Cassandra, somewhat of an emotional wreck, was still distraught over what Jamie had done. Koda grabbed the rag. It barely fit in his werewolf hands and began wiping her tears away as he said, "To be fair, you were going to do far more terrible things to us. And you did attack us as a 9-foot-tall Skinwalker who beat Jamie half to death."
She began to calm down a little, then protested, "It's still so cruel! I was going to make it quick, I swear! Everyone tries to kill people in this world. Why am I the monster here?"
"Well, if you go and attack someone unprovoked, you forfeit your life. All the pain that happens to you is your fault. Besides, you have a hostage— the ambassador! If we don't get them back soon, and I'm not joking, you could literally cause a world war."
Koda sighed. He didn't want to defend Jamie's actions. "Lives are at risk, and you weren't cooperating. I don't know what I would've done, but I would have had to do something quick to get you to talk."
Cassandra grew quiet and began to stand up, her head nearly hitting the ceiling as she towered over Koda. "His eyes," she said. "I've only seen one other person with them. They're like... if hell itself manifested in someone's eyes, it would be his. He's the... devil."
Curiously, Koda asked, "Tell me, who is the other?"
Cassandra answered softly, "Shi... Shiloh. When we were in the lab, somehow she got out. When she did, she tore the scientists apart. Her face... it was like her soul had been set on fire, and the only thing left was rage, pure rage, and the pleasure of that rage. It was like a demon, but one that knew every form of pain and wouldn't stop until it inflicted it on you."
A cold draft lazily drifted in, and snow began pouring in from the window. Cassandra joked, "Part of the reason I wanted to kill you is because you have that warm fur."
Koda opened one of the cabinets, pulled out a tarp, straightened it with a flick, and wrapped it around Cassandra. "Well," Koda said, "between being drunk and covered in fur, I don't get cold much. But without skin, you must suffer more than any of the other monsters."
Koda stepped toward the broken window, his large, clawed hands pressing against the frame. With a swift motion, he pulled loose boards and debris together, sealing the gap where the cold snow had been pouring through. His breath fogged in the chilled air as he worked, but he seemed unfazed by the cold. Once the window was secured, he pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with a flick of his thumb. The faint glow illuminated his face as he leaned down and used the smoldering tip to light the fireplace. Flames danced to life, casting warmth and flickering shadows around the room.
Cassandra, watching the ritual with quiet interest, saw the cigarette in his mouth and asked, "Do you feel anything from that?"
Koda explained, "Well, the strength of this cigarette would easily make any seasoned human smoker very sick. As for alcohol, we often drink very strong substances or even poisons. For example, we sometimes mix our drinks with poisonous puffer fish to get a high."
A look of realization crossed Koda's face as he began to understand. "How long have you been a monster?" he asked.
She answered bashfully, "About two years. But the only other monsters I've been with were kids. We were all recently turned by the scientists."
Koda finished his cigarette and flicked it into the fireplace. He questioned Cassandra, "Why hasn't Shiloh talked to you about any of this?"
Cassandra took a deep breath. "Well, she's been teaching us how to fight and hunt, but nothing about the world or anything outside. She says outside the military zones are worse monsters, and this is the safest place on Earth. We can hide, blend in, and be safe." She pouted a little and added, "Plus, all the other adults are just assholes. Shiloh's okay, but she creeps me out."
Koda searched through the cabinets for something until, excitedly, he exclaimed, "Eureka!" He pulled out a bottle shaped like wine, but it was pure black with a massive skull and bones design in the middle. He set it down and asked, "Would you like to try?"
Cassandra excitedly jumped up, causing the ground to shake around them. "I would!" she exclaimed.
Koda laughed and said, "Calm down, I don't want the others thinking there's an earthquake."
Embarrassment and anger curled inside her as she muttered, "I didn't ask for a 300-pound ass."
Koda teased her with a grin, "Well, you're going to have to figure out how to live with it now."
Cassandra laughed and said, "Well, I have a question for you."
Koda took a swig of the bottle, sighed, and replied, "Go ahead, kid, but don't take all day. I have to go out there and get Jamie."
Cassandra asked, "Well, why didn't you go after him?"
Koda replied, "When he has these episodes, I let him go. If I try to pursue him, I could make it worse." He looked at the bottle regretfully and set it down. "We have a complicated relationship, and I'm not going to spend nine hours explaining it to you."
"But couldn't he hurt someone?" Cassandra asked.
"This land is pretty barren, so I doubt he'll run into anyone," Koda answered. "But if he does, he won't harm anyone unless they mean harm to him— or, as you found out, if he's trying to save someone else. That's his character, and that's how his training kicks in. Besides... I have to make sure you're alright."
With grieving eyes, Cassandra said, "But I'm a monster."
Koda looked at her and said, "You're just a kid. You want to see the world, live your life. A monster only wants to destroy and won't stop until everything's gone. Remember that— it's the most important thing you can learn in this world. What makes a monster? What makes a man a hero or an angel? You'll learn how the world really works."
Koda suddenly smiled, his face relaxing as if something clicked. He then said to Cassandra, "They're all real, but you can't judge based on how you look or what you are. It's about what you choose to be."
Cassandra smiled, her face filled with wonder and hope. Koda thought to himself, It's been a while since someone took my advice this well." Most people I talk to are... flawed, to put it mildly. It had been a long time since he'd spoken to someone like Cassandra.
Another thought crossed his mind, Most people would probably think I'm just being a moralist asshole, like Superman on a Saturday morning cartoon. Superheroes—man, they make it sound so easy.
But it was nice, for once, to sound like one.
Cassandra's interest shifted to the bottle; she was curious about its flavor and the high it would give her. Noticing her curiosity, Koda said, "I want you to know it's going to taste worse than anything you've ever had. You'll probably spit it out and wonder why the hell I even drink this."
Cassandra looked at Koda as if considering whether he might be lying before he handed her the bottle. "I made Jamie drink his first bottle; he was really young, and it broke his habit. However, I never got over mine," he reminisced, his gaze drifting over the bottle. "I guess I had nothing to lose except for a nephew I had to bring to war. It was easy for him to drop it—he had a future to lose. I didn't."
"Go ahead, try it," he urged.
She skeptically examined the bottle before finally downing it.
She drank the concoction like it was the last drop of water in the Sahara. At first, nothing happened, and she frowned in confusion. "I thought it was supposed to—" Then the foul taste hit her. "It tastes like gasoline! Why the hell would you drink this?" she groaned, nearly vomiting. "I think I'd rather have Jamie stab me again."
Koda burst into laughter. "Well, that's a good sign, kid. Maybe you'll stay away from it. You don't want to get too friendly with this stuff."
Cassandra set the bottle down, her curiosity still lingering. "But why do you drink it?"
Koda paused for a moment. "There's a warm feeling in your stomach now, isn't there?"
Cassandra nodded.
"That feeling," Koda explained, "it's going to make you happy, whether you like it or not. That warmth bubbling inside you? If I drink enough of this stuff, I forget. I forget my failures, the people I've killed, the loved ones I've lost. I forget the world I'm in. I forget that I'm a lonely man, helpless to stop the storm the world brings."
He looked her in the eye and said, "I want you to know something, Cassandra. You might forget, sure... but it'll make you the loneliest person on Earth. So please, if you see someone like me, stay away from them."
Koda grabbed the bottle and threw it against the wall, smashing it into pieces. Cassandra watched him, taking in the sadness in his expression.
"I don't think I will," she quietly said.
Koda smiled faintly. "Well, you've already done better than me when I first transformed. As long as you're smart enough to learn from other people's mistakes, you'll be fine."
There was another concern growing in Cassandra's mind, though she tried to hide it. But Koda saw right through her and said, "I can tell something's bothering you. What is it?"
She didn't respond for a moment, but then the words slowly slipped out. "I'm hideous. I'm ugly. No one will ever want me. I'm the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
Tears began to well up in her eyes as she glanced at the mirror, staring at the skinless abomination reflected back at her. Koda chuckled, then started to laugh harder until it grew uncontrollable. Finally, he forced himself to stop.
Cassandra's sadness turned into confusion. "Do I look funny to you?"
Koda smiled. "Cassandra, there are a million monsters that look far more terrible and ugly than you. And you know the funny thing? I've probably dated most of them."
She looked even more confused. "But you can turn into a human. Why would you ever consider anything that looks like me?"
Koda gently replied, "If there's one good thing about monsters, it's that they don't care how you look. You were once human, and it's going to take you some time to get over that human bias of what's beautiful. Beauty—especially when you're a monster that can be every shape and form of abomination—is in the eye of the beholder. You won't be judged for your appearance, but for your character. Over time, you'll start to see and want people for their character, not how they look. Even I do, as a werewolf."
A flicker of hope crept onto Cassandra's face as she asked, "Really?"
Koda nodded. "Yes. Only humans judge you for how you look. Only man is a monster that is so pointlessly cruel."