Xianyue tilted her head, casting a faint glance at Lan Yixuan, whose earnest gaze she could not quite decipher.
"Is a lifetime of unwavering love truly what you seek?"
Xianyue raised her brow slightly, though inwardly she couldn't help but laugh coldly. To others, this desire may seem shocking, but in her heart, it was a mere fantasy, nothing more.
Nian Xiaoyu envied her, envied that she had garnered Bai Zhanfeng's favor. Yet, how could Xianyue not envy Nian Xiaoyu in return? She was luckier—at least she had the luxury of choice, something Xianyue herself was denied.
"To vow in life and death, to hold hands and grow old together—who wouldn't dream of such a thing?"
What girl doesn't yearn for love? What lovestruck maiden doesn't dream of a future with the one she adores? Who would willingly share the man she loves with others?
Suddenly, Lan Yixuan clasped Xianyue's hand. She turned to look at him, a faint smile on her lips, though her eyes, gleaming coldly, mocked him as they always had, yet this time, even more icily. "Including Princess Xianyue?" Lan Yixuan asked, emphasizing the word "princess."
Xianyue pulled her hand away and swept her gaze over the others in the room. Talking about lifelong devotion to these people was a waste of breath. Beyond the crowd, Feng Jiulan's figure was obscured, yet she felt as though her eyes pierced through them all, knowing his pure gaze, soft as spring blossoms, was upon her with a gentle affection.
"Of course."
Facing Lan Yixuan, her petite frame was unyielding, and her voice, steady and resounding, echoed through the quiet hall: "Young Master Lan, you must know the truth. Even ordinary people who are deeply in love may never be together, let alone me. If I cannot be the only one in his life, if I must share him with many others, I would never marry the man I love. No love, no longing, no obsession, no regret. If the one I love cannot be mine alone, then I will never marry him."
If someone wanted to marry her merely because of her status as a princess, they should stop provoking her. In this chaotic world, how could anyone who aspired to great ambitions be content with just one woman? She had no illusions. Anyone who sought to possess her should abandon the thought of winning her heart. She hoped Lan Yixuan would realize this.
Xianyue's eyes widened, and in their clarity, Lan Yixuan saw his own reflection, as well as her earnestness and warning.
Lan Yixuan remained silent. Xianyue's smile only grew brighter. She had never understood why some people laughed until they cried. She, too, felt the urge to weep, but the tears wouldn't come. This outcome had long been foreseen. Without expectations, how could there be pain?
She glanced at Nian Xiaoyu, who was staring at Bai Zhanfeng, as if trying to see him more clearly. Xianyue, however, walked straight to Luo Cheng and pulled him to stand beside Nian Xiaoyu, firmly blocking her line of sight.
Luo Cheng gave Xianyue a glance, attempting to step away, but was held back by her firm grip. Then he heard her cold, accusing voice: "Nian Xiaoyu, you are too selfish."
Nian Xiaoyu turned to look at Xianyue, her tear-streaked face filled with sorrow. Her hands trembled, still clutching the thick whip, all traces of her former fierceness and authority gone. Now, she was fragile, her small frame shuddering, inviting sympathy and comfort.
Everything Xianyue had said made sense to Nian Xiaoyu, and now, when accused of being selfish, she couldn't help but believe it was true.
Without hesitation, Xianyue pushed the dazed Bai Zhanfeng aside. Nian Xiaoyu's gaze found only Luo Cheng, clothed in his simple robes. Luo Cheng glared at Xianyue, clearly displeased by her harsh treatment of Nian Xiaoyu.
"Nian Xiaoyu, do you see it now? He's chastising me for being harsh with you, but I'm merely speaking the truth. The man standing before you loves you no less than you love your Feng brother."
Xianyue didn't know what Luo Cheng had done for Nian Xiaoyu, but she was certain—Luo Cheng loved her deeply. What man does not value his pride? Perhaps many men here would marry Nian Xiaoyu for her influence, but that day, when she was rejected by Bai Zhanfeng and publicly declared, "I will marry you," how many men would accept that? Yet Luo Cheng, in his gaze and actions, had protected her. If Xianyue were Nian Xiaoyu, she would prefer the steady love of a man like him—quiet yet full of warmth. Isn't that true happiness?
"Don't do unto others what you wouldn't want done to yourself. You've loved Bai Zhanfeng for so long, chased after him for so long. How did it feel when he publicly declared another woman as his? That pain, you know better than anyone. Have you thought about Luo Cheng's feelings? Do you think love is something to be given out of pity? Do you think he should be grateful just because you're willing to marry him? Let me tell you, if it were me, I would have refused you. You value your pride, your self-respect—you're proud. But what about him? Doesn't a man deserve the same consideration? Have you ever thought about how he feels?"
Nian Xiaoyu looked at Luo Cheng, her sobs intensifying. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
Luo Cheng reached out, wanting to pull Nian Xiaoyu into his arms, but Xianyue stepped between them, making a playful face at him. She squatted down, roughly snatched the handkerchief from Nian Xiaoyu's hand, and wiped her tears with a nearly callous gentleness.
"Nian Xiaoyu, for whom are these tears falling? In front of your future husband, a man who loves you dearly—who are these tears for? If they're for Bai Zhanfeng, swallow them back down. If your heart aches because of him, if you have even the slightest regard for Luo Cheng, then steel yourself. Swallow those tears or cry where Luo Cheng can't see. You don't have the right to cry here. You made your choice before the entire world—you said you'd marry Luo Cheng. He's not a toy you can call to your side and cast away at will. You've made your decision, so don't regret it. Your senior brother is a good man. If you're willing, you can become the happiest woman in the world."
If happiness is within reach, why torment yourself?
"Not every love is meant to last a lifetime. Some people come into your life to help you grow; others are meant to stay by your side; and some will only ever remain a memory."
To Xianyue, Bai Zhanfeng was someone Nian Xiaoyu should grow and learn from, someone to cherish in her memories. But Luo Cheng—he was the man meant to grow old with her.
"Nian Xiaoyu, Bai Zhanfeng will always be your Feng brother. No one is asking you to forget him. Luo Cheng wouldn't be so cruel as to demand that of you. Let the past be the past. You must learn to look forward, to keep him in your heart. In this world, no one is indispensable. Perhaps now you feel as though you cannot go on, but you have your loving father, your devoted husband, and caring senior brother. In time, the pain will fade. To truly love someone is not to possess them, but to wish for their happiness."
In her heart, Jun Pinyu repeated Xianyue's words over and over. Yet, her face grew paler, a profound sense of helplessness taking root within her.
Lan Yixuan's gaze remained steady on Xianyue, though inside, a storm was raging. Xianyue's unwavering resolve stirred doubts in his heart. Feng Jiulan may have been the one who helped her grow, but he would never be the man to share her life. If he were to leave her side one day, could she comfort herself with the very words she had spoken? Could she truly move on from such sorrow?
Xianyue, of course, understood all this. She knew better than anyone what she could not achieve. Her words were those of an outsider, an onlooker. She was Feng Xianyue, not Nian Xiaoyu, and aside from Feng Jiulan, she had nothing.
Nian Xiaoyu lifted her head, staring blankly at Xianyue, her delicate features yet to fully mature. The princess of Xihe, of the Feng Kingdom, was only fourteen years old, and hadn't she never experienced love herself? How could she speak such words, filled with so much pain? She looked at Luo Cheng with a deep sorrow in her eyes. She had tried, but she simply could not control herself.
In this world, if everyone could truly live without those they love, why would so many women choose to die for love? Would that make them weak?
"You've never experienced it yourself?"
Nian Xiaoyu murmured softly, "If you had experienced it, if you had loved deeply, could you still say these things?"
Xianyue met Nian Xiaoyu's bewildered gaze and nodded. "Yes, I haven't experienced it."
She remained composed, as if the weight of the world could not touch her, speaking with the lightness only an outsider could possess.
"But Nian Xiaoyu, even if I had, I would never allow myself to become like this."
With a gesture of disdain, Xianyue released Nian Xiaoyu's hand and stepped back. "Lei Yun, bring some clear water."
This time, Lei Yun did not look to Lan Yixuan for approval. Perhaps, unknowingly, even he had been captivated by this young girl, by the profound wisdom she seemed to carry so effortlessly.
If the one who loved you abandoned you, should you not harbor hatred or regret? Should you simply cherish the beautiful memories? If he had understood this, the young lord would not have ended up as he did.
Lei Yun brought the water and placed it before Xianyue. She nodded, gesturing toward the basin. "Nian Xiaoyu, look."
Nian Xiaoyu followed her direction and saw her reflection in the water—pale and haggard, her eyes red-rimmed, her lips drained of color, hair in disarray. Tears clung to her ghostly face, her disheveled hair sticking to her skin. She didn't see herself as pitiful, but rather like a specter, lost and forsaken. Covering her face, she could not bear to look any longer.
"Even if the day comes when I love a man I shouldn't, Nian Xiaoyu, I can assure you I will never allow myself to fall into such a wretched state. If you cannot even love yourself properly, how can you expect anyone else to treasure you? That man you love so dearly—is he the one you expect to treat you as a prized jewel? Love is not charity, Nian Xiaoyu. Don't you realize how low you've stooped? To degrade yourself to dust for a mere feeling is the greatest folly of all. Love someone if you must, but always with boundaries. Never abandon your principles or your dignity. But look at what you've done all these years."
She wasn't entirely sure if what she said was right—perhaps everyone had that one exception in their life. But unlike Nian Xiaoyu, for her, that person was her brother.
Yet Feng Xianyue's love would never be a one-sided sacrifice. If her brother were like Bai Zhanfeng, she couldn't predict what she would do. Everything Bai Zhanfeng had done was for her own good. In truth, she didn't belong in the Bai family. They were all born in the wrong era. If it weren't for the chaos of the times, perhaps each of them could have found the happiness they truly sought.
She believed her brother was different from Bai Zhanfeng. He could never bring himself to hurt her. And if that day ever came, perhaps she would still foolishly choose to protect him, because the warmth of those precious memories had left too many indelible marks on her heart. She could never let them go.
Nian Xiaoyu, too, was questioning herself. Over these years, what had she truly accomplished? During what should have been the most beautiful time of her life, what had she done?
She had spent her days following Bai Zhanfeng, using her whip to drive away the women who approached her "Brother Feng." And then… she didn't know what else.
"Have you considered how your father feels? Seeing you like this must break his heart. You are his only daughter. He must have hoped to see you bring joy to his later years. But Nian Xiaoyu, how have you repaid him for his care and love? You think I speak lightly because I haven't experienced what you have, but Nian Xiaoyu, your selfishness is only surpassed by your lack of responsibility."
"Responsibility?"
Nian Xiaoyu could only stare blankly at Xianyue, repeating the word to herself. Tears blurred her vision, her mind a haze. But even through the fog, she agreed with Xianyue's words.
She couldn't remember the things she had done, but she admitted to her selfishness. Xianyue patted Nian Xiaoyu's shoulder, her gaze drifting toward the entrance. The stairs wound their way up, and from this angle, she could see the bustling street outside, the pedestrians and carriages passing by. Her once-gentle eyes now sparkled with unwavering resolve, as immovable as a boulder.
"Each of us carries our own burdens—family, love, friendship. We all have the right to pursue our happiness, and we all have our own ambitions. But we must always remember who we are, never forget the weight we bear. We can't run from our responsibilities just because of our desires. You are Nian Xiaoyu, the only daughter of the former Wulin Alliance leader, Nian Anba. As his child, it's one thing not to bring him glory, but you cannot let him lose face and worry himself sick."
Nian Xiaoyu gazed at Xianyue for a long time, lost in thought. Then, Luo Cheng stepped forward and took her into his arms. This time, Xianyue did not stop him. She watched the two embrace, and when Luo Cheng turned to look at her, the boyish shyness on his face was filled with tenderness. His eyes glimmered with gratitude.
Xianyue smiled faintly. Perhaps she had reached out to pull Nian Xiaoyu up, but she couldn't deny her own self-interest. The fragmented state of the kingdoms would soon come to an end. Chaos would envelop the land, and she needed the support of the martial world. When Xuanyuan Hao raised his banner of justice, she needed someone to help him rally the people.
If Nian Xiaoyu could truly be awakened, Nian Anba and Luo Cheng would owe her a favor. Nian Anba had spent decades in the martial world, known for his righteousness and influence. Otherwise, he wouldn't have become the leader of the Wulin Alliance.
As a princess of Feng Kingdom, Xianyue couldn't act on impulse. Every move had a purpose, never entirely pure.
With a smile, Xianyue moved closer to Feng Jiulan, her steps light. Passing by Xuanyuan Hao, her hair brushed his face with a fleeting fragrance. He instinctively closed his eyes, trying to grasp what kind of scent it was, but before the thought could take root, the strands had already left his skin without a trace of hesitation.
His hand hung at his side, stiff and trembling. He longed to reach out, to grasp something, but his strength failed him. He could only watch that white figure grow smaller and smaller, fading into the distance.
He turned, unable to help himself, as that carefree silhouette moved further and further away. His heart felt empty, as though a part of him had been hollowed out. It was as if he had missed something vital, something irreplaceable.
In his heart, there was only room for her, yet he could not give her a lifetime of devotion. Who in this world could?
She passed him by without a second thought, leaving him behind without a glance. He suddenly recalled their first meeting in Zhaoyang City. He cast a glance at Jun Pinyu, whose gentle eyes had taken on a tinge of sorrow and bitterness. "If only life were as it was at first sight," he thought bitterly, and the taste grew ever more acrid.
Xianyue knelt before Feng Jiulan, gazing up at him with a faint smile. Her once-defiant, bright eyes were now soft and obedient, lacking their usual wildness.
Feng Jiulan merely smiled, his indifferent expression as warm as the sun in early spring, soft and soothing, like a gentle caress to the soul.
"My moon is worthy."
He gazed at Xianyue, his voice as tender as ever.
"My Yue'er is the finest woman in this world, worthy of being any man's only love."
Xianyue tugged at the corners of her mouth, unable to summon a smile.
She was the princess of the Feng Kingdom, the cherished pearl in Feng Jiulan's palm, and the predestined Feng Maiden. All of this was enough to match any man in the world. But what if she were just Feng Xianyue?
"Brother, let's go back."
Xianyue abruptly stood up. Feng Jiulan nodded, rising to hold her hand, but Xianyue suddenly crouched down and beckoned him: "Brother, let me carry you."
She turned her head, seeing Feng Jiulan hesitate, and took two steps back. "Brother, hurry up. We're running out of time."
Everyone stared in disbelief. Yun Qinghen guided Feng Jiulan forward. "Your Highness..."
Xianyue smiled. "Don't worry, Brother, I'll carry you steadily."
Her gaze was resolute, as if she could bear the weight of a mountain on her shoulders.
Feng Jiulan was not concerned she would let him fall; he just didn't want to burden her. How could he not understand? It wasn't just Feng Jiulan she wanted to carry.
Xianyue walked a few paces with him on her back, each step steady and firm, without a trace of wobble.
She paused, her sharp eyes sweeping across the crowd. Her lips curled into a smile, though her back was slightly hunched, carrying Feng Jiulan, she stood with unyielding pride. The hall was silent, no one dared to speak or intervene, the only sound was the weighty breathing that hung in the air. Then, her voice rang out:
"Any of you who wish to marry me may try, but if you can't devote yourself to me entirely, don't expect me to live as if you were my entire world like other women do."
A collective shudder ran through the crowd, leaving them momentarily stunned. In that instant, they thought, if they could have her heart, even a lifetime with only her would be worth it.
"I am Princess Xihe of Feng Kingdom. Any of you—"
Her finger traced across each face in the room. "Who dares to invade Feng, harm its people, or injure my brother, will first have to step over my corpse. If you lack that strength, you might as well die by my hand."
As she spoke, her lips curled into a smile, but her clear eyes held no trace of mirth, only deadly seriousness. There was no doubt in their minds—if that day ever came, if an army truly knocked on Feng's gates, it would be this delicate princess standing atop the city walls, commanding the defense.
At the age of four, she had killed a man. What had once seemed like a rumor now seemed undeniably true. They couldn't reconcile the woman before them with the girl who had once sat sobbing on the floor. Yet reality was as it was.
They were certain—if anyone hurt the Crown Prince of Feng, she would turn into a madwoman, attacking relentlessly until one of them lay dead.
"Yue'er..."
On Xianyue's shoulder, Feng Jiulan could clearly sense the growing hostility in her. He called out her name, his voice tinged with worry.
Why was he so useless? If only he could be like Xuanyuan Hao or Lan Yixuan, then his Yue'er wouldn't have to bear so much. As he was now, he only dragged her down.
Xianyue smiled as she passed by Ning Yunyan. "Princess, there have been far too many interruptions at this banquet."
She sighed regretfully, "I came for the wine and fine food, but now I've been punished and can't drink."
She pouted, wrinkling her brow in frustration. "Such a shame. Brother and I will take our leave."
With a smile, she walked past her, then paused, blinking innocently: "Princess Yunyan, your Celestial Empire has already fallen."
The princess of the Celestial Empire, who now survived only by clinging to the descendants of former feudal lords, was nothing compared to the Feng Kingdom.
Ning Yunyan turned her head away, only to see Xianyue already at the staircase. She could no longer see her, only the sight of Feng Jiulan on her back. She had planned to humiliate her, yet before she could even act, her dignity had been utterly trampled. Xianyue had given her no chance to retaliate.
Why had the Celestial Empire not fallen sooner, or later? Why at this very moment?
"Brother, you still haven't told me what you want for your birthday."
"As long as it's from you, Yue'er, I'll love it."
"Then I'll sing you a birthday song. I used to sing for you every year when we were at Lihua House."
"Hmm."
"And birthday noodles?"
"Hmm."
"And the stars in the sky?"
"Hmm."
"And the moon?"
"Hmm."
Xianyue chuckled. "Alright, Brother. If you want the stars and the moon in the sky, I'll pluck them down for you."