My firstborn came into this world in the midst of war.
On the day I returned from the field after spendinga full year recapturing the Far East region…
"Kyaa!"
An infantile life form, so fragile that it felt like it would break at the lightest touch, looked at me and smiled.
He diligently waved his unbelievably small hands through the air.
"Ah…"
I could confidently say that only those who've had a child would be able to understand how I felt at that moment.
My first child— my flesh and blood.
I would've given him my everything, and even more if I could right then and there, without a single regret.
"Andy, it's your papa. 'Papa.' Try it, Andy, 'Papa.'"
"Kyaa! Kyaa!"
"Oh, dear… Looks like 'papa' is still too difficult for him."
My wife gave me a shy smile.
"It took me exactly 8 months before I heard him say 'mom'... Ahh, now that I think about it, it's such a shame. You should've been there by my side to share my emotions!"
"They say that while saying 'mom' doesn't take long, 'dad' can take some time."
"As if. Doesn't take long, my foot. Though it was just 8 months, it felt like 8 years, you know?"
Just then.
"Papa!"
"...!"
My eyes went as wide as saucers.
My wife's reaction wasn't too different.
"Wh-What did you just say?"
"Kyaa!"
"S-Say that again. You said 'papa' just now, didn't you?"
"Kyaah!" The baby simply giggled in my direction.
"I heard it too!"
My wife's voice, laced with a hint of jealousy, pierced my eardrums.
At that moment, a giant smile spread across my face without me even knowing.
Ahh.
So this is what becoming a father felt like.
My emotions were overflowing.
So lovely.
They say that the joy of raising a kid couldn't be exchanged for anything else in the world.
I felt like I could finally understand the feelings of all the other parents.
However, against my wishes, I had to leave once again. I hadn't even seen my child for long.
The war had not come to an end.
That day, had I known the war would drag on for as long as it did… I would have stayed by your side for longer even if it meant staying up all night for several nights.
I found out later that while I was fighting in the war, my wife had died of illness.
Forget about my wife's funeral; I couldn't even be by my child's side.
For a very long time.
*
*
*
The vast continent of Igrant holds a multitude of scattered countries.
However, until now, not a single one big enough to be called an empire existed.
In the midst of all this, our country succeeded in becoming the only empire on the continent after a long war.
What a glorious day.
"...Damn it."
Five whole years.
I thought today would be the end of this damn life on the battlefield.
But what greeted us when we returned wasn't a warm bed, nor our beloved families.
Sharp arrows grazed my cheek.
The pungent smell of blood stung my nose.
The firmly shut gates of the Imperial Palace were akin to a death sentence.
Perhaps this was an inevitable outcome.
My lowly status as a former slave must have been the problem.
Even though I've accomplished great feats that everyone acknowledged and became one of only four commanders in the empire, that's all it was.
Although they pretended to respect me on the surface, the nobles have always ostracized and despised me.
The excessively courteous words of the knights who seemed to uphold me were laced with constant belittlement behind my back.
The respect and courtesy they showed me were nothing but a pretentious act to maintain their hegemony.
I'm sure they didn't want to accept it.
The fact that they, nobles from birth, and I, originally a slave, were now standing on the same level.
The fact that they had to share those great achievements and glory with someone like me.
"My mana hole's unresponsive. When did I get poisoned?"
My insides churn.
I found myself surrounded by thousands of people.
Fearing something like this might happen, I hadn't even put the food at the banquet on my lips.
To begin with, my body is impervious to ordinary, single-dose poisons.
So how did this situation come to be?
"I hadn't eaten anything since the dinner I had with my subordinates last night…"
In that instant, I felt my body subconsciously stiffen.
This is because the word 'betrayal' had flashed through my mind like lightning.
At that moment, I seemed to lock eyes with a masked figure having a familiar build among the crowd.
"Are you disappointed, Ancelot?"
As the emperor's voice pierced my eardrums, I tried to regain my composure.
"...Why are you doing this to me? I would have done anything you asked of me."
"History repeats itself. If I had to give a reason, it would be jealousy."
"Jealousy…?"
"I am the emperor, as well as the one who achieved the feat of establishing the only empire on the continent. However, the people of the world only chant your name— they call you the god of war, and the god of martial arts."
Does he not care about the aftermath?
If he says such things carelessly, he'll lose the loyalty of his subjects.
But the emperor had already been going mad for some time.
Standing before me now is nothing but an unsightly, crazy old man possessed by jealousy.
The madness felt like it's contagious, and I forcibly awakened my mana.
My gut felt like it was being ripped apart, but whether I die this way or that way, it all comes down to the same thing, anyway.
*
*
*
"...I won't just take it lying down."
"Stop."
As I showed my will to fight through my actions, Western Commander Eisenberg spoke up to dissuade me.
"With your skills, we would also suffer significant casualties. However, do you think we came here to capture the god of war with only that level of preparation?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you resist, we will kill everyone starting from your subordinates and your old parents down to your five-year-old child. Every single person."
My heart sank even deeper.
Getting worked up here means losing.
"...That's some proper bullshit. Even if you try to make me surrender, you have no intentions of letting me live, anyway?"
"Ha."
The emperor, who had been watching the situation unfold, scoffed and then gave a meaningful glance in a specific direction.
The masked man was the one that responded to the signal.
That traitor, who deserved to be ripped to shreds and more, suddenly dragged out a child by the collar and stepped forward.
"Dad!"
"...!"
I hadn't seen him in five whole years.
But I still recognized that child at a glance.
"Andy…?"
"Then let's see you rampage to your heart's content."
Shiver.
My weak heart ate away at my resolve in an instant.
But I quickly shook my head.
This wasn't it.
It's in times like these that you have to become cold-blooded.
'Damn it. Damn it!'
Nevertheless, just a glance at my child, and my body wouldn't bring itself to move.
If my subordinates saw me like this, how despicable would I seem to them?
"Come here and kneel. I promise you. Just you. If you surrender, I'll let your child and even your subordinates go unharmed."
Swoosh!
As soon as my head had gone blank, swords flew in from all directions.
Time passed by moment by moment. Every moment seemed like a tiny fragment of a single second.
I pondered about my choice, but the answer was already decided.
It was unlikely that the emperor would let them live, but my brain refused the order of 'move.'
What father would be able to act recklessly when their child's life was at risk right before his eyes?
Stab, stab, stab, stab!
Swords poured in from all sides, and I let them pierce my body without resistance.
Cough.
In an instant, my body was riddled with holes.
It felt like every drop of blood in my body was spilling out.
If left alone, I knew I would soon die of excessive blood loss.
"What an idiot."
"...!"
Stab!
At that moment, a sword pierced through my child, more precious than anything, and protruded from his stomach.
"D- Da...d?"
"...!"
Collapse!
The emperor had pierced my child's body with his sword.
"Ah...Ahhhh..."
I crawled forward desperately, with my entire body riddled with holes.
"I'm not stupid like you. Isn't it a matter of fact that I should kill the seed that could become the root of trouble in the future?"
"Ahhhh..."
I wanted to cry out with all I had, right then and there.
But my throat wouldn't open.
I wanted to rip them to shreds, right then and there.
But my body wouldn't listen.
Stab stab stab stab stab!
While in that state, countless more swords poured into my back.
Still, I continued to crawl.
For my dying child was reaching for me, hand outstretched.
Like he did on that day he first met me.
My child.
The happiness I felt when you were first born.
The overflowing emotions I felt when you first said, 'papa.' Did you know?
I love you to the ends of the earth.
Even now, I wish to be able to give you nothing but love.
But it seems that's no longer possible.
Someone once said this.
The joy of raising a child isn't something you can feel through anything else.
I regret so much, and still find more to regret.
I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry.
"How pitiful."
Before I knew it, the emperor stood before my unfocused pupils, and he gently placed his foot on my head.
"Someone like him being called the god of martial arts... a joke should at least be funny. What a weak bastard, being swayed by affection."
Press.
At that moment, something in my head snapped.
And then, even while dying, I relentlessly squeezed mana from what is called life force.
This was the end, anyway.
I refused to be a coward who died without being able to fight back at all.
"...!"
The emperor's eyes widened.
It seemed like he doubted that this kind of energy could radiate from a body riddled with holes and taking its last breaths.
That's right.
Countless people that let their guard down like him had lost their heads to me in the war.
Did you think someone like you, a stranger to the battlefield, could kill me that easily?
Stumble.
"Th-This bastard...?"
The emperor took a few steps away from me.
But I wasn't one to just let him.
Slice!
In the face of death, I broke through another wall.
It was only when I'd lost my one and only child that I was able to finally break through the wall that I'd so desperately been trying to overcome.
Soon, an intangible sword was created in the air.
And I sent that sword straight at the emperor's throat.
Thud, roll.
"Puaha! Heh...heh heh heh. Hahahahahaha!"
Due to the overuse of mana, blood spurted out of my mouth like a fountain.
Even so, the laughter didn't stop.
Even though my chest felt so heavy.
Even though my head was preoccupied with denying reality.
"Your hiiiighneeesssss!"
The crown prince, who had been watching, let out a shout and ran towards our direction.
My mania only grew in severity.
Oh, crown prince. Have a taste of the pain of losing your family.
"...!"
However, my eyes widened at that moment.
An expression I would have never noticed if I hadn't been focused on him.
The corner of the prince's mouth, who was running towards us using the knights as shields, was subtly raised.
It was then that I realized.
Not everyone in the world shared the same sentiment as I did about family.
'Was this all part of your plan?'
The situation seemed obvious.
"...Pfft. Ahahahaha!"
Ridiculous.
Truly ridiculous.
Was it because of the grief of losing my child right before my eyes?
Now, what filled my head was a kind of 'madness'.
I laughed and laughed, like a man half out of his mind.
In the moment before death, I had become a raving madman.
But my dear emperor.
My pathetic end, dying mad, is nevertheless better than yours.
Staaaaabbb!
This time, the sword had accurately pierced through my heart.
"...Cough!"
A torrent of blood, unlike anything up until now, flows back up my throat.
But in the midst of it all.
Grab!
"Who are... you?"
With my heart pierced, I glared at the one who had been the last to run a sword through my body.
This is because the one who pointed that sword at me was the very same traitor.
Someone I thought of as much as my own brother.
Someone with whom I thought I shared a bond thicker than blood.
Someone I considered more precious than family.
Who in the world are you?
Splurt! Swoosh!
"...Cough!"
There was no response.
The bastard pulled his sword from my abdomen, then sent it flying towards my neck without a moment's hesitation.
Slice!
At the same time as that unfamiliar sensation, the world tilted completely.