"We all want a love story, but not all love stories are happy ones."
–- Veronica Roth
The crowd made it difficult to enter the temple, but my loyal believers made space for me. Each of them had been there for hours, waiting endlessly for one reason: my blessing.
Or rather, Eloven's blessing. Passed through me, but whatever.
The priests greeted me, their voices ringing with endless "Happy New Years." Hearing it so many times dulled the effect.
This one year, in my fourteen lives, had never been easy. More often than not, it was the year I died.
There was hierarchy in the temple, of course.
At the lowest rung were the errand boys, handling tasks like fetching supplies.
Above them were the lay attendants—cooks, gardeners, and maids like Sophie.
Acolytes came next, priests in training, learning from senior priests. Once trained, they became priests.
Priest Commanders led specialized units of swordsmen, while Archpriests wielded authority over nearly everything, even the commanders. Archpriests answered to the High Priests, who then served me.
The holy saint.
The temple was vast, housing countless people, yet it never felt crowded.It was the largest monument after the Imperial Palace.
Smaller temples existed in other regions of the empire, managed by priests or senior priests. Still, as a saint I was expected to visit each one at the very least, once a year.
Celia was an Archpriestess. One of the few priests blessed with divinity. Ranks were tied to how much divinity a priest had.
But the divinity of a priest compared to a saint was that of a flicker to a wildfire.
Today, under the guise of visiting one of these smaller temples I was headed to the auction. The largest auction of the year, held outside the capital in Haldor.
Haldor, one of the fastest-growing cities, home to nobles holding ranks as high as marquesses.
This was where I would find it.
The festival within the temple demanded my presence, but…
"I must leave for Haldor."
"Your Holiness? You've just arrived, and the festival hasn't even begun!" The High Priest's expression betrayed his frustration, though he tried to hide it.
"The year has come to an end, and I have not visited the temple in Haldor. For the New Year, I must go. The believers there need me."
"Your—Your Holiness, how thoughtful! But—after the festiv—"
"I shall leave now."
"Your Holiness…" He sighed, clearly defeated. "I shall prepare the teleportation portal."
Each temple had a portal connecting it to the other temples, a convenience that spared me the decades it would take to travel by carriage.
Since I was leaving by portal, no priest followed. The temple in Haldor had its own staff to serve me.
This was no ordinary visit. This was about getting what I came for.
…
The priests welcomed me with their heads bowed. More New Year wishes followed. By evening, the festival was in full swing.
Echoes of the fireworks in the sky deafened us to the sound of someone talking right beside us.
From space, the empire might look like it was celebrating the dawn of a new era, not just the end of a year.
I had brought a cloak with me for this exact moment. After leading the prayers, I was expected to rest in my chambers.
But rest was far from my mind. It was time to leave for the auction.
"Your Holiness—?" A seemingly priest called for me as I marched towards the main gate, disguised as an errand boy carrying trash bags.
The only thing distinguishing me from the crowd—the huge cloak I wore to hide this famous face.
With thousands of people coming and going, for the most part, no one paid me any attention.
Nobody other than this man, Lucas.
An Acolyte in the Haldor temple. He was one of the key characters, who played a significant role in the original story. Meeting him was expected.
Although I wished it had been not like this.
Wide-eyed, trying to look beneath my hood. His shock was written across his face, plain as day. "YOUR HOLINESS??" I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the gate, silencing him with my hand on his mouth.
He was loud. The last thing I wanted was attention.
Once safely away, I removed my hand, but he still gawked at me like I'd sprouted wings.
Lucas Sunbrook. The third son of House Sunbrook, a marquess family with a long history of loyalty to the temple. Their bloodline often produced priests, and politically, they backed Magnus.
How could I miss such an important opportunity?
"You scared me, Lucas!" I said, trying to keep my voice light.
"You—You know my name?" He blinked rapidly, like a child seeing his first snowfall.
"Of course. The third son of House Sunbrook. Still an acolyte, or have you become a priest yet?"
His eyes lit up as if I'd just handed him the stars. "Not yet, Your Holiness! But soon! Just a few more months, and they say I might even awaken divinity as strong as an Archpriest!"
I nodded, pretending to care. Lucas, oblivious to my indifference, launched into an excited recounting of his achievements.
"Where were you going, Your Holiness?" he finally asked, his curiosity cutting through his chatter.
"To the market," I replied quickly. "For the festival."
His eyes narrowed slightly. "And?"
"And the auction. "
"The auction?" His voice cracked, and he practically leaped out of his skin. "THE AUCTION?!" He almost jumped, before realizing the people around.
"Lower your voice." My patience wearing thin.
"But the auction?" He was whispering now.
"Your Holiness, it's… it's not exactly proper. A saint at an auction? YOU CAN'T—"
Saints and priests were not expected to partake in worldly things, such as expensive, lavish lifestyles, auctions, or politics.
It was best they remained humble. Hence, me sneaking out to an auction seemed unsightly to him.
But I knew Lucas a little too well. Hence, I let him know.
"You haven't been to an auction ever, have you?"
"YOUR HOLINESS, HOW DO YOU—"
"You're a priest in the making. Of course, you haven't. It was just a safe assumption." I rolled my eyes.
His eyes widened as he scratched his head. "But… isn't that, uh, a bit improper for someone like you, Your Holiness? And to go alone… I'm afraid that's much too risky—"
"You want to come with me, don't you?" I interrupted, squinting at him.
His face turned a deep shade of red. "Ack! N-No! BUT—but now that I've seen you, I can't let you go alone!"
I couldn't help but laugh. He was an awful liar.
Lucas had a knack for accidentally stumbling into trouble, and it seemed he was determined to join me in this one without question.
He had never enjoyed his life as an acolyte.
House Sunbrook's tradition of sending every child to the temple until they awakened divinity wasn't optional.
If they failed, only after much humiliation could they pursue other paths.
Lucas had been in the temple since childhood, denied even the smallest joys of life.
If they didn't, only then they'd be allowed to do anything else.
And a nerdy life in the temple came at the cost of boredom.
I grabbed his hand as we left the temple's surroundings. Reaching the market, covered with lanterns and stalls, merchants shouted their wares as kids circled around their parents.
"Wow, it's so lively, Your Holiness! But wait, why are they all looking at me?" He turned to me. "Do I have something on my face?" And blinked twice. He rubbed his cheek in a panic, clueless.
Unable to realize…
"You're in your priest's uniform." I gave him a flat look.
"Oh." His face fell as he glanced down at his robes. "Oh no. OH NO!"
I sighed and massaged my temples. "Lower your voice, Lucas."
"Sorry! Can you hear me now?" he whispered loudly.
"Enough." I sighed, pointing to a stall nearby. "Get a cloak. I'll wait here."
He nodded and darted off.
…
As he scurried off, I took a moment to survey the market. One woman stood beside me, her familiar voice making me turn to take a look.
The moment I saw her, it left me dumbstruck. It was Mira.
"Mira…?"
She turned around, rolling her eyes, voice sharp. "Yeah, it's Mira! What do you want?" She surely carried an attitude for a lowly maid.
"Looks like the blood oath didn't humble you." The color drained from her face as she realized it was my voice.
"Your Holiness?" Coins slipped from her hand as I grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the crowd before she could be trampled.
In her visibly shaken voice, she gulped, "Your Holiness, I—I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, Your Holiness."
She followed, "It wasn't on purpose—"
"Save it." My voice cold, thoughts spinning.
I could barely focus because finally, I had remembered where exactly I knew her from.
Mira wasn't a named character in my novel, yet I met her during my 9th life. One of the longest lives I lived.
In the original story, Lucas eventually was awakened as the saint after Lucian passed away.
In my 9th life, I helped Lucas escape from his family trauma and brought him to the temple in the capital.
Where I myself trained him personally, something that never took place in the original story. I treated him no less than a real son.
While around the same time, Mira had been sent from the Imperial Palace to work here.
Which I later found out was on empress's orders.
The first time Lucas saw her, his life upturned.
Never had he experienced this feeling before. It was love at first sight.
So deep, he sat explaining to me how he felt towards her for hours until I fell asleep. Every. Other. Night.
But then, he was poisoned.
I couldn't bear it.
I killed her, as the primary suspect.
The main culprit was never found; perhaps I just needed somebody to blame. And she had been the easiest target.
In my 9th life, I had given up going back to my world and set myself on making each life happier than the previous one.
Hence, I tried to make many relationships.
One with Lucas had been one of the strongest then. Though it had been more than 300 years since that, I wondered if he still mattered to me.
Whether he did or not, one thing was crystal clear. I couldn't at any cost let Lucas see her.
If they fell in love once again, he wouldn't like it.
"Your… Holiness?" She pulled me back to the present.
"Right, of course you're here!" I facepalmed. "You're originally from Haldor."
She looked at me, confused, and questioned with much courage, "How do you—''
"I know everything. Now shut up."
Before I could say more, I heard the sound of someone's gulp behind me, among this noise. What was that?
"She… she can't be real." A faint mutter.
I turned to look at the creep, a man in a cloak. He pulled his hood down.
It was Lucas, staring at Mira like she was the sun he'd been searching for his whole life.
He stepped forward, taking her hands in his. "Y-Your name?" he stammered, lowering himself to her height.
Her voice shook as she replied, "M-Mira."
How had I messed up this badly?