Five minutes later...
"Where... am I?"
Su Xiaobai groaned, flat on the ground, feeling like he'd been trampled by a herd of beasts. "Did I die again?" His head spun, the world shaking around him like a drunk at a tavern.
"Master!"
"!!"
Su Xiaobai's eyes snapped open, greeted by Xiao Lu's beautiful flushed face far too close to his. Startled, she quickly pulled back, though her breath was still hot on his face. He sat up, moving like a rusty puppet.
"What... happened?" he muttered, glancing around as his brain tried to reboot.
Xiao Lu's expression was a mix of worry and concern. "Master, you fainted from shock. A thunderbolt struck you on the head!"
"What?!"
Su Xiaobai blinked, his hair a wild mess and his face blackened with soot. Xiao Lu leaned in, wiping his cheeks with her sleeve, barely holding back a smile.
"Where did that thunder even come from?" she muttered, eyes wide with disbelief.
His ears were still ringing, but his gaze drifted toward the real prize—Fairy Lianhua's body, lying bare and enticing before him. Her exposed breasts weren't just peaks—they were heavenly pillows, plump and perfect, the kind that immortals would fight wars over. Her legs, still spread from earlier, made him forget everything else.
Just as I was about to...
Suddenly, a bitter grin crept across his face. "Haha... it's a test! Yeah, the heavens are testing me!" He forced out a snort, trying to sound confident. But deep down, he knew the truth.
The higher-ups were screwing with him again!
Still, he wasn't about to give up. Not with power lying helpless in front of him. For returning back to my cheap family... I'll do anything.
"Master?" Xiao Lu's voice came again, more puzzled than concerned, as she watched him stagger back toward Feng Lianhua's body.
Su Xiaobai's face hardened with twisted determination. 'To hell with the higher-ups! I'm Su Xiaobai, the great villain! You can't mess with me every time I try something! I'm not your puppet!'
His expression melted into pure, unfiltered perversion. Kneeling beside Feng Lianhua, his hands began mimicking a squeezing motion, eyes gleaming with devilish intent.
"Hehehe~... this time, no one's gonna stop me..."
Without shame, he spread her thighs wide, his breathing heavy like a dog in heat. His fingers hovered over the small cloth, trembling with anticipation.
"Heavens? Pfft!" His hand crept closer, his fingers twitching, ready to uncover what he was now thinking of as the Forbidden Garden of Pleasures.
"Master, wait—!" Xiao Lu's voice rang out, but Su Xiaobai was already too far gone. His mind filled with visions of "heavenly treasures," his wicked grin stretching from ear to ear.
Just as his fingers brushed the edge of the forbidden cloth—
Rumble... Rumble...
KABOOM!
Another bolt of thunder slammed down from the heavens, lighting up the entire area.
"Ahhhhh—!" Su Xiaobai's entire body jerked violently, his voice shaking as he cried, "W-w-w-what-t-t th-th-the-e f-f-f-uck-k?!"
His limbs spasmed, his mouth trembling as the electricity surged through him. His whole body shook like a puppet gone mad, he managed to sputter out, "W-why-y-y m-m-meeee?!"
Smoke rose from his charred clothes as he collapsed in a heap, twitching on the ground like a fried fish. Xiao Lu blinked, completely deadpan.
"Master... you're really determined to piss off the heavens, huh?" She sighed and crouched beside him, poking his crispy body with the tip of her finger.
____
Third Try!
Five minutes later...
"Not again!" Su Xiaobai groaned, his body twitching as smoke drifted from his clothes. He struggled to sit up, brushing off the ash clinging to his robes.
Xiao Lu raised an eyebrow. "Master, are you really going to—?"
"Of course I am!" Su Xiaobai sneered, wobbling to his feet. "They won't stop me from becoming strong!"
Without waiting for a reply, he staggered back to Feng Lianhua, eyes gleaming with twisted excitement. "This time... no one's stopping me!" He reached for her thighs once again, his fingers trembling with anticipation—
KABOOM!
Another bolt of thunder blasted him, sending him into a spasming heap on the ground.
"Ahhhh—" Su Xiaobai's voice vibrated as he screeched, "F-f-f-u-u-u-c-c-k....!"
____
Fifth Try!
Five minutes later...
"Argh, again?!" Su Xiaobai muttered, still smoking as he sat up. He groaned, brushing off the soot, eyes filled with crazed determination.
"Master... please don't." Xiao Lu stared at him, disbelief painted across her face.
But Su Xiaobai was already up. "They can strike me as much as they want, but this time I'll succeed!"
Without hesitation, he knelt beside Feng Lianhua once more, hands twitching eagerly as he reached for the cloth—
KABOOM!
"AHHHHH—" Su Xiaobai's entire body convulsed as he screamed, "F-F-FUCK YOUUUUU H-HIGHER-UPSSSS!"
And just like that, his body fell into another twitching heap for the fifth time, electrocuted once again.
____
BAM! Bam! BAM!
"Master?... You're not going to try again?"
After eight tries, Su Xiaobai sat under the shade of a tree, his back facing Xiao Lu, looking rather dejected. The silverwolf cub darted around him playfully, not even trying to return to its parent.
Xiao Lu, standing nearby, was truly worried. 'Has he finally given up after such a huge setback?' she thought. But before she could dwell on it, she heard a strange noise.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Curious, Xiao Lu peeked around the tree. There, her eyes widened in shock. Su Xiaobai, hunched over a bowl, was furiously banging an iron rod into it.
"Master?" she whispered in disbelief. 'What is he doing now?'
Su Xiaobai sighed heavily, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "It's done…"
Xiao Lu blinked, confused. "Done?" She watched him stand up, looking like a beggar with his torn robes and singed hair. He marched back toward Feng Lianhua's body with newfound purpose.
Her heart skipped a beat. 'He's going back?! After all that thunder?!'
"Master, please! I'll find you a better woman! More beautiful, more powerful!" Xiao Lu sighed in exasperation, watching him crouch next to Feng Lianhua again.
But as she rushed over to stop him, she noticed something different. This time, Su Xiaobai's eyes weren't filled with perverted intent. They were calm, focused, and—dare she say—wise?
"Huh?"
Instead of reaching for her body like before, Su Xiaobai carefully applied the herbal paste he had ground, spreading it over the wound on Feng Lianhua's abdomen with precision. His hands were steady, and he even covered her exposed skin with a spare cloth.
Xiao Lu stared, mouth agape. "What… is this?"
Su Xiaobai let out a deep breath, his tone surprisingly composed. "Just healing her... I've come to a realization, Xiao Lu. We shouldn't take advantage of someone else's misfortune. She's just a beautiful woman in need of help. What if some scoundrel with ill intentions spots her and tries to take advantage of her vulnerability?"
Xiao Lu blinked, utterly baffled. 'Is this the same man who, minutes ago, was trying to steal her virgin essence at all costs?'
"Master… are you feeling alright?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.
Su Xiaobai nodded grimly, standing up with a newfound seriousness. "Yes, Xiao Lu, I've seen the light. This woman is innocent. It was that Young Master Li who tried to kill us, all of his own selfish design. This woman is definitely a good person… We can't judge people by their faces!"
Xiao Lu stared, her jaw practically dropping. "Master… You were literally—"
He cut her off, wagging his finger at her. "Tsk, tsk, Xiao Lu! It's important to know right from wrong. We must not let our desires cloud our judgment!" His voice carried a righteous tone that felt incredibly out of place.
Xiao Lu stood there, speechless, wondering if the repeated lightning strikes had fried his brain beyond repair.
"Wasn't she our enemy?" Xiao Lu asked, her tone filled with doubt. Could Su Xiaobai really be serious about this?
Su Xiaobai nodded sagely. "Fate has guided us here to help her..."
"But..." Xiao Lu trailed off, unsure whether to believe his sudden shift in character.
Su Xiaobai snorted and pointed to his singed hair, still sticking up like a bird's nest. "If she was really our enemy, do you think I'd look like this? Would the heavens be punishing me? Do you still think she's a bad person?"
Xiao Lu blinked, speechless. It made sense... and didn't make sense at the same time.
Since when does getting struck by lightning prove someone's innocence?!
Su Xiaobai shook his head, letting out a bitter chuckle.
'You bastards used me again...'