realize that he was slipping the answers to her questions into her consciousness.
Time; and guilt. I could never really surrender myself to the pure bloodlust of the wolf creature. When I finally did change into a full wolf, I ran and ran, deep into the dark forests of early Europe. I took up with a pack and decided to roam free and live like a wolf. Only hunting animals and then only to eat, not just to kill.
"So, now you have the body of a wolf but the mind of a man?"
He shrugged, then nodded.
Most of the time, but not always. Sometimes I forgot who I had been and would just live like a wolf. The curse always kept me alive, no matter how bad my wounds were; eventually, I would heal. When I would wake up after one of these massive healing slumbers, I'd remember who I was and start the cycle over again.
He stopped pushing his thoughts into her mind. It was too risky to continue. He was out of practice, and he didn't want a repeat of his earlier mistake. He would stick to facial expressions and body language from now on. Perhaps later, when she was more comfortable with his true nature and his abilities, he would try again. He nosed her arm and motioned for her to get up.
She stood up and stretched some more. Then she wrinkled her nose; the smell of her earlier accident permeated the cabin. She walked over to the table and picked up the canteen. After taking a few swallows, she felt refreshed. Using the last of the water in the canteen, she washed the vomit off the floor. Turning to see Dagomarus at her side, she laughed; he had found an old towel somewhere, and he had it between his teeth, waiting for her to take it.
"Well, aren't you just the cutest helper I ever had?"
She blushed when he grinned and winked at her. She finished cleaning up the mess and carried the towel outside, tossing it over the side of the porch railing, away from any window.
Coming back inside, she noticed Dagomarus sniffing at the backpack. He motioned that he was still hungry and wanted to eat the special treat she had brought him. She smiled and nodded.
"Yes, let's eat, and then we can talk about what we are going to do afterwards."