Lily's POV
"Why did you do this to me?" Emma cried, staring me straight in the eye.
No excuse at that point seemed to make any sense.
"I called you my friend." She continued, "friends are supposed to have each other's backs, friends don't treat friends that way."
"Emma, I know, I wish I didn't." I cried, Gray was holding me back but there was no more point to the secrecy, I wanted to come out, and I wanted it to be all out.
"Were you jealous?" She asked me.
I suddenly ran out of words, well, my tongue got stuck.
"I was." I admitted, Gray flinched beside me, but I paid him no mind. "If I'm gonna be honest I was never really into him. He was an eye candy, quite alright, he was also the guy every girl wanted, he was attracted to me, I didn't even have to do too much. I basically just went with the flow." I explained to her.
"It didn't seem like you were going with the flow when you called me by his name." Gray objected, taking his hands off me like I had suddenly grown too hot, too scalding to be around.
"When was that?!" I protested.
"When I called to tell you about Jessica's incident with Rudd." He said.
Memories of it came too vividly to mind. That was another major fuck up I had.
"There's something else I'd like to say," I stuttered.
Spilling all those words felt like I was being scraped inside out with a carver knife.
"I had something to do with that." I added, tarrying.
"No you didn't." Chase said, objecting. "Is it bad enough that you made me take the fall for the crap you pulled with Jessica, now you wanna take glory for putting Rudd out of County High?" He asked, looking very disgusted.
It's the first time he spoke since the great revelation started, and I'm sad it had to be to me.
"No, not that part." I said quietly when he was done.
"Wow! I didn't expect this audience." A new voice interrupted.
I wanted the ground to open and swallow me.
There was nothing worse than could've happened.
Emma turned to look at who it was, and in the blink of an eye, she was on her feet screaming down the roof.
"So she knows your place? Huh? Has she been here before? Did y'all fuck each other in that bed, the bed you said was 'ours'?" She turned to face her. "Did he tell you your hair looked beautiful under his warm lights, did y'all start in the kitchen and end in the bed too? Guess what, we already did!" She said, and was about to hurl one of her heels at Jessica.
Chase rushed in and restrained her
She kept kicking and fighting, just at the club, but he was too strong for her.
A tear rolled down my eyes, paradoxically, they looked good together that instant, just as they had always done.
"I sent her your location." Gray said quietly, but loud enough for us to hear, the only sound was that of Emma's hot breath. "I was mad, I, I wasn't thinking." He added.
Chase looked at Emma, who was already embarrassed. He sat her down, and kept his hands around her even though she didn't reciprocate, but she didn't fight him off either.
Emma tried to shift a bit, and give the distance of at least a hair's breadth, but Chase was enjoying the feel of her body, and had the ready excuse of Jessica being present to not let her go.
"You stay here." He said a little too close to her ears, his mouth almost touched he skin, I saw the great restraint with which he held back.
"Get your fuckin hands off me." She replied, but nothing changed.
"You were gonna say something?" Jessica spoke up, looking at me.
I thought I hated her, but suddenly, I didn't have the balls to look her in the face.
I had fucked up, bad.
I checked the time, it was already a few minutes past seven pm.
I knew I couldn't leave in the midst of it all. More especially, as the size of my audience had grown.
I closed my eyes and took in the silence, steadying my breath to the sound of the other four of them, there in Chase's living room.
"I had the security cameras turned off that day." I confessed.
Jessica gasped so hard, even I pitied her.
I was expecting her to launch at me, anytime, so I bent my head as I added the other little bit.
"I didn't fancy having to fight you for a space in Gray's heart, so I did what I had to do. Rudd had intentions, I only helped him. I'm sorry." I said.
I had spilled everything there was to do.
I felt so empty, so vain, and strangely, at peace. Gray kept his distance and I could understand, I was filthy.
Jessica, strangely, remained mute.
"How did you get here again?" Chase asked Gray, breaking the silence.
"We've got each other's locations, man." Gray said, his head bent.
"And what are you here for?" Chased asked Jessica.
She looked so out of body. Jessica sat, her head bent and shoulder slumping. She stared too hard at the floor, all of us looked from one's face to the other
The only person most at peace with her was Gray, and so he took the initiative to meet her.
Gray put his hands around her shoulders like he did mine, it was too much for me to bear, so I looked away.
Emma looked at me, but cast her gaze away quickly as our eyes met.
'She might never be able to forgive me.' I kept saying within me.
"I can't tell you to forgive that, Jessica. But all of us in this room have made mistakes we are all ashamed of." Gray said, reasoning with Jessica. She was still speechless and didn't even lift her head.
Chase stood up and took Gray's gun off the table where he threw it when Emma swooned. .He unloaded all the billets and threw them in the trash. "Just being careful." He said and went back to his position next to Emma.
"I have wine." He said.
'Bad boy Chase' was suddenly the saint in it.
Emma and I chuckled, stopping only when we saw that we both found what he said funny.
There was an unspoken rule that we couldn't anymore. I didn't know where I stood in her books.
"I guess you have no more need for me anymore." Jessica looked at Gray, then Chase.
Then they looked at each other. Neither of them knew what to make of what she had said.
"Hold up." Gray called after her, running. I couldn't take it anymore.
I stood up and gathered what was left of belongings.
"I'm really sorry, Emma," I said, "both of you. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. I have to go now." I said, and hurried out.
I did the walk of shame, to the outside of Chase's house, where Gray and Jessica were. I wasn't looking forward to meeting them, cause I didn't have anything to say.
"Hold up." Chase screamed after me.
I looked back, to check it was really me, it was.
"Emma wanted you to have this." He said, looking away. "I'm sorry Chase, I really am."
"I'm sorry too." He apologized.
Shamelessly, I threw my hands open for a hug, and for once in a very long time, the universe was smiling down on me. Chase hugged me, holding me even longer than I expected. "I'm sorry for all I put you through. I really should've known better." He apologized.
"Please tell Emma about all the monies, I forgot." I said, when he broke the hug.
"I will." He said, smiling. "And you can keep it. Thank you, Lily. That's not even payment enough."
I took my hands out of his before I got too emotional.
He went back into the house, and I walked in the direction of Jessica and Gray. They were a little too far apart, and weren't talking.
"I'm sorry, Jessica." I apologized, and didn't wait for a response.
Gray could go to hell.
With that, I left, ready to face my sad existence, alone.