What was she supposed to say? She's not sure, but she knows it wasn't the stuff she did say. Can she really be blamed for that though? One person is allowed to have a breakdown at a time and she's pretty sure it was her turn with the breakdown stick, she fucking died! Who cares if some random ninja offscreen saved her, she ceased living. It wasn't even a big fight where she didn't measure up, or some final battle, she got thwacked out of existence by a spinning sword some guy threw. It was the equivalent of a giant kunai. Who dies from a kunai?
She was an afterthought, and she died. All her training, all her efforts, all her clever strategies and planning, gone in an instant on the whim of a random encounter she spawned by being a little too far from her village.
On that note, what the actual hell? Sure. Wave Country is another country, it's in the name, but it's not particularly far from Konoha. They're a week from home, two days without Tazuna to slow them down, and Jonin are showing up?
She'd thought these powers were a boon, but it turns out they are going to kill her. The worst part is, she's not sure if the ninja that saved her was a respawn mechanic, or if she just got lucky. It'd be so much easier to get over this if she had a respawn mechanic. Instead, she spends more than an hour out here in the rain, under tree branches and leaves, rocking back and forth with her arms around her knees and her knees held to her chest. Her face rests in her legs, and her breaths are as twitchy and broken as her tear stained gasps are.
"Sakura, you need to come inside." Kakashi's voice barely even reaches her, but she's so used to quipping back at him it doesn't even get to her brain before it leaves her mouth.
"It's my turn with the stick!" She shouts.
"Sakura that doesn't make, okay…" It takes him a moment, she doesn't really care what he's doing. She cares a second later though, when something pointy pokes her face. She looks up to glare, and finds he's prodding her with a sturdy wooden pole.
A stick, to be exact. "You can have the stick, just come inside," he says, "We can't both be sick, Sakura, someone needs to keep those two from doing that dumb thing where they die."
"Oh, so you care about when they die, but me, I'm just complaining?" She shouts, fire in her eyes. Even without the Chaos blade tainting her essence, she can feel the sting of red enter her eyes. It's changing her, and she should probably get that checked out by someone that grasps how magic swords work, but that's not a today problem!
"When you die, you're annoying." He says. "When they die, we'll wish they could be."
It's a few seconds, just staring between them. A few seconds of honest contemplation.
Before it clicks, and just like that, she reaches up and she takes the stick.
"I'm not human anymore." She says, a sniffle stealing her whole breath.
"I know." He says gravely, and yet, she believes him.
She believes he knows, because he doesn't look the least bit surprised by her emotional confession. He's staring at a monster, and she understands that because she feels the same.
"My life's a game now." She tells the truth. She looks him in the eye and she tells the truth. "I have stats, and skills, and traits, and my money is held in an invisible prompt box so it doesn't weigh me down, and, and, and I heal when I sleep."
"I got that last part." He says. The rain has drenched his hair, making him shiny. She's never thought Kakashi was pretty before. Dignified, experienced, magical, but never pretty. Looking him over with the rain glistening off of him and his clothes clinging, he's pretty.
Alternatively, after an hour out here in the mud and rain, she can't even imagine how she looks. She doesn't want to know what horse shit she has managed to take the visage of. "I've started carrying sedatives around in case I need to knock you out in an emergency." He admits playfully.
"That's smart." She says, finally picking herself up, and stabbing the stick into the ground.
"You don't have questions?"
"I could ask you one question per minute for the entire rest of our lives, and I don't think I'd run out." He says, helping her up despite his relative weakness. His hand is warm in hers. It reminds her that she's not alone, just like Naruto, she is wanted. "I don't like wasting my time with futility."
"That's a lot of minutes, Kakashi." She points out.
"It's a lot of questions."
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"Kakashi-Sensei, why are we getting ready to train on a mission?" Sakura asks. "You said we shouldn't do that, because we'll be tired when something comes up suddenly."
They stand in a field of trees, not a particularly new field of trees either. She can see where she was crying just last night, and that unnerves her a little. Breaking down isn't something she's done in a few years now. She normally has her games to delve into, or trolls on the internet to make fun of to make the pain fade away.
Last night was the first time in a long time that she's been pushed to her limit while too far away from her gaming systems to jack in and lose all concept of time. Her Switch died days ago, her battery packs were only really enough for three days of the week-long trip, and while she's sure there's a place for her to plug it in here… She's also a little terrified to check on it. Her sword went through her, through her pack, and into the tree behind her. She hit the tree so hard that she's pretty sure she broke bones despite the pack taking the brunt of it.
Her Switch might be dead, really, really dead.
No Ninja Tracking Unit is gonna save her Switch.
"Because I'm injured, and I need you all to be able to support me if Zabuza comes back." Kakashi says.
"You didn't kill him?" Sakura asks.
"He killed him." Sasuke asserts.
"I watched you kill him." Naruto agrees.
"Yeah, that's the thing though, I didn't kill him. A ninja tracking unit did." Kakashi explains. "The same ninja tracking unit that saved Sakura."
He says that as if they're supposed to grasp something, but all she can ask is "What's a ninja tracking unit anyway?"
"Not someone that saves random leaf ninja." Kakashi deadpans.
"So…"
"So Zabuza's alive." Kakashi is very clear. "Do I need to repeat it?"
"Nope." Sakura sighs.
The monster that killed her in one second is still walking around, and likely going to come back for more. She could not be happier to have this new information, it really makes everything better on her trauma cream sandwich. "I don't think we can get strong enough to handle that in the time we're here, Kakashi."
"Why not? By my estimates, we have at least a month before the bridge is finished." Kakashi says. "He's probably not going to be quick to attack. He'll wait until we're complacent, which means we might have the whole month."
"I don't think a month is going to change the outcome of that fight." Sakura's surprised to see Sasuke nod along with her, but things have changed in recent times. Maybe not last night recent but, well, she needs to apologize about that when she gets the chance. It wasn't fair how she treated them, and their questions are valid. It just sucks she doesn't know how to explain it. She really needs to figure it out though, they deserve to know. Ninja are allowed their secrets, but her secrets are changing their odds of survival in drastic ways. She's putting them in real danger, and they have no idea why.
"Not a normal month, no." Kakashi agrees. "That's why you two are going to practice a technique I think you'll benefit greatly from, while Sakura and I do more one-on-one training."
"That's no fair, Sakura's already pulling ahead!" Naruto shouts, throwing a fist up in the air. "Why does she get super special training?"
"Because she died yesterday." Kakashi says it.
And no one has anything to say to that. Not even her, it lingers in the air like a bad smell. "She didn't listen to me when I said to get down. She realized Tazuna might not be able to get down in time, and blocked something she shouldn't have to protect the client, and she died for it."
Their faces can't fall, they already did, and Sakura resists the urge to point out that's not what happened at all. She forgot Tazuna existed, it was all about her boys. She kicks herself internally for that.
With her Genin Agility, getting out of the way would have been trivial.
She should have trusted them. They'd be so mad if they found out she got hurt because she didn't trust them to take care of themselves. Just another secret to take to the grave. This one, actually, to the grave. Her new gaming powers, she just needs to find the right time.
"A little bit of competence is a dangerous thing." Kakashi says. "You all knew to get out of the way because you understood instinctively that you were outclassed. Sakura didn't, which means if she doesn't get stronger, she'll die when Zabuza attacks again."
"I can learn to dodge." She mopes, her head falling as well. "I promise."
"Besides. We have a lot to talk about, and it's a good excuse to be alone." He says. "It's not every day your student bleeds to death and is still walking around to talk about it."
His eye smile is unnerving in a way it has never been before. Sakura is sure of it, this is going to suck.
"I need an adult!" Sakura shouts.
"Too bad there's no one for a hundred clicks that could save you." Kakashi answers back.
"Kakashi, that's really creepy…" Naruto trails.
"Too far?" Kakashi asks.
"Way too far!
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"Why did you really pull me aside?" Sakura finds herself asking mid mope. He'd given them instructions on how to do something called tree walking, it looked interesting.
"To begin, you already know tree walking." He says. "You used it on the jar mission with your hand. If you want to learn the technique, I have no doubt you could learn it on your own rather easily."
His confidence in her makes her blush, but that doesn't stop a flare of anger for being split from the group. Her dumb boys are hers now, she doesn't like being singled out. She's never liked being singled out. Her favorite type of project back in class were group projects, because she was smart so people would flock to her. She could do all the work while they pretended to take credit, taking focus off of her. It was nice for her anxiety, really nice. She did the work, someone else presented, simple.
"Then there's this whole, your life is a game matter you said yesterday." He says. "Was that serious, or hyperbole?"
"Serious." She can't look at him. "I have stats, and other stuff. I thought I was hallucinating at first but then I got a skill that heals me when I sleep and... You know, I keep healing when I sleep."
"That's not conclusive evidence, but I understand why you might take it as such." He says, stopping suddenly. They're in a field of trees and ground, not a lot of bush or anywhere to sneak up on them from. It's big, wide and open, a friendly reminder of what nature will do if given time and a little bit of groundwork is done.
"What else could it be?" She asks, summoning up her stats box and moving it around with her hand. "I can see and feel it, and it's altering my reality."
"You could be in an elaborate genjutsu. Weeks can pass in such a thing, I might not be real." He suggests. "Maybe you're in a coma, or a deity beyond our comprehension has decided to mess with you."
"If it's a genjutsu I can't break it, if I'm in a coma I can't wake up, and if it's a deity I have to work within the blessing given." She says. "Nothing changes in either scenario, the only move is forward."
"That's one way to look at it." He agrees, resting his hands at his side. "The boys will be training their chakra control and general movement over the next while. Working on the basics means a lot for boys like them who ran past the basics to try and get stronger faster."
"You think what they know will mean more once they've practiced?" She asks.
"Yes… You on the other hand, learned too much of the basics and never strove for any greatness at all. Your new desire for Kenjutsu is impressive, but as you learned earlier, it's not enough. It being your only option can even lead to being impaled by your own sword. Imagine if instead of a sword you had used a rock ninjutsu to block."
She bites her lip, thinking about it, remembering. It hurt so much, and every single second is burned into her memory in a way she'd rather forget.
"Our goal for these coming few days is to learn what your elements are." Kakashi says. "Then I will teach you how to waterwalk. If we still have time and aren't in mortal danger yet, I'll then teach you how to make your own jutsu."
"I, what?" Her head spins at that. "I thought creating ninjutsu was restricted to Jonin for safety reasons."
"It is." He stares at her sternly. "We know exactly how much chakra any jutsu already made costs, we don't have the slightest clue how much chakra a new jutsu could cost. Someone trying a relatively basic concept with an absurd cost could lose limbs, or wind up in the hospital for chakra exhaustion if they mess up."
The stare is physical. She can't help the sweatdrop that rolls down her cheek. "So what you're saying is…" Her feet clack against each-other, the awkwardness taking a toll on her health and energy. There's nothing worse for a gamer than a very, very awkward moment without a clear puzzle to solve.
"You got pinned to a tree by your own sword, ripped the sword out of your body on your own, and then passed out in a pool of your own blood." The stare continues. He's expecting something from her, but the words are stuck in her throat as a lump. "And then you got up and walked around six hours later. I think I can trust you'll be fine learning how to shoot water out of your hands."
"I'm gonna make pokemon moves." She admits.
"Not yet you're not." He says. "Right now, we're going to test your affinities."
"I don't have chakra paper." She says.
"You don't need it. You have a gaming system." He prods her forehead suddenly, causing the slightest flinch but she doesn't fear pain like she used to. She died yesterday, she fears death a lot more than a Kakashi hit. Luckily, he doesn't see fit to give one. "I'm going to teach you a very basic jutsu for all five elements, and you're going to practice them until you are alerted you've developed an element. Then we're going to continue that, until it's very obvious you're not going to develop it for one of them."
"And if I get them all?" She asks.
"Then I'll accept that you have a gaming system in your soul." He says rather bluntly. "That's just not something that happens."
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The water jutsu is simple. She sits around meditating and controls her chakra until she can find the moisture in the air and turn it into fluids. She then has the fluids fill a flask that she drinks to replenish some of her energy, and repeats. She does this all of the first day. From the end of Kakashi's speech to sun down, she gets progressively better at doing this droplet by droplet.
It's not until nightfall that she manages to fill the entire flask in only a few seconds. She'd been pouring the water out for a while, too much hydration is a dangerous thing.
[You have gained Water Affinity Level 1, all Water jutsu will be more effective and cheaper.]
She expects Kakashi probably didn't think she'd reach it in one day, but it sets a good precedent for the others. If any of them aren't learned after two full days, she probably doesn't have that element. With that she gets up, and decides the boys could use some water. She can still hear them, quietly arguing in the distance. The forest carries sound well, making her feel like she was right next to them.
It's not long before she sees them through the treeline, and not much longer after that before she's standing at the bottom of the trees watching the two boys collapse onto the dirt on their backs. "Do you two need water?" She asks, jingling the flask.
She's surprised to see them both nod, but neither move. "Are your legs not working?"
"Not much." Sasuke says. "I'm exhausted." It's good to see Sasuke with humility, but it's actually not that uncommon an occurrence recently. She thought he was growing as a person, but she knows better now that he's expressed his concerns about her. He cares about her, and wants her to know that. Expressing weakness is a good way to show you trust someone, and she's pretty sure someone told him that at one point.
He's an idiot but he's a sponge. If something is important, he'll never forget it, and that means if she grinds her own social skills up she can probably help boost him too. "Then let me help." Kneeling by his side, she brings the flask to his mouth and takes some joy in watching him drink.
"Hey no fair, I need water too, Sakura!" Naruto groans slash shouts from his place on the forest floor. "My legs aren't working either."
"Somehow, I feel like your issue is less from a lack of stamina and more from falling on your head so much you crippled yourself." She quips, quickly refilling the flash with her palm after pulling it away from Sasuke.
"That's fine, just let me sleep it off. What do I need, six hours?" He jokes.
She shakes her head, crawling over to help him. She rests his head in her lap, and brings it to his lips, helping him along. She's gotten a lot more intimate with him over the past month. He responds very well to physical affection, and once he stopped badgering her about dates it became easy to see he hasn't the slightest idea what a date is.
For years she's thought he was sexually harassing her.
Turns out he's an idiot and thought that's what friends do. He's also a sponge, and someone said the words 'friend date' around him once and quickly changed their dynamic for years to come. Not that he isn't interested in her, she's pretty sure he is, but he loves the gentle kindnesses far more than his puppy crush.
Who knows, maybe one day she'll find she's interested in him too.
It's not today. "Have you two made any headway?"
"No." Sasuke grunts. "Kakashi was too tired to teach us, so he disappeared back into the house almost right after he got back from you."
"Baah, haah, well, we learned if we put too much chakra in we go flying." Naruto says, pushing the flask away with a hasty draw of breath. "You might like that one. It hurts a little but…"
"I'll try it." She agrees. "And if you put too little in, you fall off. Is it just about the amount though?"
"Huh?" Naruto asks.
"I mean to say, is chakra quantity the only variable that's important to sticking to the tree, or is there a secondary or tertiary objective like conforming your chakra to the shape of the bark, or trying to make the chakra sticky?"
"..." That's the sound of crickets, crickets and silence.
Neither boy has anything to say to that, honestly, neither does she, the idea that they wouldn't think of that, well, it sounds like Naruto and Sasuke.
"Fuck." That's Sasuke clapping his hands over his eyes.
"I promise, I tried really hard." Naruto mumbles.
"Okay, let me figure this out and then teach you both, okay?" She gently rests Naruto's head back on the grass, and gets to her feet.
She runs at a tree, and finds herself at the top a few seconds later. It was as simple as breathing, a technique she already knew instinctively. She started with a little too much chakra, but was able to adjust to match in real time until each step was incredibly easy and movement was simple. The issues didn't begin until she reached the top, when momentum was canceled and suddenly she had to float there on her own merit.
She found she had to increase the chakra for a second to stop from falling, before she could flood the area under her with controlled essence and conform to the shape beneath her. It was less digging her chakra in and more creating a friction barrier that stopped her from falling. She imagines it'd be harder to do on a wall where the holes are microscopic, but it should be doable with some practice.
It's all about feeling her chakra, and latching on graciously while ensuring it sticks.
"Oh, boys…" She sighs to herself, looking down at their jealous faces. "There's a secondary and tertiary objective!" She shouts down.
"We got that!" They both shout up at her.