Summary:
Pioneer Day is here in Gravity Falls! All the towns folk are out and about, celebrating the town's founding. What adventures await Steven, on a day like this?
"Steven! Hi!"
Pearl's voice rang from the phone, a bright smile on her face.
"Hi Pearl!" Steven gave Pearl a small wave, "where is everyone?"
"Right here!" Amethyst's face came into view on the screen as she pushed Pearl aside.
"How's everything going back in Beach City?" Steven asked.
"Great! A bunch of Homeworld gems have moved into Little Homeworld, so there's a ton of new faces around," Amethyst said excitedly.
"That's good! Glad to hear that so many Gems are finding a home on Earth," Steven smiled.
"What about you? Having fun out in… Where are you again?" Amethyst asked, but before Steven could answer, Garnet came into view behind Amethyst.
"Gravity Falls," She said.
"Hi Garnet!" Steven said, giving her a little wave as well.
"Steven, I hope you're having fun there," She smiled at him.
"Yep, loads," Steven laughed, but his conversation with Bill still gnawed at his brain. It had since that day
"Steven," Garnet said, pulling Steven from his thoughts. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah! Everything is… fine…" He sighed, "Actually, something really weird happened a few days ago."
Steven told them about his encounter with Bill Cipher, about his offer, and how Steven had rejected him.
"I don't trust him," Steven finished.
The three Gems were quiet, processing what Steven had just told them. Garnet broke the silence.
"Steven," she said, "I think your intuition is right not to trust him. Many, many, years ago, Rose had mentioned being visited by a dream demon. I fear it is the same one as the one you met."
"Did my mom tell you anything about him?" Steven asked.
Garnet shook her head.
"She told me some things," Pearl chimed in. "She told me how he asked her for help with something, but wouldn't elaborate."
"Sounds like bad news," Amethyst said.
"Yeah…" Steven said, but something told him Bill wasn't done with him.
"Anyway," Amethyst said, breaking the tension, "Have anything fun planned for today?"
Steven lit up.
"Yeah, actually," Steven grabbed a poster that was sitting on the kitchen table. "A customer told me about something called 'Pioneer Day.' It's a celebration of the town's founding."
Steven put the flier back down on the table.
"I asked Stan about it, and he told me if I go, I better not come back talking like 'those people.' Don't know what that means, but I'm gonna find out," Steven said.
"Well, don't let us keep you waiting," Pearl said, "Go have fun."
Steven chuckled, "Thank you, I will."
After an exchange of goodbyes, Steven hung up. He looked at the poster again and smiled. He was going to have a fun day today, he could tell.
***
Steven decided to walk into town. He found he wasn't using his Dondai much, seeing as how walkable Gravity Falls was. Well, as walkable as a sleepy North Western town could be. He enjoyed the walk, humming a tune that he didn't know the origin of. The sun filtered through the needles of the pines that rose way above Steven's head, painting the ground with specks of gold. The songs of birds, and the chattering of squirrels followed him along his path, and soon he was in the town square. He saw booths for all kinds of things; candle dipping, carpentry, gold panning, and blacksmithing among other things. He visited some of the booths, making pleasant conversation with the people running them. He was paying for a candle when he heard a voice announce that the opening ceremonies were about to begin.
"Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!"
Steven made his way over to the stage, spotting Mabel and Dipper. He walked over to them.
"Hey, you two," Steven said, catching their attention.
"Steven!" Mabel said, running over to him and giving him a big hug.
"Happy Pioneer Day!" He said, giving Mabel an affectionate head pat.
Mabel grabbed Steven's hand and directed him to where Dipper was standing.
"Hey, Dipper," Steven said.
"Oh hey Steven, isn't this cool?" Dipper said, gesturing to everything around them in a sweeping motion.
"Yeah! I had a customer tell me about it, so I figured I'd check it out," Steven said, letting go of Mabel's hand.
"Sh! It's starting!" Mabel whispered loudly.
A blonde girl around Mabel's age walked up to the mic and gave it a few taps before speaking.
"Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest." She flipped her hair, "I'm also very rich."
The crowd applauded, including Mabel and Dipper. Dipper a soft golf clap, and Mabel clapping so hard Steven was sure her hands were gonna fall off.
"Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself," Pacifica scanned the crowd.
Mabel gasped, "Audience participation!"
"I don't know, Mabel. Isn't that girl kinda your arch-enemy?" Dipper asked.
Mabel brushed him off, "Pfft, that's water under the bridge."
As she walked up to the stage, Steven looked down at Dipper.
"Arch-enemy?" He asked.
"Oh yeah," Dipper said, "A lot happened at the party a few nights ago. A lot." Dipper stared into the distance for a few seconds before continuing. "Thanks for covering for me and Wendy at the ticket table, by the way."
Steven smiled, "No problem, I was pretty tired that night anyway, so no partying for me."
"Our first newcomer is…" Pacifica said, stopping when she saw Mabel climbing onto stage. Her stare got icy, "Mabel."
Mabel, oblivious to Pacifica's glare, raised her arms and waved, addressing the crowd.
"Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right, guys? USA! USA!"
The crowd chanted USA. One guy got really into it and started crying a little bit.
Steven cheered along with the crowd, being swept up in the energy of it all. He watched as Mabel and Pacifica exchanged silent words, watching Mabel's excited face fall.
Pacifica said one last thing to her before addressing the crowd, "Give her a hand everybody!"
Everyone cheered as Mabel sadly walked off the stage. Dipper and Steven exchanged worried looks before making their way towards Mabel. They caught her at the edge of the crowd.
"Hey, you okay?" Dipper asked.
"I need some old-timey butterscotch," she said dispiritedly.
"Let's get out of here," Steven said, looking back to see Pacifica smiling on stage. What had she said to Mabel?
***
After getting their butterscotch, they all sat on the steps in front of a Nathaniel Northwest statue. Mabel unwrapped a butterscotch candy and tossed it into her mouth, sucking on it for a moment before sighing.
"Dipper, Steven, can I ask you guys something?"
They both nod.
"Do you guys think I'm silly?" She asked.
"Uh, nooooo?"
"Absolutely," Steven and Dipper said in tandem.
"I knew it!" Mabel threw her hands up into the air before letting her head fall onto her knees, "the nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke."
She took off the earrings and threw them as far as she could before taking off her sweater before tying around her waist.
"C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!" Dipper said.
Steven chimed in, "it's a puppy playing basketball! What's not to love?"
"I did love it until Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!" She sighed, looking back at the statue. "Nathaniel Northwest was probably serious."
Dipper stood up and glared at the statue. "Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she gets to treat everyone like garbage? Someone needs to take her down a peg."
Dipper gasped, remembering something.
"Wait a minute! I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great-grandfather before," he took out Journal 3 and started flipping through the pages.
Steven placed a hand on Mabel's back, rubbing it in a comforting way.
"There's nothing wrong with being silly, Mabel," Steven smiled at her.
"Yeah, until you're the town laughing stock," she said dejectedly.
"C'mon, you don't really think people think that about you. I heard you made some friends the night of the party, surely they don't think you're a joke," Steven said.
"Yeah, two people out of an entire town," she looked over at Dipper, "even my own twin thinks I'm silly."
"Got it!" Dipper said, showing the book to Steven and Mabel. "Of course! Oh, this is perfect," he cleared his throat and started speaking in a deep voice.
"In my investigations…" he switched back to his normal voice, "Should-should I do the voice?"
Mabel and Steven both shook their heads.
"Eh, I'll just read normal," Dipper looked back down at the book, finding his place again. "In my investigations, I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls! I believe the secret is emburied somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code."
Dipper removed the folded up piece of paper taped to the Journal. He unfolded the document, revealing a complex series of letters, symbols and words.
"Oh man! If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy!" Dipper said, looking between the two of them.
"Really?" Mabel's eyes grew wide.
Dipper nodded.
"I gotta investigate this!" Dipper said, standing up.
Steven smiled, "don't you mean we've got to investigate this?"
"Yeah! Conspiracies are serious, right?" Mabel said.
"Oh yeah, definitely," Dipper said, nodding.
Mabel smiled, "Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could ever call me silly again!"
"Yeah!" Dipper raised a hand for a fist bump, "Mystery Twins?"
Mabel looked up as Steven, "Mystery trio."
They execute a 3-way fist bump.
"Where to first?" Steven asked.
Dipper struck a heroic pose, pointing in a direction.
"To the library!"
***
"Alright, guys, if we can prove that Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it'll finally put Pacifica in her place," Dipper said, skimming through the shelves of books.
"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious," Mabel opened a book, but bent her head down to lap up an unwrapped butterscotch candy that sat on the table. "Seeerious."
Steven looked at the books Dipper had gathered on the table. They all were about ciphers and codes; and how to crack them.
Dipper came back to the table and started slipping slides into the projector.
"We just need to crack this code. Let me see.." he turned on the projector and Steven watched as an image lit up on the wall in front of them. "It's not Egyptian," he flipped to the next slide, "It's not numerology," he flipped to the next slide, "It's not- wait of course!" He held up the piece of parchment, comparing it to what was projected on the wall. "The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"
Dipper reached across the table for the lit candle that sat on in front of him.
"Dipper, I don't think-" Steven started, but was cut off by Mabel.
"Ta-da! I made a hat!" There was a pause before she sighed, "ugh, I just did something silly again."
"Mabel…" Steven walked over and patted her back.
"Wait," Dipper looked at the folded up parchment on Mabel's head, "Mabel! You folded it into a map!" He looked down at the candle in his hand, "and I was gonna burn it."
Before any of them could say anything else about the map, they overheard Sheriff Blubbs talking to the librarian.
"We're on the look out for 3 kids that might be reading," he said.
"We're hunting 'em down for secret reasons," Deputy Durkand rang a bell over his head and hollered.
The three of them quickly snuck under the table, out of sight from Blubbs and Durland.
"Maybe we should take this elsewhere…" Steven warned.
***
"Looks like the map led us to," Mabel lowered the raised map, revealing the Gravity Falls History Museum behind it. "The Gravity Falls History Museum."
"You realize what this means," Dipper looked up at the building and squinted, "We're gonna have to break in."
Flash forward 30 seconds, and a museum attendant was handing the three of them balloons.
"…and those are your free Pioneer Day passes, and balloons! Have a fun time!"
"We're in," Dipper muttered.
Steven looked around as they walked into the museum.
"Beach City doesn't have a history museum," he said, looking at all the dioramas and historical artifacts. Steven chuckled, "More like my family was the history museum."
Mabel thought for a moment.
"I don't think you've ever really told us about your family," she said.
"Well," Steven stopped and examined a case displaying Native American arrowheads. "That's a bit complicated."
Dipper cut their conversation off.
"According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right… Here!" He said, pointing at a painting on the wall.
"We've got to figure this one out quick, I have a feeling those cops were at the library to check out books…" Dipper said.
"I don't think the one with the bell can read," Mabel said.
They all approached the painting, staring at it.
"So what is it anyway?" Steven said.
The three of them stared at the painting, trying to understand it. Mabel got bored and walked over to a bench that sat in front of the painting. She sat down before flipping herself upside down.
"Hey, painting, be less stupid," suddenly, she gasped. "It worked!"
"What?" Dipper said, rushing over to the bench to stare at the painting upside down. He laughed in triumph, "Steven! Check this out!"
Steven walked over and turned upside down, head hanging off the edge of the bench. True to Mabel's word, the painting revealed an image of a winged Angel statue pointing left.
"Wait, I think I've seen that statue in the cemetery!" Mabel said.
"Let's go, quick!" Dipper said, quickly flipping over and standing up.
He swayed, "woah, head rush."
Mabel and Steven also flipped back over and stood up, earning themselves their own head rushes.
"We gotta go, I think I hear Deputy Durland's bell," Steven said.
They rushed towards the entrance of the museum, coming to a quick stop when they saw who was standing in the entrance way.
"Sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons," they heard the museum attendant say.
Durland sighed, disappointed, "Why did we even come."
"How are we supposed to get past them!" Dipper said, fidgeting with his hands.
"I have an idea," Steven said, "do you guys trust me?"
There was a pause, one too long for Steven to consider normal. Mabel looked at Dipper, a little worry in her eyes. After a few more moments, Dipper spoke.
"You know what? Yeah. Okay yeah, Steven, I trust you," he said.
"Okay, so, Mabel, get on my back," Steven said, kneeling down. "And Dipper, get on her back,"
"You sure you can carry us both?" Dipper asked.
But before Steven could respond, Mabel had already climbed on Steven's back.
"C'mon Dipper! This is gonna be so cool!" She said.
Dipper looked at the both of them before shrugging and climbing on.
Steven stood up, effortlessly carrying the weight of the two tweens.
"You guys ready?" Steven said with a wicked grin.
Mabel nodded.
"Ready for wha-AAAHHHH!!"
Dipper screamed as Steven turned pink and ran past the two cops, who didn't have a chance to respond before Steven was already out the door. He ran all of the way to the cemetery, making sure to leave the cops far behind them.
Once they had arrived, Steven stopped glowing pink, and knelt down for the twins to dismount.
Mabel laughed, "That was fun!"
"Woah…" was all Dipper could say.
The three of them approached the angel statue.
"She must be pointing in the direction of the next clue!" Dipper said, looking off in the direction the statue was pointing.
"Oh gross! Guys look, she's picking my nose. Ach!"
The two of them turn around just in time to see a secret door open up in the grave of the statue… and to see Mabel had put the statue's finger in her nose.
"Mabel, look!" Dipper said, pointing at the entrance in the ground.
"Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!" She tried to jump down from the statue, but her nose was still on the statue's finger, causing it to tug on her nose.
"Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow." She carefully removed her nose from the statue's finger before jumping down and landing on the ground next to Steven.
Dipper pulled out a flashlight and the three of them began their descent into the grave.
"Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode. I feel so serious," she unwrapped another candid and ate it, dropping the wrapper onto the ground.
"Hey," Steven picked up the wrapper and handed it back to Mabel, "no littering, put it in your pocket."
Mabel sheepishly took the wrapper and shoved it into her pocket.
"Okay, look out for booby traps," Dipper said.
"Ha! Booby traps," Mabel took a step ahead of them, stepping on a tile that sunk a few inches into the ground beneath her feet.
"Uh oh," she said.
Suddenly, dozens of darts came shooting out of the wall towards the three of them.
"Tranquilizer darts!" Dipper yelled.
Steven quickly jumped into action, summoning his shield and blocking the three of them behind it.
"Go!" He shouted, and they all ran as the darts bounced off of the shield.
Mabel tripped, grabbing at Dipper, who grabbed at Steven, and suddenly the three of them were tumbling down a tunnel into a room filled with historical artifacts and documents.
Steven was the first to recover.
"Woah," he looked around the strange room as Mabel and Dipper caught their breaths.
Steven looked around the room to see a myriad of historical artifacts and documents labeled as TOP SECRET.
Mabel stood up and picked up a stack of documents, flipping through it.
"Ah man, Benjamín Franklin secretly was a woman!" She muttered to herself.
Steven picked up a stack, skimming through it before freezing at a page. It was a picture of his mother. She was wearing a military uniform, and was shaking hands with some pioneer settlers. Next to her was Pearl, also in uniform, same with Garnet and Amethyst.
"What is it, Steven?" Mabel asked, peeking around him to see what he was looking at.
"Remember how I said my family is complicated," he said.
"Yeah," Mabel responded.
Steven pointed at the image.
"That's them."
"Woah!" Mabel looked closer at the parchment in Steven's hands. "But, how?" She asked
"Well, they're also Gem, like me. But full Gem. So they don't age like humans," he looked at his mother's smiling face. "My mom… she's the one shaking this guy's hand," he pointed at the settler, "but she's not around anymore. These three-" he pointed at Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst, "-were my caretakers growing up. They were my three moms. Well-" he pointed at Amethyst, "Amethyst was more of an older sister figure."
"Amethyst? Like the gem stone?"
Steven nodded, "Yeah. This is Pearl-" he pointed at Pearl, "-and this is Garnet."
Mabel's eyes grew wide, "Immortal gemstones."
"Hey guys! Check this out!" Dipper called from across the room.
The two of them turned to see Dipper shining his flashlight at a Manila folder labeled 'The Northwest Cover-Up.'
"Jackpot!" He said.
The three of them approached the podium the folder was sitting on.
"Now we'll find out who the real town founder was," Dipper said, reaching for the folder. He opened it and read aloud.
"'Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fable, the founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud… As well as a waste-shoveling village idiot,'" Dipper laughed in triumph, "Oh, bad news for Pacifica. What'll the papers hear about this!"
"Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly again!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air.
Dipper turned the page.
"'The true founder of gravity falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire.'"
"Who's Quebrim Trembley?" Steven asked.
"That's none of your business!"
The three gasped and quickly turned around to see Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland.
Durland cheered and rang his bell, "Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo! Hmm… Whoo-hoo…"
He fell forward, revealing his several tranquilizer darts, sticking out of his head and back.
"He got hit with quite a few of those darts," Blubbs said.
They all stared at the passes out Durland for a beat before Steven spoke.
"How did you catch up so fast?" Steven asked.
Sheriff Blubbs held up a set of car keys.
"I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security," he said.
"What do you mean, 'National security?'" Dipper asked.
"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?" Mabel questioned.
"See for yourself," Blubbs removed his hat and took out a reel of film and placed it in a projector.
"Wait how-" Steven started, but cut himself off once the reel started playing.
It opened to a man in what looked like a PR room. He cleared his throat and addressed the camera.
"'If you're watching this, then, you are one of eight people in the United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete.'" He looked offscreen at someone, "What? No? Ho! Well that's a relief," he looked back at the camera, "Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: the eight-and-a-half President of the United States.'"
"President?" the three sudden unison.
"'After winning the 1837 election in a landslide, Quentin Trembley quickly gained reputation as America's silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the Supreme Court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His State of the Union speech was even worse.'"
The film cut to a voice reenactment recording of Quentin Trembley.
'"The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders,"
He cut back to the man at the podium.
"'He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls after plumbing into it at high speed. Tremblay's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as president and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of present Tremblay's body are unknown.'"
The film cut to black as it ends.
"Until now," Sherif Blubbs said, pointing at an amber-color rectangular block.
To Steven's horror, inside was Quentin Trembley.
"Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something?" Dipper asked, seeming unfazed by the fact they were looking at a fully preserved man from the 19th century.
Blubbs shook his head, "The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now thanks to you it's complete."
"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers?" Durland held up a plastic candy wrapper, the same wrapper as the one in Mabel's pocket.
Mabel face-palmed, "Ugh, silly!"
"Not that you know the truth, we'll, we can't let you go around talk in' about it," Blubbs said.
"Does that mean-" Dipper started.
"Are you gonna kill us?!" Mabel cut him off.
Steven was just about to jump in front of the twins when Deputy Durland screamed.
"OH NO!"
"No, no," Sheriff Blubbs patted on the back, "Calm down now, buddy, calm down," he looked at the twins, "we're just gonna escort you and all of this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way."
Steven jumped in front of the twins, "We aren't going anywhere with you."
"Look, kid, we don't want a fight-" Blubbs started, but Steven cut him off.
"Neither do I. So since we are on the same page, why don't you let us go?"
"Nuh-uh, not happening," Blubbs crossed his arms.
Suddenly, Steven felt a needle in his neck, and looked over to see Deputy Durland, standing off to one side, arm outstretched like he just threw something. Steven reached up, and pulled, looking at the tranquilizer dart in his hand. The corners of his vision started to darken as he looked back at the twins. Their yells were muffled as Steven eyes rolled back in his head, and everything went black.