Gu Sanqiu mercilessly poked Hu Tao's forehead with his finger.
"If you used that weird method to send a message to my house in the middle of the night just to make me your delivery boy, I swear, you're going to regret it."
"Heh heh, well, I am hungry," Hu Tao grinned mischievously from her seat on the ground and held her arms out toward him. "I'm starving, Sanqiu, help me up so I can eat."
"Tsk."
Gu Sanqiu shot her a look of disdain, but still reached out, gently pulling her to her feet before taking out two plates of exquisitely prepared almond tofu.
"These are from Wangshu Inn. Eat something to fill your stomach, and tell me what's going on in Wuwang Hill."
He twitched his mouth slightly. "The family records mentioned that blowing on those blue soul flames should only make them follow you for a bit."
"I tried it just now, and the next thing I know, a whole horde of soul flames was chasing me. If you tell me nothing's wrong here, I'm not buying it."
"Heh heh, Sanqiu, you're too bold. You knew something might be wrong in Wuwang Hill, yet you still went ahead and tested it. I'm truly impressed," Hu Tao clasped her hands together and mockingly bowed to him before quickly explaining the reason they were at Wuwang Hill.
After leaving the confinement room, Hu Tao had received a report from Wuwang Hill.
Apparently, several red lights had been spotted, and beneath them, there were creepy, slow-moving corpses, surrounded by the remains of animals. The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor staff stationed in Wuwang Hill confirmed the report and immediately informed Hu Tao to handle the situation.
"So, it's not just about avoiding my bill?"
And what was going on with Wuwang Hill? Was this some kind of real-life version of Resident Evil? Were there low-budget versions of Qiqi walking around?
Well, technically, Qiqi shouldn't be classified as that type of thing.
Gu Sanqiu's expression turned serious. If he hadn't stopped himself, he might have told Hu Tao the best way to deal with these creatures was to aim for the head.
Wuwang Hill was a boundary between the living and the dead, and soul flames, mass graves, and paranormal events were its usual fare.
But corpses attacking people… Gu Sanqiu frowned, trying to remember. This wasn't unheard of in Liyue's history.
Damn, wasn't this kind of thing supposed to date back to the Archon War?
"So, you're asking me to exorcise demons and banish spirits?"
Gu Sanqiu pointed at himself. "Look closely—I'm just a small incense bearer. I may not be entirely helpless, but I'm not exactly equipped for combat."
"Pfft, big liar."
Hu Tao stuck out her tongue at him. "You might fool others, but you can't fool me!"
"If you really weren't capable, show me that trick you used to get the Golden Shrimp Balls again?"
"Even my guest minister said you're not weak."
"Ever heard of Zhongli from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor? Knows everything from the heavens to the earth. He's the parlor's prized intellectual—and a huge asset in our side hustle... uh, I mean cultural endeavors."
Hu Tao stood proudly, hands on her hips, chest puffed out in triumph.
"Well? Do you have any more excuses? There's no judge here, so I'll let you say a few more words if you like."
When Gu Sanqiu didn't respond, Hu Tao tilted her head curiously.
"Eh? Sanqiu, why are you sweating so much? Are you okay?"
(;OдO)
Oh no.
That was Gu Sanqiu's first reaction. When did Zhongli start watching me? He really hadn't noticed.
From another perspective, if a god was watching you, how could you, a mere mortal, possibly know?
If his two souls hadn't merged yet, wouldn't Zhongli have already seen right through him?
Was there really a supernatural event happening in Wuwang Hill, or was this all part of some elaborate setup?
Or maybe some all-powerful entity was already observing him, with twenty or so targeting systems ready to zero in on his head…
"So, what else did this 'Zhongli' say?"
Hu Tao's face brightened with sudden realization. "Ohhh, you're scared of him, huh? Don't worry! Even if he's probably some immortal wandering among mortals, he's still our guest minister."
…Does this cheeky little brat even know that Zhongli is that lord?
(´･ω･)ﾉ(._.`)
Hu Tao cheerfully patted Gu Sanqiu's head. "It's fine, I'll introduce you two one day. Zhongli's a really nice guy."
It's not about whether he's nice or not…
Gu Sanqiu closed his eyes briefly before looking at her with renewed determination. "Alright, tell me what happened. Since it's your request, I'll do my best."
He figured it was best to give a confident answer, especially if it helped him get rid of any mysterious targeting on his head.
"Heh heh, I knew you were a good guy, Sanqiu!"
Hu Tao excitedly patted his shoulder. "So, did you bring my weapon?"
"Hah, so I'm really just a delivery guy."
Gu Sanqiu chuckled, shaking his right hand slightly. Mysterious golden light appeared and formed into a long staff with black and red accents.
"I coated it with a protective layer made from powdered fangs of the Millennium Thunder Shark. It'll add lightning damage to your attacks, and the maintenance should last you one or two years."
Gu Sanqiu hesitated for a moment. "By the way, not to nag, but while I was working on it, I found something strange. You should probably use that move of yours sparingly."
Hu Tao blinked in surprise, then snatched the weapon, puffing her cheeks in suspicion, like a hamster guarding its stash.
"Hey, maintaining the Staff of Homa is your family's promise to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Why'd you add extra upgrades?"
Hu Tao eyed him cautiously. "And, uh, you're not going to charge me for it, right?"
"Millennium Thunder Shark powder? That sounds expensive. If I sold the whole funeral parlor, it probably wouldn't cover the cost!"
"Don't worry, that was from my own supply. I won't charge you."
…
As reckless as it was, Gu Sanqiu couldn't help but think, If you sell Zhongli to me, maybe that could settle the debt.
"Caw—"
A sharp cry jolted both of them. The Great Shadow Eagle in the sky had issued a warning—something unusual was approaching!
"Wait, wait, that's your personal stash? You, someone who barely leaves Liyue Harbor, have something this valuable?"
Hu Tao gripped the Staff of Homa tightly, and faint red butterflies began fluttering around her.
"Yeah, it's a bit hard to explain the source, but it's definitely mine."
Item: Thunder Shark Fangs
Origin: The Sea of Thunder Pools
Note: One of the dominant species beneath the Eternal Thunder Pool. The powdered fangs are a top-tier crafting material, but few have ever extracted them directly from the sharks.
This was one of the best materials Gu Sanqiu had ever acquired. He'd even secretly coated his kitchen knife with a thin layer of it once, only for the food he cut to electrocute him.
Had he not forgotten to light the stove that day, his kitchen might have experienced an overload reaction.
In the distance, red lights began flickering. Gu Sanqiu whistled, and the Great Shadow Eagle descended but remained in the air instead of returning to his shoulder.
Having an aerial advantage was crucial, and Gu Sanqiu wasn't foolish enough to ground his bird.
The lower altitude would allow the eagle to react faster to any threats and give him and Hu Tao more time to respond.
"By the way, if a fight breaks out, remember to aim for the head."
Gu Sanqiu pulled out his Demon-Slaying Revolver, his expression growing cold.
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If you spot any mistakes let me know so I can fix them.
Read up to Chapter 30! [P@treon.com/WiseTL]