"I can't do this,"
Charlotte's voice trembles, her eyes darting anxiously from my face to the floor.
"I'm not... I don't think I'm well equipped to help you to this extent."
I stare at her for a brief moment. Her hesitation doesn't surprise me, but I don't have time for reluctance right now.
I take a deep breath, trying to ease the tension. "Charlotte, you can. You have to."
Her shoulders slump as if the very idea is too much, and I can see the fear creeping into her eyes. Not now.
I know for a fact that I can trust Charlotte. At least some extent. For the past week I've been carefully observing her and summoning her to my presence most of the time.
I have noticed that she doesn't talk much with the other maid— almost like they don't engage in conversations— as far as I can tell, she doesn't really like Hannah.
Tell me she isn't a gem.
My mind flashes back to a few hours ago, When this whole plan starts coming together.
it's early afternoon. A silent knock came through my door. "You called, My lady?" Charlotte silently steps in closing the door behind her.
"Yes. Charlotte, I need you to fetch a range of cloaks for me. Something that isn't too attention-grabbing and make sure no one knows about it." I sit up from the long armchair.
Here eyes widen, first in confusion which turned to obedience. I don't have what I need for tonight, but I know Charlotte will be able to get them.
She scurries off without a word, though I can practically see the questions swirling in her mind. She's far too curious for her own good, even with all her timidness. When she returns, her arms full of cloaks and garments, I thank her quickly.
"Thank you, Charlotte," I say, taking the cloaks from her. She stands there, still holding a couple more, her eyes full of questions she's too afraid to ask.
She doesn't say anything, but the way she looks at me—she doesn't have to. I know exactly what she's thinking. She's wondering why I'm doing this, what I'm planning. She's hesitant, but I decide right then that there's no point in keeping secrets from her.
I lay the dusigues and the cloaks across the bed. "Tonight, I'm going out. There's something I need to find out, and I can't do it if I stay here."
Charlotte's eyes widen even more, but she still doesn't say anything. Her silence is unnerving, but I press on. "I need your help, Charlotte. You're the only one I can trust with this."
Her lips part slightly, but she doesn't argue. She just stands there, clutching the remaining garments, her knuckles turning white.
"I need you to be my eyes and ears here in the house," I continue, stepping closer to her. "No one can come into my room while I'm gone—especially not Hannah. Do you understand?"
Finally, she nods. It's hesitant, and I can see the fear in her face, but she nods. "I don't know if I can, My lady," she whispers, her voice shaky.
"You're the only maid I can rely on," I tell her firmly. "You'll stay near my room, keep watch, and make sure no one notices anything strange."
Her hands are trembling slightly as she holds out the last cloak to me. I can see she's scared, unsure if she can pull this off. But I don't have time to comfort her. I need her to understand that I can't do this without her.
"Can I trust you, Charlotte?" I ask, looking her directly in the eyes.
"Yes," she whispers again, her voice barely audible, but there's a determination in her that wasn't there before. She's scared, but she'll do it. She knows she has to.
I take the last cloak from her hands. "Good," I say. "You'll do fine."
Now, back in the present, I can see that same fear rising to the surface again. I step closer to her, lowering my voice to something soft, something reassuring.
"Charlotte, think of it as a favor. I promise you won't have to worry. Once I've safely gone out and gotten what I need, I'll pay you. Handsomely."
I see her hesitate, chewing nervously on her lip. I wait, holding my breath, and then finally, she nods. It's a reluctant nod, but it's enough.
"Alright," she whispers.
Relief floods through me, but there's still more to be done. "Good. Now, I need you to show me the servant passageway. I'll use it to sneak out tonight." I pause, watching her closely.
"And, Charlotte... I'll need you to distract the guards."
Her eyes widen again, but I press on before she can argue. "Don't worry," I add, trying to sound as calm and confident as possible with a small smile. "You'll figure it out. You're smarter than you think."
Charlotte swallows hard, but she nods again. I can only hope that her nerves don't get the better of her.
Too much depends on this now.
--------
I'm already regretting agreeing to the lady's request.
It's dark—too dark. My hands are clammy as I step out into the cold night air, my heart pounding so loudly I'm sure the guards will hear it too.
The cool night air biting at my skin, as I walk towards the Gateside.
I'm supposed to distract them so the Lady can sneak out, but I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. How in the world am I supposed to distract two fully trained guards?
I have no idea how to do that! She made it sound simple enough, but now that I'm here, I'm panicking.
The guards are standing there, chatting with each other like nothing's happening. I try to stay calm as I approach, but my mind is spinning.
They don't notice me at first, which makes me even more anxious.
What am I supposed to do? Just strike up a conversation? Ask about the weather? No, that's ridiculous.
I clear my throat as I approach them, and they both look at me with raised eyebrows.
"Uh...hello," I stammer.
Great start, Charlotte.
"I just... um, I thought maybe you two might be... thirsty?"
They blink at me, clearly confused. One of them leans on his spear, looking down at me. "Thirsty?" he repeats.
"Yes!" I nod way too enthusiastically. "I mean, standing here all night must be exhausting, right? I could fetch you some water... or wine... or... anything!"
The other guard, a tall, broad-shouldered man, exchanges a glance with his partner.
"We're fine, miss," he says slowly, like I'm the one who needs help. "Thanks, though."
I stand there awkwardly, my mind racing for something else.
Distract them, Charlotte! Distract them!
"Wait!" I blurt out. "I-I think I saw something... uh... moving! Over there!" I point wildly towards the bushes. They both follow my finger, but they don't move.
"Something moving?" the first guard asks, sounding skeptical.
"Yes! It could be... uh... dangerous? Maybe?" My voice is rising, and I know I sound ridiculous, but what else can I do?
The guards exchange another look, clearly not buying it. The second one chuckles. "I think you need some sleep, miss."
I try again, more desperately this time. "No, really! What if it's... a wild animal? Or a thief! Shouldn't you check?"
They don't budge. One even yawns.
"Okay, fine," I mutter, trying to recover some dignity. "I'll just... go."
I walk away, feeling cheeks burn with embarrassment.
That was terrible. But I need to try again. The Lady is counting on me.
So, I take a deep breath and march back over to them.
"Did I mention there's a fire in the kitchen?"
----
What did I do just do...
Did I really do the right thing by trusting Charlotte?
I can still picture her fumbling in front of the guards, her anxious energy spilling out in a way that was almost endearing.
I take a few steps down the path, careful to avoid any shadows that might catch the guards' attention.
I'm wrapped in a cozy grey cloak that softly shadows my face. The fabric feels surprisingly smooth against my skin, draping comfortably around me and falling just beneath my knees. It's a one-piece design with a knee-length robe that matches perfectly, cinched at the waist with a small brown belt. To complete the look, I choose dark, loose-fitting trousers that allow me to move easily.
Honestly, I feel so cool.
Just then I spot Leon, my black horse, waiting patiently. I had hidden him here earlier today, knowing that going to the stable would draw too much attention.
As I approach, Leon lifts his head, and I can't help but smile. "Hey there, boy," I say, reaching out to scratch behind his ears. He nuzzles my hand, and I feel a wave of affection wash over me.
I think back to when I had asked the stable boy for a horse earlier today. We'd gone through all the usual ones, sturdy, obedient creatures, but none of them really caught my attention. Then we stumbled upon Leon, standing slightly apart from the rest, his coat sleek and black, his presence commanding.
The stable boy had warned me immediately, "That one's no good, my lady. Leon doesn't take kindly to people. He's unpredictable, doesn't like being touched, and has thrown off everyone who's tried to ride him."
But there was something about him that drew me in. He looked wild, untamable, yet there was a quiet intelligence in his eyes. I dismissed the warnings and stepped closer, wanting to at least see him up close. The stable boy followed behind, still mumbling about how it wasn't worth the trouble, how the horse would probably bolt or lash out.
And then it happened. I passed Leon, instead of recoiling or acting up like the stable boy had predicted, he let out a soft whine. It was almost... gentle, like he was asking for my attention. The stable boy froze, his mouth hanging open in disbelief.
"That... that's never happened before," he stammered, his voice filled with awe.
I didn't say anything at first, just extended my hand slowly, cautiously. Leon didn't shy away. In fact, he leaned into my touch, nuzzling my palm like we'd known each other for ages. I could feel the warmth of his breath, the softness of his coat under my fingers.
It was like he'd chosen me.
As I mount him, i felt a little at ease somehow. It's comforting to know that, despite everything that has changed, some things remain constant.
"Let's get going,"
I murmur, nudging him gently with my heels. He starts off at a steady pace, and I take a moment to admire the city around me as we ride.
The gentle light of the moon illuminates the cobblestone streets, and I find myself in awe of the city's beauty as I approach. It feels like this is the first time I'm genuinely admiring it since my reincarnation.
"Wow, it's even more beautiful than I remember," I whisper, taking in the detailed architecture and the twinkling lights coming from shop canopies.
Soon, we reach the center of the city, where the energy is almost contagious. I take a deep breath, feeling thrilled. I can't draw too much attention to myself, so I decide to hide Leon somewhere discreet.
I scan the area and find a small alleyway that appears perfect. "Stay here, Leon. I'll be back soon," I say, patting him gently. He whinnies softly in response, and I smile before slipping off his back and directing him into the shadows.
Once I secure him, I bid him farewell and set off on foot. I need to gather information about the guild, and all I have are vague memories from the original book.
It mentioned something about the guild being related to some kind of name, but I definitely remember the drinks I need to order to get the right information. There is a bartender mentioned as one of their members, and I recall that his tavern's name ended with "les."
"Molles" or "Vorles"—something like that.
I don't know much about the tarvern or bartender but I definitely remember the drinks I need to order to get the right information.
I check out two or three taverns as I navigate the bustling streets. Finally, I spot a sign that seems familiar:
Dovales Inn.
This is it; this is the place where I might uncover the information I need to find the guild.
Taking a deep breath, I pull my cloak tighter around me and step inside.
—-
The warmth and noise envelop me as soon as I step inside.
It's bustling here—people laughing, chatting, and mugs clinking—but there's a subtle tension that I can't ignore. I look around the room, my heart beating a bit faster than I'd prefer. The air feels heavy, as if danger is hiding just out of sight.
I make my way to the bar, trying to blend in with the crowd. It feels like everyone's eyes are on me, though I know it's just my nerves playing tricks.
My palms are damp, and my heart won't stop pounding in my chest. I hate feeling this anxiousness, but I can't afford to show it.
Not here, please.
I stand near the bar, waiting for the bartender to finish with a group of rowdy customers. My fingers tap against the wooden counter patientl and lightly.
Finally, he turns toward me, his face unreadable.
"What'll it be?" he asks, his voice casual, but there's something in his eyes. A flicker of recognition? Suspicion? I can't tell.
Probably my paranoia.
"I hear your Moonlit Brew is exceptional," I say, referencing the Information Guild in code.
It's a risk, but then again, coming here is a risk all on its own.
His brow arches, feigning ignorance. "Moonlit Brew? Sorry, miss, we don't serve that here. Perhaps a Silent Spirit instead?" His casual tone betrays nothing, but we both know what's at stake.
I shake my head slowly. "No, I'm not one for cheap drink. Maybe a Crimson Elixir?" My words are deliberate, letting him know I'm not here for idle gossip.
His eyes narrow as he studies me, weighing the offer. "Ah, I see you've got a specific taste," he says carefully. "But that one's not easy to find. Requires a certain… trust."
"I think I've brought enough of that with me," I reply, my tone calm but insistent.
"Perhaps something with a little more shadow to it?"
There's a flicker of something in his eyes, and he finally relents, leaning in closer, his voice barely a murmur.
"Fine. But this isn't exactly something we keep on the shelves, miss. If you want that, you'll need to find Satrel Dern."
I pause, letting the name sink in, tasting it on my tongue. "Satrel Dern?" I repeat, watching for any hint of a trap.
"That's right," he replies, a smirk pulling at his lips. "Find Satrel Dern, and you'll find what you're looking for." He straightens, his voice shifting back to its usual volume, like we were discussing nothing more than a common drink.
"Now, if there's nothing else, miss, I've got other customers."
Before I can turn to leave, he adds quietly, "I've done what I can, but getting in? That's not for me to decide. You'll need someone with the right… connections."
I thank him, sliding a bag of good coins across the counter. He gives me a nod, his face still unreadable, before turning to the next customer.
I left just as how I entered but the information I need, except my path forward isn't clear.
I need someone with connections, someone who can get me into the guild. At least for now, I have a direction.
But who on earth is Satrel Dern?
—-
I find myself walking through the night market, lost in thought, the lively sounds and smells barely registering. The whole situation feels heavier with each step I take.
The book never mentioned any character by that name, who can it possible be? I doubt it's the name of a real person. What kind of parent names thier child Satrel? But wait, it sounds more like a code name.
It's definitely a code name but how do I find this person? But how do I even begin? Where do I search?
The rich scent of roasted meat pulls me from my thoughts, and my stomach growls in response. I stop at a vendor, unable to resist the savory aroma.
The vendor hands me a skewer, and I toss silver coins his way. After a few bites, I spot some fresh apples and grab a few for Leon.
He'll appreciate a treat after tonight's adventure.
I smile, thinking of him waiting patiently where I left him.
As I walk toward the hidden spot where I tied Leon earlier, I suddenly stop in my tracks. A cold realization washes over me.
I don't remember the path back to the estate.
My head filled with flashes back to my old life. My sense of direction was bad then, too—always getting lost unless I was going somewhere familiar, like home or work. It's just like back in modern times. I barely knew how to go about outside of my mind.
But then relief washes over me as I remember Leon.
He'll know the way back to the estate. I can just ask someone for directions, and he'll handle the rest.
Except—my heart plummets—The spot where I tied him up is empty. Panic grips me as I frantically scan the area.
Leon isn't there.
He's gone, and so is my way home.
——
I can't sit still.
I pace back and forth, my steps quickening with every passing minute.
The Lady was supposed to return at least an hour ago.
The pit in my stomach grows, twisting tighter as my mind races with horrible possibilities.
What if something happened to her? What if she got lost or worse, caught? I had promised her I would cover for her, keep her absence hidden. But what if she never returns?
At the thought, I shake my head, trying to push away the terrifying images flooding my mind.
No, she has to be fine. My Lady is smart—brave, even.
But still... I can't help imagining all the things that could go wrong. The hours feel longer, and the manor feels quieter than it should be. Silence has never been so terrifying to me.
Suddenly, a voice calls out, piercing through my frantic thoughts. "Charlotte!."
Of all people, it had to be her. The last person I want to see right now. I freeze, unable to respond, dread washing over me as I turn to face her.
___
"Charlotte," I call out, my voice firm. "What are you doing here at this hour?"
She jumps slightly, as if l've caught her in some mischief, and then scrambles to compose herself.
"Oh, Hannah,"
She says with a nervous smile. "I was, um, just waiting here in case My Lady needed anything. She said she might get thirsty later and-well—I wanted to be close by, just in case."
I raise an eyebrow. Her excuse sounds too rehearsed, and her wide eyes tell me there's something she isn't saying.
"Is that so?" I step closer, noticing how she shifts slightly, as if trying to block the door.
"I'll take it from here, Charlotte," I tell her, motioning for her to leave.
"I-can't," she says, her voice wobbling. "The Lady... she specifically told me to stay here."
Charlotte's never defied me like this before, not once in all the time she's worked here. My gaze flicks to the door behind her. I hadn't planned on entering Lady Andrelise's room tonight, but now, with the way Charlotte is acting, my curiosity is piqued.
What on earth could she be hiding?
"Step aside, Charlotte," I say, my patience thinning.
"I'll check on her myself."
"No!" Charlotte blurts out, then quickly tries to recover. "I mean-there's no need, really. The Lady's resting, and she wouldn't want to be disturbed."
I fix her with a cold stare. "Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot do in this house?"
My voice rises as I step closer, towering over her. "Do you forget your place, girl?"
Charlotte stammers something incoherent, but I don't wait to hear it. My hand moves swiftly, and I slap her, hard, across the face. "Move."
Her head snaps to the side, but she doesn't cry out still standing there without moving an inch as she is shaking.
I slap her again, then once more for good measure. "Move," I hiss, pushing her out of the way.
She stumbles back, clutching her cheek, but she doesn't try to stop me again. I grab the door handle and push it open, stepping into the dimly lit room.
And then I freeze, shocked, as I take in the sight before me...