In the darkness of a sealed room, devoid of windows or cracks, where light cannot penetrate, two presences are drawn to each other as if guided by an inexplicable instinct. A senseless but tangible need, almost palpable, as though one knows the other is there and desperately yearns to draw closer.
I feel that same sensation now.
There is no color or shape, no scent or warmth, no evident sign or concrete clue to answer irrelevant questions or alleviate the uncertainty of this feeling—or at least explain this pull I'm experiencing.
I simply follow the gentle current of this imaginary river toward my destination, trying to reach the presence that draws me.
Until finally…
A very distinct sensation overwhelms my senses. In the absence of words, a primitive language emerges, made of subtle feelings, touches, and movements. I don't know how it's possible, but I feel as though my hands are touching someone else's.
Large hands, strong and slightly rough, yet simultaneously warm, gentle, and tender. The warmth and sensation are so believable and real that I begin to doubt whether I'm truly touching the hands of a flesh-and-blood person.
Their hands are much larger than mine—my hands barely reach half their size—but I feel nothing but tenderness and calm. I feel no fear or anxiety, even as the hands close around mine and begin pulling me.
I don't resist and soon surrender to the will of these unknown hands.
Gradually, the sensations spread… They intensify, and I begin to feel as if I'm being gently embraced by someone. That same feeling of being cradled completely in an embrace so encompassing reminds me once again that I'm just a baby.
Ahhh… If I were awake, I think I could fall asleep in this comforting, warm sensation.
Like a baby being held by an adult much larger than them, I feel comfortable, calm, warm… As though my problems dissolve just by experiencing this feeling. I don't want to think about anything else—I just want to enjoy it.
And if this moment doesn't last long enough, I hope I can feel it again.
The pain that torments me incessantly has subsided once more, becoming even smaller and retreating to the back of my consciousness. My attention is now consumed by the pleasant, comforting sensation of the embrace.
This feels good… I should feel happy because of it.
But why do I feel as though the better I get, the colder the presence embracing me becomes? It's slow, very slow, but noticeable—like stepping into the cold with warm clothing.
Beyond that, I also sense emotions spilling from the presence still holding me tightly.
I feel fear, pain, anxiety, regret. But at the same time, I sense an overwhelming willpower, a courage so immense it's only surpassed by the joy this presence feels in helping me.
I don't understand. Why is this happening? If the presence is trying to heal me, why do I feel guilt and remorse? I should feel joy and gratitude. I should reciprocate the good feelings the presence exudes, which far outweigh the bad.
But instead, I feel as if I'm stealing something from someone in need. Like a starving person who must take food from someone else's plate to sate their hunger.
I know it's not right, but in desperate situations, who besides ourselves can judge our desperation? Only we know how far we must go—or where we must stop.
And at this moment, I feel that if I stop now, I'll fall back into that unbearable pit of pain lurking in the depths of my consciousness. Like a ravenous predator eagerly waiting for the chance to sink its teeth into its prey.
The remorse slowly starts eating away at me from the inside… The guilt for something I don't even know what pierces my soul and makes my conscience bleed.
Even though the price for healing is so high, I know I need it… I desperately need this healing.
I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm not a bad person, but I'm not cowardly enough to give up everything because of the consequences to come. I'd rather be the villain in someone else's story a thousand times over than be the victim of my own.
I'm sorry… I'm sorry for everything…
"Shhhh, it'll all be okay now…"
For the first time since I fell asleep and entered this limbo, I hear someone's voice besides my own conscience. A sweet, gentle, and warm voice, carrying an unquestionable tone of confidence and reassurance.
The voice, which clearly belongs to a woman, says nothing more than that, but it's enough to cleanse my conscience of all negative feelings and thoughts. Even the presence embracing me quickly regains its vitality.
An invisible force begins pouring through my body, like a strong current clearing the way for water to flow.
Soon, the pain is gone, along with the presence that was with me.
Finally, after who knows how long, I can feel my body again. Recovery begins quickly, and I'm soon able to open my eyes. Unfortunately, the sight that awaits me is, to say the least, heart-wrenching.
Held by hands that feel deeply familiar, all I can see is a woman with a peculiar appearance. Voluminous orange hair, reddish-brown skin, and animal ears atop her head—she's stunningly beautiful.
But my remorse and guilt return when I look into the almost lifeless eyes of the woman and recognize the presence that pulled me out of that excruciating pain. The presence that embraced me and did everything possible to heal me…
Actually, seeing the state she's in now only amplifies my remorse and guilt, intensifying my sadness.
Her lifeless, vacant, and unfocused eyes, with blood streaming from them, retain only a faint glimmer as they desperately watch me. Blood drips from her nose onto my chest, and the dampness I feel indicates it's enough to soak my clothes.
From her animal-like ears atop her head, blood trickles down, staining her vibrant orange hair with streaks of red. Blood also drips from her mouth, running down her chin and falling somewhere out of sight.
Her face is so close to mine that I can notice her subtlest expressions. Confusion, relief, and pain—these are evident. But despite her condition, she doesn't lose the subtle smile on her lips, making it clear that she's happy, even in this state.
Her lips form a small smile, her eyes appear joyful, and for some reason, I feel a faint connection with her that conveys boundless happiness. She's genuinely happy…
But it hurts my conscience in ways I can't describe. It burns, corrodes, crushes, and slices through my soul in brutal, merciless ways.
I was selfish, cruel, thoughtless, and hypocritical… Yet despite all this, she looks at me happily…
Tears begin to fall down my face without me realizing it… I don't know if it's from guilt or sadness; they simply fall as I feel a whirlwind of violent emotions—both mine and hers.
"You pity her, I see."
Lifting me into her arms, another woman takes me from the previous one. I immediately recognize her voice. It's the voice that awakened me.
"Don't worry; she'll be fine."
And there she is—a pale woman with an extraordinarily beautiful face and crimson-red hair. Words cannot describe how stunning she is. Even her scent carries a hypnotic fragrance.
"We need to start soon; your body is weak, and if we wait any longer, you might not survive the bonding process with me."
As she speaks, the woman begins emanating a kind of energy that swirls around her body, making her glow with a red hue. Her eyes emit small red flames, and her hair appears to be on fire.
She seems to be engulfed in flames, yet the temperature doesn't rise. At the same time, I begin to feel a sensation much stronger than when Kelama examined me. This energy is comforting and warm, constantly flowing around me and trying to enter my body.
Finally, the energy stabilizes, and the woman brings me closer, pressing her forehead against mine. Soon, the energy begins flooding into my body, and her eyes seem to glow even brighter—so much so that I'm forced to close mine because of the light.
As the woman's energy fills me, an instinct makes my body move it at will. But like a child learning to write, my control over the energy is clumsy.
Not only that, but the energy is also laden with emotions—just as before, they are the woman's emotions. Surprise, curiosity, urgency, and caution are evident, and I can distinguish them easily.
I want to explore and learn more, but my moment of study and reflection lasts very briefly. Within seconds, I feel my consciousness being pulled somewhere… Again…