Chuntao was merely a maidservant; without her mistress's command, how could she dare to monitor every move made in this secluded rose courtyard? Chuntao must be her personal maid, Xianyue mused, recalling Li Hanyue, who in years past, to save her own life, sacrificed her maid and let her take the fall. Back then, Qiuxin had taken on a crime punishable by death to protect her family. Though this time the offense wasn't as severe, if Xianyue were ruthless enough, ending a servant's life like Chuntao's would be no harder than crushing an ant.
Though it's common for servants to bear their masters' burdens, Xianyue felt a sudden resentment. She had intended to speak more openly before, but now, with words on the tip of her tongue, she found herself disinclined. She offered a smile, one whose iciness only she understood.
A pang of sorrow flickered in her heart—for Bai Zhanfeng, that straightforward, single-minded man. Even if he wanted mutual respect in his marriage, it would hardly be an easy task. If Chen Ruoxi were more like the spirited, candid Nian Xiaoyu, without pretense, perhaps their relationship wouldn't be so strained.
"Get up."
Xianyue said little, turning back toward her room. She didn't want to escalate this matter; after all, it was Chen Ruoxi who would accompany Bai Zhanfeng for life. She genuinely didn't wish for a rift between them because of her.
Chen Ruoxi glanced coolly at Chuntao, kneeling on the ground, and said, "Get up."
Watching Xianyue's retreating figure, Chuntao felt a pang of confusion. Seeing Chen Ruoxi follow her inside, she rose but didn't enter, choosing instead to remain by the doorway.
Xianyue approached the table, poured a cup of water for Chen Ruoxi, and took one for herself. She had been quite parched, drinking the water in one go before nibbling on a few pastries. Across from her, Chen Ruoxi fixed her gaze on Xianyue's every action. In all her life, she'd never seen a woman behave so unrefined—drinking tea with such an audible sound.
Chen Ruoxi waited, somewhat anxious, for Xianyue to speak. Such a perceptive woman was unlikely to believe her excuses; even if Chuntao had acted independently, as her mistress, she bore responsibility for any overstepping. However, Xianyue said nothing, simply smiling as she gazed toward the door.
Setting down her teacup, Chen Ruoxi broke the silence. "Lady Xianyue, may I address you in this manner?"
Xianyue smiled, brushing the crumbs from her hand. "Address me however feels natural to you."
Titles were mere formalities; what mattered was the character of the person. Such matters rarely concerned Xianyue.
"Chuntao has been with me since childhood. If she has offended you in any way, I hope you will be generous."
Xianyue's brow furrowed involuntarily. She had no intention of pursuing this matter; why bring it up again? Perhaps due to lingering irritation upon waking, she felt an intensifying dissatisfaction as she looked across at Chen Ruoxi.
"You're quite fortunate, Madam Bai, to have such a devoted servant," Xianyue remarked with a faint smile. She considered them both discerning individuals and was certain Chen Ruoxi would catch her drift.
Chen Ruoxi smiled, though her face betrayed discomfort as her worry ebbed. She feared most that Xianyue might inform Bai Zhanfeng of the incident. She understood all too well how much he valued the woman seated across from her. Even the thought of such a possibility brought a chill down her spine, so she hurried over without delay.
"Lady Xianyue, you won't mention this to him, will you?"
Chen Ruoxi's eyes fixed earnestly on Xianyue, her heart still unsettled. She needed her reassurance before she could fully relax.
In the past, she had considered herself lucky; but it wasn't until meeting Xianyue that she understood what it meant to be truly blessed—born with a noble lineage, leading a legendary life, surrounded by men of extraordinary repute, all who placed her upon a pedestal. Lan Wang himself, a man willing to sacrifice his life for her. How could someone like Xianyue ever comprehend the agony of unrequited love? She could never grasp the depth of her feelings for the man Chen Ruoxi had loved so fervently.
Her grandfather and Bai Zhanfeng's father had once served in court together, enjoying a close friendship. From a young age, her grandfather would often take her to the Bai residence. The rebellious young man, clad in black, with a stoic expression, never mingled with those his age, and she seldom saw him smile. Bai Zhanfeng's father would often joke about making her his daughter-in-law, a jest her grandfather also enjoyed.
Back then, too young to understand love, she nevertheless remembered the quiet boy named Bai Zhanfeng. Later, he left Chu, disappearing for nearly a decade. As time passed, tales of his exploits spread.
A once-in-a-century martial genius, a young hero, unmatched in skill. Her family would often say that only Bai Zhanfeng was worthy of her.
Yet news of him soon became inseparably linked with Nian Xiaoyu, the former Wulin Leader's daughter. At first, she had been afraid that he might truly end up with Nian Xiaoyu. But three years had passed, and he continued to reject her advances. Many servants called him heartless, indifferent to beauty, but she thought differently. Such a man, in her eyes, was truly loyal, a man who would never play with a woman's affections. To be loved by him would mean he'd remain steadfast forever.
But when she finally found solace in this, her maid Chuntao informed her that he had fallen for the princess of Fengguo, Princess Xihe, a woman radiant and legendary. For her, Bai Zhanfeng had defied his father and even clashed with the king of Chu over her. And there was still the hidden vault key, which had yet to reach her hand. Just as she was losing hope, his father proposed marriage, making it clear to her grandfather that he wanted her as his son's wife.
At last, she was wed to him. The moment he lifted her bridal veil, she gazed up at his sharp features without regret. But his words plunged her heart into an icy abyss: "I can offer you the honor of being the Bai family's matriarch. Whatever you desire, I'll do my best to provide. I'll even pledge to take no other wife for life. But I already have someone I love, and I will love only her."
On her wedding night, she spent the night alone, confined within her chambers. Her heart ached, yet she couldn't let go. Every time she sought him out, she was met only with the icy, blade-sharp gaze in his eyes.
She knew he didn't care for her. Previously, it had been mere rumor, but now she had witnessed the truth firsthand. She was resentful, not only because the man she loved did not reciprocate but also because the legendary woman he loved seemed less remarkable than her fame suggested. Try as she might, she couldn't see what about her inspired such devotion. She often thought that if, just once, he looked at her, Chen Ruoxi, with half the tenderness he had for Feng Xianyue, she would be willing to die with a smile on her lips.
If he loved her so deeply, then why agree to marry her? And having married her, why couldn't he let go of someone who wasn't his? Even in drunken moments, he embraced her while calling out another's name. The more she dwelled on these things, the more her discontent swelled, teetering on the edge of madness. She had never known she could feel such bitter jealousy—it was as if she was spiraling into insanity.
Xianyue regarded Chen Ruoxi. To call him "Young Master" felt too distant now that they were husband and wife; their bond was more strained than she had anticipated.
Xianyue smiled, beginning to understand why the old master of the Bai family had chosen Chen Ruoxi. In her eyes, she saw a deep passion no less than that of Nian Xiaoyu's. Such love would make them defy all reason; even if one day they sacrificed everything, they would never hurt Bai Zhanfeng. But unlike Nian Xiaoyu's bold, fearless love, Chen Ruoxi's position and upbringing confined her passion within certain bounds. Love manifests in countless ways, but not everyone can walk away like Nian Xiaoyu. For Chen Ruoxi, retreat was not an option. Xianyue never saw herself as particularly empathetic, but this time she understood the anguish of unrequited love—that torment of seeing happiness within reach yet destined to remain just out of grasp.
"Is this why you came to see me today?"
Xianyue didn't answer directly. She only wished Bai Zhanfeng well. She and Chen Ruoxi shared no deep affection; and their political union was not something he could simply end on a whim. She had no interest in stirring up trouble.
Empathy was one thing, but dealing with someone who held only disdain for her left her in poor spirits. Whatever words she had meant to say were now lost. Even if she did speak, she doubted Ruoxi would listen—perhaps she would assume she was pretending to care. Matters between husband and wife are best resolved together; anything she said would have little effect, especially since Ruoxi's heart was unlikely to absorb it. As for Bai Zhanfeng, once so forthright, he now bore his burdens in silence. What could she truly say about matters of love? Should she urge him to be kind to Chen Ruoxi, to live peacefully? Such words would only weigh more heavily on his heart.
"The Young Master goes to the military camp every day, often returning quite late. Does he have much to handle?"
Chen Ruoxi's question was delicately phrased, but Xianyue could clearly hear the dismissal in her tone.