Jenny
"wake up sweety, you're going to be late for school"
" Just five more minutes mama, pleaaaase?" I am still sleepy for shit sake mama.
Hope i didn't say that out loud.
" It's the first day and you wanna be late? No way, so stand up right now."
Great!
Untangling myself from the sheets, I groan. I mean it's not like i was integrating a new grade or something, i was still going in the same class i have been in for three years now all thanks to my best friend Brenda.
That strong head of hers is the thing keeping us in senior highschool instead of being in college, away from mom. 'leaving the life'. But no, I am here waiting and helping her pass her jam and exams so we could go to college together. Like we promised each other. It's a pact signed and ceiled by both of us.
"You can do this, Jenny '' I muttered to myself, making a beeline for the bathroom in the parlor. Inside, I do my business in the toilet and wash my hands. I then brush my teeth and take a quick shower.
Shit!
The water is cold.
Mama couldn't afford a heater, so come rain, come sun we shower with cold water and it sucks. I always have this dream where i soak in a whirlpool tub with bubbles and candles all around me. That's some fantasy right? Well with my luck i know that's never gonna happen.
Once done in the bathroom, I head back to my room to get ready. Putting on a simple black bra and panties and my school uniform which is a blue straight pant and a white button down shirt with my black ballerina shoes, I grab my bag and head to the kitchen for breakfast. On school days, i usually take my breakfast to school, not be late. Putting the food in my bag, i notice the house is calm. That mean mama went to work without saying goodbye? That's odd.
Hum! Wander why she is gone like that?
Guess I will find out when I get back home.
I always go to the establishment on foot. It is like a meditation moment to me. Am all alone in my head, the wind blowing my frizzy hair and face. It's pure bliss. I don't get to think about my friend's shortcomings, not even my mother's sudden behavior, nothing. Just me and a cleared head ready to take whatever comes my way.
*****
Passing the school gates, am still thinking about my mama and why she went to work without letting me know she was heading out. She has never done that before.
Is she mad at me because I didn't wake up early? No, that can't be it. I mean i did worse than that in the past but she never got mad.
Still having all these unanswered questions in my head, I hear my name somewhere behind me and turn to see who is calling.
"Hey, Jenny!" Brenda, my bestie holleres from the gates. She isn't in her school uniform. I wonder why.
"Hi bee, why aren't you in your school uniform on your first day?" I ask as she approaches me.
"Well…i won't be in school this year." she blurtes.
"What?...what do you mean by that?"
"That am dropping out, that's the reason i'm here in fact, to tell you and inform the school of my decision." she explains
" I'm sorry Jenny, but i can't continue like this, I am not smart like you. it's clear i don't have the brains for this. I mean three good years and I still couldn't pass the danm jam. It's obvious am dumb, so I'm done."she adds
"Are you serious right now? So you are giving up just like that? Did you even think about me?" I am furious, how can she take such a decision without even talking to me about it? I look at her and I pity myself because now i understand why my mom never liked her since i met in the central market of Douala when we were ten.
I was walking around in the market selling sachets of pure water, when she came to buy a sachet from me with a Barbi doll in hand. I stared at it with envy because i never had one, mom couldn't afford it. Bee saw the way i was looking at it, so she handed it to me saying "you can play with my princess." I took it and started playing with her hair when she began to cry and told her mother that I didn't see coming that i stole her princess. Her mother snatched the toy from me and slapped me, that's when mom came and shouted to her mother "never you slap my daughter again, she's not a thief". Since that incident my mother never liked her.
Even when i met Brenda in school and we became best of friends, I guess the first impression is what counts.
Everytime Brenda comes to our house, my mama will always tells me "that friend of yours is a green snake in the green grass, you won't know when she bites you. " I see now where mama was coming from.
"Actually, I am doing this for you, so you can move on with your life, go to college and all that." She replies, even managing to look apologetic.
"You are three years late for that."
"I remember very well how you begged me not to go to college without you, that you wanted us to go together, to do everything together like we promised" damn it, I am crying already, but this shit hurts.
"I remember all the time i freaking begged you to stay home with me so we could revise and revisit all the subjects that you weren't catching up on but you were feeding me with lie after lie on how you couldn't make it to place while you were busy going night clubbing, night after night." She has the audacity to look outraged, she thought 'jenny the fool' didn't know.
"I…I…Jenny it's not…"
"save it!" I cut her off.
" You don't have to explain anything to me"
"It's okay, so what are you going to do now since education is off the market" I ask her, meeting her at the gate. There is no point going inside anymore.
"I will be at my mom's boutique at the mall, she will be needing a helping hand."she begins
"And I am also trying some online courses and see how it goes." She adds. Not so convincing.
"Okay, good luck to you then."
" Guess i will head back home, there is no point going in." I say.
" You're right, you should be enrolling in a college or something." She replies.
"That's if there are still enrollment going on. talking less of admissions." I point out.
"Good luck with that too then. I need to see the dean." she says taking off.
My head is reeling. What just happened? Just like that. I am free to go to college? What made her change mind so suddenly? Just yesterday, we were talking on the phone all excitedly about meeting up today in class and adopting a new method in learning so she could pass her jam this year, now this?
Such a crazy world we are in. Guess my fuckep up luck didn't follow me today.