Xuan Yue stood up from her seat by the desk, gazing at Bai Zhanfeng, who still stood foolishly at the door. "Master Bai, do I need to invite you in?" she asked.
"Did I interrupt your important conversation?" Bai Zhanfeng replied, stepping inside. After so long, she hadn't changed; she remained carefree and casual, exuding a natural grace. But he—he could no longer be the person he once was. Gone was the man who spoke boldly of his love for her, heedless of her wishes. Now, he lacked the courage to declare in front of everyone that she was his. And what right did he have to? She was the Queen of Feng, the Empress of Lan. And as much as he didn't want to admit it, he now had a wife of his own. With her current status, even being her friend felt like an honor too high for him.
But he did not regret it. Even if the world mocked his foolish infatuation, he held no remorse. Instead, he cherished those memories as proof of the real Bai Zhanfeng—the one who loved fiercely, the one who pursued what his heart desired without fear. At least once, he had dared to follow his heart, and those moments would forever be the most cherished in his life.
Xuan Yue laughed suddenly, leaning closer to Bai Zhanfeng. "Is this really the Bai Zhanfeng I knew?" she chuckled, her voice filled with amusement. Seeing her so carefree, he couldn't help but feel uneasy.
The Bai Zhanfeng she knew no longer existed. Once a free spirit roaming the world, he now lived shackled by duty. The day he watched her fall into the Valley of Death, his heart died with her. And though she returned, the carefree man she once knew never came back. Even her return couldn't change the fact that he would never be able to claim her as his again. The men of the Bai family were always so deeply devoted, and this time was no different.
Xuan Yue pouted in frustration, patting Bai Zhanfeng's shoulder. She felt a pang in her heart—none of the people around her seemed happy. Her brother wasn't, Lan Yi Xuan wasn't, neither was Sister Pingting, and now even Bai Zhanfeng had lost his joy. Once, she had found him annoying for constantly nagging her, but now, she wished he would go back to his old self—back to the days when he fussed over her like an old man. At least back then, he was happy.
Pouring tea for both of them, Xuan Yue's smile faded, and despite her attempts, she couldn't force it back. Seeing Bai Zhanfeng like this, her heart felt heavy.
Bai Zhanfeng took the cup and looked at Xuan Yue. Her face, not one to be described as peerlessly beautiful, bore a faint smile. She had grown thinner, her once vibrant spirit now overshadowed by weariness. The journey had been long and harsh, and they had even been attacked by Xuanyuan's forces along the way. She must have suffered greatly, and seeing her like this, Bai Zhanfeng's heart ached.
"Where is Lan Yi Xuan? I didn't expect you to come alone."
He had thought Lan Yi Xuan would be leading the army this time, or at least accompanying her. How could Lan Yi Xuan let Xuan Yue come to such a dangerous place alone? If this had been before, Bai Zhanfeng would have loudly questioned him, but now, he couldn't. This was a matter between husband and wife, and he had no right to interfere. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this than Xuan Yue was letting on. Lan Yi Xuan loved her deeply; he would never willingly let her face danger alone.
"It was my own decision," Xuan Yue replied, her hands cradling the teacup, drinking slowly.
"Why?" Bai Zhanfeng asked without hesitation.
"Lan and Xuanyuan are different. Lan Yi Xuan cannot be compared to Xuanyuan Hao. He left the royal palace as a teenager and only recently returned. After the late king's death, he ascended the throne immediately. The ministers, of course, are still not fully convinced. Lan is still unstable, with many princes vying for power. If both of us left, who would manage the kingdom? As its king, Lan Yi Xuan must remain there, so I can carry out my duties here without worry. As for me, I am both the Queen of Feng and the Empress of Lan. The soldiers of Lan, like those of Xuanyuan, admire strength and heroism. They will follow my commands. It's a situation that benefits us all."
Her reasoning was sound, yet Bai Zhanfeng couldn't shake the feeling that something else lay beneath her words. Still, he chose not to probe further.
Xuan Yue patted his shoulder with a smile. "Bai Zhanfeng, seeing you like this really doesn't sit well with me. I preferred the old you."
Bai Zhanfeng clasped her hand. "With Lan Yi Xuan's capabilities, nothing will go wrong in Lan, even if he's not there."
Xuan Yue's smile faltered, and she remained silent. If it weren't for Gong Shaohua, that would be true. But that woman was unpredictable, capable of anything. Who knew what she might do in retaliation against Lan Yi Xuan? She was a ticking time bomb in Lan, and how could Xuan Yue not be worried?
"Do you look down on me? Do you think I can't manage this on my own?"
It was obvious that Bai Zhanfeng still harbored resentment toward Lan Yi Xuan. Yet, Lan Yi Xuan had done nothing to betray her—she, Feng Xuan Yue, was the one who had failed him. The bitterness in the tea she drank seeped into her very heart.
Bai Zhanfeng stared at Xuan Yue, the campfire outside casting flickering shadows on the tent's fabric. Though only two candles were lit inside, the room was still brightly illuminated. He gazed at her face, and the faint smile she wore unexpectedly tugged at his heart.
"Xuan Yue, are you well?"
He had wanted to ask this question from the very beginning but kept it buried inside. When he learned she would come to Bai Chu, alone, his heart filled with doubts. Yet the thought of seeing her brought him a sleepless night of excitement and anticipation.
He had no regrets. Just like what she said to Xiaoyu at Tianxia First Tower—if something was worth it, then it wasn't in vain. Whenever Bai Zhanfeng thought of Feng Xuan Yue, even though it pained him to have missed the chance, memories of their time together still lifted the corners of his mouth in genuine joy and contentment.
He hoped she was truly well. That way, the sacrifice he made years ago out of duty would at least have become a beautiful resolution, something he could use to console himself.
"I'm fine."
Xuan Yue turned her head slightly, facing away from Bai Zhanfeng, nodding firmly. She leaned closer, propping her chin with both hands, and smiled as she blinked playfully. "Do you think I'm someone who'd let myself suffer? Even if the King and Queen of Lan country offend me, I wouldn't show them any mercy, let alone the ministers. As for Lan Yi Xuan, haven't you noticed? He doesn't even have a maidservant by his side anymore. There's no way he'd mistreat me. What about you, Bai Daxia? Are you doing well?"
Xuan Yue sat upright, not really caring about his answer. If he said he was doing well, it would only be self-deception.
"I heard you married the granddaughter of the Prime Minister from Chu State's Chen family—a woman praised for her beauty and talents. Bai Zhanfeng, you must cherish such fortune."
Xuan Yue knew that Bai Zhanfeng might not appreciate hearing this, but she had to say it. The woman was handpicked by Old Master Bai, so she must be devoted to the Bai family. If that were the case, how could she not have feelings for Bai Zhanfeng? Xuan Yue had experienced firsthand the pain of being neglected by someone she loved and understood all too well.
She could be certain of Lan Yi Xuan's love for her, convinced that he must have his own difficulties. Yet, it still pained her. Every second of waiting was torment, driving her to madness. If she felt this way, how much worse must it be for the young lady of the Chen family?
Bai Zhanfeng, for his part, probably felt nothing but a sense of duty, devoid of love. How long could anyone endure such endless waiting?
"Bai Zhanfeng, we make our own choices, and we live the lives we choose. Since it's the life you've chosen, whether it's what you wanted or not, you should bear the responsibility. Regardless of your feelings, I will never forget the way you nagged me like an old man in Yanjing, or how you stood up for me at the royal banquet in Chu State. I've always considered you, Bai Zhanfeng, a friend—a lifelong friend."
Bai Zhanfeng looked at Xuan Yue, his dark eyes glistening, and nodded.
He felt the same—he would keep her in his heart for a lifetime.
"How is Old Master Bai? Is he still in good health?"
Bai Zhanfeng was surprised she would bring up the Old Master at this moment. After all, Old Master Bai had never been very friendly toward Xuan Yue.
"His health is stable, though he's grown older and weaker. When we left Ying City, he was quite reluctant to go. Upon arriving in Ye City and hearing that the Bai family residence had been destroyed, he was heartbroken for quite some time."
"Utter foolishness."
Xuan Yue snorted coldly. Seeing Bai Zhanfeng's curious gaze, she added, "I'm talking about the Chu royal family."
The Bai family had always been loyal to the royal family, devoted to the people, and highly respected. Their residence had become a landmark in Chu, holding deep sentimental value for the people. Destroying it would undoubtedly earn public scorn and dishearten the loyal ministers. While the Bai family had been accused of treason, anyone with common sense could see that they had borne the blame for the good of Chu, not for personal gain.
After all, it was the ancestral home where his family had lived for generations. Bai Zhanfeng and his family had poured their hearts into it. Even the rose garden of Bai Zhanfeng's late parents, Bai Zhanpeng and Murong Xue, would now be lost. His sorrow was understandable.
"Bai Zhanfeng, how about I stay at your Bai residence for a few days? I've got nothing going on. How about tomorrow?"
Bai Zhanfeng was, of course, delighted. The Old Master had mentioned her several times, clearly feeling some guilt. If she visited, it would certainly lift his spirits. If Xuan Yue could offer some words of comfort, that would be even better.
"The food in the military camp is terrible, and making special requests wouldn't look good. I haven't had any wine in ages, and I'm craving it. Your Old Master must have a stash of fine stuff. It's settled then—tomorrow I'll come to your place. Tell the Old Master not to begrudge me the wine!"