"Wow, that's impressive."
Hu Tao shaded her eyes with her hand, watching as the coffins disappeared one by one from sight.
"Sanqiu, I didn't expect your family's ancestral techniques to have such interesting uses. I'm impressed~" She glanced at Gu Sanqiu, who was sweating slightly. "A lot of those coffins are empty, aren't you worried they'll open them up and check?"
"Have you ever heard of blind boxes?" Gu Sanqiu responded cryptically. "Until you open it, you have no idea what's inside. It's a hugely profitable tactic in certain industries."
"There was once a very blunt businessman who said blind boxes are designed to harvest 'ideal customers,' but these customers willingly allow themselves to be harvested for the chance of getting something special."
"Do they know that most of the coffins are empty?"
"Do they dare to check?"
"Even if someone is incredibly lucky and opens a coffin only to find nothing inside, do you think they'd dare tell their allies there's nothing in it? Would they risk that kind of trust?"
Hu Tao shook her head immediately. "No way, that's impossible. I'd even start suspecting they'd joined forces with my enemies to pull one over on me."
"You see? Even you can understand the underlying complexities. The safest move for them would be to come to me at the Gu estate and ask me to take care of those coffins."
Gu Sanqiu explained slowly, "That's the safest option for them. Of course, if their family has a particularly powerful cultivator, they could handle the undead themselves.
"But if they choose that route, the weaker families would feel unfairly treated. Why should they be the ones to back down while someone else can just get rid of the problem?"
Gu Sanqiu smirked. "The convenience of their alliance is also their biggest burden."
"They have no choice but to follow the path I've laid out for them."
"Even if they make a wrong step, they'll only have to pay an even higher price, one that will hurt them more."
(▼へ▼メ)
Hu Tao's expression turned fierce. She placed one hand on Gu Sanqiu's shoulder, while gripping the end of her Staff of Homa with the other, pressing it against his waist.
"You scoundrel, Sanqiu, explain what you meant by 'you already know all this.' Are you saying I'm not smart enough?"
"Uh, well, based on the conversation so far, there's only you and me here as living beings capable of reasoning. Since I'm talking about the situation, the comparison naturally falls to you."
Gu Sanqiu raised his hands in mock surrender. "I promise, I didn't mean to insult your intelligence in the slightest."
"After all, the great Director Hu Tao of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is both wise and beautiful, a character full of charm. With her vast knowledge and grace, how could she possibly be bothered by a rough fellow like me?"
o(´^｀)o
"Hmph, your answer's passable. I'll let you off the hook this time."
With a soft snort, Hu Tao dispersed her Staff of Homa into golden light.
"If you want them to come to the Gu estate, why are you just sitting here?"
"Exactly because I'm sitting here," Gu Sanqiu replied. "They may not have much power themselves, but they've got numbers on their side. I'm sure someone's already camped outside my estate, and they've probably found the message I left."
"Besides, making them go on a wild goose chase is just a small part of their punishment."
Gu Sanqiu cast a glance down the mountain. "Look, they're coming now."
Down below, a few noblemen dressed in lavish clothes, supported by their servants, were panting as they trudged up the mountain.
"Damn brat! Why did he have to pick such a difficult place?"
"He's an Incense-Bearer. A hike like this is probably nothing for him."
His companion muttered sourly, but a chill ran through his heart.
By now, anyone with half a brain should have realized that Gu Sanqiu hadn't set foot in Liyue Harbor since returning. The letter at his doorstep had drifted down from the sky.
So how exactly did those coffins end up at their homes from the outskirts?
If he could transport something as large as a coffin, what about people? Or worse, what about some kind of high-powered weapon?
Like the explosive barrels used by the monsters outside the city, for instance?
The group exchanged uneasy glances, realizing Gu Sanqiu was subtly warning them: their lives could be taken at any time, without mercy.
The second message was even more sinister—it was meant to sow division. He wanted to drive a wedge between the "smart ones" and the "fools," causing internal strife within their alliance. This would weaken them, giving Gu Sanqiu the upper hand in future negotiations.
This generation's Incense-Bearer… While his schemes were relatively simple, it was impressive how quickly he found the most effective approach. Not someone to be underestimated!
"You should go, Hu Tao. This is between them and me. It's not great to have the Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor standing around here."
"No way! The great Director Hu Tao isn't afraid of trouble. Let them come! I'd love to see them try to refuse Wangsheng Parlor's services after they're dead."
Gu Sanqiu remained calm. "What if they opt for cremation, or worse, what if they end up without even a proper burial? You might need to introduce a new 'empty grave' service just to stay relevant."
(✪ω✪)!!
"Sanqiu, you're a genius! Why didn't I think of that?"
Hu Tao ruffled Gu Sanqiu's hair gleefully. "I'll leave this to you, then. I've got to figure out how to make that new service work!"
"Wait…"
Before Gu Sanqiu could say more, Hu Tao transformed into a swirl of golden butterflies and disappeared.
(⊙_⊙)
"Lord Zhongli, the Qixing, Sister Lan, you're all going to have a headache soon."
Gu Sanqiu clasped his hands together in mock prayer. "But seriously, it's not my fault. It's really got nothing to do with me!"
"Master Gu, we've arrived."
The more level-headed nobles stepped forward first, choosing to be the first to bow respectfully to Gu Sanqiu.
"We admit defeat, Master Gu. Please, withdraw your magic. If compensation is needed, we will do our best to meet your demands."
Their bitter smiles said it all—submitting to Gu Sanqiu was the last thing they wanted. But the coffins were already there, their guards and servants were fully aware of the situation, and the loss of trust and reputation was inevitable.
At this point, their priority was damage control, not gaining any benefits.
[・_・?]
Gu Sanqiu was genuinely surprised. "Eh? You're not here to threaten me?"
How disappointing.
That was his honest thought.
"Master Gu, your methods are far superior to ours, but we're not fools. Making threats now would be meaningless. We came together as a gesture of sincerity."
The family heads chuckled bitterly. "Since it's come to this, we only ask that you show some mercy. Name your terms, and as long as they're reasonable, we'll comply."
"Please, show us mercy."
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