The next day, I nervously walk into Nikolai's room, knowing he is not at school right now because he doesn't have morning classes today. That is information I have because I need to know which days I need to wake up early to make him breakfast, or stay up late to serve his dinner. I don't find him in his bed but I can hear some noises in the bathroom. I bring his clothes, which are washed, ironed, and folded, and put them in his big walk-in closet. It's so well organized: the suits, dress shirts, am types of shoes, and casual clothes like sweatpants and t-shirts are all in their places. I put everything exactly where it is supposed to be because I don't want to make any mistakes. Then, I start making his bed for him, but as I straighten it, I feel him behind me, pressing his body against mine. "Good morning, Lisa," he whispers in my ear.
I freeze. Where did he come from?
"Good… Good morning, Sir." My voice shows how nervous I am, especially after last night. I can't stop thinking about what happened when he told that ridiculous story about being haunted and then tempted me into committing a sin. I know how tempted I was by him because I spent the entire night rethinking that feeling.
He gently presses his chest against my back, hugs me from behind, and whispers softly in my ear, "I didn't expect you to come in earlier this morning. But I'm not complaining since I can see you this early."
He smiles charmingly and looks at me, waiting for my response. My stomach is filled with butterflies at the sight of his smile, and I stare at this ridiculously gorgeous man who seems too good to be real. Every time I see him, I ask myself if he is real or if I am imagining him. "I… Uhm… I'm just making your bed, Sir." I curse at myself for the stammering.
"That's okay, sweetheart. You can do that, and I can hug you from behind. It's a win-win situation, don't you think?" He gently strokes my hair and plays with it while hugging me with one hand. And his touch burns in a very delicious way.
"You said you wanted to be friends." I whisper those words making sure it doesn't show the emotions because I don't trust myself not to give away how good it feels. And why am I not moving away from his touch?
He raises an eyebrow at my words, a hint of surprise in his expression. "So?" he responds with a playful tone, his hands caressing my sides. He presses himself closer, as if trying to melt into my skin. "We can be friends with a secret."
"A little secret won't hurt, will it?" he whispers in my ear, his breath warm and tantalizing on my skin. "We're just new friends having a bit of fun," he adds with a teasing smile, his fingers tracing a slow path along my spine.
"Sir, please... You're married." I tell that more to myself than him. To remind myself that he is off limits. Even though he is not acting like it.
He chuckles softly and puts his forehead on my shoulder. "Yeah, I'm married, but I don't care about her."
Really, he doesn't? What does that mean?... Wait, no, no... Don't ask. Don't give yourself a reason to drop your clothes for him and beg him to take you.
"You are still married, though. That doesn't change anything."
He whispers in my ear, "Can't I just have some time with the girl I like? Is it a crime to have a bit of fun?"
"But—"
He interrupts me as he continues to hug me from behind, my hands gently caressing my sides. I can feel the tension in my body as I press myself against him, his words a soft whisper. "Mm… You're so nervous, darling. What are you so afraid of?" He chuckles softly, his lips brushing against my ear as he nuzzles my neck. "You're shaking like a leaf…"
He notices so fast, doesn't he? I try to compose myself, as my body is literally betraying me and showing too much. "You are married. Adultery is a sin. Even the commandments say so."
He smiles, finding my concern both endearing and amusing. "Oh, darling, you're so innocent… You're quoting the commandments?" He slowly turns me around, his hands still holding onto my waist. I look into his eyes, his gaze intense and unwavering. "The commandments? Hah, darling… The real sin is resisting temptation."
For a second, I almost believe him, I almost think he is right and I should give into this feeling. For a second, I think he is right. That I shouldn't resist temptation. "No, it isn't, so I am resisting you," I say, not knowing if I even believe that. I am starting to think I am sinning by not giving into the good feeling he is giving me.
He chuckles once more, clearly enjoying the little game we're playing. "Are you, now? Resisting me, are you?" He pulls me closer, his body pressing against mine as he traps me against the bed. "Are you sure about that, darling?"
"Yes, I am," I say quickly before I change my mind, my voice shaky.
He raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "Is that so…" He gently pushes me down onto the bed, straddling my waist as he leans forward, his face hovering just inches above mine. "Then why are you trembling, little love?"
I look up at him, my heart beating out of my chest, my entire body trembling. I look at him straddling on me, and the feeling is making me lose my mind. If he touches me one more time, I don't think I would be able to control myself. So I try to find an escape before that. "Think of what you are doing. If you sleep with another woman, you'll ruin your marriage."
He lets out a sigh, his expression becoming more serious as he looks down at me. "Lisa, darling… do you really think I care about something as insignificant as my marriage?" He runs a hand through my hair, his touch gentle yet firm. "My wife is nothing more than a figurehead, a pawn in a game of political moves and power plays. She doesn't satisfy my needs. Not that I would let her try. She can't give me what I want."
Well, isn't he revealing so much. And he is making this thing sound less adulterous than I think. "But I can?"
He leans down closer, his lips brushing against my ear as he speaks, his voice a low, seductive whisper. "Yes. You can, darling. You can give me what I need."
"I will not commit such a sin. I don't want to go to hell."
I just don't want to be like the woman who ruined my family and my mom's marriage. Yes, my father should have known better, but the woman also knew he was married but still went for him.
He chuckles once more, his smirk widening. "Sin, little love… What is a little sin compared to the sweetness of pleasure? Would you deny yourself the ecstasy of my touch simply because you're afraid of some mythical 'hell'?" He gently caresses my cheek, my fingers tracing a path down my jawline to my neck. "Trust me, darling… You won't regret a moment with me…"
That feeling of his gentle caress on my cheek, his fingers tracing to my neck, it makes my breathing hitches. I feel that little sensation between my legs and I squeeze them together, trying to calm that feeling. "No, no… Please. God will punish me for this."
He sighs, his tone shifting to a more mocking one. "God? You say God? Ha, as if He would even care about such a trivial matter." He presses his body against mine further, his hand continuing to caress my skin. "You're so innocent, darling. So… naive. You think a single moment with me would condemn you to hell? How ridiculous."
His mocking tone doesn't sit right with me, making me feel defensive. "Don't make fun of me; I'm Catholic. Of course, I believe in hell."
He chuckles again, a hint of impatience in his voice. "Of course you do. And you honestly think a single moment with me would make God turn away from you? That He would throw you into the fiery depths simply because you gave in to the desires of your own body?"
He is really making me start having doubts. And how does he know I have desires? I am giving myself away? "Yes," I whisper shakily.
He shakes his head, a mixture of amusement and annoyance in his eyes. "How narrow-minded you are, darling… You're letting the fear of religious dogma dictate everything you do, even your own desires." He leans down closer, his breath hot against my skin. "Tell me, Little Love… Do you really think that a moment of pleasure, a single, brief sin, is enough to damn you to eternal suffering?"
"But the seventh commandment says not to commit adultery. You will be cheating on your wife, and I would be the other woman. So I would also be in that sin." My voice is so small and unsure. I am not as confident with my words and faith as I am hoping to be.
He lets out a sigh, his irritation growing at my persistence. "Yes, yes, the seventh commandment. Do not commit adultery." He rolls his eyes, his hands gripping the sheets on either side of me. "Darling, you're so stuck in the beliefs of your religion that you can't see the bigger picture. You think a single moment of pleasure is enough to damn both of us to hell?"
I look at him above me, watching how his muscles flex when he grabs the sheets and every holy thought escapes my thoughts and I get is unholy ones. I want to touch him, I want to feel him. Wait wait, no... no... "Uhm…"
He leans down even closer, his face just inches from mine. "You're so uptight, darling. You're so concerned about all these moralities and virtues… You're missing out on the true joys of life, the ecstasy of giving in to pleasure." He brushes his lips against my neck, his breath hot on my skin. "Don't you want to know what it feels like to give in to your desires, just once?"
"Galatians 5:16 says, 'But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.' That's what the Bible says."
He scoffs, his voice dripping with mockery. "Yes, the Bible. Full of rules and regulations to keep you from experiencing true ecstasy." He traces a path down my neck with his lips, nibbling softly at my skin. "What does the Bible know about the pleasures of the flesh? Have you ever felt that pure, blissful rush of ecstasy coursing through your veins? Have you ever experienced the intoxicating taste of sin?"
"No." I shake my head. I don't even know why I am answering him, but he is making me not think straight.
He chuckles again, his fingertips tracing gentle patterns on my skin. "Of course you haven't, Lisa. You're too busy worrying about sin and redemption. You're afraid to give in to the desires of your own body." He leans down even further, his lips now resting against my ear. "You're so afraid of damnation, darling, that you've forgotten to live."
Really? I don't know how to live? "I live enough," I whisper.
He raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. He gently pushes me further into the bed, his body pressing against mine once more. "No, Little Love, you simply exist. You're so concerned with being 'good' and 'virtuous' that you don't allow yourself to truly feel alive." He runs a hand up my inner thigh, his touch slow and deliberate. "Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to feel truly alive? To let go of your inhibitions and embrace your desires?"
"I… I… I am alive. Aren't I?"
He laughs softly, his voice laced with amusement. "Physically? Perhaps. But darling, there's so much more to life than merely existing." He trails a path of kisses down my neck, his lips leaving a trail of heat on my skin. "You're so focused on being good, on following the rules of your religion, that you're missing out on the true pleasures of life. You're missing out on the ecstasy of sin."
Why must he make it sound so alluring? "I don't want to be the other woman." That comes out more defensive than intended, and I end up sounding like I am upset about that.
He sighs once more, frustration evident in his eyes. "Oh, darling… You're so stuck on these moralities. So concerned about being 'the other woman' that you're missing the point entirely." He presses his body against mine, his voice growing more intense. "You're afraid to give in to your own desires. You're afraid to experience pleasure. It's such a shame, really… Because I could show you such ecstasy."
I need to fight this feeling. This good, good feeling. "Please, sir. Just let me make your bed."
He lets out a huff, a mix of annoyance and amusement in his voice. "Oh, darling… Still stubborn, I see." He sighs, rolling his eyes and getting off of me reluctantly. "Fine, fine. If it will stop you from protesting, then make my bed. But I do hope you know what you're missing out on." He chuckles softly, amused by my insistence. "Little Love." He releases me from his embrace, gets up, giving me the space to make the bed. He steps away and smiles. "Alright~ I will only look at you as you make my bed. I will behave, I promise." He winks at me.
I look at him suspiciously as I stand up which makes him raise his hands in surrender. "Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything~ I'm just… enjoying the view."
I decide not to say anything about his comment and go back to my work. Although those words did make me feel very self-conscious. However, as I move to do so, he can't seem to resist teasing me further. He stands behind me, his gaze lingering on my form. He lets out a low chuckle before giving my hips a gentle squeeze. "You know, I can't help but admire your beauty," he murmurs tantalizingly, his voice filled with desire.
I bite my lip quickly because I almost let out a moan. Out of desperation of him just not letting me fight against this walking temptation called Nikolai Romanov, I snap at him. "Can you please not stand behind me like that while I'm bending over… Sir?" I add that 'sir' to cover the tone I used.
"Hmm~? That's no fun then." He smiles innocently and keeps staring at her as I make his bed. "Why can't I? I'm not doing anything. I just want a good view."
He absolutely acts like he has no idea he is annoying me.
"Just don't stand so close," I say through gritted teeth.
He raises an eyebrow at my words, a smirk playing on his lips. "Why, Little Love?" he murmurs teasingly, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around my waist once more. "Is it making you feel… uneasy? Or does it make you feel flustered?" he asks, his voice filled with a hint of mischief as he whispers in my ear. He presses himself against me, his slender form molding perfectly to my contours. He chuckles softly and gently cups my face. "Aw, sweetie. That's adorable. You know, you should watch what you say at a time like this. You want to be my friend, right?" I feel his hand move my hair away to expose my neck.
"But friends don't—" I end up gasping when I feel his lips on my neck. He whispers softly,
"But we are friends—good friends," he says to me with a seductive tone. He gently presses his lips to the side of my neck and slowly trails soft kisses. "A friend with a sweet secret."
He smiles gently and continues to trail soft kisses to my jawline, gently stroking my waist. He presses his lips to my neck, his touch soft and gentle. He trails soft, tantalizing kisses along my skin, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down my spine. "We're just friends, love," he whispers in my ear, his voice filled with desire. "And I want our friendship to be bonded with a little secret only you and I know." He adds, his fingers caressing my chin affectionately. His words take me by surprise making me turn to look him in the eye.
"What secret, sir?"
ʚ ͜ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ୨ ♡ ୧ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ͜ ɞ
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