Emma's POV
Chase was fucking mad.
Like I hadn't had a bad day enough.
All I wanted to do was eat and chill, before he dragged his stupid self to my room.
I didn't know how to feel. I had never been with him alone, ever, not even at the house because he was barely home anyway.
He kissed me and took me to the bed, only to lean over me to get his coat.
My cheeks were red already, and so were my tits when I undressed to pleasure myself for the first time.
He left me high and dry.
As soon as he walked out of my room, I rushed to the door, and picked it. It didn't swing open till the next day, when it was time for our departure to heaven knows where. I didn't even open up for the waitress who brought my food up.
He probably thought me too unattractive to continue. I threw all his flowers on the bin and put the chocolates in my bag, to give it out to children wherever I met them.
As soon as he banged the door, my senses returned. The ones that left when I started to nurse thoughts of Chase having sex with me.
I was embarrassed and turned on.
I had never been in such a situation, so I didn't know what to do.
For starters, I knew to jump out of the clothes I was wearing.
Then I stood naked, with my whole body being a reminder of Chase. I still remembered the exact places he touched me.
I tried to feel myself the way he did but it just didn't feel the same.
I tried it again, slower and lightly, but my hands still felt strange to me.
My body had grown to love the touch of the one I hated the most.
Sad and broken, I went into the shower and turned the hot water on. While it outed, I washed two fingers, because I was germaphobic, and thrust them straight into me.
It was like I was reaching for the stars. The end was near, but also very far.
I did it two more times before giving up and washing my body.
I scrubbed so hard in hopes of wiping Chase's touch out of my memory. It was as futile as trying to please myself.
That was the point where hurt set in. It felt like I had been betrayed by someone I never even trusted. I felt so much like a fool. Like I should've seen it coming. I was smarter than that.
I closed my eyes, all memories about Kevin came flooding back.
Kevin, Chase, who next?
I was the unfortunate kind of unfortunate. It was one thing to know I couldn't have a guy. It was a whole different ball game to have him throw himself at you, give you hope, make you feel on top of the world, and then embarrass you.
I was just too dumb to feel suicidal, as Chase once put it.
I had begun to get insensitive to things I should normally have a reaction for, which is why I chose to sit next to Chase and Jessica on the bus the next day.
Lily thought I was going mad by choosing to do so, but so did I when she started dating Grayson, I did not object to that, so she knew not to.
Jessica made all sorts of comments, after which I made a show of putting my headphones on even though I had no music playing.
I had begun to worry about the devil when he walked in with a back outfit and sunglasses. No one dared comment on how odd he looked.
He sat right in the middle with no tucks to give, nothing like "I'm so sorry Emma, for leaving you high and dry, I'm a prick with no discipline, so I hope you have mercy on me."
I looked out the window while bobbing to a non-existent song. All I had to do was be still, he and Jessica were too dumb to not have personal conversations on a public bus.
As I guessed, Jessica started it. He sat like he was sick, but I could not be bothered.
I couldn't catch everything she said, but I heard something about 'last night'.
It broke something I never knew I had in me.
Up until that point, I used to daydream of having his babies.
I had it worse that night. We had sex in the dream, and I was turned on in real life.
I woke up feeling like a new widow, but since I didn't want to have to say anything to Lily and Gray, I scrubbed my body, washed my mind off Chase too.
I dressed the best I could, and went to the bus.
Lily kept a seat for me with Gray, but if I was going to be honest, it was about the same thing as sitting with Chase and Jessica. It pissed me off. So I decided to live on the edge.
"You were beautiful last night." I heard Jessica say.
Chase snubbed her, and gave me a quick look to check if I heard anything.
My eyes were closed, so hopefully he couldn't see the tears that were forming.
"I couldn't pay for that kind of service if I wanted to." She repeated again.
It was at that point that Chase shouted at her.
The rest of the ride was in silence.
We soon got to the orphanage which was our first stop.
Jessica moved on to be with her cronies.
"Last night was beautiful, huh?" I said in Chase's ears and passed.
I was minutes away from tears.
He ran to my side and continued the convo, but I just didn't want to be with him.
"Jessica is just a fool, a spiteful one." He replied.
"At least you can't say she hallucinates." I shot back.
I was taking double my normal strides, to lose him, but Chase wasn't bothered, it was effortless for him.
"Can't put that past her."
"You know what you can put past me? Talking to you." With that I switched lanes and continued like everything was alright.