I can't believe it myself, having teammates and doing fun stuff. I can't believe this happening. I'm reincarnated as a little elf in this world and face lots of hardships and dangers. But when I met then I feel a lot better. It's only been a while but we face struggles together in this dungeon. Fighting monsters, eating together, and laughing together.
This is a life that I never have when I'm still in Japan. For a loner pathetic girl like me, this kind of interaction is quite impossible, to begin with.
Retto is a brave knight and very strong, his a bit reckless and has that rude personality sometimes, but he is a good person. Kuroe has a very cute personality and seeing her action makes me laugh. Lumina is like Kuroe's guardian and big sister.
I wonder if I met these three back in Japan. I maybe the three of us having a blast in our youth. Lumina will be my senior and Kuroe is my junior. Retto meanwhile might be a soccer club captain or honorable student. We're going to the shopping district after school and eat crepes and check out some pretty clothes.
Back in my current reality.
Retto turned his glance to me and said:
"You're smiling reaches your ears, what are you thinking?"
"Nothing."
I replied.
Starting a new life in this world is not a bad thing.
Then is a few moments, Everything suddenly whited out.
The whole dungeon became white. All I see are Retto, Kuroe, and Lumina's faces, and their glance with their smile.
What's going on?
A beam of light came falling to the crystal dungeon destroying it deeper and deeper. The crystal walls crumble in many pieces and the monster was killed and pulverized in a single strike.
All happened in that single moment so fast I can't remember.
…
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...
...
...
...
I see, I'm just dreaming, this is just a bitter-sweet dream.
I always sleep to forget anything, that's why my skin is so great they said even my mother was jealous.
Waking up at my desk I look to my smartphone and check the time.
As I look at it I saw it's 6:00 AM. I stretched my arms and jump to wake my well-being. Leaving my room I saw my drunk mother in the kitchen sleeping.
"What is she doing in her life?"
I said.
I get something to eat in the refrigerator and go back to my room.
Looks like I fall asleep while reviewing for the exam today. I guess, I just need to refresh my brain and read my reviewer one more time before going to school.
I worked hard everyday s that I'm not going to end up like my mother. I don't want to be an alcoholic woman that blames everyone for her loss. I want to be in control of my life.
"What Am I dreaming again? I can't remember. I feel like I still know it before I leave my room."
I have no time for that I need to get serious and ace my exam.
The time moves and it's already 7:30 AM. The exam starts at 8:00 AM. I have half an hour to groom myself and get ready for school.
I get a loaf of bread and eat it while I'm brushing my hair. As a girl, this is quite normal. A girl needs to be presentable to anyone.
Then, at the moment before I leave our house.
My mother wakes up and asked.
"Have you eaten?"
I nodded.
"Take care."
She said.
I leave the house ignoring her.
While walking to my school. Boys in the streets turned their glances as they see me walking.
"Look at that beauty, she's like an actress."
"She's so cute."
"I wonder who's she dating?"
"That's Hayami-san… It's said that modeling company is recruiting her to become a model."
"Well, she is so cute she should become an actress."
Those words again. I keep hearing those words again. It makes my head so big. I'm fluttered to their praised and it makes me happy. I'm so cute and pretty.
Then there is this trash.
"That girl again, she stole the boyfriend of the student council president and dumped the boy after that."
"The math teacher really likes her he always gives her high grades. I wonder what they doing after class."
"She is just a face, her body is not that good looking. She is tiny and her legs are short."
"Midget."
"Bitch."
Ignore this trash, I have tests to do.
What's their problem? I'm doing my best every day. What's their problem? I'm not doing anything with our teacher. I'm not even talking to the student council president's boyfriend. I don't even have an interest in having a relationship. What's wrong with these people?
I hate you, I hate all of you, I hate everyone.
Keeping this passivity as my act and not doing anything, but still bullied by these people.
Being alone for a very long time not just in school also at the home.
This pain in my chest keeps on aching and aching.
"I hope everyone should just die."
I muttered.
Going back home, I didn't saw my mother and sit down at the table. The table already has a meal for dinner. I ate my dinner, wash my body, and read a book.
My worst mother is out again. Is she in the beer house again? Maybe that's for sure.
Walking to the living room I saw my mother crying holding a picture of mine. It's my picture when I'm still in elementary.
She is crying and crying on the floor.
I wonder why?
"Mother that's being creepy, it's not like you to cry like that."
I attempted to touch her and my hand just go through her.
What's happening to my body?
"Mayu… I'm sorry… I'm sorry... I'm sorry for not being a good mother. You wanted to become an actress right, you wanted to make movies and be on television. Then, why did you leave this world so early? Early this morning your still alive and going to school. How this thing happened."
My mother muttered.
"Leave? I'm here…"
I turned my glance to the and saw a news about a high school girl suddenly fall from her seat and die after taking her exam.
"Student in Tokyo technological high school die. The cause of death is cardiac arrest. According to her classmates, the girl just fell to the ground. The girl is said to be a victim of bullying in school and this stress might be the cause of her having a heart attack."
The news said as I watch.
"But I'm here."
"Mayu…"
"Mother… Mother…"
I tried to hug her but it's not working. Tears in my eyes came falling and falling.
This can't be true, this can't be true. I'm still alive what kind of joke is this. I'm not fulfilling my dream yet. I want to live, I want to live.
Someone came to our house to pay respect.
"I'm so sorry… Miss Hayami."
It's my classmate Sonohara, it's the girl that always bullies me in school.
She bows her head and cry.
"You're the girl that bullies my daughter in school."
Sonohara nodded with her face full of regrets.
My mother charges toward her and slaps her face.
"How dare you came here and pay respect to the girl you killed."
"I didn't kill her, I just want to have her attention. But I didn't kill her. Hayami-san I want to be friends with her. But it ends up like this I started enjoying teasing her and pulling some pranks."
Said Sonohara.
"My kid is right Miss Sonohara. She didn't mean anything harmful. Our family will take responsibility for your daughter's funeral. We're believing that Mirai will learn her lesson and change."
My mother goes back and gets my picture.
"Look at her in this picture. Will money make this smile back in my life? Is your child changing for the better will bring her back to life? Tell me, Mister Sonohara. There nothing we can do anymore. Mayu is already dead. Even I kill your daughter Mayu is still be dead. My child Mayu her angelic smile will never come back… Please leave me alone. I don't want to see anyone anymore."
Sonohara's family leave my mother alone.
My mother cry and came walking to the kitchen and saw that the food she prepared for me is gone.
"Mayu?"
The plates are placed in the sink like I always do. My plate, cup, and chopsticks place in a linear position.
"Mayu?"
"I'm here mother."
I muttered.
"Mayu…"
Now I realized it, my mother is not that bad of a person. It amazed me that I only realize it now. She always prepared meals for me, I'm so lazy I didn't even wash my dishes. I didn't even know how to cook. I look down on her and never realized her sacrifice.
Her words of "Did you eat?" Meant something.
I never said it's good or great.
I never thank her for doing those simple things.
I hated her for those few bad things, not thinking the good things.
I'm a horrible person.
When I was a child I'm lost I the forest. I believe I'm still 4 years old back then.
It's so dark, it's lonely and I'm afraid.
An illuminating light came and she appeared and hugged me.
"Mother."
I cry and hugged her back.
"Don't worry mother is here, mother will do her best for you."
She said.
Tears in my eyes fall and my heart breaks apart.
Why I became like this?
"Mother, I'm sorry for being lazy, I'm sorry for being such a bad child, I'm sorry for not doing simple things. I'm sorry for not washing dirty dishes, I'm sorry when I'm talking bad things to you. I'm sorry that I look down on you. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for not talking to you. I'm sorry for throwing alcohol and beer in the refrigerator. I'm sorry when I throw your food away when I'm angry. I'm sorry for not being at your side. I'm sorry for thinking that you're an easy woman. I'm sorry for not standing up for you. I'm sorry for being ashamed that you're my mother. I'm sorry for denying that you are my mother. I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"
"Mayu… Take care."
Said my mother and smile.
Then it makes me remember that last word she said to me this morning.
"Yes, I will."
I replied.
It's been ages since I said that to her with a smile.