As I entered the castle, I could see everyone crowding the hallway—professors and students alike. Excitement and happiness radiated from everyone; it was nice, but I just didn't want to celebrate with them. So, I smiled politely and continued on my way to the Great Hall, with students opening the way for me and following behind. No one said anything to me directly yet, but the loud whispers certainly didn't help.
Finally, I sat in my seat at the Great Hall, with professors to my right and left. Students were either in their seats at their house tables or just sitting on the tables, and, yes, the Weasley twins were sitting on the tables instead of the chairs.
"Ahem." I gave a fake cough to bring everyone's attention and then continued, "Okay. Now that everyone has stopped talking, let's start. If you have questions, you can ask them, but only after the professors are done." I was addressing everyone in the Great Hall. Then Professor Flitwick couldn't hold it anymore and started.
"Harry, that was a very good duel. It was exciting to watch, but why didn't you notify us before it happened? This could have turned into a very bad situation. You have to understand that we, as professors, have an obligation to protect the students here, so we need to know if there's an attack to prepare for it," Professor Flitwick said. He tried to sound reprimanding, but the excitement in his tone betrayed him. I could see Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout's eyebrows twitching at his tone of voice.
"Well, Professor, I didn't know they were here until Hogwarts notified me. I was in deep meditation, so I really didn't care about anything nor did I notice anything until they arrived. I also activated the wartime wards of Hogwarts, as you all should be able to tell, so even if every wizard in the British Isles tried to break in, they wouldn't be able to—let alone Voldemort," I replied seriously. True, there was some ridicule mixed in there at the end, but they should be used to me doing that by now.
Another voice caught my attention, so I turned as I heard it say, "Mr. Potter, you'll be coming with me to the infirmary after this for a check-up." It was none other than Madam Pomfrey, with her usual no-joke tone. All I could do was nod.
Seriously, what kind of magic is she using?
"Anyway, let's continue with the questions while you can because I just granted entry to the always-late Aurors and the enigmatic Department of Mysteries," I said jokingly, trying to divert attention from Madam Pomfrey's words. This caused a few chuckles and prompted students to start raising their hands. There were a lot of hands.
Hmmm, let's do it like this then.
"Okay, stop. Stop… new rule: Every house has three questions only—discuss them first and then ask, because if I wanted to answer everyone here, we'd still be here in the morning," I said after noticing just how many hands were raised. This caused the students to instantly start forming circles to talk amongst themselves. I looked at the professors to see if anyone wanted to ask something. Professor Flitwick was still vibrating in his seat like a kid on a sugar rush, so I gestured for him to go ahead.
"Harry, about the wartime wards you activated—can you tell us about them?" He seemed really excited about this, huh?
"Well, professors, there are a lot of things about the wards that will take more time than we have to explain, but I can tell you about one or two of my favorites. How about it?" I said while looking at them. Professor Flitwick and the others nodded eagerly, so I continued. "Okay then, when I activated the wartime wards, the first—and obviously my favorite—is the outer barrier. Now you may wonder, why is that? It's because it's an ingenious idea and design. You see, what it does is simple: it notes where every spell cast upon it comes from, absorbs them, and uses their magic to charge and cast the only spell that's engraved into it—the 'Bombarda' spell—back at them. This guarantees more time for preparation for the people inside and also helps to cull the number of enemies." I paused a little for dramatic effect and then continued. "The one after that is also ingenious because it redirects any and all spells cast upon it—no matter what kind—back to where they originate… I could go on and explain the rest, but our guests have arrived."
As if on cue, the doors of the Great Hall opened, bringing to our attention Madam Bones, with the young metamorphmagus Tonks right behind her, followed by a three-man squad consisting of Mad-Eye Moody, the one I stunned last time—whose name I still don't know—and a new female Auror I was seeing for the first time.
They were followed by two men in black clothing with masks that I barely cared about.
"Welcome to Hogwarts. What can I do for you, Madam Bones and entourage?" I said in a joking tone, followed by, "Oh, and please be warned that the wartime wards are still up, so any hostile movement will be met with swift eradication. No second chances." My serious tone made the frown on their faces deepen, but who cares? Obviously not me.
"Mr. Potter, I would like to know why you had to duel You-Know-Who inside a school full of students. Why didn't you notify us? And just why?" Madam Bones' first and second questions were asked in an angry tone, followed by a frustrated one. I could see where she was coming from, so I didn't make her job more difficult.
"Hmm, well, first of all, if you didn't even know about the hordes of wizards and dark creatures coming to Hogwarts, then the problem lies with your ministry and not with me. I only noticed them when they arrived. Second, why in Merlin's name would I notify you? What could you possibly do that I haven't already done more efficiently? And lastly, Voldemort performed some kind of ritual where the winner takes all as his last-ditch effort to save himself, and I wanted a good fight without interruption, so I fought him here," I told her, my tone shifting between serious, ridiculing, and playful.
"Mr. Potter, we want to know why you felt the need to broadcast the entire fight and what kind of magic you cast in that last spell," one of the Unspeakables said, cutting off any retort that Madam Bones might have had.
"Oh, the mysterious Department of Mysteries," I said in a very obviously fake tone of amazement, and then continued, my tone shifting to serious. "So let me get this straight: you came to my castle to question me about magic I used during a battle that, as you witnessed, I had just won, without introducing who you are, what you are, where you come from, or anything?"
"Yes, Mr. Potter. This is our job," he replied, arrogance radiating from him for everyone to see. I wanted to beat the crap out of him, but I held back. I wanted to see what he would do after I messed with him a bit.
"Hmm, well okay then. Write this down, will you?" I said with a serious tone. Now it was their turn to be caught off guard. It seemed they didn't expect me to say that. —Hmmm, interesting! Something else about them caught my eys but I didn't have time to dwell on that now— still, they took out their notebooks and looked at me, expecting me to continue. And so I did.
"Okay, make sure you write this correctly." I said trying to build more tension…
"The spell's name is 'Fuckus' with an *ō* sound in the last syllable….
the incantation is 'Fuckus Your Motherus.' And the hand movement is *🖕🏼* Have you heard of it? Of course you didn't!! I created it just for you. Do you want me to cast it for you? As a demonstration you know, for observation purposes, hmmm?"
My reply sparked laughter and giggles from everywhere. I mean, what did these guys expect? That I'd just tell him? Poor bastards.
This also caused the two Unspeakables to freeze for a few moments before drawing their wands. I wanted them to point them at me and cast a spell so I could test how quickly they could be vaporized. It's not every day you can turn on the wartime wards.
———