"Bowin, you wanna play outside!" Jack stood at the doorstep, his broad smile and cheerful attitude as radiant as ever. First Bowin had to ask his dad for permission before he eventually slipped on his boots and went to play with his friend.
They met only a couple of months ago when his mother visited her second cousin. Jack was the only other kid around, and the two boys hit it of quickly.
Bowin liked Jack, even for the awkward kid it was easy enough to connect with the boy. He was easy to talk to and always seemed to pull adventure out of dull situations.
It was a sunny day, hot in a way that had you sweating as soon as you went outside. The ball bounced as Jack dribbled around, he turned around quickly as he passed it to Bowin.
Bowin was slow to react when the ball hit his legs and bounced of. "You gotta be faster than that Bowin." Jack ran to retake the ball, "or else we'll never beat Wally and Hank in a match."
"You-" Bowin looked at the ground, a bit ashamed, "you don't have to play with me if you don't wanna, I'll watch from the sidelines." Jack raised a eyebrow, "why would I wanna do that? That won't be as fun." He passed to ball to Bowin again, "Just because your trash doesn't mean I don't wanna play with you." He said with his wide grin again.
That's how Jack was, teasing, nonjudgmental, utter honest. Bowin did like to play soccer with the rest of the boys but it definitely felt as if he couldn't keep up with them, he didn't wanna be a burden.
Soon they would arrive at the soccer field were the other boys would be waiting, they played all day long. From the 17 matches they played, Jack and Bowin only won 5. Before they knew it they were heading back home, "I'm sorry." Bowin said.
"Don't be a wussy dude," Jace responded, it was one of the few times he sounded harsh, "it doesn't matter if we lose I just like playing." His tone was soft again, "plus, if we keep trying we'll win someday." He smiled again.
Dinner, shower, bit of tv and it was time for bed.
The next day Jace didn't come over, of course not. He lived a distance away. During the boring afternoon Bowin went to his garden to find a old ball his father had gifted him. He dismissed it but now it seemed handy. He pumped it up and soon he was kicking it.
He practiced, running from one place to another with the ball between his legs, trying some skill moves, shooting, passing.
Sometimes he would lose the ball, sometimes he would fall trying to do a skill but he always would stand up this is fun.
Once during his practice he caught his father staring at him through the window, it caught him by surprise.
Next day Jack was back, they won 7 of the 15 times. Weeks passed. Jack would be back, they would have matches, it wouldn't always be 2 against 2. Sometimes the matches would be bigger.
Disorganized games were kids would randomly join a team and start playing. The organized games would be much better. They would stop mid game to assign a kid to a team and play.
It was a bit embarrassing for Bowin at first. In his first weeks people would skip over him when picking for teams. Some of the boys that picked teams were his classmates, they knew he was unathletic.
If he did end up on a time it was because of Jack vouching for him, like a pity pick.
But as time went on and Bowin became better at the sport he would get chosen more often. Until he was one of the best. This of course was his persistence to keep practicing at home, and even when Jack wasn't there Bowin would go to that field on his own initiative.
He would rush from his piano practices straight to the soccer field, maybe even sneaking out to play after his chess matches.
For the first time Bowin started moving on his own, his passion grew, he had a fire in his chest, a need to be the best. He would play smiling. A bit of disobedience came from this too, he would stop asking his parents if he could play outside and would just leave. Wrongfully assuming that they wouldn't mind.
Then, they beat Wally and Hank. Once, then twice, then more and more until they couldn't even be beaten.
"Come join our soccer team." A request from Jack, "Our midfield could use someone as technical as you." It wasn't really demanding, just calm and relaxed, "Were about to have summer tryouts."
They walked home after a long day, the sun was setting.
"I would love to." How the idea didn't come to Bowin first surprised him but of course this was the next logical step. "One what days do you play?"
"Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 6 to 9 pm… Saturdays for matches too."
It would be tight, no it would be impossible with his other afterschool activities. He would definitely have to give up on his chesmatches. His piano practice would have to be shuffled. Yes that could work. If his parents would let him.
"No." His father sat behind his desk, a mountain of paperwork on it, on the left side of the room a bookcase and on the right side a wall of pictures that had all of them in it.
It always felt so official in this room, as if every time Bowin would want to spend time with his father it was a business meeting.
He was home rarely so this is how every interaction would go.
Gerald, a stoic man with a thick moustache and thick black glasses was looking over some documents, "I heard from various tutors that you seem distracted, not focused." He never moved his eyes from his paper, "Your grades are starting to slip."
"I can get them up again" Bowin said, "If I just had more time, maybe if I stopped chess, shuffle around piano practice-"
"And what? In its place let you play soccer," he snickered, "maybe that is why you've been so disobedient. Leaving the house without permission, not coming home before dinner. This sport is consuming not only your life but also your mind."
"Father please," Bowin took a careful step forward, "I didn't mean to be like that I can follow the rules. I just want to have fun with my-"
"Fun fun fun, as if that is all what matters. Here is what matters, listening to your parents, keeping your grades up, your prestige. Soccer, such a boorish sport. Like your second cousin Jack" He stood up from his seat, "You know what people like Jack become, outsiders, failures. No son of mine is going to be a failure. You can't join the soccer team"
"But I wanna!" For the first time ever Bowin raised his voice against his father, he saw a fearful glint in his fathers eye "I don't care if I'm a outsider, I don't care if piano practice or prestige. I just wanna have friends and enjoy what I do."
His fathers face became solid in discontent, then his lips curled in a smile, "Let's see if that is true. You can join the team, but if you do all you have, the nice ride to school, your room, your name your everything will be lost. You can go and sleep in the basement for all I care. You'll sacrifice all for that stupid team. Or, you'll quit football forever."
It was then when Bowin lost his vigor of the sport, he told Jack what happened.
"Okay," he sounded reasonable, "I can't ask you to sacrifice everything for a game." Bowin didn't really know where they were, a hazy place, misty but in a way were the air seems distorted. Like it was shaking.
Jack and he were in this place alone, "I'm sorry," Bowin said, he felt as if he was disappointing his friend, Jack schrugged, "I'm not mad or something, if you don't wanna play you don't have to."
"But I do wanna play." Bowin responded, a voice echoed in this space, calling his name. He didn't know how to explain it but the voice was familiar. Jace?
"Then come play with us?" Jack said it so casually, he didn't understand. "But if I do that I'll lose everything, my place, my life. I can't just do that, my parents expect a lot of me."
Jace called his name again and but he didn't know why, where the last saw eachother what happened.
"They say that if I play that I'll have to sleep in the basement." He continued.
"Is that all?" Jack continued, he seemed translucent, just a shimmer in the distance, "Is it that easy for them to control you?"
"Didn't you hear me I'll lose everything." Bowin persisted, a shocking pain in his chest that let him fall to his knees.
"Everything? Like what?" Jack questioned, "you already knew that you lived a life that you didn't care for. Truth is that it wasn't your life to begin with, it's what others wanted for you."
All the memories flooded back to him, how he only did what his parents wanted, then his wife. How he never once did anything for himself and died with regret.
He did the same when Quitney shot him. A cage that he made all those years ago when he allowed his father to intimidate him. The voice, Jace who called him became more silent.
Jack turned around and started walking away, becoming more translucent with every step he took.
Bowin felt the familiar cold hand of death behind him, the pain in his chest becoming dimmer. He could accept it, not have to think at all, he didn't want to.
"Wait!" Bowin called. "Don't leave."
"Are you certain Bowin?" He seemed but a mirage.
"Yes, I want to live my life."
The world became cold, Bowin took a deep breath of cold air. The air bit him as Bowin became conscious.