The next few days passed in a haze of tense silence. Qin Lan and Lu Yan continued to live in the same house, sharing the same space, yet there was a new distance between them—one shaped by fragile truths and lingering doubts.
Qin Lan found herself retreating more and more, seeking refuge in her own thoughts, her mind plagued by the contradictions in her heart. She couldn't deny that Lu Yan had been sincere when he said he wanted to move forward, but the shadows of his past, especially the lingering presence of Song Rui, loomed large.
In the mornings, she would rise early, avoiding breakfast with him. She would immerse herself in work, meetings, and running errands, keeping herself so busy that by the time she returned home, she was physically exhausted. But it did little to ease the storm brewing inside her.
Lu Yan, for his part, respected her need for space. He didn't push or demand answers, though Qin Lan could feel his watchful gaze on her during the few moments they did cross paths. There were no more late-night conversations, no more confessions of vulnerability. Just a quiet, simmering tension that neither of them was ready to address.
---
One afternoon, as Qin Lan was going through her emails, she received a message from Zhang Lei, her best friend. The subject line read: "Girls' Night?"
She opened it, already knowing what Zhang Lei had in mind. Come out for drinks tonight! You need a break from being Mrs. CEO. I'll drag you out if I have to.
Qin Lan smiled despite herself. Zhang Lei had a knack for making her feel lighter, even in the worst of times. Maybe a night out was exactly what she needed—a break from the heaviness that had been pressing down on her.
"I'll be there," Qin Lan replied, her fingers tapping out the message with a sudden sense of anticipation. A part of her felt guilty for being excited about a distraction, but she knew she couldn't keep going like this—stuck in limbo between the past and the future.
---
The bar Zhang Lei had chosen was a trendy, upscale place downtown, filled with young professionals unwinding after a long day at work. The lighting was low, the atmosphere buzzing with the hum of conversation and soft laughter. As soon as Qin Lan walked in, she spotted Zhang Lei at a table near the back, waving her over enthusiastically.
"Qin Lan!" Zhang Lei exclaimed, pulling her into a tight hug as soon as she was close. "You look amazing, as always!"
Qin Lan smiled, though she knew she probably looked more tired than anything. "Thanks. I really needed this."
Zhang Lei grinned and handed her a cocktail. "That's what I'm here for. Now spill—what's been going on with you and Lu Yan?"
Qin Lan sighed, taking a long sip of her drink. "It's… complicated."
Zhang Lei raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it always? What happened?"
For a moment, Qin Lan considered brushing it off, but then she realized how much she needed to talk to someone. To let out everything she'd been holding inside.
"Lu Yan told me about her," Qin Lan said softly, looking down at her glass. "His white moonlight. Song Rui."
Zhang Lei's eyes widened in surprise. "No way. He actually talked about her?"
Qin Lan nodded. "He said he's done holding onto the past, but… it's hard to believe. How do I know he really means it? How do I know I'm not just a replacement for her?"
Zhang Lei frowned, her expression thoughtful. "That's tough. I mean, it's great that he opened up to you, but I get why you'd feel that way. It's not easy to trust someone when they've been holding back like that."
"I just don't know if I can do it," Qin Lan admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I want to believe him, but every time I think about her, I wonder if he's still thinking about her too."
Zhang Lei leaned back in her chair, studying Qin Lan carefully. "Have you asked him? Like, really asked him what he's feeling?"
Qin Lan shook her head. "No. I've been avoiding it. I guess I'm scared of the answer."
Zhang Lei reached across the table, placing a hand on Qin Lan's. "I get it. But if you don't talk to him, you're just going to keep torturing yourself. You deserve to know the truth, one way or another."
Qin Lan knew she was right. But the thought of confronting Lu Yan again, of opening herself up to more pain, made her stomach churn. What if the truth was worse than the lies?
---
When Qin Lan returned home that evening, the house was quiet. Lu Yan wasn't in the living room, and for a moment, she considered going straight to bed, avoiding any confrontation for yet another day. But Zhang Lei's words echoed in her mind: You deserve to know the truth.
With a deep breath, she made her way to Lu Yan's study. The door was slightly ajar, and she could see him sitting at his desk, his back to her as he worked on his laptop. He looked up when she knocked gently on the doorframe.
"Qin Lan," he said, his voice neutral. "Did you have a good time?"
Qin Lan stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "It was nice to get out for a bit." She hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Lu Yan, we need to talk."
He set his laptop aside and turned to face her fully, his expression unreadable. "About what?"
"About us," Qin Lan said, her voice steady. "About where we stand."
Lu Yan's gaze was intense, but he didn't interrupt her.
"I've been thinking a lot about what you told me," Qin Lan began, choosing her words carefully. "About Song Rui. I understand that she was important to you, that she meant a lot. But I need to know—am I just a replacement for her? Or do you see me as someone… real?"
For a long moment, Lu Yan didn't say anything. The silence stretched between them, heavy and thick. Qin Lan could feel her heart pounding in her chest, the tension almost unbearable.
Finally, Lu Yan stood up, walking over to her slowly. When he spoke, his voice was low, but there was a raw honesty in his tone that caught her off guard.
"You're not a replacement, Qin Lan," he said, his eyes locking onto hers. "You've never been a replacement."
Qin Lan felt a surge of emotion rise in her chest, but she wasn't ready to let her guard down just yet. "Then why did it take you so long to tell me about her? Why did you keep her a secret?"
Lu Yan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because I didn't know how to let go. I thought that by not talking about her, by pretending she didn't exist, I could eventually forget. But I was wrong."
Qin Lan's throat tightened. Was that supposed to make her feel better?
"And now?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly. "What about now?"
"Now, I know that holding onto the past is only going to hurt both of us," Lu Yan said softly. "I don't want to keep living like this. I want to move forward—with you."
Qin Lan searched his face for any sign of hesitation, any trace of lingering doubt. But all she saw was sincerity. Could she believe him?
"I don't know if I can just forget about everything that's happened," Qin Lan admitted. "I don't know if I can trust you completely, not yet."
"I'm not asking you to," Lu Yan said, taking a step closer. "I know I have a lot to make up for. But I'm willing to try, if you are."
Qin Lan's heart raced as she stood there, staring up at him. She wanted to believe him, wanted to let herself hope that maybe—just maybe—things could be different. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to take that leap.
"I need time," she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lu Yan nodded, his gaze never leaving hers. "Take all the time you need."
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End of Chapter 14
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