Have you ever wondered what will happen if Amara agreed to marry her stepsister's ex-fiancé?
Flashes of lights and countless of questions have been spreading around me like pollution coming from all of the mobile sources in the city. Lifting my gaze would be a bad idea for I will probably get blinded by the cameras that are pointed at me, while my ears are throbbing with irritation from the reporters that has been asking the same question over and over again. Despite the chaos that I am currently withstanding, the only thing that my head dwells on is the criticism and dissapointment that I will receive from my father. I should have listened to his advice, but it's too late, now that I have dragged my image down along with my family for valuing friendship more than the reputation that my kin holds onto.
"Since when did you and your friends started selling drugs, Ms. Montgomery?"
"Did your circle came up with this illegal idea?
"Are you also a drug dealer, a user, or both?"
We were at Alistair's club earlier when several law enforcement officers invaded his property and took a large amount of drugs out of his office. The inquiries of the reporters kept bugging my mind and finding out that one of my friends have been selling illegal substance in the club that he established still feels surreal. I know that Alistair is a jerk, but I didn't know that he was both a dealer and a user, or worse maybe their family runs an illegal drug trade. Does our friends have an idea about all of these? Or are they as clueless as me? My anxiety became worse when we arrived in front of the building that my family owns. As soon as I step inside my father's domain, a loud sound of his hands against my cheek echoed in the four walls of his office.
"You are such a great source of embarassment, Amara!" He yelled.
"I—I am sorry, Dad." Tears started falling down on my face making me wince from the sting that I felt from my burning cheeks. Finally, the lump that was forming inside my throat came out as I cry, after realizing the damage that I gave to our family. "I swear, I am not involve with their distribution and intakes. I was just spending my time with them whenever I visit Alistair's club. Dad, please, forgive me."
"I told you to keep your distance between those low lives! Now, look at what your ill-manners did! You are nothing compared to your sister, Amara! I wish you were never born!" He has a point, compared to her first daughter, I am nothing but a mistake created from infidelity between a married man and a desperate woman. But, I believe my birth is something that I am not responsible of.
"If you didn't have an affair with a whore, then all of these will not gonna happen! But, being born is not my fault! You are the one to blame for not being faithful to your wife!" He slapped me once again making me fall to his table. "Truth hurts, doesn't it?" I said, with a wide grin on my lips.
"You're fucked up! It's time you learned a lesson." His voice cut through me like a knife. "I'm not letting a devil live under my roof. You'll either pack your things and go live with your grandmother, or you'll marry Basil." My eyes grew big and my jaw drops, he knew I wasn't on good terms with that bitter crone—living with her would be like burying myself six feet under the ground. And Basil? His daughter's ex-fiancé? Is he mad?
That old woman hated me more than the lady who gave birth to me. Thinking back when I was a child, she would always put the blame on me whenever my older sister gets in trouble. My traumatic experiences began in her palms, that is why I chose to live in the city, rather than the rural area even though I am devoted to the smell of the nature, for she made my childhood a living hell. They never punished my sister the way they did to me. From her hair down to her toes, they never failed to take care of them. I encountered every hardships in that house since I was a child-no freedom and no hope. That explains why I became rebellious ever since I reached adulthood, because I have the freedom now and I get to have what I want for they always provide money except for the affection that I was deprived from having my whole life.
Then there was Basil, my stepsister's ex-fiancé. I met him when I turned eighteen years old while he was twenty-eight. Ever since I became legal when in terms of age, my father was already planning to marry me off with that no fun man to prohibit his first child from running after a relationship that will lead to the downfall of their fame. I admit that he looks so damn good, but looks can be deceiving, his face and body is far more better than his attitude. Apart from that, I saw him making out with my sister at the garden after having a talk with my father regarding our marriage. I know that they love each other, but it is unacceptable to get married with your uncle since Basil is my stepmother's cousin, which is the reason why they wanted me to marry Hawthrone, to stop my sister and her uncle from committing such prohibited bond.
"From that old sour woman to the man who is eight years older than me? Are you insane, Dad!? Why do you keep forcing me every year to marry that serious and cold man? And may I remind you that he is Tatiana's ex-fiancé?"
"I don't care. Save your saliva. You've disgraced this family, and now you'll pay the price." His statement stung worse than his slap.
If I had to face the future with ties around my ankles, I would prefer that they be the chains I could benefit from. Both paths felt like punishments, and perhaps that's exactly what father wanted it to be. The options twisted in my mind like a spinning carousel—Basil's haunted past or my grandmother's cold, judgmental home. The weight of the choices I was given was pressing down on my chest. If I had to choose between being entangled or being suffocated, I'd wed Basil. At least I could gain independence by marrying a man who doesn't feel anything about me than living under the oppressive control of a grandmother who openly hated me.
"Do you even love me?" I asked, wiping my tears away. "Do you even treat me as your daughter, the way you love my sister? This family makes everything hard for me as if I don't have a blood running on my system from your kinship." Then I left without waiting for his response.
As much as I wanted to feel nothing, I can't. I am just a human with emotions, who's eager to experience warmth and tenderness from her family. I can have whatever I want, I can buy whatever I need, but being invisible to my own family is something that I don't deserve having. I wonder if my mother was still alive, will she love me more than I love myself? What does she look like? Is she kind? Or is she as ruthless as my stepmother? Does father love her? My thoughts have been tormenting me ever since I started having consciousness. All I dream of is building a family where everyone feels appreciated and loved.
From the rooftop of our building, I looked down the road. Will they cry in front of my coffin, regretting what they made me feel when I was still breathing? No one can blame me for who I am now, my actions are the consequence of my parents' negligence. With the help of my palms and feet, I was able to stand on the barrier that prevents people from falling off the edge. I closed my eyes and opened my hands widely to feel the embrace of the air. How I wish someone could hug me with a comforting sensation of these soft and gentle wind of the night.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing!?" A man with a deep, resonant voice shouted behind me making me tremble in fear when I almost fell off the small wall because of nervousness.
I was about to go down when I felt a large and firm hands holding my hips and placing me on the safe side. I held my chest that was beating fast from that intense moment, this proves that I am not yet ready to go into the silent land. In a quick movement, I turned to face my back annoyed by the individual who almost got involved in my death, and then I saw the man that I am going to be tied with, Basil Augustus Hawthrone.
"What are you doing here?" I asked,
countless of people, why did it have to be him?
There was a hint of something I can't comprehend in his face when I met his gaze. In a sarcastic tone, he responded, "I thought it was obvious. Your father was quite insistent that I be here… to ensure everything is in order for our grand arrangement." His resentment, which reflected mine, lingered in his words. "You know, Amara, you could still refuse. I'm sure your father would understand if you turned down the offer. It's not like he could actually force you." He continued.
"You don't know him like I do, Basil. Refusing isn't an option anymore." My expression hardened as we locked eyes, but I couldn't take it anymore, "This is all your fault!" I started throwing a fist on his chest continously until I began weeping. "If only your blood were not related to them, then this marriage will not happen! You can do something right? Back off from this arrangement, I am begging you! Please..." I said as I cry.
I flinched when he held my hand and locked me in his chest. His bold notes of leather and sandalwood perfume that screams power and confidence enveloped me. Even though I feel disgusted and annoyed by his presence, a hug is all that I need as of the moment, and he was the only one who gave me that.
"This isn't what I wanted either, Amara," He answered. "If I could change any of this, believe me, I would. But our family—" I can feel that he is feeling as hopless as I am when I heard that my father will push through with this marriage. "They left us with no way out."
"But, what about Tatiana?" I asked, but he didn't say a word.
I know that he loves her, they both love each other. Even though them being together is impossible, and me being the obstruction to their bond will be a big mess and full of suffering. My sister already hated me since the day I was born, and I expect worse once this marriage happens. Ever since we were a child, they are already close to each other while I am a complete outcast. We are not aware that my stepmother and Basil are related to one another, until they dig into the history of their family to find their missing grandfather that happened when they are already five years into their relationship planning to get married, only to figure out that Basil was Tatiana's uncle and my stepmother's fifth cousin. Both of them are devastated, while I was there envying the affection they have for each other. I don't know what will happen with this marriage, once I became a Hawthrone will I experience the same love that they had? Or is this just going to be worse than being cousins with the one you thought will going to be your spouse.
"Whatever Tatiana and I had… it's in the past now." He said, letting me free from his grip and lending me a napkin to dry the wetness dripping from my eyes down to my neck. "Let's go, your father asked me to send you home."
If I were being delusional, I will think of his gestures as means of expressing his love, but in reality, it is not. I am aware of the fact that these are all just an act or a command given by my father and sending me home is his way of catching a glimpse on my sister who is always at home by her windows waiting for her superhero to save her from despair. Tatiana hasn't gone to her work ever since they broke up, she's always inside her room bawling her eyes out, begging her mom and dad to bring Basil back to her arms. I never felt like she was my sister, she always lose her temper whenever I am around her and most of the time she just ignores me like I'm just some figurine inside our house. Once she found out the engagement that was planned for Basil and I, she will surely have another reason to loathe me.
"Leave me alone." I was about to exit the place when he grabbed me by my forearm and lead the way out. "Get off my hand!" I shouted, making the employees turn their heads on our direction. I don't care about what's coming inside of their head, all I think about is escaping from these foolishness.
"I hate it when my fiancée acts wild, get a hold of your self, Amara. Don't embarass yourself in your father's realm, you're not in the animal planet." He whispered on my ears.
The blood on my head started boiling in aggravation, I am not sure if I will survive my life with this man. How can Tatiana endure such a pain in the ass? I was about to bite his hands away from mine when father saw us.
"Good evening, Mr. Montgomery." Basil greeted.
"It's nice to see you two getting along already, both of you are a delightful pair," He smiled widely glancing at our hands, as if I wasn't in trouble earlier. "Take care of her, Basil. I still have something to finish. Amara, tell your mother that I will be home late." I nod then he left with his assistant.
We continued walking out of the building and he still doesn't want to let go of my hands, his grip was firm and heavy making it hard for me to escape. I feel ashamed whenever we encounter my father's employee, they will greet us while side-eyeing the hold of Basil on mine as if they have seen something unbelievable because all of them knew the relationship he had with my sister.
"I can go home by myself, besides our driver is here." We are already outside of the building and people just wouldn't stop looking at us, as if they've seen something worth to talk about in their social media accounts. Basil's popularity is insane, and having him beside me will surely flood the internet with dating rumors.
"Will's gonna drive your father home, let's go." I don't have a choice now, if I will argue with him, gossips about me will probably became so much worse than the issue that has been circling about my friend being a drug dealer and addict. He opened the door of his Temerario for me and closed it once I am settled inside. Throughout the trip, both of us are silent and awkward. He must've been guilty by letting another woman sit on his first love's place. Being around him is suffocating, as if my sister is choking me, preventing me to breathe the same air that her beloved was living.
"Just drop me by the gate." But, he didn't listened. Instead, he drove me in till we reach the main entrance of the house. This man is out of his mind, does he even care about Tatiana's feelings? He went out and opened his door for me. "Thank you." I said walking pass him.
"Goodnight, Amara." I was unable to move for a second then I felt heavy when I saw my sister standing inside her room confused of what is going on between me and her lover. I looked back at Basil whose eyes are fixed on mine and it sent shivers down my spine making the little hairs across my body to stand on their own