That question made her cry a little more, but she answered it because he always coaxed the answers from her even when she didn't want to tell Asher things.
"I wasn't jealous of you playing at all because you want me to be your slave and you said that means that no one could be as interested in me the way you are and I know that. And you look at me differently and you're meaner with me but I know that's because you feel like you don't have to soothe me or fake with me and I like that. And-and-and-"
"Breathe." Asher pet her, stroked down her breasts. "Think of your words. It's alright."
Asher was like a priest, a guiding Master, a strict teacher all in one and she couldn't resist his command.
"And I was only jealous that they knew the rules and I didn't because I want to be a performing kitten!"
It poured out of her, the reality that she was only jealous for the fact that she didn't have a cat mask.
Asher laughed. "Precious Pet. I'm glad to hear that because..." He trailed off, pulling his phone from his pocket and typing something really quick.
When he held it up to show her, it was the Russian translation of his nickname for her. Kotyonok.
It wasn't a curse word, like she had assumed after her crazy shit. It meant "kitten." She burst into tears, and he shook his head with a wry smile, stroking her hair again. "Such an emotional little Pet."
Jezebel hesitated, then made a soft little sound. "Mew?"
Asher beamed in answer. "Very good. Sweet, lovely little Pet." Sir kissed down her cheek, and she tilted her head, sighing when he took advantage, when he kissed her neck and then down to her exposed breasts.
Asher gently slapped one, even while he sipped at the other, lovingly kneading the flesh. She moaned, arched on his cross, and for a brief moment, she had forgotten that she was still tied at his mercy.
Jezebel made to grasp his hair and then moaned again, louder, when she couldn't. Asher moved his tongue to the other breast while she gasped and whined.
When he lifted away, she met his gaze with a lot of need and desire.
"Beautiful kotik. Does the thought of slavery terrify you so much, truly? There's nothing more intense. You didn't feel jealous tonight because a slave feels no reason to ever be jealous. A slave knows there is nothing as intimate as a relationship with her Master. No other playtime, no other sex will ever rival what that relationship can have. For me to even train you, for instance, would mean for me to know you as well as I know myself. No secrets, nothing held back."
What he described was what she had already felt, when she knew he did not look on his playmates with the same gaze he turned on her.
Jezebel shivered, hunger and desire, making her pulse on the toys that still filled her. "I don't want to, please. Please, I'm scared."
"For a month? Would you try my slave training just for that amount of time? You have nothing to do this summer, lovely, and nothing to lose. If it's a failure, you spent your summer having the kind of sex that most people only dream about. If it's a failure, you leave with nothing but a greater knowledge of the depth of subspace you're capable of reaching. Bow to me for a month, and I'll show you why you'll never want to leave being my slave."
Asher's gaze was so intense and she clenched on the toys, gasping with the pleasure that rocked her at the mere thought of surrendering to him, the man she knew only as Master because he wouldn't give her his name. Because she was not to have another name for him.
Jezebel shook in fear and shook her head. "No. No, please. Please let me down, Master, please."
Asher was still smiling, undeterred by her resistance, when he released the cuffs. "So afraid, kotik."
Jezebel was and she was terrified of falling at his knees, but she wasn't leaving and retreating like she should have once he released her, either.
Instead, she was curling closer to his warmth and comfort and safety. Crazy girl. And that felt more true than ever.
Asher stroked a hand down her back while she wondered what was wrong with her. "You weren't hard," she whispered softly, saying the only other thing that had bothered her during his game.
Asher laughed quietly. "True, but there's a reason for that. If you're feeling brave, I'll show you what it is."
Brave? No. Impulsively, recklessly curious? Always. She looked up at Asher. "I want to know."
Asher's grin was playful, and he unzipped his jeans before he grabbed her hand and guided her down the front to...
Metal encased him, and her eyes widened, even while her blood raced, and she suddenly pulsed on the toys inside of her again, but this time, it was painful.
Jezebel moaned and stroked him, reaching lower to cup his balls while she looked up to his eyes to watch the reaction.
Asher hissed through his teeth, and she could feel him trying to harden from her attentions, but he closed his eyes and breathed as if fighting it.
And she realized she was mindlessly grinding the back of her hand in his jeans, twisting to try to get any stimulation against her covered clit.
When her eyes opened to meet his, the look in them was the hottest thing she'd ever seen. Asher was still full of iron control, but he was a dangerous animal dying to dominate and take.
And she was suddenly struck by the fact that he was reacting to her fear of him and had been the whole time.
The more she struggled against the noose tightening around her, the more he wanted her. "I told you," he said softly. "You're the one who is going to have to give me pleasure."
And then she realized she had been right. She was already lost, and there were two decent options for her.
She could run away from Asher and never go back to Sulfur's, never let him in her life, which was something she wouldn't do. Or she could bow.
Like an idiot she didn't do either of those things. She didn't want to. No, her blood raced in reaction to that realization that fear taunted him.
She wanted to run but not actually run. She wanted to be chased and held down, endangered and taken.
Because the more afraid she turned and then more she struggled, the more controlled he became and the more like a secure wall he was for her to lean against.
And she wanted that security. It was what she'd been wanting all along.
It was weird. It was crazy and convoluted and only barely made sense, like every other bloody emotion she'd had in her life.
But she thought he understood or at least sensed her desires. Asher's eyes didn't miss a thing, and he knew all kinds of fetishes.
Instead of bowing or running, she stroked his cock in his cage, teasing Asher until he turned on the control for the toys inside of her, until he turned them up to their most intense.
Jezebel fell to her knees with the pleasure of it, and resorted to kissing him through his jeans until she cried out in ecstasy while he remained unsated, staring down at her with a faint little smile that said he knew what game she was playing, what she was doing.
When he grabbed her leash, she scrabbled, whimpering to get away, and he let her, watching her with that same distant look.
"Let me go," she whispered. "Take it off and let me go."
"Anything you ask, lovely." But it sounded like he was saying something else, like their entire conversation had been different.
___
*Author's note*
*Currently in a staring contest with writer's block*
Update: Writer's block is winning. It brought snacks and seems prepared for a long siege. I've named it Bob.
Bob says the only way to defeat him is with reader feedback. I suspect Bob is manipulating me, but at this point, I'm desperate enough to try anything.
*Loses staring contest. Blames it on dust. There is no dust*
***