Vira hadn't slept a wink. He kept thinking of the moment Saka had touched him. He dragged himself out of the bed. He needed to convey to Saka that he wasn't mad, just surprised, but somehow, just thinking of looking at Saka in the eye made him blush.
Was he allowed to have this sort of a feeling? He wondered.
He remembered the scared and upset look Saka had given him. He felt irritated with himself.
He looked at the clock. It was time for him to start a new day.
Akat was already waiting down, breakfast was already prepared.
"Good morning!" Akat seemed way more cheerful than usual.
Vira gave a lifeless smile. Only after breakfast, he got some level of positivity in his system. He will clear things with Saka.
But life is never so easy.
****
Saka stared out of the window, chewing his pencil. He could see the gate from his window. He had been waiting for Vira to come, he wanted to end this awkardness he felt, but Vira appeared to be late.
Close to nine, he saw Vira laughing and talking with another person, while entering the gate. Who was he?
A few minutes later, Vira walked into their class, along with the new person.
"Everyone, this is Akat, and he is here as a career advisor. Feel free to ask whatever you want from him."
Akat's talk about his life certainly improved the class's enthusiasm. He was extremely impactful.
Those who wanted to pursue science approached him after his talk.
Saka was not at all happy. Akat was good looking, his credentials were inspiring, and he made Vira laugh. Closer to age, Saka couldn't help but feel they made a good pair.
Tobi approached Saka during break
"Yo! You look so glum, people would think the world is ending!"
"Tobi, I think I screwed up right royally!" He narrated the events from last night.
Tobi was thoughtful for a few seconds and then he showed thumbs up. "Nice."
"What nice?"
"Skinship is a brilliant way to get him to fall for you!"
"I don't get you."
Tobi the wise one explained, "By touching him, you are increasing his anticipation level, the mood, just wait and watch, he'll let you touch him more." Tobi winked.
Saka stared at him, "Did you doze off when I told you he got angry?"
"He was probably just surprised. Go and talk to him."
"He didn't even smile at me during class."
"He doesn't come to class to flirt with you."
Saka fell into silence. He was still not convinced, but he would go to the staffroom after class, like usual.
Vira always went with him anyway.
But when Saka went to the staffroom after class looking for Vira, Roma informed him that Vira had left with Akat.
"Oh! Saka, Vira told me to inform you that you didn't have to wait for him. He would be leaving with Akat this week."
"Whole week?"
"Yes. That's what he told me."
Saka chewed his lips. Vira was avoiding him.
*****
Vira kept glancing at Saka during the session, but Saka did not meet his eyes. He either looked at Akat or outside of the window.
Vira was frustrated. He thought he would call Saka for lunch on the terrace, but Saka had already gone with Tobi.
He spotted them deep in discussion and decided not to bother them.
He looked forward to the evening ride, but that plan got killed.
Akat got a call from an unknown number. As soon as he took it, the colour left his face.
"If you dont.." a voice said, at the other end of the line.
Akat cut the call and broke the Sim. A single tear drop rolled down his cheek.
"Are you okay?"
Akat shook his head. "Why do I feel so tired?" He asked, as his voice mirroring his broken heart, as he leaned on Vira's shoulder.
Vira didn't know how to react. He patted Akat's back awkwardly.
Roma just walked in. "Sen, everything alright?"
Akat looked up. But before he could respond, "I'm taking Akat home. Can you please pass the message to Saka that I may not be able to go home with him this week?"
Akat looked at Vira in surprise as he dragged him towards the bicycle stand.
"Saka, isn't he the kid who acted as Apā? Uncle Karn's son?"
"Um.. the red head kid in class 12."
Akat vaguely remembered. "Ooh. I didn't know you were close to people."
"Not people, him."
Akat's eyes widened. "So the person who changed you is Saka?"
Vira didn't say anything. He sat on his bicycle and waited to Akat to settle before riding home.
"Does he know that you have special feeling for him? When did it start?"
Vira responded, "I'm still trying to figure out my feelings. Leave that aside. Now let's focus on your feelings. Who called you? Why did you start crying?"
"I don't know what to do. That was Prapit. He pushed me away, when I begged him to accept me. Now that I've run away, he pretends to care. I know he will forever look at me like his son. I don't want to be treated that way. Why cannot he understand?
Vira tried making sense of Akat's blabbering. "So you ran away from the guy you loved, because you loved him so much it hurt to be around him?"
"Something like that."
"And the guy you ran away from is chasing you but you ignore him?" Vira was perplexed. Clearly the other person missed him.
"Vira, if the guy you loved, you wanted to sleep with, date, spend your life time with, looked at you like you were his son, or brother, and distanced himself when you got closer, will you be able to bear it?"
Vira didn't answer.
"After knowing your feelings, he flirts with others right in front of you, dines, does what not, will you be okay with it? It's not cheating, he never accepted you. What will you do?"
His mind went to Saka. If Saka got a boyfriend..or a girlfriend.. Vira would stay clear of them, he could not be broadminded enough to be around them everyday, though he would still pray for their happiness, for he loved Saka.
Vira was starting to slowly understand Akat.
"He wants me to go back to being that kid he looked after, but I can't, Vira. I don't want to. I want to be his husband."
Vira made a strong cup of coffee and gave it to him, after they reached home.
Vira also gave him his phone and said, "use my phone for now. Text Prof Vanta that you'd be using this phone number."
Akat looked surprised. "Are you sure?"
Vira nodded. "No one texts me other than Grandma. I'll call her up later."
Little did Vira know, his act of kindness would come with repercussions.