Chapter 13 - The pain

I heard Hilda's sharp intake of breath, but I didn't turn to face her. I couldn't bear to see the pity or sadness in her eyes. I just kept talking, the words spilling out of me like a dam had burst.

"I tried to be that woman for him, Hilda. I really did. But every time I looked at him, I saw the disappointment in his eyes. The disappointment that I wasn't Zoey. That I couldn't give him what he wanted."

My voice cracked, and I felt a lump form in my throat. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself.

"I couldn't take it anymore, Hilda. I couldn't take the feeling of being unwanted, a feeling of being a desperate little gold digger..." Zoey's words still stung.

When she called me a 'desperate little gold digger', I felt terribly insulted and slapped her. But what followed was even more painful. Liam had given her my room as an apology. The humiliation I felt, the pain that had shot through my veins.

I shut my eyes, willing myself not to cry. Not to be broken. I could feel Hilda's eyes on me. I knew she was trying to process everything I had just told her. I knew she felt sorry, felt pity for me, but I didn't want that. It makes me feel horrible.

Opening my eyes, I managed a smile. "When I left, I found my real parents," I said, finally turning to face Hilda.

Her eyes were wide with shock, her lips parted in a silent gasp. The coffee she had in her mouth spilled, dripping down her lips and pooling on the table in a small, dark puddle.

"Your real parents?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

I nodded, a mix of emotions swirling inside me. Hilda's eyes never left mine, her expression a picture of incredulity.

"H– how?" she stammered, her voice shaking slightly.

I smiled wistfully, lowering my eyes to my coffee. My slender, fair, and pedicured fingers trailed the rim of my cup, a gentle, soothing motion. "My older brother found me."

I paused, collecting my thoughts before continuing. "That was the day I had a miscarriage. I went to Liam's office, hoping to surprise him and try to make our relationship work, but instead, I discovered the depth of his betrayal."

My mind drifted back to that day, the memories still etched vividly in my mind. The man I had bumped into at the parking lot... I had no idea then that he was my brother.

I took a deep breath, focusing on the present. Hilda's eyes were fixed on me, her expression a mixture of curiosity and concern. I knew I had to tell her the whole story, but it was hard to relive those moments.

I cleared my throat, lifting my head to meet Hilda's gaze. I forced a smile, trying to appear carefree, as if the memories I had just shared didn't still linger, piercing my heart like a thousand knives. But it was a fragile facade, and I knew it.

"Take a guess who my family is," I asked, my voice light, attempting to inject a sense of playfulness into the atmosphere. But it was a failed effort, and I knew it. Hilda's eyes were already welling up with tears, her expression a mixture of sadness and compassion.

She knew me too well, knew that I wasn't as okay as I pretended to be. The pain was still there, simmering just beneath the surface, waiting to erupt like a volcano. I could feel it, a heavy weight pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

Hilda's tears were a mirror to my own, reflecting the anguish and heartache that I had tried to keep hidden. I felt a lump form in my throat as I watched her tears fall, my own eyes stinging with unshed tears.

"Oh, Jess," Hilda whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. She pulled her chair back, got up, and rushed to me, enveloping me in a tight hug.

I felt a wave of tears wash over me as she held me close, her warmth and compassion seeping into my skin. I wrapped my arms around her, holding on tightly as the dam finally broke, and I began to sob.

Hilda stroked my hair, whispering soft words of comfort in my ear. "I'm so sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone."

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I cried, the pain and heartache pouring out of me like a river. Hilda's hug was a lifeline, a reminder that I wasn't alone, that someone cared.

As we stood there, holding each other, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. It was a fragile peace, one that would likely be shattered again soon, but for now, it was enough.

…

"Are you sure you want to return to your adopted mother's place? You can live with me, you know?" Hilda asked as we walked down the street. She was walking me to where I could get a cab.

I hesitated, considering her offer, but my mind was made up. "If I don't return to the hotel, Kristen might grow worried and involve my family," I explained. "My mom is just recovering from her long-term illness. I don't want to hinder her treatment."

But there was another reason I needed to return to the hotel, one I didn't share with Hilda. Liam. I feared he'd track me down to my adopted parents' or Hilda's place, and I couldn't risk running into him again.

Hilda nodded understandingly. "That makes sense. But you must be careful with Mr. Kristen. He's no different from Liam."

I chuckled, a hint of determination in my voice. "Of course, I'm protecting my heart more this time. Also, I'll be starting university in a few days, so my mind will be preoccupied." I hoped that would be the case, anyway. Little did I know what lay ahead.