Moreover, a child cannot be without a father, and she didn't believe any man could love her child more than the child's own father.
Thus, her original plan had to be changed.
Although Lin Xiaoguai could understand it rationally, she still felt depressed.
Lin Xiaoguai always felt her life was somewhat different. From childhood to adulthood, nothing that had happened to her was truly good, yet it couldn't absolutely be said they were all bad.
Lin Xiaoguai was born in a southern rural village. Her ancestors were originally a family of scholars and although none reached high official positions, most of her forebears were literate and respected, making a significant name in Fengyuan Village.
However, after the initial liberation of the country, landlords and capitalists were stripped of their properties. The Lin Family, having vast lands, was labeled as landlords, and all their assets were to be confiscated. Lin Xiaoguai's great-grandfather and many elder clan members mostly died trying to protect the ancestral home and the heirlooms, eventually all being executed.
The remaining clan members lost the family fortune and couldn't even stay in the ancestral home. Life became difficult suddenly, and during the subsequent turbulent periods, their class status caused them nothing but suffering. Lin Xiaoguai's grandfather and several educated clan members were sent to work in the farms, living in cattle sheds doing dirty, exhausting jobs, always cold and hungry, and regularly dragged out for public humiliation.
By 1976, the only one who survived and returned home was Grandpa Lin, yet he died within two years as well.
Those in the village didn't fare any better, suffering insults and exclusion by their neighbors. The Red Guards paid frequent visits; some members of the clan starved, some were driven to death, and others died from "accidents". Thus, the Lin Family of Fengyuan Village declined into silence.
During this difficult period, the family library which represented centuries of the Lin's cultural heritage was burned down by the Red Guards.
Since then, the Lin family had no more lineage to pass down and lost their backbone, with countless clan members dying numbly.
Of course, despite the decline, the remaining family members weren't illiterate and could still be considered slightly literate.
The education of Lin Xiaoguai's father and his two uncles was decent enough for basic tasks like accounting.
Lin Xiaoguai was the fifth child, with four older brothers. It's easy to see how cherished she was at home, not to mention being the precious child born to her parents in their late forties.
But trouble also brewed from there.
Due to the cultural upheaval, the remaining books and antiques were burned or destroyed by the Red Guards like scraping the ground clean, and even small items that were hidden away dared not be revealed.
Thus, the Lin Family was truly poor from top to bottom.
Fortunately, whether it was Mr. Lin or Uncle Lin, these men were capable. Although not extremely wealthy or prestigious, they still managed to raise a large family under subtle disdain and exclusion from the rest of the village, marrying and having children without delay.
Mr. Lin had two older brothers, named Lin Shaoqiang, Lin Nianqiang, and Lin Guoqiang in that order, as Grandpa Lin often said during his lifetime, "If the youth are strong, the country is strong," and considering the special national conditions at the time, names couldn't be too extraordinary.
Below Lin Guoqiang were two sisters, Lin Zijuan and Lin Zifen, both married far away. While the siblings were harmonious, limited communication due to inconvenient transportation meant they didn't see each other often.
Though the youngest among the siblings, Lin Guoqiang was capable, successfully raising four sons and a daughter even during times of famine, with none starving to death, whereas Lin Shaoqiang and Lin Nianqiang fared slightly worse.
Lin Shaoqiang, as the eldest, was honest and gentle, but married a formidable wife. Fortunately, while sharp, she was reasonable, managing both home and outside affairs to everyone's admiration. Their sole regret was their eldest and second sons passing away early. After finally raising a daughter, they were relieved by their two brothers when another three daughters followed over the next decade. The continuation of the eldest branch of the family seemed at risk due to family planning policies, and it took selling everything to finally have a son, depleting the family richness built over decades. Despite support from other siblings, the four daughters' marriages were less than satisfactory.
As the second oldest, Lin Nianqiang was the most tactful among the brothers but had a stubborn streak. Normally easy-going, he couldn't stand idleness and would act rashly when heated, saved only by the support of his two brothers. Later, Lin Nianqiang married a bad-tempered wife, and although they had seven sons and two daughters, only three sons survived. Because of this, no matter how intensely Lin Nianqiang and his wife fought, they never reached a breaking point. The couple bickered all their lives, but in their old age, they became more consultative and stopped fighting.
Lin Guoqiang, though the youngest, was the most composed and reticent among the brothers, and also the most calculating at heart. His two elder brothers, in fact, often followed his lead. Compared to his older brothers, Lin Guoqiang's wife was the kindest and most honest, always following her husband's lead, and her greatest virtue was enduring hardship.
Unlike Lin Shaoqiang and Lin Guoqiang, who both experienced the pain of losing a child, Lin Guoqiang was fortunate in this regard as all his children grew up successfully.
If there was anything he regretted in his life, it was that his four sons took after their mother, lacked presence, and were not the brightest, which disappointed Lin Guoqiang who had hoped to nurture a college graduate to resurrect the family's past glory.
But this regret gradually disappeared after Lin Xiaoguai was born.
Lin Xiaoguai was supposed to be named Lin Wanwan, with Xiao Guai merely being a pet nickname. However, when her birth was registered, there was a mixup with no way to correct it, so they just switched her official name with her nickname, ending up with such an unconventional name.