--
Alice sat alone in her room, staring out the window. The sky outside was a pale blue, clouds drifting lazily across it, but her thoughts were anything but calm. It had been a day since Ryan had offered to help her—a day spent battling a mix of emotions swirling inside her: doubt, hope, fear.
Can I really trust him? she wondered for the hundredth time.
Ryan had been so calm, so confident when he spoke to her. But how could he be so sure? Even the Archbishop, someone revered across the kingdom, hadn't been able to help her. The Pope was their last hope, her parents said, and yet here was Ryan, a boy younger than her, claiming he could fix what no one else could.
Her heart ached with frustration. She hated feeling this way—helpless, weak. Everyone else had already sensed mana: her brothers, Aria, even Ryan. And Eric, her younger brother, had already begun his training. But for her, it was different. No matter how hard she tried, how much she focused, she couldn't feel a thing.
What if I never sense it? The thought gnawed at her constantly, a shadow lurking in the back of her mind. What if she was destined to be left behind, powerless, while everyone else moved forward?
She clenched her fists, the cool fabric of her dress crumpling under her grip. The feeling of being trapped, stuck in place while the world around her kept moving, was suffocating.
There was a knock at the door, pulling her from her thoughts.
"Alice?" a familiar voice called from the other side. It was Ryan.
Alice hesitated, staring at the door for a moment before standing. She walked over and opened it, finding Ryan waiting there, his calm blue eyes watching her.
"You're early," she said quietly, stepping aside to let him in.
Ryan gave a small nod and walked into the room. He glanced around, noticing how neat everything was—books stacked on the table, her bed perfectly made. Everything was in order, except the storm of emotions Alice was trying to contain.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken words. Ryan finally broke it.
"Have you thought about it?" he asked gently.
Alice crossed her arms, her gaze dropping to the floor. "I have," she admitted. "I don't know if I can do this, Ryan. What if it doesn't work? What if I get hurt?"
Ryan was quiet for a moment, considering her words. "I understand why you're worried," he said softly. "But I wouldn't offer if I didn't think it could help."
Alice looked up at him, her eyes searching his face. He seemed so certain, so sure of himself. But what if he was wrong?
"What if I never sense it?" she whispered, her voice small and fragile, as if saying the words out loud might make them true.
Ryan took a step closer, his expression gentle but firm. "You will. I know it's hard to believe right now, but you will sense it. You just need a little help getting there."
Alice felt her throat tighten. She wanted to believe him—she really did—but the fear of failure was overwhelming. What if she let him try and nothing changed? What if she disappointed everyone again?
Ryan must have sensed her hesitation because he spoke again, his voice reassuring. "I'm not asking you to trust me completely right now. But trust me enough to try. Let's take it one step at a time. If you want to stop, we stop. I'm not going to force you."
Alice closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. His words settled over her, easing some of the tension that had been building in her chest. He wasn't pushing her, wasn't demanding anything. He was just offering help.
She opened her eyes and nodded slowly. "Okay," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'll try."
Ryan's face softened into a small, encouraging smile. "That's all I ask."
---
Alice sat cross-legged on the floor of her room, her hands resting lightly in her lap. The curtains were drawn, letting in only the soft, filtered light of the early sun. The room felt calm, peaceful, but Alice's heart was racing.
Ryan sat across from her, his posture relaxed, his hands resting on his knees. He hadn't said much since arriving—just small reassurances as they prepared. Now, the real test was about to begin.
"Ready?" Ryan asked gently.
Alice swallowed hard, her hands clenching into fists for a brief moment before she forced herself to relax. "Yes," she whispered, though her voice trembled slightly.
Ryan gave her an encouraging nod. "Okay. I want you to close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Slow, deep breaths. In... and out."
Alice did as he asked, closing her eyes and focusing on the rhythm of her breath. In. Out. In. Out. Slowly, she began to feel a little more grounded, the knot of anxiety in her chest loosening just a bit.
"Now, I'm going to help guide your mana," Ryan explained. "I'll use mine to show you what it feels like. Don't force anything. Just let it happen naturally."
Ryan put his hands gently on her back. After a moment, his eyes began to glow as his mana transformed into holy magic. A soft golden glow spread across Alice's body, enveloping her like a gentle warmth.
"I'm going to do it now," Ryan said, his voice steady. "Try to get a sense of the feeling. Once you can grasp it, sensing mana will become easier."
As Ryan began converting the holy magic back into mana, he allowed the energy to flow into Alice's body. Alice, sitting still, felt an unfamiliar warmth stirring inside her—a sensation she had never felt before.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she tried to focus. Come on... she thought desperately, pushing away her doubts. Just feel it...
The warmth grew, spreading through her body like a gentle flame. It was faint, almost elusive, like a whisper of something far away. But it was there. For the first time, Alice felt it.
Her breath hitched, her heart trembling with a mixture of shock and hope.
"I... I think I feel it," Alice whispered, her voice filled with wonder. Her chest tightened, a knot of emotions rising in her throat as she focused harder, trying to hold onto that fleeting sensation.
Ryan smiled softly, though his voice remained relaxed . "That's it, Alice. You're starting to sense it."
Tears welled in Alice's eyes. She had been waiting for this moment for so long, and now, here it was—just a tiny spark, but it was real. After so much frustration, so many sleepless nights spent wondering if she would ever sense mana, she could finally feel it.
Her body trembled slightly, her emotions overwhelming her. She wanted to cry, to laugh, to scream. For the first time in so long, she didn't feel like a failure. She wasn't broken.
"I can feel it," Alice whispered again, her voice thick with emotion. "I really can feel it..."
Ryan's voice was steady, offering her quiet encouragement. "Good. Just hold onto that feeling. We'll keep working on it, but for now, focus on what you're sensing. Let it grow naturally."
Alice nodded, her tears slipping down her cheeks. The warmth inside her flickered and pulsed, faint but unmistakable.
She wasn't powerless.
She wasn't alone.
For the first time in a long time,
Alice felt hope.
And that was more than enough to make her want to keep trying.
---
---